In this incredibly polarized political climate, it’s always refreshing to find areas of bipartisan agreement. And a recent poll about congressional favorability ratings showed that liberals, conservatives, Republicans, Democrats, men, women, older & younger voters are all unified in their disapproval of Congress. Nobody, apparently, thinks Congress is doing its job, and this sure seems like a great place to start working together to find solutions, since we’re all agreed about the problem. Maybe this will help us dig our way out of the sequester mess, before Congress loses any more favorability (by some polls they’re already down to single digits).
I will leave the specifics of those solutions to trained political scientists and commentators, but meanwhile I was struck by one aspect of the poll. This time, instead of just tracking percentage approval rates, some brilliant pollster decided to put things in context by asking respondents to compare Congress with a fairly wide, weird assortment of things, so people were asked whether they viewed Congress or traffic jams more favorably, that type of thing. And as many articles have referenced, Congress is less popular than a ton of fairly awful things, ranging from colonoscopies to Donald Trump – a list which was just begging to be turned into a song!
By Jonathan Miller, on Thu Feb 28, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
I have been listening this week to a lot of music from an alternative rock band from the late 80s and early 90s named “Mother Love Bone.”
I know. Great band but name is hard to explain away if I died unexpectedly in a car accident and the police on the scene noticed my IPod set to Mother Love Bone pictured with their gifted and androgynous lead singer, Andy Wood, who died before their debut album from a heroin overdose.
Which is why I am mentioning this now. If some tragedy befalls me and there is talk of my “disturbing interest” for a man my age in a rock band named (there is no subtle way to pronounce it) “Mother Love Bone” —please someone chime in and say it was just a “passing phase” and that I was much better known for my love of classical music, Beethoven, Bach and the boys.
Who, be quick to add, showed clear signs of androgyny too but no one ever mentions that and maybe they (Andy Wood, Beethoven and Bach) were just all great musicians and we should leave it at that.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Feb 27, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
If you feel too old to be young, chances are you are really just too young to be old.
Seriously.
If you think you are too old, past your prime, don’t have it “goin’ on” anymore….puleeez!
Don’t waste our time telling us it can’t be done because your age or can’t try now because, “What will people think?” We know what they’ll think.
The same thing you’ll think if you wait another five years, “Why didn’t I do this 5 years ago?!!”
Want proof your are cheating yourself and others with stories of being on the wrong side of the aging pendulum?
Watch Steve Winwood (the rock star) singing his classic “Dear Mr Fantasy” in “his prime” in 1972.
And then watch Steve Winwood (now the master) singing his classic “Dear Mr Fantasy” 35 years later, “in his prime.”
Someone, I’m sure, told Steve Winwood he was too old for this more recent concert…But he told them, I’m guessing, something like…. “Nah. You can’t be too old if you still haven’t peaked!. Come see me again in 30 years and we’ll talk then. I’ll get you back stage passes.”
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Feb 26, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET
Like many of my peers, I grew up in a completely traditional family, with 2 parents, 3 kids, several pets, and a house in the burbs. My parents were each other’s first marriage, we all had the same last name, and we were just like nearly every other family on the block. However, that model is increasingly rare, even in my own experience – I’m divorced from my kids’ dad and remarried, plus I never changed my name either marriage, so our neighborhood carpool chart has to refer to us as ‘The Mayer/Grinthal/Visini family. Plus my ex has remarried a woman with kids of her own, so we’re all one big happy blended family, meaning we can all sit together at graduations and barmitzvahs (and giving me better material than I could ever write – I landed one corporate consulting gig through my first husband’s second ex-wife’s third husband, which as you might imagine I love to say!)
And my kids are growing up comfortable with all sorts of families. When my son Ben was about 8, he met a kid who was being raised jointly by a gay couple and a lesbian couple, and Ben informed the boy that he also had two dads and two moms – Ben was referring to his parents and step-parents, but in his view there really wasn’t any difference. Families now come in all shapes and sizes, and so when I was asked to write a kid-friendly song for a special needs program, I couldn’t resist throwing in my own agenda – plus as we get closer to some pivotal Supreme Court decisions on marriage equality, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to celebrate diversity!
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Feb 15, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Saying “no” when it is necessary is important. How you say no can be even more important.
As Mark Twain once quipped the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightening and a lightening bug.
His point was well taken as a maxim for literary precision.
But a similar emphasis should be placed on the manner or tone or context with which one delivers messages to others, especially messages with a negative impact. Like conveying that the answer to a request or proposal or simple question is “no.”
Simply saying the word no, may seem to be adequate for message purposes but is hardly ever sufficient for full communication purposes. It is only a partial response that ignores acknowledging the time, resources, preparation and hopefulness invested in the endeavor awaiting a final reply. And deserves more work on the responding end than a mere thumbs down.
Think of Mary Poppins; advice that a “Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” Good life advice with multiple applications.
The next time you say “no” to someone think of your role as being more akin to giving a eulogy to the deceased than serving as the executioner.
Unless, of course, you are in to that sort of thing. Some people secretly relish delivering harsh rejections– with an almost mild sadistic delight, But be ready to be haunted by the ghosts of bad news being explained badly (or sensitive news being explained insensitively).
The consequences of good and bad bedside manner is seen in every type of office everywhere….not just the ones inhabited by doctors and the medical profession.
So think of it this way. If good bedside manner is what distinguishes to a large degree great doctors from merely good technical doctors, couldn’t that be true in other professions too.
Good bedside manner is not something that requires a knowledge of medicine or other technical expertise. It merely requires a basic level of respect for the person or client or patron you are talking to. And the extra time to craft a sentence or two that uses both the word no and conveys the message thank you.
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET
We all have our own irrational fears, based on an emotional response rather than facts. Kids are afraid of monsters in the closet, phobics are afraid of spiders or the color red, single men are afraid of commitment, I’m afraid of cheerleaders – none of these things actually pose a threat, and we eventually either grow up, learn to move past our fears, or in the case of my husband, realize that being married is way more fun than he’d thought.
So with the Supreme Court preparing to hear cases related to gay marriage, it’s time to apply that same standard of rationality to the objections raised by opponents. Gay marriage has been legal in Massachusetts since 2004 (as well as in many progressive states and countries, and frankly, we in California should be ashamed of ourselves for being less progressive than Iowa and Canada!). Therefore, instead of vague fears, we can look at the actual effects on society in those locations – and guess what, absolutely nothing bad has happened. The predictions of societal catastrophe, public fornication, gender confusion, and children behaving terribly have not come true – in fact, the divorce rate has declined in Mass, and experts predict we’ll see the same effect in other states once more data is in. So one could argue that gay marriage is GOOD for society as a whole, not just for all those committed couples who are denied the legal protections we take for granted. (Note – the way I convinced my previously commitment-phobic husband that we needed ‘just a piece of paper’ was to point out that our gay friends have to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees to get a fraction of the protection we could get for $50 and a quick trip to City Hall.) (Although now I let him think the whole thing was his idea!)
There are so many real things in this world of which to be afraid – financial collapse, global warming, more Kardashian reality shows – so I believe it’s time for opponents of gay marriage to recognize that there is nothing to fear, and to go find something that actually justifies worrying. And to help them along, here’s a song examining the evidence.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Identity management tool
I was asked by Apple iTunes a question to confirm my identity and allow me access to my account
The identity question ?
What was the first album you purchased?
I answered–after considerable thought –Puff the Magic Dragon. It was 45 years ago but I remember it well.
But I was told “no” that wasn’t the album.
How do they know?
Can I find out from Apple what the album was I first purchased?
May be they will say the Monkees….but that was my second album.
I will call tomorrow to protest this block to my account and I will have affidavits from my mom and two sisters that, indeed, it was Puff the Magic Dragon.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Feb 8, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Leave ’em speechless. My inner-Superfly. And vivid imagination:
Me: I really don’t think you would have sent that snarky text this morning if you’d known the truth about what song I’d just listened to. That’s right. What song (and video) I had just listened to and watched. And was feeling. Superfly! Curtis Mayfield. Uh-huh. That’s right!
Texter: I’m sorry Mr Brown. I didn’t know.
Me: You’re sorry alright. Don’t text me in that sarcastic tone ever again.
Texter: I won’t, sir. I swear.
I love cool comebacks that I have with others during imaginary conversations I have in my head.
Sure, it’s not quite the same as if I actually said it during an actual conversation to an actual person. But it still sends a message. Maybe a message no one but me is aware of. But it sends a message to me that I’m not as important or feeble as I feel at the moment.
And, yeah, I’m pretty good at it, too. Like Yogi Berra said, “It ain’t braggin’ if you done it.” And I do have a lot of great comebacks that shut down rude people in their tracks. (Imaginary comebacks in imaginary conversations with imaginary people).
But as these fantasy conversations go, they are impressive, and plentiful, and I always get the last word. Leaving my rivals speechless and ashamed–and hopefully a little wiser the next time they find themselves in an imaginary conversation with me.
