By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Oct 8, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET The above title is my tribute to Jamie Foxx’s brilliant monologue this past weekend on SNL. I won’t use “How black is that?” because coming from me it will sound racist. From Jamie it just sounds so smooth. I love the concept about Obama too- that his first term was his white side at work. Now we’ll get to see the black man in him- fierce, fit and full of passion with nothing to lose. That’s the most impactful Obama- and I, for one, am so excited to see it. Israel is already taking notice. How snack is that?
So back to dating and relationships, since that’s my area of specialty. I used to own a real café, with a dating service for our customers. How snack is that? We served rice krispy treats iike the one you see here- they were so popular- why? First of all they were HUGE. (How snack is that?) Secondly, they were reminiscent of childhood. Thirdly, they were sweet and delicious. Need I say more? And people ignored the messy, digging right in and sharing with friends. Finger lickin’ good. Just like snacktime when you’re a kid. Pure fun. No worries. How snack is that?
No worries. I hate when people say that over text. It’s never coming from someone who really has “no worries.” What it really means is“I’m angry at you but I’m just going to pretend I’m not because I think of myself as the kind of person who is very Zen and nothing gets me mad. We can deal with our anger over text by dismissing it and we’ll be fine.” How snack is that? Not very. That was Obama in the first Romney debate. Obama in the next debate was all: “I’m gonna kick your butt so far from sideways that when we’re done I will have no worries.” And that’s just what happened. How black is that? (Sorry, I slipped.)
 So I’m gonna suggest that when you meet someone new you ask yourself, “How snack is that?” when you’re on the date. That’s the litmus test for going out again. Clients always ask me: “I wasn’t attracted to him. Should I give him another chance anyway? I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” Not very snack. Why would you be doing him a favor to let him pay for another dinner with no chance of booty just because you feel guilty? You’re wasting your own time and his.
Please call me if you want to change that up- 212-712-0500. Consider it your personal wake up call. Snacktime for your lovelife! Get messy, have something sweet and fun, so that you can soothe the pain involved in growing up. Stretching outside of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself to know what you are feeling and face feeling bad. I am like your personal trainer for dating. There’s milk and cookies on the other side of the rainbow if you trust me, and you do the work. It’s not easy but it can be fun.
Now if you’re in a relationship, I have an exercise for you too. Every time before you call, text or email your spouse or your boyfriend, ask yourself: “How snack is that?” In other words, is what I’m calling or texting to say very important? Is it fun? Is it sexy? Is it a rice krispy treat for him/her? Or is it collard greens that have been sitting out too long at the Korean grocery salad bar? Challenge yourself to be more snack. Don’t let yourself get stale. Don’t be too Wonder Bread. Be unpredictable. Be Jamie Foxx.
Speaking of Jamie Foxx, though- I don’t know if he’s in a relationship. How snack is that? He’s quite a catch. He deserves an awesome girl who will admire him and put him in his place at the same time. When my husband filled out his profile at Drip, my old café (the day before we met, incidentally,) he was asked “What are you looking for in a partner?” His reply “Not a pushover.” I guess he likes a challenge- good thing for me.
So Jamie, if your people are reading this, and you are looking for true love, please have them contact me. I can help you figure out this crazy little thing. Because it’s complicated, just like the Facebook status says. Sometimes you need an expert, even if you’re a celebrity. I will respect your privacy. I’m good like that. I do understand that there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that your people will call me. And even less of a chance that you will. But that is my real number and my confidential voicemail. I’m willing to put it out there- that’s all I can do. Now it’s your turn. It was probably a white SNL writer that wrote that monologue for you anyway. Please have him contact me instead. No worries! 😉
By Erica and Matt Chua, on Mon Oct 7, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET When I think of Bolivia, I’m immediately transported to the Tarabuco Market. The smell of stewed meat fills my nostrils and the vibrant colors of woven textiles dance before me, this is how I remember Bolivia. I loved following the Gringo Trail through the Salt Flats and reaching the summit of Huyana Potosi, but Bolivia really came alive at the bustling markets. While women went about their weekly shopping, children in tow and tourists bargained for alpaca sweaters I roamed along the dusty side streets taking in the sights, sounds and smells. Here is what I found:
The Tarabuco Market is held every Sunday and spans far beyond the busy central square where much of the tourist souvenirs are sold. Wandering past the main square I found a huge vegetable market, a live animal auction and several side streets lined with artisan shops. All the neon blankets, shawls and belts are beautiful, but the people is what caught my eye. The indigenous Yampura women almost seemed to have a uniform, every one in a bright colored A-line skirt accompanied by an embroidered blouse, topped off with a bowler hat. Children were attached like accessories to the back, side or front.
The penetrating stare of a Bolivian woman at the Tarabuco Market (above). Her smile was as intense as her eyes when I shared the photo she allowed me to take of her and her daughter. Bolivians are not known to be welcoming or friendly to visitors, but when you are rewarded with a smile you can be sure it is genuine.
Read the rest of…
Erica and Matt Chua: Tarabuco Market
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Oct 7, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET  Does it pay to be an author?
Of course it does.
Sometimes it pays a whole lot.
Other times not so much and you just have to hope to aim higher and hit the next time around.
And at still other times, depending on what sort of math calculations you choose to use, writing can actually cause you to lose money and make you wonder, “Is merely having a book listed on Amazon.com worth the money you are in debt to make this book?”
I can say that of the three categories I am probably most familiar with the third category.
 Above is a copy of my first check for profit on my book Musings from the Middle. I chose not to try to make money off it and charge only about a dollar profit a book just to cover costs.
As you can see my first check (which I have been advised is going to be by far my biggest) is $119.12. Now that’s nothing to sneeze at, of course, and is clearly in the “three figure range.” At least until you realize that has to cover a family of four including two teenagers with one in college and one just a few years away. When looked at that way, $119.12 doesn’t sound like as much as it did at first blush.
Given today’s college tuition prices, $119.12 will only cover about 33 minutes of one class your freshman year at a state university.
When you factor in the help I got putting the book together, organizing it, designing a cover, etc, well….all that cost about $400. So when you add the $119.12 to that figure you get something like….well, about — $280.
So let’s assume that over the next year (or five years), I get other checks totaling this amount? I am trying to be realistic. My book is currently ranked on Amazon.com at #1,972,197. Again, nothing to sneeze at. Until you realize that means that 1,972,196 books are ranked ahead of you.
So if I do get a total profit on the book of $240 that means I am only in the hole a mere $160.
 Click here to purchase Which now leads to the big question. Would I pay $160 to be able to say I have a book on Amazon.com?
The answer is, I apparently already have.
Had I not yet done it, I would be willing to pay…..hmmm…..maybe $150. And could see myself caving in if pushed on $160. So, I guess, all in all it is a good deal. And 33 minutes in a class at a state university is nothing to sneeze at–with today’s college tuition prices.
Especially if you are an author.
By RP Staff, on Mon Oct 7, 2013 at 10:00 AM ET  Crisis management and scandal recovery have captured the moment, from big-league sports to New York City’s current political silly season. PR firms are rebranding themselves as crisis advisers. Ex-White House aides are peddling their bona fides. While the public sees scandal through a tabloid lens, at its heart are flawed human beings making mistakes, acting emotionally, and trying to preserve their reputations and careers. “Recovering politicians” who suffered highly publicized scandals share their stories, offer guidance, and comment on the latest attempts to launch second acts.
A conversation with:
Krystal Ball, co-host, MSNBC’s “The Cycle;” former Virginia congressional candidate
Jonathan Miller, Daily Beast columnist; No Labels co-founder; former Kentucky state treasurer
Michael Steele, co-chairman, Purple Nation Strategies; former Republican National Committee chairman
Moderated by:
Jeff Smith, assistant professor of politics and advocacy, The New School; former Missouri state senator
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Oct 7, 2013 at 9:15 AM ET There is an historic impasse between two groups of our nation’s leaders.
One group believes that the root cause of what is most wrong in their lives is the threat of implementation of the Affordable Care Act (or Obamacare as some prefer to call it).
The other group believes that the root cause of what is most distressing in their lives is… the Tea Party movement and its influence on the Republican Party.
This is, for both groups, far more than merely a work-related or ordinary civic cause. It is, for most in this debate, the defining question at the defining moment for each of them and everyone around them.
And each group is ridiculing the other for being ignorant and self-righteous and trying to ruin America. But the problem is that those doing the name calling don’t really know –or at least know well–what those they declaim are really like in their daily lives. They often only understand only a caricature or stereotype of their political rivals.
So, here is my modest proposal.
Since you have the week off and are presumably with family, please sit down with them and give each a single sheet of paper and a pen. Then ask each family member to write down the 5 things about you that in their opinion are causing the most trouble for you personally and for your family.
These are the people who know you best and have your best interest at heart–and theirs.
I doubt the “implementation of the ACA” or the “Tea Party movement” will make the cut on many of those lists. And I suspect you’ll be surprised by what does make the list.
And now here is the immodest part of my proposal. If that is truly what occurs, will you show the same visceral disdain and devotion to ridding those things from your life that really are causing daily pain to you and your family and those around you–and do so with the same resolve and enthusiasm you show today when railing against either Obamacare or Tea Partiers?
If you answer yes, then I suspect you’ll all be back at work sooner than planned.
And if the rest of us who are deeply engaged and emotionally invested in this national healthcare stand-off would try a similar experiment at our home —and devotedly seek to resolve those items written on our lists, I suspect next week will be a lot less testy and a lot more pleasant for each one of us. And that is good for our health—and the political health of our nation.
By Saul Kaplan, on Mon Oct 7, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET  #BIF9 carries a sense of homecoming, a reunion of sorts. The kind where all the crazy aunts and uncles gather, regaling us with tales of adventure and awe. Perhaps the family reunion metaphor is accurate; I believe that innovators are cut from the same DNA. We are insatiable optimists and see opportunity in everything.
We are curious about everything. We know that learning together is the best way to get better faster. We believe in transformation and disruption – both personally and across our industries. We are all storytellers, knowing that stories connect and unite us, and enable us to transform together.
Each year, when I look towards the Summit – this is the promise I see. 400+ innovation junkies, who share this DNA, reuniting. 32 fabulous storytellers will jumpstart your heart and mind, pushing your thinking to the edge. But their stories are just the beginning. Their stories catalyze your conversations and collaborations. I see this happening time and time again from the stage, from the audience, and in the hallways of the Trinity Repertory Company. It is always awe inspiring and overwhelming.
 This is what makes #BIF9 special. We don’t need more meetings of the usual suspects; we need the ability to think and act in new ways, laterally across silos and disciplines. The world doesn’t need incremental progress; it needs wholly new possibilities born from disruptive, creative people working together in entirely new ways.
This is our promise, catalyzed every year at the Summit. #BIF9 is really your platform – to plug in with your fellow disrupters. Your conversations and collisions will mold it and shape it. We trust this implicitly. We merely create the conditions for something beautiful and purposeful to emerge. The rest is up to you.
Welcome to the family.
By John Y. Brown III, on Sun Oct 6, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Marriage therapists agree it may be time for republicans and democrats in Congress to consider divorcing one another.
“Normally, spouses (and political parties) can work through difficult discussions by agreeing that a “Time Out” can be called by either party when there is disagreement and emotions are running high —but that is contingent on each side respecting the other when a “Time Out” is called.
Some therapists agree that a “prolonged time out” could be beneficial but if parties are going to start insisting on complete shutdowns lasting for several weeks, that other options, including divorce, need to be explored.
“We had felt, as a group, a structured separation made the most sense if things didn’t improve during implementation of the Affordable Health Care Act,” said a spokesperson for the group, “but it is clear now that the two parties have irreconcilable differences that are beyond the scope of the most sophisticated tools our profession has to offer.” Adding that “Even make-up intimacy” (or bi-partisan feel good legislation) seems no longer to hold any allure for either party.
Not all marriage therapists agree. Some professional marriage counselors believe that insisting on using “Mirroring techniques” where members on the floor are required to repeat what they believe they heard another member say –and get confirmation from that member their understanding is correct — before criticizing or name-calling a colleague would be helpful and clear up some of the confusion and hurt feelings experienced now on both sides. But some First Amendment experts say that would be a violation of free speech.
Still others family therapists have suggested the required use of “I” statements when hurling accusations against those not in their political party. For example, instead of shouting something like, ‘You lie!’ to President Obama, Representative Joe Wilson would be required to instead shout something like, “When you talk about your new immigration policy, I feel afraid on the inside.”
Again, however, Constitutional scholars question if such requirements wouldn’t violate the First Amendment.
As for the children, there is the possibility of joint custody. Under this arrangement, Congressional republicans will govern Americans on Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays and get us every third weekend and half the summer. Democrats in Congress get to govern the country on odd days and two of three weekends and split summers, probably in the Hamptons.
A few marriage counselors suggested that the cause of the breakdown is traceable to the Tea Party being a jealous and controlling mistress for the Republican Party. One therapist, who asked to remain anonymous, compared U.S Senator Ted Cruz to Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction and his recent filibuster reminiscent of the “rabbit stew scene.” A majority of therapists, however, trace primary blame on an earlier ‘straying” with an inter-party dalliance among Congressional Democrats that turned into a torrid romance with now president Barack Obama. Although democrats in congress now claim it is purely a professional and platonic working relationship, many republican colleagues now admit they felt that “Despite years of being together and taking the good with the bad that they were about to be replaced by a new Trophy Politician, President Barack Obama” and never were able to forgive the very public seduction they had to witness. Quoting another marriage therapist who also asked to remain anonymous, “It was like rubbing salt into that fresh wound by making such a priority about “President Obama’s big idea, the healthcare bill. It’s like asking your spouse to chauffeur your new girlfriend around town and expecting them to say, ‘Sure, I’d love to.’ It’s just not realistic.” Adding, “Anyone in our profession could have predicted a retaliatory tryst with the Tea Party was just a matter of time.”
Is this dramatic dissolution of Congress really necessary? As one top marriage counselor said, “It has to be. The example Congress is setting for the children, I mean the people, isn’t healthy and will likely be repeated if any of them ever make it to Congress. This sort of maladjusted and entitled behavior can take years of therapy to overcome. And that would mean adding additional therapeutic coverage to Obamacare and I just don’t see that happening right now. A divorce is really best for all concerned.”
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Oct 4, 2013 at 6:00 PM ET Did Jon Stewart predict the current government shutdown?
It has been wisely observed that comedians can sometimes be our most useful philosophers.
9 years ago this month an epic moment of honest candid discussion occurred on what was then the most influential political debate show in the nation. It is worth watching right now, in my opinion, if you want to better understand the underlying cause of our nation’s current political dysfunction.
Consider the video clip ad comedian Jon Stewart predicting in 2004 the government shutdown in 2013. At least that is my take.
I don’t believe it matters much who is most at fault. I believe it matters a lot, however, if we as a nation have permantly transformed political debate into a form of sport-like entertainment where the point is merely to “win” –and that we have forgotten how to discuss together, deliberate candidly, and expect our elected officials to honestly craft policy that is within the realm of the possible?
I don’t know the answer. But when I watch this clip I believe Jon Stewart is saying something that is both obvious and profound. And I contend is far more important than any speeches given today on the floor of Congress.
By Jason Grill, on Fri Oct 4, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET  Recovering politician, and former Missouri State Representative Jason Grill, talked about the government shutdown, on The Mitch Albom Show.
Click here to download the podcast.
Click here to learn more about (and invest in) Jason’s latest venture, Sock 101.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Oct 4, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Have you ever noticed that the people who bragged the loudest about the SAT scores when they were 17 are hardly ever the same people in middle age who boast regularly about the Credit Score?
Sure both tests are on a scale that goes up to about 800 and both are important.
But I think there may be some sort of inverse relationship between high SAT scores and high credit scores.
And what about the rest of us? Those who haven’t had a chance to brag about either score? Is there a third test in our later years we could still ace and get to brag about?
If not, we sure would appreciate it if someone out there would please think of one. And one more thing.
I think that the “Super Score” rule for the SAT should apply with Credit Reports, too.
Whatever my highest score on any given day for the year was with Experian, Transunion, and Equifax should be “My score” for that year.
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