By John Y. Brown III, on Mon May 19, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Uh-oh…
I tried to set my iPod in my car on a “Loop” to play the same 5 songs repeatedly.
It worked but I just noticed my mind seems to be stuck on a loop with the exact same 5 thoughts. (And they are not songs….I mean thoughts that I would have picked to put on a thought loop.)
I have disabled the looping feature on my iPod but am still having the same 5 thought loop playing over and over in my head.
Does anyone out there have experience with iPods and thought loops getting stuck?
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Here I go again…
Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri May 16, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET When you are talking about gaining weight and you have gained a pound, you simply say you gained a pound. If you’ve gained five pounds, you say you gained five pounds. Simple, right?
But talking about weight loss is different.
If you are trying to lose weight and are talking to someone about your success so far, the weight you mention is always the most total p…ounds lost to date. Even if your weight has fluctuated by a few pounds that week.
For example, I mentioned the other day I had lost 19 pounds in 4 months. And have. I mean had. But I gained two pounds this week. But when asked this morning how my diet was going, I announced confidently that I had lost 19 pounds (not 17 pounds).
I figured it was just pointless to mention and didn’t make me feel as successful.
The rationale, I guess, is that when losing weight we are “in process” and a little backsliding is to be expected but isn’t representative. And we “will” continue to lose weight.
It’s a little like when economists distinguish “constant” dollars and “actual” dollars. Constant dollars are adjusted for inflation. And weight loss is adjusted for aspiration.
As of today, I may have only lost 17 actual pounds, but I have lost 19 pounds when adjusted for aspiration.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu May 15, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  I secretly miss, deep down, that feeling of being an amazing person….in my home, at least, when my children were 6 and 10.
I may have been just another schmo at work. But at home I was a master and maestro to my children at every new activity. Or seemed to be.
I remember blowing giant bubbles for the first time in our backyard that amazed both my children and made them feel like their dad wa…s truly special. I seemed to just “know” how to blow giant bubbles effortlessly–something new to them. They felt proud and believed, deep down, that their dad was probably a better bubble blower than any of the other dads on our street. And maybe in our entire neighborhood. Heck, that day I felt that they believed I was probably a better bubble blower than any dad anywhere.
It was a good feeling. Even though I knew I was probably just a little above average at bubble blowing.
Now our kids are 16 and 20. And they know how to blow bubbles and fly kites and draw in the sand and go sledding and they even know all the grown-up tricks to win at hide-and-go-seek.
And I’m just not as amazing a person as I used to be. I just feel like I’m out of tricks. And pulling a quarter out of one of my children’s ear would just irritate them and make me feel cheap for only pulling out a quarter for them instead of a dollar bill.
Maybe it’s time for a David Copperfield-esque mega magic trick where I make something amazing disappear.
And then I realize that something amazing has already disappeared.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed May 14, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Marital advice
When a husband says that his wife isn’t appreciative enough of him it is like the Grand Canyon saying to a person throwing a small stone into the Canyon, “That isnt enough to fill me up.”
So ladies, please throw in slightly larger stones.
And thanks for throwing “in” and not “at.”
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Just for today…
Instead of trying to right a wrong that was done to me, I will forgive the person and never think of the incident again.
Tomorrow I can go back to trying to right wrongs against me.
But only if I have finished today’s assignment.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue May 13, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
Pardon this brief political and commercial announcement about the importance of supporting our local industries.
Let’s make sure we don’t ever let another state become the Horse Racing Capital of the World.
Sure the jobs and economy are… important.
But imagine what we could end up with instead the first Saturday each May (see below). There’s not a lot to choose from if we lose this proud and well deserved title. Do we really want to become, say, the “Car Touching Capital of the World?” That could be our only option. Think about it. Florida will never concede Dog Racing Capital of the World.
Could we even take that title from Shanghai?
I’m not sure we could. At a minimum we probably couldn’t get Toyota to be the sponsor after last week’s announcement. It’s just a lousy fallback position to have.
It’s just important we think about the consequences of taking our key Kentucky industries for granted. Taking something for granted is usually the last thing you do before feeling really dumb about whatever you are taking for granted.
Car touching, admittedly, has some superficial appeal. But I don’t think it has the potential to have the long proud history comparable to being The Horse Racing Capital of the World.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine a few years in the future that post time is about to be announced. For car touching. Billboards featuring car touching images would dot our highways. But it just wouldn’t be the same picking out a special hat or tie for this new annual event.
You get the idea. I’m not sure I’d open my eyes either.
You can open your eyes now, though. And enjoy the grandeur of yet another Kentucky Derby.
Let’s make sure we keep it that way.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon May 12, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET There are four kinds of people in the world.
There are those who say “You can’t do that.”
And there are those who say, “I just did.”
Then there is the group who says, “I told them that they couldn’t do that in here and that they were going to get in trouble if they didn’t stop…but they went ahead and did it anyway. I couldn’t believe it and was about to call and tell on them but couldn’t find find my phone.”
And finally there is the fourth group who says, “Phst. I could do that much better than they did. I just don’t want to right now. You can use my phone if you want to.”
We could probably use a fifth kind.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri May 9, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET I just got asked by a friend (jokingly)
“What will you do with yourself now that you are over the hill?”
My answer: “Find a new hill.” (Seriously)
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What if life really isn’t like a box of chocolates?
Then what?
Do I try to make a paradigm shift in my world view at age 50?
Or am I too old to hassle with a world view paradigm shift and better off just continuing to insist life really is like a box of chocolates?
Frankly, I hope I never have to make this choice but this is the burden of having a deeply philosophical mind.
Even if you are shallow.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu May 8, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET “Oh.”
I’m not sure when it started but recently I have noticed that the above word has become BOTH the most common word in my vocabbulary.
And my most commonly used sentence.
Note: Finishing a close second in both categories is the word and sentence: “Sorry.”
And sometimes I even find myself combining the two, I.e. “Oh. Sorry.” Or the less common but equally effective, “Sorry. Oh.”
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed May 7, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET One more reason it is good to be a gal.
My theory is that when we meet St Pete guarding the Pearly Gates the conversation with us is going to sound a lot like the conversation we have with a police officer when we are trying to talk our way out of a traffic ticket.
We concede we made mistakes but that that it wasn’t deliberate –and we try to focus on the good things about our driving and driving history and how much respect we have for the law, etc, etc and then try to make an emotional appeal to their sympathy.
But women, I suspect, have a much higher success rate than men do at talking their way our of traffic tickets. And I also suspect that is a transferable skill that can be used on St Pete, too.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue May 6, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Thank you– to a real public servant.
Louis Hall, a quiet and unassuming man, who went to work every day at our State Capitol for 62 years, retired today.
Louis never held elective office. And never aspired to.
Louis never helped shape public policy or wrote a Supreme Court decision or issued an executive order. And that was fine with him.
But Louis was a personality, a smile, and a sunny disposition who did his job dutifully every day in our state Capitol and made it a little bit better place to work. And has been doing so since Alben W Barkley was the vice-president of the United States and presidential candidates relied on corny musical jingles like “I like Ike” to get elected.
Lewis was a friend to everyone who took the time to say hello back to him. As well as a friend to those who didn’t. And in a place where friendliness can often be suspect, there was never an ulterior motive with Louis.
He was a constant fixture at our state Capitol for over six decades. While history was getting made –or not getting made– Lewis was quietly and graciously doing his job and never failed to deliver a kind word or humorous remark whenever he had the opportunity.
And those things are important in ways that are difficult to measure and are never fully appreciated –until they are gone.
Monday morning will start off like every other Monday at our state Capitol, for those who work there. But by lunchtime –or certainly by late afternoon–something will feel like it is missing even though it will be hard to put your finger on what that something is.
It will be the daily smile you took for granted and the friendly face you always enjoyed seeing as you turned to walk down a hallway at the state Capitol.
And could never imagine not being there.
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