By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 10, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Parking lot logic.
It is great to wake up on the right side of the bed. To feel like this is your day. To have your mind clicking; memory fired. To have one of those days when you feel it is all coming together.
Yet no day, no feeling, no waking up on the right side of the bed can compete with the sense of supreme invincibility ine gets when driving into a crowded parking lot and instantly finding a good parking place.
 Sure there are moments that I feel I am up to the task….but let me quickly find a good parking spot in a crowded parking lot and I am ready to take on all comers.
What the heck is up with that?
Especially since I woke up feeling good about myself today but can’t catch a break parking today.
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Sep 10, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
There’s a story in my parents’ marriage. Long ago, before I was born, my mom once asked my Dad “Do I look fat in this?” He answered honestly. Once. So it begs the question- is talking about a woman’s weight (or a man’s for that matter) fair game in a relationship? We all know guys are very visual. And probably the #1 fear that most guys have (even though conventional wisdom says it’s “snakes”) is that their girlfriend, or wife, will get fat. Is this fair? Is this superficial? Is this misogynist? Maybe all three, but it is what it is. If he is stifled from talking about it, it only makes things worse.
I have been a dating coach for over 10 years, talking about women’s sex lives and dating lives and everything in between. You would think that I have dealt with the most personal topics you can imagine. But it wasn’t until this year, when I started dabbling in coaching on weight loss, that I really started to piss women off. Some actually quit just because I raised the topic. Is that fair? I don’t know. But I like to ask: “Do you want it to be fair or do you want to be happy?”
Let’s just say that you’re single and you’ve gained 10 lbs (which means 15 lbs in girl lbs.) Or that you are 10-15 lbs heavier than you’d like to be. What if I were to say that losing 15 lbs would dramatically increase the chance that you could get any guy that you want. Well, at least you could get to the 2nd date a lot better. Would you do it?
 On the flip side, maybe staying overweight is a way of ensuring that you won’t get what you want. Maybe the extra fat literally and figuratively keeps people further away. Maybe eating is a replacement for sex. Or for the vulnerability that you feel because you can’t control sex in the same way that you can control food.
Wait, this blog is getting too heavy- put it this way- doesn’t sex feel better when you’re skinny? Can you even have sex after a meal at Carmine’s? When you tell yourself “I want him to love me for me!,” is that just an excuse for being lazy?
Women’s commitment issues come out in the funniest ways. A guy who isn’t ready to settle down will generally just say “I’m not ready for a relationship.” Women will bury themselves in Ben & Jerry’s and wonder “Why doesn’t he call?” That’s still a commitment issue!
Read the rest of…
Nancy Slotnick: Do I Look Fat in this Blog?
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 9, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET A note on Twerking.
Twerking, a word I was unfamiliar with until last week, is now officially part of the Oxford English Dictionary.
OK. Fine. It’s now officially a word. But before you start to think Twerking is something worthy of a week near the top of the news, think about it this way.
What if you or someone you know well became an accomplished Twerker?
What if you or someone you know then became a very distinguished Twerker?
And then what if, after several more years of training and practice, you or someone you know became the Best Twerker in the World?
Then what?
Would it really have been worth it? Or would you have been better off…..I dunno….doing something, like, well, other than Twerking? Even if it isn’t a word in the Oxford English Dictionary.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Sep 6, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Yesterday’s –first day jogging. Good news; bad news.
Bad news first. Ran just under 1/8th of a mile before capitulating.
Good news.
All things considered, it was a brisk oace for the entire 1/8th of a mile…except for the last 10-12 feet.
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After yesterday’s Herculian workout, I feel am ready for the Tinsel Man Competition (Not to be confused with Iron Man).
Iron Man regime:
Run 26.2 miles
Bike 112 miles
Swim 2.4 miles
Tinsel Man regime:
Run 1/8th of a mile from house
Walk 1/8th of a mile back to house
Shoot 2 baskets on backyard basketball goal–one jump shot and one lay-up (before going inside and showering)
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 4, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Don’t blame the messenger.
Unless it is Stevie Wonder.
We hear that a lot. It means focus on the message rather than the messenger.
Someone may be relaying an unpopular message and shouldn’t get the blame.
But not always.
For example, when you are trying to resolve a problem and can’t reach compromise and someone tells you to just “Work it out.”
It’s good advice and we shouldn’t blame the messenger even though we will likely feel irritated at getting this advice.
BUT….But if we listen to Stevie Wonder singing about it….everything changes.
Suddenly working it out doesn’t sound like such a sacrifice and sounds like more of a celebration. And we want to actually work it out.
And we have Stevie Wonder, the messenger, not to blame but to thank.
At least that’s the way it works on me.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 3, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET You know how in business we love to use sports metaphors?
You know what I mean.
We are getting the deal “across the goal line” or go for a “Hail Mary pass” strategy since there are no “slam dunks.”
And so on.
I wonder if professional athletes use business slang to drive home their points when talking sports strategy?
For example, inside a football huddle is it likely the quarterback looks at the wide receiver and says “I am reaching out to you because I am calling our new out-of-the-box synergistic play that we have had in beta. On three, go long but stay on my radar screen until I am ready to ping you! If you score, you and I are going to haveot of face time externally and internally. Are you ready to move things to he next level?”
I hope not.
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Continuing with my business managers sometimes over use of sports analogies…..
In most every sport you have highlight reels that celebrate the most extraordinary plays of the season.
Don’t over think this. Just say the first examples that pop into your mind.
“Name the three greatest conference calls you have ever been on.”
If I am truly and brutally honest with myself I can only think of two—again showing the imperfect analogue between sports and business.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 2, 2013 at 12:20 PM ET Happy Labor Day to the 83% of the population who knows today is Labor Day.
Happy Memorial Day to the 15% who think it is Memorial Day.
And Happy Sunday to the 2% who believe today is Sunday.
By John Y. Brown III, on Sun Sep 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM ET I Have a Dream, Too (Albeit a tongue in cheek one. But it’s still worth dreaming about. Especially on Sunday mornings.)
50 years ago this week, the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr, gave his historic “I Have a Dream” speech which helped usher in the federal Civil Rights Act of 1964.
Was it enough? It was a start. And 50 years later we have made great progress toward racial equality. But there is still work to be done. Six days a week—Monday through Saturday—there are still inequalities between the races in terms jobs, pay, standard of living, and other economic and material measures. But fortunately, the gap is slowly closing.
But what about that seventh day, Sunday? Sure, whites continue to have it better the first six days of the week where work and material measures dominate. But on the seventh day, Sunday, blacks continue to have vastly superior church services than whites. In other words, in the spiritual realm, the gap between black and whites at church on Sunday mornings is as stark in 2013 as it was in 1963.
Dr King’s historic speech in 1963 was conspicuous in its absence about referencing lackluster white church services that Caucasians have been forced to endure for several centuries.
And so… 50 years after much of the economic racial divide is being closed, it is time for someone to raise the question about whether the spiritual racial divide will ever be bridged. After all, what is true color-blindness if any blind person can be escorted into a church and know instantly whether he or she is in a white or black church? Predominantly Black churches tend to have lots of energy and Spirit. Predominantly White churches tend to have lots of quiet orderliness and throat clearing —and people whispering, “Excuse me. What time is it, please?”
Worst of all, there are no historic laws or cultural prejudices that caused this disparity. There were no faux “separate but equal” laws that allowed black churches to be more alive and fun while white churches seemed dry and stodgy. That’s right. We weren’t even discriminated against. We white folks did this to ourselves.
Perhaps it’s time someone in my race stood up and said “Is this really the best we can do?” Or more to the point, “Will going to church for white folks ever look like it is as spiritual, as inspired, and as inspiring and as it is for our African-American brothers and sisters?”
Well?
May I get an Amen out there?
Unfortunately, no. Not if you are white. Because, like, “What would people say?” Right?
C’mon folks. Let’s dedicate ourselves to make white church the new black in 2013. White folks can dream, too, you know. And this is my dream as a way of celebrating and honoring the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s historic speech. And, with hope, closing the racial divide in America just a little bit more.
(Footnote: Of course, my church is the exception to all of this. But could still be a tad more soulful. With both a lower case and upper case “S” But I’m nitpicking. The only other exception is Lyle Lovett. (See below.) Perhaps Lyle Lovett can lead us from the low-lying foothills of churchiness to the inspired mountain top of the fully engaged church services of the Promised Land. And without programs to pass out. Anyway, that’s my dream.)
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Aug 30, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET How numbers lie!
My book Musings from the Middle is currently ranked as the 865,544th best-selling book on Amazon.com.
To someone who didn’t know better, they may think, “Wow, John. That’s not very good.”
And that would be understandable…. But wrong.
Why?
 Click here to purchase Because numbers lie and the number (or ranking) 865,544th is compared to “all” books currently selling on Amazon.com.
That includes every genre fiction, non-fiction, sports, biography, crime, history, religion, comic, fix it, nature and so on and so on.
In the important and more appropriate category (or genre) for me, “Books published in July of this year in the non-fiction, human interest and humor categories that starts with the letter “M” and ends in the letter “E” and is written by a self-published author from Louisville, KY” well, let’s just say, my book would then rank in the Top Ten.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Aug 28, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
“As a man thinketh in his heart –so is he. ” –Proverbs
Of course, we try to fill our minds with lofty, visionary and aspirational thoughts that lead both to self improvement and a better world.
But what does a man (or woman) really and truly thinketh in the course of a day? If you really want to know look at your internet search history. Mine over the last two days includes:
- Looking for the actual name of a restaurant in Louisville I had forgotten but had the word “pig” in it.
- Ebay and charging cables for my cell phone
- Looking up the definition and history of the word “Nimrod” which came to me out of the blue and I wanted to make sure if I ever used the term I would use it correctly
- Terry Meiners Twitter account because I heard he tweeted a funny Sigmund Freud quote yesterday about assholes.
- Whether it was “John” or “David” Hume after my son made a joking reference about the English philosopher and I couldn’t remember his first name. (It’s David Hume and John Locke).
- The number of calories in a pineapple curry dish that I like a lot from Viet Nam kitchen.
- The lowest BMI number for my height for “obesity.”
- Googled myself and my book to see if anyone had written a review on Amazon.com. They hadn’t.
- Pictures on Facebook of some of the students in my daughter’s sophomore class. And to see if the boys were bigger than me yet. (Only taller)
- Looked up “How to meditate” without wasting a lot of time. And if meditation can improve circulation. (Open to debate.)
- Zillow to see if the estimated value of our house had gone ip enough to refinance and borrow a little more. (It handn’t)
- Googled myself and my book to see if there were any new reviews on Amazon.com. (There weren’t.) Thought about increasing my own review of the book from 4 starts to 5 starts but couldn’t find out how to edit my review.
- Dates of Kentucky’s special legislative session.
- Checked if the classic rock group Traffic was touring through Louisville this year. (Steve Winwood is but didn’t buy ticket and may not if Winwood is by himself.
- Confirmed exact definition of Nimrod since I was having trouble remembering it from earlier in the day.
And so…..as Proverbs teaches us, more or less……”As a man searcheth the internet–so is he.”
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