By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Sep 28, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
I rarely ever lose my cool. And even when I do, it usually goes unnoticed.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate someone who can “lose it” easily—and really put it to impressive uses.
Here is one of my all time favorite “losing it” scenes from one of my all-time favorite movies about the mindset of criminals.
And the consequences of provoking their sometimes hair trigger temper. Unforgettably played by Dustin Hoffman.
Oh, and let me forewarn you, I once had a college counselor 30 years ago suggest to me that I had a “low frustration tolerance threshold.” He may have been trying to tell me that one day I could be capable of doing this too.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Sep 27, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
If you are in an urban area and need to buy an outfit and see a store called Urban Outfitters, you’d think your problem was almost solved, right?
Not necessarily.
I took my son in and strode up and down several rows of men’s clothing. Or it could have been boy clothing. Or man/boy. Or maybe unisex or genderless.
The point is that I liked it but none seemed really to work. A few shirts made me look like a skateboarder. Another like a Native American celebrating his cultural heritage.
Another just made me very uncomfortable because it was tight in all the wrong places.
And so finally, I gave up and decided to leave.
At the door was a young lady greeting customers and I said,
“Excuse me….What age range does Urban Outfitters cater to?”
“We cater to 16-24 year olds,” she said.
“Hmm.” I wasn’t sure whether to pretend I was there to shop just for my son or fess up.
I said, “Do any of the clothes work for people slightly over age 24?”
“Oh, yes.”
“How about all the way up to, say, 49?”
“Absolutely! We sure do.” She cheerfully encouraged.
I laughed and thanked her and said she didn’t have to exaggerate Urban Outfitters target market to make me feel better, but I appreciated it.
But I’m not sure I did.
I thought to myself, I am ready to accept my age being off for some hip clothing stores.
Even by 25 years. But not ready to have young people lie to me about age issues to avoid hurting my feelings.
Tomorrow I may go back and buy something just to make a point that I don’t want anyone’s sympathy.
And if you see me in an multi-colored Native American designed shirt next week…. I’m not wearing it because of my culture. But because I can!
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 26, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Idea for bookstores to save the world.
Yesterday in Barnes & Noble book store I browsed three different sections.
Politics section. It seemed like every book title was about blaming somebody or some group or some thing for all of our problems.
Self-help section. All the titles seemed in this section seemed to be about taking responsibility for yourself and not blaming others and making the most of your life.
Humor section. Just fun and frivolous titles that make a mockery of our day-to-day world and help lighten my day and restore my perspective.
So, here’s my big idea to save the world.
Take the Self-help books and place them in the Political section. That way we will help end the blame game and start thinking about what we each can do to make things better.
Take all the books in the Humor section and place them in the Self-Help section. Frankly, having a good laugh or two each day is better than buying and reading an entire new book we won’t act on anyway.
And, finally, place all the books from the Political section in the Humor Section. Those books will then be properly categorized and are frankly a lot funnier than most the books in that section anyway when you take them at face value. And they will stop being confused for books that teach or inform us—and finally serve some useful purpose.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 25, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
The first of three presidential debates occurs in about a week—three historic debates that will likely determine who will be a next president and which direction our country will take.
Many pundits are looking for clues from the 2008 debates to try to predict who will win and why.
But I am taking a different tack.
I think what Election 2012 really comes down to is whether you were more of fan of Donny Osmond and the Osmond Brothers, or a fan of Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5.
And I have found some historic footage that may be the best preview available of what we can expect when Mitt Romney and Barack Obama take the stage together next week.
And near the end of the video clip they even give a sense of what it will be like to appear with their running mates.
Which returns us to the most important question at hand. Are you more of a Michael or a Donny kind of voter?
Sure, both have music with a good beat, and you can dance to it. But in November, when we enter that voting booth all by ourselves, we can only choose one.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
I recently read this book. It’s titled The Maie Brain. And is a science-based based, well researched book on the inner workings of the male brain.
I’m a guy so, you know, I was hoping to find out some pretty encouraging stuff about the we guys think.
But it was more like a personality test you take in the back of a magazine that tells you, after spending 45 minutes finishing it, that you really aren’t very interesting after all.
Except with this book, you can’t go back and change your answers to make yourself more interesting.
Actually, the image that kept coming to me as I approached the last few chapters will date me.
It was Geraldo Rivera’s infamous opening on live TV of Al Capone’s secret vault. The event was hyped for weeks. And all Geraldo found when opened was a stop sign and two lunch pales.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Sep 21, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
We do a good job of honoring the winners in life. A less good job of honoring those who “might have been” but who due to bad timing, poor circumstances or an odd twist of fate didn’t get to ascend as high as they could have. It’s often little more than a trivial and unexpected incident that enables some to “break through” and others to “stay back.”
John J. Hooker of Tennessee was one who had many things go right for him in life– except in political races. He is probably the Volunteer state’s most gifted politician never to have won a race. And maybe for a few surrounding states too.
Ironically, John J. and his then wife, Tish, served as the serendipitous force in another person’s life.
During John J’s campaign for governor the charismatic couple visited a Nashville church where Tish met a little girl and her family and took the time to talk to her and tell her she was “cute as a speckled pup.” Trivial words occurring in an unexpected incident that changed that little girl’s life. Years later Oprah Winfrey had Tish on her show to thank her and tell her how important that moment was.
I saw John J Hooker speak at an event in Louisville when I was a teenager. I left thinking that he was the most riveting and entertaining speaker I’d ever heard.
He is now in his early 80s and recently was honored by the Tennessee legislature for his life work in public service.
I commend the TN Senate for taking the time to honor a man who was once a great lion in the political world—a great dreamer and crusader, who was more idealistic than practical and more passionate than calculating. But who mattered in TN politics–and still has something to say worthy of younger citizens and public office holders not only to listen to– but to honor.
He came withing a whisker of becoming governor–and if he had won–almost certainly would have turned up as a colorful but unsuccessful Southern state candidate for president. Over time he became marginalized but never ignored.
This impromptu speech to the state senate at age 80 gives a glimpse of both this man’s once great promise–and the now battle scarred but undaunted persona that hasn’t forgotten what might have been:
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Sep 20, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Facebook and “People you might know”
Today I received a notice from Facebook that this young lady is a person I may know and want to friend.
First off, I can’t say that I have ever had in the past, have now, nor will ever have in the future any friends who look like this attractive young lady.
Why Facebook believes we are long lost friends from an earlier time in my life is confusing to me. For one thing, at an earlier time in my life, it is unlikely I was friends with this young gal when I was, oh…say, 35 and she was 9.
I don’t have anything against her and am sure she would make a good friend and have lots of interesting things she posts on her wall. Who knows, maybe we are “two peas in a pod” and have are like-minded on all the issues of the day. But I’m going to need more information before I am convinced.
This is probably the 3rd young, busty woman I’ve never met but Facebook has suggested as a friend over the last 9 months. I also notice that all the friends of these young ladies are, oddly, guys about my age. Which makes me wonder if it isn’t some sort of gag account used to see who is willing to try to friend them.
I’m flattered Mark Zuckerberg and his team take me for such a young and hip guy. But just because many of my posts are rambling, random and ridiculous doesn’t mean I am still in my late teens. Only that I sometimes sound like it.
On the other hand, I am most grateful that Facebook doesn’t send me pictures of people like this with the tag, “People you probably don’t know.” If they ever decide to start doing that, it’s find with me if I’m not notified about such things.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 19, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Report back from the dieting field.
Day 4 since adding generous helpings of Nutella Spread to the Boot Camp diet. I have so far gained 2 pounds—but my mood has been elevated allowing me to not care as much about the weight gain and friends have noticed I am more pleasant to be around and easy going (and they also noticed several small instances of a chocolate-like substance smeared around the corners of my mouth)
So far, so good.
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I hate that awful scary feeling…
I’m sure we all do.
When we are frantically looking and can’t find it.
And then we worry –for a brief moment—that it is gone.
All of it.
That someone else may have gotten to it already.
And that it is too late.
And they have finished off the last finger full…
… of Nutella.
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I have heard about edamame three times in five days– but had never heard of it before.
I told my daughter that it was time I learnws what it is—but that I wasn’t ready yet to say the word out loud.
But it is a cool sounding name for a trendy vegatable.
Which made me wonder: Is edamame popular all of a sudden mostly because it tastes good or because it’s fun to say?
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Why I write on Facebook.
Several years ago I was watching one of those news magazine shows and the story was about the the explosive popularity of eBay. A very busy business man was interviewed who used eBay almost daily for routine purchase.
They asked him why he liked eBay so much. He paused for a moment and answered, “I work constantly on multiple business deals during the day and when I take a few minutes break I want a diversion that truly takes me away somehow. So I go the eBay on my laptop and check things I’m bidding on. It is a sort of release. Even if it’s only 5 minutes at a time 8-10 times a day. It helps center and refresh me.” Those aren’t the exact words, but they convey the idea of what he said.
I think I use Facebook the same way. It’s a sort of release several times a day that helps refresh and center me. And, yes, connect me –to people in the rest of my world (virtual world, anyway).
And at some point in my mid 40’s something happened to me. I was in a restaurant in Frankfort with several friends and someone at the table pointed out another table with a group of energetic young people. Normally when I’d see a table like that, I’d avoid them but I turned slowly to my (younger) friend and smiled broadly and said, “I can’t explain it, but I don’t really want to meet those young people—but I do have this overwhelming desire to mentor them. It’s bizarre. I just want to put my hand on their shoulder and offer advice. What the heck? Am I going through male menopause? Am I molting or something? What is happening to me? Oh, and by the way, I want to talk to you about your relationship with your father and how that is hindering you in your personal and professional life.”
OK, That’s not verbatim….but it’s in the ball park.
My friend didn’t want my advice. And the young people at the table didn’t either.
So I opened a Facebook account where I can write these random, disjointed, goofy but sometimes marginally (or accidentally) insightful thoughts that pop into my head. For fun and for free. Besides, I don’t have any other hobbies to take up my time.
And it is cathartic.
Oh, and the other thing that happened at about this same time, I decided it was better to be real and connect with people as you are than to be admired and never really connect with people as yourself. Which means, well, you just don’t care as much anymore what others think. What you think becomes more important to you. At least it did for me. Appropriate but real. Respectful but open.
And that is cathartic too. And surprising. I never know what is going to come out of me. So….I guess I’ll keep doing it until this molting phase is complete.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 17, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
If you are middle-aged and want to get your “Cool on,” here’s an idea.
The other night while hanging out in the Electronics section of Wal-Mart—just minding the business of my own bad self— I was bombarded by a Wal-Mart promotional adloop featuring “Mr Worldwide.”
I felt foolish not knowing who Mr Worldwide is and could tell by his demeanor and confident speech that I should have heard of him.
I tried Googling him on my iPhone but can’t read the small text–but could tell from the search returns Mr Worldwide was important, cool and goes by the more traditional name “Pitbull.”
He grows on you.
After about the 20th loop you start thinking to yourself, “He’s not as irritating as I thought during the first 10 loops and I don’t think he’d hurt me–so maybe he’s a gansta-type I can pretend knowing about and it would up my cool status and not be too outrageous.
So I want to get the word out to other midsters who– may be like me and not have heard of Mr Worldwide (aka Pitbull)– that he exists and we need to know about him if we hope to stay relevant to the younger generation.
If you want to know more about him and his bad self (his bad self, unlike mine, apparently really is bad) and don’t follow modern rap music, then get down to your loca Wal-Mart and stand in the Electronics section—near the flat screen TVs and you can learn all about him.
I rarely ever lose my cool. And even when I do, it usually goes unnoticed.
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