John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Dear God

jyb_musingsDear God,

When you invented shaving every morning for men, what were You thinking? I know it was a long time ago and there was a good reason for it at the time. Just help me to understand.

P.S. I have lost 29 lbs this year. Since you don’t follow me on Facebook, you probably hadn’t heard. Pretty good, huh?

Hope the shaving question didn’t make You mad. Not questioning you. I am just curious. I think losing weight has given me more confidence and allowed me to be more assertive. And ask questions I wouldn’t have asked last year when I was heavier.

Let me know on the shaving thing.

And good job on most everything else.

P.P.S. I noticed in pictures of you at church you are carrying a few extra pounds than you probably should at your age. Do you know your BMI? I know we are all very busy, especially You, but we still have to take time to take care of our health. And that goes for You too. Since you don’t shave, maybe you could take those 5 minutes every morning the rest of us guys spend shaving and try running in place. Or doing jumping jacks. You will notice a difference pretty quickly.

Not judging. Just notice others wieght issues more than I used to. A more slimming and darker colored robe might help too. Just a thought.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: My Monday Morning

jyb_musingsMy Monday morning

My world

My way

My terms

My bed

Master of my universe

Then the alarm goes off

And all that’s left is

My alarm clock

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Weird Pleasantries

jyb_musingsI just spoke to the guy who is helping us install a new shower in our hone and, after giving him the credit card number and paying, I thanked him for all his time and assistance.

He thanked me and said to keep him posted and let him know how the installation goes and if we are happy with everything.

I thanked him again and said, “When we get everything finished we’d love to have you come over to see it and take a shower in it yourself.”

I love being an over-friendly Southerner –and joking around with people.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Deep or Shallow?

When you lie down with dogs...

When you lie down with dogs…

Is it better to be a deep or shallow person?

I used to be shallow for a deep person

But as I have matured I feel like I have become deep for a shallow person

jyb_musingsAnd I think I like the deep part of the shallow end of the pool better. You don’t have to tread water…and you get to take off the water wings.

 

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Bathroom Graffiti

10365908_10154696945845515_4389793107295919188_nDriving home from a conference in Nashville, TN I noticed the public restroom graffitti is notably higher brow here than I typically find in other states.

Part of me, upon reading this, wanted to grab a pen and scrawl in big letters, “I guess Finding Nemo is just an ‘OK’ Disney Pixar film, too, right? Wrong!”

My inner graffiti-loving self (that I thought was tamped down so deep it would never again see the light of day) almost got the best of me tonight.

What can I say? I love Pixar and Disney.

Fortunately I didn’t have a pen with me. And after counting to 10 I was able to even see that the author of this piece of graffiti had a point and that I, too, considered Toy Story 3 to be just “OK” on a lot of different levels.

jyb_musingsSo I maturely let the graffiti comment go.

Even though he was from TN.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: The Evolution of Customer Service

jyb_musingsThe evolution of customer service in American business.

1960’s “Take a ticket, take a seat”

1970-1999 “The customer is always right.”

2000 – “Take a virtual ticket, take a virtual seat

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Here I Come!

jyb_musingsWell world…here I come today!

One more sucker…running onto the field. And today I am going big! And starting early to get a head start on the rest of the world. Willing to totally humiliate myself in every way possible —and doing so loudly and proudly.

I will either achieve greatly or fail spectacularly. Or (most likely) do something in between.

But I am ready and willing to outfail anyone who gets in my way. And that is what matters most!

Let’s do this thing!

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Leadership Wall Hangings

jyb_musingsI wish there were leadership wall hangings like this –with a sense of humor.

Do not walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Do not walk behind me, I may not lead.

And do not walk beside me because I don’t feel like talking to you right now.

Maybe you can try me later today to see if I feel differently.

Until then you are going to have to find someone else to walk with.

Sorry.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: iPhone 6 FAIL

jyb_musingsMy iPhone 6 doesn’t work!! I am so disappointed.

No, no. I don’t mean that it doesn’t work in the “doesn’t function properly” sense. Or that it is bendable or has some sort of software bug.

I mean the iPhone 6 doesn’t work in the larger sense that it failed to make my life feel utterly happy and complete –and to make me more organized, hip and successful than I was without an iPhone 6.

I tested my theory by not telling several people close to me that I now own a iPhone 6 to see if they would comment about the “new me.”

For example, I expected to start getting invited to certain chic parties I hadn’t been invited to before –or having these friends struggle to identify what exactly was different about me now (since they didn’t know about the new phone). Perhaps they would ask me questions like, “Did you get a new haircut recently?” Or “Did you lose even more weight?” Or “Did you just do or buy something that has made you irresistibly fabulous over night?”

Well, none of that happened. In fact, one friend even told me I was irritating because I kept talking about smart phone upgrades hoping he would ask me if I had upgraded recently.

I am thinking of returning my iPhone 6 for being outright defective for not delivering to me that elusive “x factor” or “Je ne sais quois” the iPhone 6 ads seemed to be promising.

On the other hand, maybe I simply got the wrong color and need to exchange my white iPhone 6 for the gold of black models. That has to be what the real problem is.

Right?

Otherwise it would mean something is wrong with me. Or that I am going to have to wait for the iPhone 7 to be released.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Self-Confidence

jyb_musingsHow can you tell you are doing well on your diet and also behaving in a more mature and self-confident manner?

When, after getting dressed in the morning, you really want to take a selfie and post it on Facebook — but you don’t.

And only write about it in a Facebook post instead.

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Sometimes at the end of a long, exhausting and frustrating day, the only thing that really helps me relax is to let out a long stream of cuss words as loudly as I can and to just say ‘em in whatever order they pop into my head and to keep saying ‘em until I’m out of breath from cussing so hard.

Then I’m ready for a light and pleasant evening.

John Y.’s Video Flashback (1995):

John Y’s Links: