Ignorance isn’t bliss. Or else almost everybody would be blissful –instead of straining to pretend we are knowledgeable.
Maybe that is an overstatement but the prevalence of my own ignorance astounds me sometimes.
Today I listened to a gentleman point out how many times a particular word shows up in a particular book. The idea was that the word –a concept really–was important because it is used so often by the author.
That got me to thinking. “OK then. What word is used more than any other in the book? That word must be the most important word of all, right? I figured it is probably the word ‘the.’ That doesn’t mean ‘the’ is the most important word or “message.” It is just ironic given the point my friend was making –and I (silently) was being a smart aleck.
But then I tried to define “the” to myself. “Well,” I thought, “it’s an article…and means…um…um….well what it means is….it is….means…..geez…I got nothing.”
That’s right. In addition to “the” perhaps being the most common word in most any book, “the” is the word –of the thousands of words I utter each day–the word I use most of all!!
And I have no idea beyond a finessed fake answer what the dickens “the” means or how to define it. My most used word in the English language.
So I looked it up. And here is the definition.
“The (used, especially before a noun, with a specifying or particularizing effect, as opposed to the indefinite or generalizing force of the indefinite article a or an):the book you gave me; (Come into the house)”
And I was reminded why I am not able to define “the” –and probably never will be able to.
But I am gonna keep using the heck out of the word “the” anyway!
The end. (Whatever that means.)
So let me tell you about what I’ve been reading lately –not!
If you frequently drive around clients in your car, you have to be careful not to leave every self-help book you happen to be reading in plain sight in the back seat.
Clients sitting in the back seat will notice them even if you tell yourself “Oh, they probably didn’t see that.”
And they will either make an unflattering assumption about you or ask to borrow the book from you. Neither of which is desireable.
It is much better if I client finds out about the self-help books you are reading by you posting pictures of them on Facebook. That way they won’t ask to borrow them. And if they make a snarky remark to you about what you are reading, you can tease them about still being on Facebook at their age. (Of course, they might find that comeback from you ironic and buy you a few more self-help books.)
And if all else fails you can tell them you bought the books to help you learn better how to cope with them. That is a good line for saving face–and losing clients.
It just makes better business sense to talk about the weather.
From St. Louis Public Radio:
Rod Jetton was once the most powerful lawmaker in Missouri.
As speaker of the Missouri House, he had the power to exalt or kill any bill that flowed through the General Assembly. From all appearances, he had a bright political future.
Behind the scenes, however, Jetton was on a course for self-destruction.
By the time he left office, the FBI was investigating him for bribery. He was facing serious jail time after being accused of felony assault. Just months after being one of the most powerful men in Missouri politics, Jetton was broke and without a job.
Jetton’s life has stabilized in recent years. He decided to recount his downfall in the book Success Can Kill You, which was released a few weeks ago. He said he hopes it serves as a warning to those entering the political world.
“I thought this might be something that would hopefully help somebody say, ‘I need to pay a little bit more attention to this. I need to be careful. I don’t want to make those mistakes that Rod made,’” Jetton said in a telephone interview. “You know, maybe be a warning to people: Don’t make these mistakes.”
Jetton has talked about his tribulations before through essays on the Recovering Politician website. But the book offers new insight into how misplaced priorities, flattery and bitterness can seriously backfire.
Dave Robertson, a political science professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, said Jetton’s story showcases how the pressures of politics and legislative duties can impact people. He said others could learn a lot from his story.
“It’s Shakespearean,” Robertson said. “You put some character in a situation where their weaknesses are going to be accentuated, and the deterioration is going to be accelerated. They’re going to go downhill in a pretty dramatic way.”
At this velocity
Jetton’s rise in Missouri politics was rapid. In just four years, he went from being an inexperienced backbencher in the Republican minority to the most powerful legislator in the state.
As speaker of the House from 2005 to 2009, there’s little debate that Jetton’s tenure was fruitful from a policy perspective. Many longtime Republican priorities were passed into law. But Jetton’s efforts to grow the GOP majority and climb the leadership ladder took its toll.
He detailed in his book how fights within his caucus made him vindictive and eager to prove that he was “the man.” That included stripping then-House Budget Chairman Brad Lager, R-Savannah, of his post; removing then-Rep. Scott Lipke, R-Scott County, as chairman of a public safety-related committee and making sure none of then-Sen. Matt Bartle’s legislation ended up passing the House.
“I used to think before I got into politics that it was the king of the mountain. That we were fighting the Democrats to get to the top and rule the world,” Jetton said. “And then you start learning that there’s two mountains. You’ve got a Republican mountain and the Democratic mountain. And the fight to get to the top of your own mountain is so much worse than I ever dreamed.
“When you’re speaker, you have the stroke to step up and throw down,” he added. “And the pride that went with it started making me do that more and more. Which led to more conflict.”
All the while, Jetton was spending long stretches of time away from his wife and children, which eventually led to his 2009 divorce. He had begun drinking more and more – even though he had sworn off alcohol after issues with the substance as a youth. And he became disconnected with his religious faith.
“It’s probably the most embarrassing thing about the story for me. I know that I let that stuff change the person I was,” Jetton said. “My priorities, my values, my focus – it all started changing a little bit. I think it’s a combination of the personal pride a person has and the flattery that they receive.”
After term limits forced him to leave office in 2009, Jetton transitioned into political consulting. But that would be upended in spectacular fashion.
Near the end of 2009, Jetton was charged with felony assault. The startling details within the probable cause statement prompted the national headlines. He was accused of hitting and choking a woman during a sexual encounter. Soon after the news broke, Jetton shut down his lucrative consulting business.
“There was no blaming anybody. As much as I don’t really want to relive all of that, at the same time, that brought me to my knees and I finally said, ‘OK, I’ve got to straighten myself out and get back to where I need to be.’,” Jetton said. “Without that happening, I don’t know if I would have done that.”
Jetton was also the target in a federal grand jury investigation into whether campaign contributions played a role in killing one of Matt Bartle’s bills regulating strip clubs. In both cases, Jetton was facing significant jail time.
The lessons of hitting bottom
One key element of the book is how his December 2009 arrest prompted him to reevaluate his priorities. He had the time, as he was unemployed, financially ruined and living in a friend’s basement. Things were so bad, he said, that he couldn’t get a job as a salesman at Sears.
“I was isolated and my world was over,” Jetton said. “Now, as bad as that was, there was a benefit to it that I’m thankful for. Most of our lives are so busy and hectic that we don’t ever have an opportunity to stop and think or, like the professors, take a sabbatical. Life just starts speeding up and you never have time to stop and think about where you are and what your priorities are.
“Well, the merry-go-round was going around pretty fast for me,” he added. “But all of a sudden, it stopped.”
Another factor, he said, in his personal recuperation was his reconnection with his faith. It’s a major theme throughout his book.
“When you lose your reputation, it frees you up in a way that you don’t have to worry about how everybody is thinking about you every second of the day,” Jetton said. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. I did these certain actions and it led to these problems that led to my destruction. Well, do I want to keep doing that?”
Jetton eventually got his professional career back on track as his legal woes dissipated. He didn’t, for instance, face federal charges due to statute of limitation issues. The felony assault case was resolved when he pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge in 2011.
Even though the case is settled, Jetton said, it still has a lingering impact.
“I know in my life before my troubles, if I read something about somebody like that, I would believe that they did it,” Jetton said. “And if they got off, I would have talked about how they just manipulated the political system. It wouldn’t be a hard case to explain that a powerful, former speaker manipulated the judicial system to get a great deal. So, I’m quite confident that most people – especially if they don’t know me or the situation – are going to say ‘that’s just another crooked politician getting off.’”
Is it worth it?
After reading Jetton’s book, I was left wondering if being a part of the Missouri General Assembly is worth it
Sure, state representatives and senators have the power to make public policy changes. And there is a level of prestige and public service that comes with the job. But is a part-time job that pays roughly $35,000 a year really worth pursuing if it can lead to losing your family, decimating your livelihood and compromising your values? It doesn’t seem like a good trade-off.
I asked Jetton if he would have been better off if he had decided not to run for the state legislature in 2000. He said, hypothetically, he might have been able to make more money in the private sector and spend less time away from his family.
“But that being said, you can’t go back. You can’t change,” said Jetton, adding that he was responsible for his actions — not the office.
That brings about another question: Does the culture of Jefferson City cause morally-upright people to change? Or do the financial and time commitment barriers of entry compel worthy people not to pursue state legislative offices?
George Connor, a political science professor at Missouri State University, said that both Jefferson City’s culture and the nature of term limits plays a role.
“Somebody like Jetton, as a number of other people in politics, has an enormous well of ambition. And if you make that ambition a priority over family and other kinds of things, the opportunity is there to mess you up real good.” — University of Missouri-St. Louis professor Dave Robertson
He said the “loose relationships” between legislators and interest groups provides “opportunities for individual to make bad decisions.”
“It’s a free-for-all,” Connor said. “It’s a little bit like the Wild West with respect to campaign funding. It’s like the Wild West with respect to lobbyist gifts. We’re one of the least regulated states with respect to the relationship between lobbyists and legislators.”
UMSL’s Dave Robertson said different organizations have incentives that skew people’s behaviors. For legislators, the desire to raise money for office and to satisfy constituents “leads to a number of consequences that complicate the quest for a completely clean reputation.”
“I wouldn’t say that it changes the fundamental person as much as it gives them incentives to behave a lot differently and in a lot less appealing way,” Robertson said. “Somebody like Jetton, as a number of other people in politics, has an enormous well of ambition. And if you make that ambition a priority over family and other kinds of things, the opportunity is there to mess you up real good.”
To be sure, both Connor and Jetton said there are lawmakers who are able to enter and leave the legislature with their principles and reputation in tact. Still, Jetton does have a word of caution for relatively young political aspirants: It may be best to wait.
“Especially if you live far from Jefferson City, it just takes you away,” Jetton said. “And if you’re a young guy and you want to be a hard charger, you’re not just going to be able to go there and do a typical Monday through Thursday thing. You’re going to want to go to some events and do some extra stuff that makes you travel even more. I guess would say ‘think about this for sure and see if you’re a little older and the kids are gone.’
“But if you do it, I would give them a copy of the book and say, ‘Hey, I know you don’t think this can happen to you.’,” he added.
I just bought a book to read with my Rebecca.
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis.
As Paris Hilton would say, “That’s hot!”
Yeah, I know. When we met I never really saw a book like this as a future gift we could enjoy together. But check out the intro:
“Your life is addressing these questions to you: What has brought you to this place in your journey, this moment in your life?
What gods, what forces, what family, what social environment, has framed your reality, perhaps supported, perhaps constricted it? Whose life have you been living? Why, even when things are going well, do things not feel quite right?
Why does so much seem a disappointment, a betrayal, a bankruptcy of expectations?
Why do you believe that you have to hide so much, from others, from yourself? Why does life seem a script written elsewhere, and you barely consulted, if at all?
Why have you come to this book, or why has it come to you, now? Why does the idea of your soul trouble you, and feel familiar as a long lost companion? Is the life you are living too small for the soul’s desire?
Why is now the time, if ever it is to happen, for you to answer the summons of the soul, the invitation to the second, larger life?”
If you are in middle life, that is pretty hot–in its own way!
Paris Hilton notwithstanding.
Click here to review and purchase
The Recovering Politician Books is proud to publish its newest title, former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton, “Success Can Kill You: One Man’s Story of Success, Failure, Faith and Forgiveness.”
The book targeted to driven leaders, and points out how pride, flattery, bitterness and paranoia can have terrible consequences for those in charge of large organizations. Using personal examples, Rod warns readers about the dangers of letting success go to their heads. The book chronicles Rod’s meteoric rise from a young Marine officer to the second youngest House Speaker in Missouri state history. His political success made him a powerful force in the Republican Party and he was on the fast track to becoming Governor of Missouri, when his personal life exploded in a very public and humiliating fall.
On December 7, 2009, he was arrested for felony assault after a one-night stand with a woman he connected with on Facebook. Soon after that, he received a call from a former girlfriend telling him she was pregnant and he was going to be a father at the age of 42. Then, just a few weeks later, Rod found out he was the target of a grand jury investigation from his handling of a bill when he was Speaker of the Missouri House. Rod’s candid way of explaining his mistakes and pointing out the dangers of putting his career in front of his faith and family will be of great benefit to politicians, businessmen, church leaders and corporate executives focused on accomplishing their goals.
Click here to review and purchase.
Here’s an exclusive excerpt:
“Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” – Galatians 6:7
My bitterness and fighting had made me many political enemies across the state. Those enemies did everything they could to make sure the assault charges ended my political career. Over the last few years, I have had many supporters tell me I was set up by my political opponents. Let me set the record straight: I was not set up by anybody. I arranged to meet this lady on my own, and she was not part of any plan to get me. It is solely my fault and my responsibility.
But once my political opponents learned about the accusation, they took the information and did everything they could to make sure there was an investigation resulting in criminal charges. They used their political power to see me hang…however, I walked to the scaffold, gave them the rope, tied the knot, and put it around my own neck. Had I been in their shoes, I’m sure I would have done the same thing to them.
I remember talking to my good friend, Shannon Cooper, right after my arrest. In an effort to cheer me up he said, “Well Rod, at least things can only get better. You’re at rock bottom now, and the only way out is up.” While it did seem like my life had hit rock bottom, things were about to get a lot worse.
Two weeks after my arrest I was contacted by a lady I had dated that fall and was given some very sobering news. She told me she was pregnant and that I was going to be a daddy. Wow, that was a big news flash. My son was sixteen at the time and there I was at 42, about to be a new father.
To complicate the situation even more, she was still married. She was separated and in the process of getting a divorce when we started dating. Missouri law prohibits anyone who is pregnant from getting a divorce. They require that the parties wait until the child is born to do a DNA test to determine who the father is for child support reasons.
This woman came from a good Catholic family, and as you can imagine they were furious with both of us. The only thing they knew about me was what they saw on TV, which was not good. Her divorce, pregnancy and relationship with me were an embarrassment for them, and the whole complicated mess was like something on a soap opera.
For me, it meant another serious talk with my family. I will never forget telling my parents. When my mother heard the news, she gasped like someone had punched her in the gut. I could see the deep disillusionment in her eyes, but there was nothing I could do. What made it even worse for me was the realization that I was causing the woman who had done nothing but love and pray for me my whole life pain.
Once again my children were very kind and supportive. There are just no words to adequately describe how difficult it was to tell my two daughters and teenage son even more details about my whoring around. They were going to have a new sister or brother from someone they really didn’t even know, who was still married to another man.
That was one very rough Christmas. I was so thankful for God’s forgiveness and so appreciative of my family and friends, but everything else was a total and complete mess. I didn’t know what to do about my girlfriend and the arriving baby. She didn’t have any place to live so I rented her an apartment to live in and took care of her medical bills. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes, so I made plans to marry her once the baby was born. She was a very nice lady, and I felt responsible to her and the child, but I was adamant on us living apart and not having sex until we were married. By then, I was scared to death of breaking any more of God’s commandments.
Right after Christmas, I received more bad news. An old friend called to advise me of a federal grand jury investigation surrounding my handling of a bill regulating Missouri strip clubs during the 2005 legislative session. Over the years, many of my opponents had accused me of misconduct concerning this bill, but nothing had ever come of it. That fall a rumor about a new investigation had resurfaced, and my friend called to inform me that the FBI was moving forward with it.
I called my attorney who was helping me with the assault case, but he said he was not qualified to handle a federal case. He agreed to call the investigators and check on the situation. Later that week, he confirmed they were investigating the issue and two weeks after that I received a letter in the mail notifying me that I was the target of a federal grand jury investigation. The letter referenced several legal definitions of crimes they were looking into, but it all boiled down to bribery. The letter stated these charges could result in 20-25 years of prison time.
The accusation was that I took a $35,000 donation and promised to kill a bill regulating strip clubs in Missouri. I had been against the bill because it included a tax on strip clubs that I didn’t agree with, and the language regulating private businesses seemed unconstitutional to me. I had never been to a strip club and wasn’t trying to support them, but my disagreement with the language and my animosity toward Sen. Matt Bartle, the bill’s sponsor, were the reasons for my opposition.
Read the rest of…
EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT: Rod Jetton’s “Success Can Kill You”
Click here to purchase his first book
Because my first book, Musings from the Middle, was such an unqualified non-disaster, I’ve decided to offer a follow-up book in late May titled–surprisingly–Musings from the Middle II (or possibly Musings from the Middle 2….or maybe just “More Musings from the Middle” or perhaps “A Tale of Two Cities,” unless that one is already taken)
Anyway, I hope sales break into the low three digits like my first book.
Which is the cool thing about being a self-published author. Even if other people aren’t really excited about you publishing a new book, you still can be. Like I am right now.
Here’s the opening Musing from Musings II:
“It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair
But mostly, it just is what it is”
OK. That’s not really one of my musings. I stole most of it and just added the last line myself and hoped no one would notice.
I checked to see if the title “A Tale of Two Cities” was still available, and of course with my luck, it’s not! But it turns out to have a pretty catchy beginning that I tried to crib but felt guilty about and am coming clean now.
But my new book will be all mine with lots of lines like the last one I added to A Tale of Two Cities introduction–that will reinforce this new book’s place among other self-published books that are deemed true non-disasters.
When I am trying to express myself but can’t find the words I need it usually isn’t because there aren’t enough words to go with my thought. But rather because I don’t have enough of a thought developed for any words to attach to.
Being articulate, it seems to me, isn’t so much about knowing lots of words as it is about thinking clearer thoughts. And then the words will fall into place….rather than forcing words around an incomplete idea until it sounds like you understand something you really don’t.
Thomas the Teenage Engine
I miss Thomas the Engine. Not personally. But as a parent.
I wish there were a Thomas the Engine for teenagers to help parents teach teens important life lessons.
Just not sure how to make an animated series about locomotives teen-friendly.
I feel a lot… like
A spinning top
Before it hops
And starts to flop
Careening to its final stop.
My grandfather Brown’s favorite poem was “If” by Rudyard Kipling.
He memorized it and quoted from it often, especially when encouraging someone to seek wisdom and perspective in the midst of a difficult situation.
When I turned 13 my father gave me a framed copy of the poem for my birthday present. Like most boys on their 13th birthday, a framed copy of the poem “If” wasn’t what I was hoping for…. But I’m glad now I got it –and
I still have it. I hung it in my bedroom through high school and college and as an adult hung the poem in my office.
When my son was about 13, I gave it to him and it is now hanging in his bedroom. It’s a pretty good poem. With some excellent life advice:
IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!
I am proud to announce the latest entry in the growing library of The Recovering Politician Books: Josh Bowen’s “Twelve Steps to Fitness Freedom.” A longtime Friend of RP and contributor to The Recovering Politician, Josh was recently named by Life Fitness one of the top ten personal trainers to watch in the world.
While I have the opportunity to work out with him twice a week, you can now glean all of his wisdom in less than 200 pages. If you are like me and have made a New Year’s resolution to get it better shape, there is no better way to fulfill it than to follow Josh’s advice.
Here is an excerpt from my Foreword.
Click here to review and purchase
I can imagine one of your first questions when reviewing this book jacket was: “What in the %$#&*$ is a ‘recovering politician’ doing publishing a book about fitness and physical well-being?”
Well, from a thematic standpoint, Josh Bowen’s ‘Twelve Steps To Fitness Freedom’ fits well into the mission of our Web site, TheRecoveringPolitician.com: As our former politician contributors proceed on their own post-politics second acts, we aim to empower all of our readers to launch their own second acts, with the whole toolkit of good health, high quality of life, and overall happiness. It’s no wonder, then, that Josh Bowen’s Thursday columns at our Web site are among the most viewed by our readership.
But from a more prosaic perspective, this particular recovering politician would have never made it into his second act if it were not for Josh Bowen. When we first met about a decade ago, I had an upper back pain problem that nothing could resolve – I tried massage, reiki, energy healing, chiropractic treatment, acupuncture, you name it. So when I walked in my local gym and met a buff, tattooed physical trainer, you can imagine that I was initially skeptical. But after several months of strength training, Josh’s instruction was invaluable, and I have never since suffered that pain.
Fast-forward several years, and this middle-aged mess developed a new lower back disc issue. But of course that wasn’t all; my 40s had been plagued with all of the typical issues of my age group: low energy, less stamina, and that infamous flat tire of belly fat. A decade wiser, Josh prescribed a holistic program for me, including diet, supplements, and of course, his carefully monitored strength-training program.
Through his wealth of experiences travelling the country training physical trainers, and his voracious reading of all of the latest scientific and physiological studies, Josh Bowen is as good as it gets in helping his clients reach their fitness, health and wellness goals. I know I couldn’t have done it without him, and I expect that you will find invaluable advice in the pages that follow.
Josh Bowen’s careful instruction and deep personal concern for his clients has worked for me. And I bet this book will work for you as well. So that’s why this recovering politician has published this important book. Proudly. Enjoy.
Click here to purchase his first book
My second book and the fear of too much success.
I almost have enough new posts to put out a second book of Musings from the Middle before Christmas. But am not sure I have the time to risk having a blockbuster best seller.
It made me think of the time as a teenager I was shooting craps with friends and had failed to roll a pass for 10 consecutive rolls.
My logic before doubling down my bet for the 11th roll was “Since I had failed to roll a pass 10 times in a row I had much greater than usual odds to succeed on my 11th roll.” But I didn’t and lost my last dollar.
Later a math teacher explained to ne that if I flipped a coin 10 times in a row and it was heads each time on the 11th flip it would still only be a 50-50 chance of it being tails. I never liked that math teacher and always thought he was overly pessimistic about life.
So since my first book only has sold in the very high two digits (almost low three digits) and is ranked, like, two trillionth in sales rank on Amazon.com my old logic is returning and telling me if the first book was a complete sales failure the chances of a second book being a great success is pretty much guaranteed. At least if you look at the numbers, understand my logic, and have an optimistic mathematical view of the world, unlike my former math teacher.
Sometimes you just have to go for it and take the risk in life even when logic dictates you won’t have the time to handle your overehelming success. Just do it anyway and figure it out later.
And besides, what’s the worst that can happen? Sales jn the high two digits again? Heck, that would only means a third book would likely be a sure NY Times best seller.