By Rod Jetton, on Mon May 5, 2014 at 1:30 PM ET From St. Louis Public Radio:
 Rod Jetton was once the most powerful lawmaker in Missouri.
As speaker of the Missouri House, he had the power to exalt or kill any bill that flowed through the General Assembly. From all appearances, he had a bright political future.
Behind the scenes, however, Jetton was on a course for self-destruction.
By the time he left office, the FBI was investigating him for bribery. He was facing serious jail time after being accused of felony assault. Just months after being one of the most powerful men in Missouri politics, Jetton was broke and without a job.
Jetton’s life has stabilized in recent years. He decided to recount his downfall in the book Success Can Kill You, which was released a few weeks ago. He said he hopes it serves as a warning to those entering the political world.
“I thought this might be something that would hopefully help somebody say, ‘I need to pay a little bit more attention to this. I need to be careful. I don’t want to make those mistakes that Rod made,’” Jetton said in a telephone interview. “You know, maybe be a warning to people: Don’t make these mistakes.”
Jetton has talked about his tribulations before through essays on the Recovering Politician website. But the book offers new insight into how misplaced priorities, flattery and bitterness can seriously backfire.
Dave Robertson, a political science professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, said Jetton’s story showcases how the pressures of politics and legislative duties can impact people. He said others could learn a lot from his story.
“It’s Shakespearean,” Robertson said. “You put some character in a situation where their weaknesses are going to be accentuated, and the deterioration is going to be accelerated. They’re going to go downhill in a pretty dramatic way.”
At this velocity
Jetton’s rise in Missouri politics was rapid. In just four years, he went from being an inexperienced backbencher in the Republican minority to the most powerful legislator in the state.
As speaker of the House from 2005 to 2009, there’s little debate that Jetton’s tenure was fruitful from a policy perspective. Many longtime Republican priorities were passed into law. But Jetton’s efforts to grow the GOP majority and climb the leadership ladder took its toll.
He detailed in his book how fights within his caucus made him vindictive and eager to prove that he was “the man.” That included stripping then-House Budget Chairman Brad Lager, R-Savannah, of his post; removing then-Rep. Scott Lipke, R-Scott County, as chairman of a public safety-related committee and making sure none of then-Sen. Matt Bartle’s legislation ended up passing the House.
“I used to think before I got into politics that it was the king of the mountain. That we were fighting the Democrats to get to the top and rule the world,” Jetton said. “And then you start learning that there’s two mountains. You’ve got a Republican mountain and the Democratic mountain. And the fight to get to the top of your own mountain is so much worse than I ever dreamed.
“When you’re speaker, you have the stroke to step up and throw down,” he added. “And the pride that went with it started making me do that more and more. Which led to more conflict.”
All the while, Jetton was spending long stretches of time away from his wife and children, which eventually led to his 2009 divorce. He had begun drinking more and more – even though he had sworn off alcohol after issues with the substance as a youth. And he became disconnected with his religious faith.
“It’s probably the most embarrassing thing about the story for me. I know that I let that stuff change the person I was,” Jetton said. “My priorities, my values, my focus – it all started changing a little bit. I think it’s a combination of the personal pride a person has and the flattery that they receive.”
After term limits forced him to leave office in 2009, Jetton transitioned into political consulting. But that would be upended in spectacular fashion.
Near the end of 2009, Jetton was charged with felony assault. The startling details within the probable cause statement prompted the national headlines. He was accused of hitting and choking a woman during a sexual encounter. Soon after the news broke, Jetton shut down his lucrative consulting business.
“There was no blaming anybody. As much as I don’t really want to relive all of that, at the same time, that brought me to my knees and I finally said, ‘OK, I’ve got to straighten myself out and get back to where I need to be.’,” Jetton said. “Without that happening, I don’t know if I would have done that.”
Jetton was also the target in a federal grand jury investigation into whether campaign contributions played a role in killing one of Matt Bartle’s bills regulating strip clubs. In both cases, Jetton was facing significant jail time.
The lessons of hitting bottom
One key element of the book is how his December 2009 arrest prompted him to reevaluate his priorities. He had the time, as he was unemployed, financially ruined and living in a friend’s basement. Things were so bad, he said, that he couldn’t get a job as a salesman at Sears.
“I was isolated and my world was over,” Jetton said. “Now, as bad as that was, there was a benefit to it that I’m thankful for. Most of our lives are so busy and hectic that we don’t ever have an opportunity to stop and think or, like the professors, take a sabbatical. Life just starts speeding up and you never have time to stop and think about where you are and what your priorities are.
“Well, the merry-go-round was going around pretty fast for me,” he added. “But all of a sudden, it stopped.”
Another factor, he said, in his personal recuperation was his reconnection with his faith. It’s a major theme throughout his book.
“When you lose your reputation, it frees you up in a way that you don’t have to worry about how everybody is thinking about you every second of the day,” Jetton said. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. I did these certain actions and it led to these problems that led to my destruction. Well, do I want to keep doing that?”
Jetton eventually got his professional career back on track as his legal woes dissipated. He didn’t, for instance, face federal charges due to statute of limitation issues. The felony assault case was resolved when he pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge in 2011.
Even though the case is settled, Jetton said, it still has a lingering impact.
“I know in my life before my troubles, if I read something about somebody like that, I would believe that they did it,” Jetton said. “And if they got off, I would have talked about how they just manipulated the political system. It wouldn’t be a hard case to explain that a powerful, former speaker manipulated the judicial system to get a great deal. So, I’m quite confident that most people – especially if they don’t know me or the situation – are going to say ‘that’s just another crooked politician getting off.’”
Is it worth it?
After reading Jetton’s book, I was left wondering if being a part of the Missouri General Assembly is worth it
Sure, state representatives and senators have the power to make public policy changes. And there is a level of prestige and public service that comes with the job. But is a part-time job that pays roughly $35,000 a year really worth pursuing if it can lead to losing your family, decimating your livelihood and compromising your values? It doesn’t seem like a good trade-off.
I asked Jetton if he would have been better off if he had decided not to run for the state legislature in 2000. He said, hypothetically, he might have been able to make more money in the private sector and spend less time away from his family.
“But that being said, you can’t go back. You can’t change,” said Jetton, adding that he was responsible for his actions — not the office.
That brings about another question: Does the culture of Jefferson City cause morally-upright people to change? Or do the financial and time commitment barriers of entry compel worthy people not to pursue state legislative offices?
George Connor, a political science professor at Missouri State University, said that both Jefferson City’s culture and the nature of term limits plays a role.
“Somebody like Jetton, as a number of other people in politics, has an enormous well of ambition. And if you make that ambition a priority over family and other kinds of things, the opportunity is there to mess you up real good.” — University of Missouri-St. Louis professor Dave Robertson
He said the “loose relationships” between legislators and interest groups provides “opportunities for individual to make bad decisions.”
“It’s a free-for-all,” Connor said. “It’s a little bit like the Wild West with respect to campaign funding. It’s like the Wild West with respect to lobbyist gifts. We’re one of the least regulated states with respect to the relationship between lobbyists and legislators.”
UMSL’s Dave Robertson said different organizations have incentives that skew people’s behaviors. For legislators, the desire to raise money for office and to satisfy constituents “leads to a number of consequences that complicate the quest for a completely clean reputation.”
“I wouldn’t say that it changes the fundamental person as much as it gives them incentives to behave a lot differently and in a lot less appealing way,” Robertson said. “Somebody like Jetton, as a number of other people in politics, has an enormous well of ambition. And if you make that ambition a priority over family and other kinds of things, the opportunity is there to mess you up real good.”
To be sure, both Connor and Jetton said there are lawmakers who are able to enter and leave the legislature with their principles and reputation in tact. Still, Jetton does have a word of caution for relatively young political aspirants: It may be best to wait.
“Especially if you live far from Jefferson City, it just takes you away,” Jetton said. “And if you’re a young guy and you want to be a hard charger, you’re not just going to be able to go there and do a typical Monday through Thursday thing. You’re going to want to go to some events and do some extra stuff that makes you travel even more. I guess would say ‘think about this for sure and see if you’re a little older and the kids are gone.’
“But if you do it, I would give them a copy of the book and say, ‘Hey, I know you don’t think this can happen to you.’,” he added.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon May 5, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Not being ready to hear something doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Yesterday I was talking to a counselor friend and we got on the subject of “next phases” in life.
I mentioned my kids had just turned 16 and 20 and I missed the feeling in our family of being “captain of our team” –and lately felt more like I had been relegated to the position of third base coach whose only role was making odd scratching and touching signs that looked like early onset of dementia to observers.
I was laughing because I was exaggerating. Until my
friend pointed out that I was exactly right —and then reassured me by describing the occasional important role that a third base or first base coach can play.
But that wasn’t what I was expecting or ready to hear.
There was a long silent pause.
As I waited for my friend to tell me he was just kidding, he was simultaneously waiting for me to let this painful truth to sink in.
Then I interjected my conclusion. “No. Uh-uh. No…That’s not what is happening in my situation. That’s not really what I am talking about.”
Before adding, “I am talking about players that go through a bad season or two before they make a big comeback.”
Then there was another long pause.
This time I didn’t say anything. I just pretended to slide my fingers across the bill of my cap, touched my chest, tapped my nose and winked.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri May 2, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET 
Late night conversations with my wife.
I am restless and up and my wife Rebecca is half asleep and trying to go completely to sleep.
Me: “Hey honey. Want me to make some tea and we can talk?”
Rebecca: “No. I don’t want any tea.”
Me: “But you want to talk?”
Rebecca: “You can talk. I am not going to respond, though.”
Me: (after a pause) “Ok. What would you like to talk about?”
Rebecca: (no answer)
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu May 1, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Car talk is different than other conversations. Both the driver and passenger are looking forward and not at each other. Mostly anyway.
It’s not as intimate and more informational.
And both passenger and driver are captives in any conversation.
Earlier today I was stuck in traffic across from a couple about my age. The man was driving and had a grayin…g beard and glasses that somehow seemed fogged.
The woman also wore glasses but had holders on hers so they wouldn’t fly off. She waved her hands animatedly when talking and seemed either to be describing something important to her or venting about something that frustrated her.
The man was basically motionless and emotionless. He preteded to be watching the traffic and concentrating on driving but we were stuck at a standstill in traffic and there was nothing for him to do except listen. But he seemed mostly to be pretending to listen. He wanted her to think he was listening but also wanted her to suspect he may not be listening.
It was his way of communucating that although he cared about what she was saying, he didn’t care that much– and thought she was probably over reacting. She seemed to be getting more dramatic and demonstrative the more he seemed only to be pretending to listen. It was her way of saying, “What I am saying is actually a lot more important than you think it is and you would understand that if you would listen closer to what I am saying.”
As they both kept starring ahead out the windshield.
Then the traffic cleared. And we drove on.
But I suspect their conversation continued.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Apr 30, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET My beautiful wife and some shmo Romantics and realists (and silly young couple arguments).
My son Johnny was talking to my wife and I last week and reminded me that I once described myself to him as a “romantic” and my wife, Rebecca, as a “realist” and wanted to know what I meant by that.
I knew exactly the story he was talking about and I told him that I thought the story depicted well the difference in what it means to be a romantic versus being a realist.
After my wife and I had been dating for several months we started to discuss the possibility of marriage. We were in our 20’s and weren’t engaged yet but felt we soon would be and were talking one night at dinner about our love for one another. It was our conversational version of Billy Joel’s song, “I love you just the way you are.” “Would you still love me if I flunked out of law school?” I asked. “Of course I would” Rebecca reassured me.
But during the course of this otherwise sweet conversation I decided to push the envelope a little too far. I asked Rebecca a hypothetical question. “Let’s say that instead of going to law school I drove a taxi and never went to college and had no plans of ever going to college, would you still love me and want to marry me anyway?”
Rebecca looked puzzled at me as she thought about my question. “I’m not so sure about that one.” She said. “I doubt I would want to marry you if you were that different.”
I was floored! I reasoned defensively, “I would still be me …the same person I am right now. You know? But born into a different economic circumstance and with a different job and background. That’s all.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sure you’d be sweet and I would maybe date you but I don’t think I would be able to marry you,” Rebecca tried to explain. “In my family, college is just very important and I don’t think it would occur to me to marry you if you weren’t ever going to go to college.”
“Really? You wouldn’t marry me if I drove a taxi and never planned on going to college?” I said woundedly. So I tried to change the hypothetical. “OK. What if I drove a taxi, hadn’t gone to college but was considering going to college? Would you marry me then?”
Rebecca said, “That’s not a fair question.” “So you are saying ‘no?’ I interjected. “I guess so,” Rebecca said. But added, “It’s not fair to ask that and it doesn’t make me shallow for saying I wouldn’t marry you if you were that different. It’s like me asking you if you’d marry me if I was grotesquely overweight right now. I don’t think you would.”
“That’s different.” I said. “That’s something about you personally that would be different. In my hypothetical I would be the exact same person I am now– just born into a different environment.”
“I don’t think there’s a difference.” Rebecca said.
“Of course there’s a difference,” I said.
“Well, if there wasn’t a difference in our questions, would you marry me if I were really, really overweight?” Rebecca asked again.
“I would,” I said. “Even though it is different.”
“No you wouldn’t” Rebecca snapped.
“I would for sure if you were up to…maybe…say just 40 pounds overweight”
“See!” Rebecca exclaimed. “But not if I were 60 pounds overweight?”
“No, I would marry you if you were 60 pounds overweight right now –assuming you wanted eventually to get in better shape.”
“Well, then, if you drove a taxi and hadn’t gone to college but eventually wanted to go to college –and maybe even graduate school– I would probably marry you.”
“Probably?” I queried.
“Yeah. OK. I would marry you. But only after you finished college.” Rebecca explained.
“Well, I would marry you if you were 60 pounds overweight and wanted eventually to get into shape –but I wouldn’t make you wait until you got in better shape before I would marry you.” I said dejectedly. “We’re just different, I guess. I must be more of a romantic than you are.”
And that is, I suppose, the difference between a romantic and a realist. The romantic is always prouder of his hypothetical position, his hypothetical zest and his hypothetical passion. But a little sad that it isn’t fully reciprocated by the more sensible among us. Who romantics seem inevitably to find and marry. And these realists seem to find a satisfactory amount of admirable real qualities in the romantics they marry. But the romantic feels their spouse—by focusing on only their existing and actual qualities—is missing out on the hypothetical qualities the romantic admires most. But because the realist overlooks the romantic’s hypothetical qualities, and because the romantic overlooks the realist’s actual qualities, they can somehow make it all work. And Lord knows they need each other. But as to who needs the other more? That is a whole different argument. But sounds a lot like the one above.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Apr 29, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  I just bought a book to read with my Rebecca.
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis.
As Paris Hilton would say, “That’s hot!”
Yeah, I know. When we met I never really saw a book like this as a future gift we could enjoy together. But check out the intro:
“Your life is addressing these questions to you: What has brought you to this place in your journey, this moment in your life?
What gods, what forces, what family, what social environment, has framed your reality, perhaps supported, perhaps constricted it? Whose life have you been living? Why, even when things are going well, do things not feel quite right?
Why does so much seem a disappointment, a betrayal, a bankruptcy of expectations?
Why do you believe that you have to hide so much, from others, from yourself? Why does life seem a script written elsewhere, and you barely consulted, if at all?
Why have you come to this book, or why has it come to you, now? Why does the idea of your soul trouble you, and feel familiar as a long lost companion? Is the life you are living too small for the soul’s desire?
Why is now the time, if ever it is to happen, for you to answer the summons of the soul, the invitation to the second, larger life?”
If you are in middle life, that is pretty hot–in its own way!
Paris Hilton notwithstanding.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Apr 28, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Navigating life…
The problem with taking the high road is that it never feels like a shortcut–and it isn’t supposed to.
But if you are running late and in a hurry or bad with directions and get lost easily, it is tempting to avoid the high road and take the low road instead.
But it’s always best to take the high road anyway. It’s the right thing to do and sometimes even faster.
The low road only seems faster –but rarely is. And the traffic is always horrendous because so many others assume its the fastest route.
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Thought for the day…
It’s almost May and has been muggy hot for the last week yet it snowed last night.
And you worry about seeming weird or inconsistent to other people? Get over yourself. It’s just the way things are.
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Illist (Definition) Something is the best,the coolist, the illist example: Coconut soup at Kashmir restautant in Bardstown Road.
Usage: “D*mn, that coconut soup is the illist.”
Just remember the next time you want to sound younger and cooler than you really are …that you will never be too old to humiliate yourself.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Apr 25, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Today at Starbucks, which I go to because of proximity, I walked in and ordered a Very Berry Coffee Cake and before I could order my coffee the barista said, “You get bold roast, right?” Feeling proud that this morning I must have that “bold roast kinda guy” look, I tried to deepen my voice a little and said, “Yes, please.”
All was going well until I got into my car and… saw that there was nothing “very berry” about my coffee cake. In fact, it was offensively barren of berries. I couldn’t help but take it personally. I was one of the first customers this morning and saw other Very Berry coffee cakes –and Bountiful Blueberry muffins– in the case that had many more berries than the slice I got.
I thought about going back in and –assertively but not aggressively–asking for a different piece that was more “very berry.” But then I worried if I walked back in to complain about not having enough berries in my Very Berry coffee cake the barista might rethink his view of me as a “bold roast kinda guy” — and think I was more of a “mild roast” type.
I decided it was better to be viewed as masculine and be non-assertive (and have fewer berries in my coffee cake) than to be viewed as milquetoast and be assertive (and get a piece of coffee cake that lives up to its Very Berry name).
Tomorrow I am going to Heine Bros. a few miles farther away. I don’t face these challenges to my masculinity when I order things there. Most of their baked goods are unisex. And it’s safer to be a “mild roast kinda guy” there without feeling self- conscious–which is what I really am anyway.
By Rod Jetton, on Thu Apr 24, 2014 at 12:05 PM ET  Click here to review and purchase The Recovering Politician Books is proud to publish its newest title, former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton, “Success Can Kill You: One Man’s Story of Success, Failure, Faith and Forgiveness.”
The book targeted to driven leaders, and points out how pride, flattery, bitterness and paranoia can have terrible consequences for those in charge of large organizations. Using personal examples, Rod warns readers about the dangers of letting success go to their heads. The book chronicles Rod’s meteoric rise from a young Marine officer to the second youngest House Speaker in Missouri state history. His political success made him a powerful force in the Republican Party and he was on the fast track to becoming Governor of Missouri, when his personal life exploded in a very public and humiliating fall.
On December 7, 2009, he was arrested for felony assault after a one-night stand with a woman he connected with on Facebook. Soon after that, he received a call from a former girlfriend telling him she was pregnant and he was going to be a father at the age of 42. Then, just a few weeks later, Rod found out he was the target of a grand jury investigation from his handling of a bill when he was Speaker of the Missouri House. Rod’s candid way of explaining his mistakes and pointing out the dangers of putting his career in front of his faith and family will be of great benefit to politicians, businessmen, church leaders and corporate executives focused on accomplishing their goals.
Click here to review and purchase.
Here’s an exclusive excerpt:
“Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” – Galatians 6:7
My bitterness and fighting had made me many political enemies across the state. Those enemies did everything they could to make sure the assault charges ended my political career. Over the last few years, I have had many supporters tell me I was set up by my political opponents. Let me set the record straight: I was not set up by anybody. I arranged to meet this lady on my own, and she was not part of any plan to get me. It is solely my fault and my responsibility.
But once my political opponents learned about the accusation, they took the information and did everything they could to make sure there was an investigation resulting in criminal charges. They used their political power to see me hang…however, I walked to the scaffold, gave them the rope, tied the knot, and put it around my own neck. Had I been in their shoes, I’m sure I would have done the same thing to them.
I remember talking to my good friend, Shannon Cooper, right after my arrest. In an effort to cheer me up he said, “Well Rod, at least things can only get better. You’re at rock bottom now, and the only way out is up.” While it did seem like my life had hit rock bottom, things were about to get a lot worse.
Two weeks after my arrest I was contacted by a lady I had dated that fall and was given some very sobering news. She told me she was pregnant and that I was going to be a daddy. Wow, that was a big news flash. My son was sixteen at the time and there I was at 42, about to be a new father.
To complicate the situation even more, she was still married. She was separated and in the process of getting a divorce when we started dating. Missouri law prohibits anyone who is pregnant from getting a divorce. They require that the parties wait until the child is born to do a DNA test to determine who the father is for child support reasons.
This woman came from a good Catholic family, and as you can imagine they were furious with both of us. The only thing they knew about me was what they saw on TV, which was not good. Her divorce, pregnancy and relationship with me were an embarrassment for them, and the whole complicated mess was like something on a soap opera.
For me, it meant another serious talk with my family. I will never forget telling my parents. When my mother heard the news, she gasped like someone had punched her in the gut. I could see the deep disillusionment in her eyes, but there was nothing I could do. What made it even worse for me was the realization that I was causing the woman who had done nothing but love and pray for me my whole life pain.
Once again my children were very kind and supportive. There are just no words to adequately describe how difficult it was to tell my two daughters and teenage son even more details about my whoring around. They were going to have a new sister or brother from someone they really didn’t even know, who was still married to another man.
 That was one very rough Christmas. I was so thankful for God’s forgiveness and so appreciative of my family and friends, but everything else was a total and complete mess. I didn’t know what to do about my girlfriend and the arriving baby. She didn’t have any place to live so I rented her an apartment to live in and took care of her medical bills. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes, so I made plans to marry her once the baby was born. She was a very nice lady, and I felt responsible to her and the child, but I was adamant on us living apart and not having sex until we were married. By then, I was scared to death of breaking any more of God’s commandments.
Right after Christmas, I received more bad news. An old friend called to advise me of a federal grand jury investigation surrounding my handling of a bill regulating Missouri strip clubs during the 2005 legislative session. Over the years, many of my opponents had accused me of misconduct concerning this bill, but nothing had ever come of it. That fall a rumor about a new investigation had resurfaced, and my friend called to inform me that the FBI was moving forward with it.
I called my attorney who was helping me with the assault case, but he said he was not qualified to handle a federal case. He agreed to call the investigators and check on the situation. Later that week, he confirmed they were investigating the issue and two weeks after that I received a letter in the mail notifying me that I was the target of a federal grand jury investigation. The letter referenced several legal definitions of crimes they were looking into, but it all boiled down to bribery. The letter stated these charges could result in 20-25 years of prison time.
The accusation was that I took a $35,000 donation and promised to kill a bill regulating strip clubs in Missouri. I had been against the bill because it included a tax on strip clubs that I didn’t agree with, and the language regulating private businesses seemed unconstitutional to me. I had never been to a strip club and wasn’t trying to support them, but my disagreement with the language and my animosity toward Sen. Matt Bartle, the bill’s sponsor, were the reasons for my opposition.
Read the rest of…
EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT: Rod Jetton’s “Success Can Kill You”
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Apr 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Is it me or do ATM’s seem more talkative than they used to be?
It used to be you’d slide in your card and enter the amount you wanted and out the money would come.
Nowadays, though, ATM’s seem emotionally needy and ask endless and unnecessary questions–about my balance, my different accounts, service charges, and my judgement (“are you sure you want this amount?”) and on and on.
It’s as if they are lonely and just want some sort of interaction with anybody or anything.
I am waiting for them to ask me if I saw the game Thursday or ask me where I am headed next– or maybe try to guess what the money is for. “Is it bigger than a bread basket? If so, press 1”
I feel sorry for them but I just don’t have time to nurture these machines.
Maybe someone can let them have one day off a.week to socialize with other ATM’s so they can get their emotional needs met–and then when they deal with me just give me my money instead of playing 20 Questions.
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