Being from the San Francisco area, I was one of many locals horrified by Chris Culliver’s homophobic remarks last week (about how he’d never play with a gay team-mate – “We dont got no gay people on the team. You know, they gotta get up out of here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff”) And being the daughter of a former English teacher, I was one of many writers almost as equally horrified by his mangling of the language.
But the reaction he prompted was incredibly reassuring. Of course the 49ers organization condemned his remarks – they know their market! – but plenty of other NFL players chimed in, offering their support for gay rights and marriage equality. Seemingly overnight, becauase of one fairly idiotic remark, the homophobia that has long been ingrained in sports culture seems to be dissolving.
Frankly, I never understood sports homophobia – events involving large numbers of incredibly buff young men running around a court or field, jumping, chasing, and tackling each other, is about as homo-erotic as anything not x-rated. And while I don’t expect most teams to dump end-zone prayers for group performances of YMCA, it sure does seem like the overall climate has changed. Sure, a few neanderthals are sputtering about the horrors (“what’s next, people marrying their horses?”), but it’s hard to dispute the fact that public opinion is shifting. Who knows whether it’s because of Will & Grace, or because Idaho and New England haven’t suddenly gone beserk (no pet marriages yet!), but I for one am thrilled. (I am a card-carrying Jewish mother, so naturally I’m still hoping that one of my sons turns out gay, so he’ll never replace me with another woman and I’ll have a shopping pal.)
So here’s a new ‘fight song,’ in honor of the welcome changes within the sports community:
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Feb 5, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Why it is important to pay attention to detail –and spelling. And album covers.
Because the song doesn’t remain the same. Or even similar.
I was 17 and on a date with my high school buddy Maronda Buchta (now McKinney) and we were going to a rock concert –Rush.
We met early and had lots of time to kill and had listened to the latest Rush album enough times we already knew more about Tom Sawyer than we’d ever imagined.
So I suggested we swing by a record store off Shelbyville road and pick up the album by “That Neil guy” and added “You know. Who sings Cinnamon Girl. From the movie Rust Never Sleeps.”
Maronda was easy going and agreed. So I walked into the record store and asked for the two best cassettes they could recommend by the big rock star “Neil ….Neil something…”
The sales clerk and manager scurried to the back and grabbed two cassette tapes which didn’t seem quiet right when I glanced at them. but I didn’t want to debate and just said I’ll take them both and spent my last few dollars and was out the door.
We pulled out of the parking lot and headed to Freedom Hall. I had already furiously opened the cassettes outside the store and threw away the box and receipt.
And as we began cruising downtown I asked Maronda to put in the “Neil guy …the, uh, ummm, Neil. What did the sales clerk say his last name was? Oh yeah. Neil Diamond!”
Maronda looked deeply wounded and concerned for me. And speaking in what seemed like painfully slow motion, she explained”Neil Diamond doesn’t sing Cinnamon Girl.” And then started laughing hysterically at me, which people were wont to do then (and now).
Neil D had looked hip enough on the album cover to sing a few Neil Young songs —but Neil never sought that role and was never comfortable in it.
And after scouring both cassettes unsuccessfully for the the song Cinnamon Girl, I gave up and slipped in the cassette .
Has anyone ever chosen to listen to Song Sung Blue to pump yourself up before a concert? I have and it didn’t work well. I like Neil Diamond just fine but not before Rush concert. After all, Neil Young and Neil Diamond are as different as Cinnamon Girl and Cinnamon Butter.
And to this day, 32 years later, I still check 2 or 3 times when selecting to buy or listen to music by Neil Young.
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Steely Dan versus Nicki Minaj —and my curmudgeonly moment.
My favorite band is Steely Dan. And that makes me lucky. Steely Dan emerged during my generation and creates gorgeous music with clever lyrics that have substance and meaning. But mostly they create extraordinary music that sweeps you away in the magical way that only great music can do.
So who is unlucky with music? At the risk of sounding old and crusty, I think today’s younger generation are being shortchanged. Too much of the music is mere shock and gimmickry. It reminds me of a stand-up comedian who has material that isn’t funny and elicits laughs by using over-the-top crude language. The weaker the material, the cruder the language becomes–until you eventually have merely a string of expletives that are barely held together by the semblance of a humorous story.
An unfortunate amount of the most popular music today seems to be similarly crafted. Instead of going for the cheap laugh, they go for the cheap lyric (that’s really not even a lyric at all). It’s musical but not really music. It’s edgy but too often empty—void of meaning. It’s catchy but not clever. It’s crude rather than creative. Today’s music doesn’t flow smoothly and transport us to a better place but rather stuns us with sounds that seem more like bullets that never hit their target yet were fired in anger.
I know I am vastly over-generalizing. But that’s something older people get to do. Young people have hip lingo. Older people get to rif generally without being a slave to the detail expected of younger writers and thinkers. No doubt about it, there is great music being created by the younger generation. But there’s too much what I’ll call Nicki Minaj “Did it on ’em” tirades that I dare call music.
Steely Dan and the music of my earlier generation is created by bands who love music and were drawn to music for what it could do to make life not only more bearable but more enjoyable. Today’s bands often seem like an unrepentant “Id”, as Freud called it, creating techno sounds reflecting uncoordinated instincts shouted in frustration—music that aims more at venting than creating. Its highest form of meaning may well be cathartic—leaving behind lyrics it’s hard to imagine will be appreciated 20 years from now.
Which brings me back to my point about sounding old and crusty. But remember, music teaches us that things aren’t always what they sound like. Maybe I’m not old and crusty then– but a little saddened that today’s musicians don’t ask more of themselves. And disappointed to see the magic that music can be to each generation diminished just a little and it’s raw and natural power ignored in favor of something different and, I contend, cheaper.
One of the many Steely Dan songs I never tire of is FM. A song about the shift from AM radio in the 1970s with the refrain “No static at all”, which symbolized the move to FM. And yet much of the music offered up today seems to celebrate static and, in terms of its persona, seems better suited for AM. Another is Caves of Altimira. I heard the song for the first time while in college and was drawn in by its irresistibly compelling sound. And after a while came to appreciate the lyrics and learned what they meant.
It was through a Steely Dan song that I learned about the famous cave in Spain with vivid and colorful cave paintings featuring drawings and paintings of wild mammals and Paleolithic humans. All set to a mellifluous saxophone solo that allowed me to escape into my curiosity and connected me with my past.
When’s the last time you can say something like that about a recent pop song?
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Jan 29, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET
I know there’s a lot going on politically right now, between immigration reform, deficit ceiling craziness, and gun control, and it may seem hard to find much in the world that is even remotely bipartisan.
But certain human experiences connect us all – as I was reminded by watching the way Sybil’s childbirth death on Downton Abbey affected both the privileged gentry and the hard-working servants downstairs. Birth, marriage, death, putting on our trousers one leg at a time – it helps me to remember that even those with whom I vehemently disagree still love their families or enjoy good dark chocolate. And on the same day Downton Abbey aired that episode, I had my own version of one of those experirences-which-unite-us-all . . . my younger son took possession of his first car (an ancient one he got from my ex, his dad, with 300,000 miles on it, but it runs!)
Suddenly after two decades of my life revolving around my kids and their various activities, doctors, etc., I’m mostly done with driving them, and that’s something we can all relate to! (or as they would say at Downton, “something to which we all can relate . . . “)
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Jan 22, 2013 at 5:00 PM ET
In case you’ve been under a rock for the past week, dethroned cyclist Lance Armstrong ‘told all’ to the queen of the confessional, Oprah Winfrey. And most people reacted much like Claude Rains’ character in Casablanca upon learning about gambling at Rick’s – “we’re shocked, simply shocked” – or something to that effect. The highly promoted, well-publicized interview covered many subjects, but I was surprised that Oprah stayed away from the good stuff, or at least what seems most interesting for a hopeless romantic like me who knows nothing about competitive cycling (but is addicted to Downton Abbey and Jane Austen): his love life! Armstrong has certainly been a cad to his teammates, trainers, sponsors, and anyone else he’s sued or insulted (and I love his defense of all the horrid things he said about his teammate’s wife, claiming as long as he didn’t say she was ‘fat’, all the other names he called her were okay). But he’s been spectacularly awful to his romantic partners, dumping his first wife for a glamorous rockstar, whom he then very publicly dumped because she wanted kids, ironically next taking up with a child star (okay, Ashley Olsen was an adult by that point but she still looks like a teenage waif), and then adding insult to injury by having two kids with the newest girlfriend.
I’m hoping the resilient and talented Ms. Crow will pull a Taylor Swift and write some devastating new song about Armstrong’s betrayal of her, but in the meantime, I’ve taken a stab at it myself.
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET
When people need a break from partisan politics, economic woes, traffic, overflowing email boxes, and the other challenges of modern life, many turn to the usual methods of escape – football playoffs, the 2-for-1 happy hour martini special, or catching up on “Say Yes To The Dress.” But for many of us, the ultimate escape is Downton Abbey, the PBS costume drama that has surprised even public t.v. fans and become a runaway cult hit.
And our devotion to the show can border on obsession – so to tell if you’re totally hooked, here are a few questions:
– Do you think Lord Grantham is blind to Thomas’s scheming, or just misses Bates so much that he doesn’t notice?
(and bonus point: Can you pronounce ‘valet’ properly?)
– Have you ever wondered how Daisy has worked in the kitchen at least since 1912 and by 1920 hasn’t found another job, used any of the money she got as a war widow, or in fact aged one bit?
– Was Lady Mary technically a virgin on her wedding night? (Which involves answering whether Mr. Pamuk’s heart attack was before or after they did or didn’t do anything, as well as debating whether Mary secretly wanted him to come to her room.)
– Have you started referring to Sybil’s husband as ‘Thom,’ or is he still ‘Branson’ to you? (And before they eloped, how many times did you watch a scene with them and shouted to the television, “Just kiss her already!”?)
– Will O’Brien ever confess about the bathtub episode which caused the miscarriage?, or if not, will she at least update her bangs?
– How does Anna get so much time off (to sleuth for her unjustly incarcerated husband) yet still manage to be both head housemaid and lady’s maid to the two girls?
If you understand these questions enough to answer any of them, then yes, you’re a Downton Abbey addict. However, if the questions make absolutely no sense to you and you fail to see the appeal of what sounds like a silly soap opera, try to see it from a fan’s point of view. Of course it’s silly, and like all good soap operas it’s full of ridiculous plot twists, overly convenient coincidences, and sappy, manipulative moments that make you cry even while you’re thinking, this is stupid.
BUT – and this is the key point – – also like a good soap opera, the characters engage the audience. Villains we love to hate, persecuted martyrs we root for, unrequited lovers we want to unite – Downton Abbey has all those and more, including the resident font of brilliant sarcasm, the Dowager Countess (and bonus points if you know her first name is ‘Violet’ but she should still be addressed as Lady Grantham even though Cora has superceded her as Countess). Plus Downton gilds all those soap opera traditions in a lovely veneer of historical details, fabulous period costumes and mellifluous English accents – so we get to feel intelligent while indulging in a guilty pleasure. Haven’t you ever known someone with a British accent, who can make even the most banal statement sound erudite? ( “Dahling, I’m terribly afraid that one must go to the loo” sounds ever so much more elegant than “I gotta pee.”) And we don’t mind the silly plot twists when the characters are dressed so beautifully (although am I the only one who wonders if they’re wearing equally period-authentic undergarments?) or using what look like real antique kitchen tools and feather dusters. Add in the magnificent Maggie Smith, who could read the phone book and make it witheringly brilliant, and it’s no wonder the show is such a success.
So here’s my version of the theme music (which is actually pretty strange and more suited to a Hercule Poirot mystery) in tribute to Downton Abbey fans and the people who love them but don’t quite understand them . . .
The decorations are down, the kids are back in school, and the New Year’s resolutions have already been broken – yes, it’s time for the post-holiday blahs. But before you sink into a pit of January despair, feeling like there’s nothing fun coming up for ages, here are a few ‘glass-half-full’ thoughts to help keep your spirits up.
– You don’t have to listen to any more Christmas carol muzak until at least next Halloween.
– It’s much harder to get a sunburn in cold, foggy, gray weather
– You have over 300 shopping days left.
– The dreaded ‘fiscal cliff’ turned out to be as anticlimactic as Y2K
– The kids are no longer sleeping til noon and then complaining they’re bored.
– Your inlaws have all gone home.
Meanwhile, there are tons of minor Jewish holidays coming up which we are happy to share with everyone else. In fact, it feels like we have one every other week, although most of us couldn’t define more than a handful. So with this week’s video, I’ve tried to clarify some common themes among Jewish holidays, as well as providing some upbeat gospel music to start the New Year on a positive note. (And yes, I know Jewish gospel music is an oxymoron, but this is the era of fusion where genres and ethnicities get blended in everything from social groups to cuisine, so think of this as fusion Jewish gospel . . . )
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Dec 31, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Disclosure and children.
How much is too much?
How little is not enough?
As with most things, it’s a delicate balance and specific to the situation. One never should like to ones children. But one should probably never disclose gratuitous details that weren’t specifically requested.
For example, a few weeks ago my son and I were on the topic, somehow, of Christmas song and which ones were probably best known.
I told him that Bing Crosby’s White Christmas was recognized as the greatest Christmas son ever –and had sold more records than any other Christmas song by far.
That was an “appropriate, informative, and measured response” to share with my 18 year old.
What I didn’t share with him is that my favorite Christmas song of all time is Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC.
I just can’t resist the lyrics,
“It’s Christmas time and we got the spirit
Jack Frost chillin, the orchas out?
And that’s what Christmas is all about
The time is now, the place is here
And the whole wide world is filled with cheer”
And
“My name’s D.M.C. with the mic in my hand
And I’m chilling and coolin just like a snowman
So open your eyes, lend us an ear
We want to say: “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!”
But to have shared that, in my view, would have been a “parental over-share.”
Even thought its true.
By Lauren Mayer, on Wed Dec 26, 2012 at 3:00 PM ET
The two parties seem even farther apart these days, between the fiscal cliff negotiations falling apart and all the other standard political standoffs. But the sort-of-good news is that there’s finally an issue on which there is some bipartisan agreement. Once the NRA came out with its ludicrous ‘solution’ to school shootings, there were several moderate Republicans joining in the call for the type of things that even most NRA members agree on (more effective background checks, enforcing current laws, banning high-capacity ammo clips and assult-style weapons). Of course, the NRA has subsequently refused even to discuss anything relating to guns – but I am heartened by the number of politicians on both sides who are standing up to the gun lobby and saying, whoah, hold on, banning terrorist watch-list suspects from buying a gun is not an assult on your 2nd Ammendment rights (and that’s presuming the founding fathers meant not just muskets, but semi-automatic assult rifles?)
So I’m heartened by the beginning signs of bipartisanship – even though it may be more like becoming friends with that co-worker you’re not crazy about, but you’re united in your mutual loathing of the boss. Still, it’s a start. However, I’m also terrified at the prospect of a society in which we need armed guards in every classroom. (Of course, I’m a wimp – I can’t even watch mildly scary movies) So here’s a song imagining how we’d explain this to our kids . . . )
