John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Next Phases in Life

Not being ready to hear something doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Yesterday I was talking to a counselor friend and we got on the subject of “next phases” in life.

I mentioned my kids had just turned 16 and 20 and I missed the feeling in our family of being “captain of our team” –and lately felt more like I had been relegated to the position of third base coach whose only role was making odd scratching and touching signs that looked like early onset of dementia to observers.

I was laughing because I was exaggerating. Until my
friend pointed out that I was exactly right —and then reassured me by describing the occasional important role that a third base or first base coach can play.

But that wasn’t what I was expecting or ready to hear.

There was a long silent pause.

As I waited for my friend to tell me he was just kidding, he was simultaneously waiting for me to let this painful truth to sink in.

Then I interjected my conclusion. “No. Uh-uh. No…That’s not what is happening in my situation. That’s not really what I am talking about.”

Before adding, “I am talking about players that go through a bad season or two before they make a big comeback.”

Then there was another long pause.

This time I didn’t say anything. I just pretended to slide my fingers across the bill of my cap, touched my chest, tapped my nose and winked.