By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jan 3, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Several months ago my friend Jonathan Miller, who had been concerned about my attire choices, took mr to Brooks Brothers and made me buy a single dark suit and a blue blazer.
And today I am wearing my dark Brooks Brotbers suit.
As I left the house this morning I felt like I was wearing my Big Boy dark suit and my Big Boy tie and had my Big Boy Samsonite brief case bag and got into my Big Boy gray Avalon car and headed to meet one on my clients to do some Big Boy stuff today. I even have important looking papers and a legal pad with my writing on it sticking out of my bag. All very Big boy -esque.
 But as I was typing this I noticed I had on the wrong grey pants and not the ones that came with the suit. Dang it! Having on the right Big Boy pants is key to pulling off a Big Boy day.
Well, I got the socks and shoes right and the gray pant color is close enough to the grey jacket.
Bottom line is if no one notices my dark pants don’t perfectly match my dark jacket, I am going to have a Big Boy day anyway! Or at least try to.
And just hope no one can tell I still don’t feel like a big boy on the inside. Especially if they notice the off-color pants.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jan 2, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
If we each discovered the magic remote control to our life story, I think we have to ask ourselves which of these options we would choose.
Would we:
- Want to change the channel?
- TiVO it to watch later?
- Mute it and play music in the background?
- Try to rewind?
- Try to fast forward?
- Pause it?
- Make popcorn?
- Watch on the HD screen TV?
- Try to adjust the color?
- Increase the screen brightness amd then later dim it back?
- Wish it were from the Action section?
- Not care what section our life story would be filed in as long as it was displayed in the “Employees Picks” section?
- Wonder if there will be a sequel?
- Hope it is not a prequel?
- Wish it were in subtitles?
- Wonder if you would have missed parts when LOST was at its peak popularity?
- Wonder what you have to do to get nominated for a Emmy award?
- Wonder if we don’t watch would it hurt our Nielsen ratings in a way that could be hard to explain later on?
- Begin to truly see the value and social utility of commercial breaks?
- Wonder if your life story is running on PBS, HBO, network TV, or Bravo?
- Wish you had been able to get an up-and-coming actor to play you instead of you playing yourself?
- Prefer your life story had been a monologue?
- Think it was a mistake you could only play one character?
- Feel the producer has made a lot of amateurish mistakes and should probably get fired?
- Suspect a cameo role may have been a better fit?
- Wonder if the line you are about to deliver will be the one replayed at the next Academy Awards ceremony?
- Worry that your life wouldn’t have survived as a pilot for a reality TV show?
- Wish that even though it’s not a game show, there was at least a catchy theme song?
- Feel you should be allowed to narrate it?
- Pine for the days when after midnight you would hear The Star Spangled banner and stare at a stationary picture of an Indian man?
- Wonder if the Mac Book Pro is really yours or just effective product placement?
- Be grateful for the possibility of future royalties for syndication?
- Wonder if it is true that the “camera puts on 10 poumds” or if it was just you who put on 10 pounds?
- Wonder if it would be better in Anime?
- Tell yourself “Although it may seem slow at times, it will make you think”?
- Try to convince yourself that Roger Ebert would give your life a “Thumbs up”?
- Secretly prefer that Gene Siskel give you a “Thumbs Down” because he just doesn’t “get it”?
- Wished you had at least one signing part?
- Realize there are a lot of surprises even though you thought the trailer gave it away?
- Hope that later on you can watch your favorite parts over and over.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jan 1, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Passing down (and up) traditions and wisdom from generation to generation.
Sunday night my son was walking out to his car with a short sleeve shirt on and I yelled “Johnny, wait a minute. How are you going to stay warm?”
Johnny replied, “My car, Dad. It has heat.” “I know that,”
I said, “But what if you have a flat tire or your car breaks down? It would be a good idea to keep a jacket or blanket in your car, just in case. I know I am irrritating you with advice like this but my mom told me the same thing when I was walking out of the house at your age without any socks on in the middle of a snow storm.”
Johnny, looking at me not irritated but amused shot back, “Did you do it? Did you keep a blanket or jacket in your car after that?”
“No. No, I didn’t,” I said. “But it was still pretty good advice. You know?”
“Look, Dad,” Johnny responded, “You are forgetting you had two parents you got your genes from. Grandmommy, who constantly is giving advice; and Big John, who never takes any advice. And I have the same genes so it’s just a waste of both our time for you to keep trying to tell me what I should do. It may be a good idea. But you didnt do those things and neither will I.”
We both laughed and agreed that was the wisest advice passed between father and son in a long time.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Dec 31, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Thought for the day (Perception and problem solving)
When faced with a new and unpleasant predicament I like to think of the best part about it, the worst part, the slver lining and the reality of the entire situation.
For example, today I am congested and have a cold.
Best part: I can sound like Barry White when I talk to my wife.
Worst part: My wife keeps clear of me while I am contagious.
Silver lining: Sometimes I fully recover from my cold and am no longer contagious before my voice completely heals and I can sound like Lou Rawls for a couple of days when I talk to my wife. (Lou’s voice isn’t as deep as Barry’s was but still sounds low, slow, melodic and smooth.)
The reality of the entire situation: It’s too bad I can’t sing with or without a cold.
Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean I should take singing lessons instead of taking Advil. It only means I should at least seriously consider that option.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Dec 30, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
 Click here to purchase his first book My second book and the fear of too much success.
I almost have enough new posts to put out a second book of Musings from the Middle before Christmas. But am not sure I have the time to risk having a blockbuster best seller.
It made me think of the time as a teenager I was shooting craps with friends and had failed to roll a pass for 10 consecutive rolls.
My logic before doubling down my bet for the 11th roll was “Since I had failed to roll a pass 10 times in a row I had much greater than usual odds to succeed on my 11th roll.” But I didn’t and lost my last dollar.
Later a math teacher explained to ne that if I flipped a coin 10 times in a row and it was heads each time on the 11th flip it would still only be a 50-50 chance of it being tails. I never liked that math teacher and always thought he was overly pessimistic about life.
So since my first book only has sold in the very high two digits (almost low three digits) and is ranked, like, two trillionth in sales rank on Amazon.com my old logic is returning and telling me if the first book was a complete sales failure the chances of a second book being a great success is pretty much guaranteed. At least if you look at the numbers, understand my logic, and have an optimistic mathematical view of the world, unlike my former math teacher.
Sometimes you just have to go for it and take the risk in life even when logic dictates you won’t have the time to handle your overehelming success. Just do it anyway and figure it out later.
And besides, what’s the worst that can happen? Sales jn the high two digits again? Heck, that would only means a third book would likely be a sure NY Times best seller.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Dec 27, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET  JYB Sr., JYB Jr. and JYB III circa 1972 My favorite –and perhaps most emblematic—story about my father when he was a child.
When John Y Jr was about 16 months old or so, my father hadn’t quite taken to walking yet. He probably didn’t see the point when everyone around him seemed so willing to carry him everywhere he needed to go. But that’s beside the point.
His slow visual and motor development was beginning to distress my grandmother, so she and my grandfather took my 16 month old father to a psychologist to test his responsiveness, perception and ability to navigate his surroundings.
For the first test the doctor laid out a soft blue blanket and put the 16 month old John Y Jr at the center of the blanket. The doctor then placed an eye-catching and appealing shiny red ball on one of the blanket corners several feet away from my father to see if he would notice the ball and then crawl to it and retrieve it to play with.
My father, sitting in the middle of the blanket, eyed the bright red ball several feet away and reached down beside his little legs and grabbed a fistful of the blanket and started pulling the ball to toward him.
And then picked up the ball while never moving himself and began playing with it.
The doctor sent my grandparents home and told them not to worry; their son was fine.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Dec 27, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Travel advice for intelligent life on other planets.
If there really is extraterrestrial life out there and they are aware of planet Earth and have beeen monitoring us and waiting for the right time to visit, there really is no better time of year better to visit our planet than around Christmas time and the entire holiday season.
Homes and businesses are decorated with bright colorful lights and our people are in a pleasant, gracious and friendly frame of mind–toward everyone, even strangers.
Granted, traffic can be bad and the weather is cold but, on the whole, as a planet, we are at our very best during this time of year.
And if you are savvy about it, you can find some real bargains for lodging, food and entertainment.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Dec 26, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
“When greatness meets class, that’s what God created in Dr J” — Magic Johnson
When I was 12 years old I had the great honor of being a ball boy for the 1975 ABA All-Star game in San Antonio, Texas.
It was a heady time for a young boy like me. I idolized these men; these near mythic figures whose moves, style, attitude and basketball statistics filled my young head and heart.
There’s really not much for a ball boy to do. Sweep the floor during timeouts, retrieve errant balls, and mostly just enjoy sitting and watching the game of the league’s greatest players from just a few feet a way. And admire and absorb the sounds, the physicality, the grunts, yells, sweat, trash talk, speed, force and gracefulness… and ultimately the comraderie of an All-Star ABA basketball team.
My “moment” –my time when the pressure was on me as a ball boy occurred late in the game, in fact it was in the 4th quarter.
It was during one of the last timeouts and it was my turn to serve the water. My job was to hand each of the players, most importantly the 5 players who had been playing on the court, a small cup of water in a white cooler cup. I don’t remember how many cups I was given to hand out. I just remember that one of the last ones was the one I handed to Dr J and for my “moment” I was so nervous and excited I spilled nearly the entire cup of water on the left side of the Dr’s All-Star jersey as I tried to hand it to him.
I was embarrassed –mortified for a few moments–but Dr J, as Magic Johnson later noted, was that rare combination of greatness and class. The Dr just chuckled at my gaffe and made light of it by saying, “I don’t want water. When are we going to get champagne?”
He artfully covered for me by pretending he didn’t even want the water and was holding out for something better. I was relieved and laughed awkwardly.
Dr. J did drink what little water was left in his small cooler cup and then got up as the timeout ended and returned to the floor and finished with 21 points and help carry his team to yet another victory. He was –and is–a class act. Even to a clumsy little ball boy who idolized him but couldn’t competently hand him a cup of water during a timeout break.
That was my “moment” –and as I grew older I realized that my “moment” wasn’t a failure about me spilling the water. It was positive moment about me being witness to the gentleman and class act that Dr J was and is–even in the most smallest of his interactions. Julius Erving was the greatest basketball player I ever saw play.
And, in my opinion, one of the greatest all around human beings to ever play professional sports.
Here is a tribute to the Doc that I planned on watching only a few minutes of but 1 hour and 9 minutes later realized I’d watched the entire documentary. And I’m glad I did!
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Dec 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
It’s game time. Christmas-wise anyway.
Imagine you are in a football huddle late in the game.
A lot is on the line.
The quarterback unsnaps his helmet chinstrap and looks intensely but hopefully at each and every player
Then refastens his chinstrap and says to the team:
“You know what to do. We’ve practiced every conversation and family interaction for months now.
It’s Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and even though we may not be ready for them; they are ready for us.
This is it. And I say we are ready. Let’s do this thing!
Oh, and one more thing. Let’s make this the merriest damn Christmas ever!
On one. Break!”
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The coolest thing about having teenagers on Christmas morning?It is 10:26am and although Santa and his team finished their work at around 2am, neither child is awake yet.Or even stirring.
Neither Johnny nor Maggie woke up naturally at the crack of dawn like they used to a few years ago.
And apparently don’t even bother to set their alarms as teens.
But I am up.
Waiting….
I am afraid to try to wake them for fear they may say, “Just 10 more minutes…”
So I am enjoying coffee and left overs from last night’s dessert and giving them a little more time to awaken, on teen time, for an exciting Christmas morning. Around noon.
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When our son was 5 we surprised him Christmas morning with a new puppy. He was ecstatic but as he held the new puppy my wife and I noticed the puppy was shivering. My wife commented to me several times asking me if I thought the shivering was normal and if our new puppy was OK.
Finally, our commonsense 5 year old son, Johnny, interrupted and said, “Mom, relax. The puppy has been on a sliegh all night long in cold weather. Of course she’s going to be shivering.”
I looked at my wife and laughing said, “Duh!”
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My loved ones are so, so hard to Christmas shop for!!
Why do I think that?
Because everytime I slip away to try to shop for them I easily find a thing or two for me– but can never quite find a gift for them. And have to keep looking. It’s very frustrating.
But as frustrating experiences go, more fun than most.
The other night my wife and I split up to shop more efficiently and when we met back up I was carrying a bag with a men’s robe and a pair of slacks. “Who is that for?” Rebecca asked. “What? This?” I responded in mock surprise.
“It is for you,” I explained. “For you to give to me for Christmas. I just had you in mind and was thinking how I could make things easier on you”
I am pretty sure Rebecca believed me….Or at least was hoping I would find other ways to shop for Christmas that had a more direct benefit to her and others…. ; )
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 Christmas Eve 2013 Today feels like that show where the winner got to take a shopping cart and rush through the store for exactly two minutes and could keep everything put in the cart during those two minutes.
Except in today’s game they make you pay for it all. At the end of your two minutes.It looked more fun the other way.
By Jeff Smith, on Tue Dec 24, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET From St. Louis Magazine:
 A few years ago, Missouri state Sen. Jeff Smith was caught lying to the feds about the funding for a certain political-attack mailer and wound up sentenced to a year behind bars. The charismatic young progressive, who has since left prison and politics behind, contributed a chapter to the new book The Recovering Politician’s Twelve Step Program to Survive Crisis. He tells confessional, instructive stories about what he learned from his mistakes. His chapter begins with a grabber—being strip-searched as he enters the lock-up.
Is the book literally a practical guide for politicians who’ve stumbled, or does it have a broader purpose? To some extent, it’s designed to be a guide, but in a broader way, it’s designed to give anyone who’s going through tough times a lot of ways to handle situations more appropriately, more effectively, in a way that’s healthier. For instance, let’s say you’re a salesman and you’re trying to sell widgets and the company you’re selling to says, “You knock 10 percent off that $1.7 million you just quoted me, and we’ll make it worth your while.” These things are often not so blunt, though. People in everyday life encounter ethical dilemmas in everything they do. The book provides a lot of insight into the mistakes that those of us in the public eye have made that mushroom out of control. Hopefully that can help a lot of people prevent their situations from ever getting to that stage. Most people are not going to be Eliot Spitzer or Anthony Weiner, plastered all over the tabloids, but we all live in a constant state of trying to do the right thing.
The book offers tales of woe from a bunch of former politicians being painfully honest, more so than you usually expect from politicians. We are all pretty vulnerable in that book. We’re getting deep, talking about the lowest moments in our lives, and we’re hoping it transcends people’s typical views of politicians as full of crap and constantly dissembling. There’s not a lot of that in this book.
How did you get involved with the Recovering Politician blog? There are two guys—the former secretary of state of Kentucky and the former treasurer of Kentucky—they started it. My ex-girlfriend had worked in Kentucky, and I met one of these guys. The two of them got together and brainstormed at the time I had just come out of prison, and it came together by happenstance. They asked me to write an essay about my experience, and it went from there.
In a candid column for the Recovering Politician website, you wrote about how the revelation that you’d spent a year in prison got the attention of a group of jaded young people at a party in Brooklyn. Is that a weird feeling, to have a certain street cred by virtue of having served time? Yeah, it’s weird. But you have to try to always let people remember a couple of things—that a lot of people in prison aren’t very much different from them, and that even the ones they think are very different aren’t as different as they think. I try not to let people “go slumming” off my experience. What I’m concerned about is the complete lack of rehabilitation in most prisons and the effect that has.
You’ve had some time, since November 2010, that you’ve been out of prison and the halfway house you went to after prison. Have you gotten some emotional distance from everything? Yes and no. I’ve gotten involved in a lot of activities related to prison issues. Compared to 2011, well, then I wasn’t ready to engage in a lot of stuff like that. But in the last six months, I’ve been spending a lot more time on those issues. I gave a speech at the Cleveland State Prison in Texas to several hundred graduates of one of their programs. The experience of being back inside was emotional. I’m working on a book about my experience in prison and how it’s informed my views on prison policy, and about how we can do a better job leveraging of the untapped talent in our prisons and cut our spending and reduce our recidivist rate.
In 2010, you told SLM’s Jeannette Cooperman that academe “does not even resemble the real world… One of my objectives is to try to explore ways to better connect poli sci with real-world politics.” Now you’re the assistant professor of politics and advocacy at the Milano School of International Affairs, Management, and Urban Policy at the New School in New York. Is that what you’re doing there? Yes. In fact, in the next week or two, I have to turn in my dossier, which is my giant file of everything I’ve done in the past few years, for my job renewal, and the opening of that is a statement of purpose, what you’re trying to do in academia. My goals are to help infuse academia with more of an understanding of real-world politics and to give students a better understanding of how things really work, what people who haven’t been in the game might not know. Conversely, I try to bring some of the social-science discipline and analytical training into the public world.
Click here to read the full piece.
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Several months ago my friend Jonathan Miller, who had been concerned about my attire choices, took mr to Brooks Brothers and made me buy a single dark suit and a blue blazer.
