"The Greatest" Belongs in Kentucky's Capitol Rotunda

Please sign the petition below to remove the statue of Jefferson Davis currently in Kentucky’s Capitol Rotunda, and replace it with a tribute to Muhammad Ali, “the Louisville Lip” and “the Greatest of All Time.”

(If you need some convincing, read this piece, this piece and this piece from Kentucky Sports Radio.)

"The Greatest" Belongs in the Kentucky Capitol Rotunda

[signature]

807 signatures

Share this with your friends:

   


Latest Signatures
807dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
806dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
805dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
804dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
803dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
802dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
801dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
800dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
799dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
798dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
797dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
796dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
795dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
794dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
793dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
792dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
791dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
790dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
789dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
788dTjdNQKi dTjdNQKiSan Francisco, AlabamaJul 21, 2024
787Adam OkuleyLouisville, KentuckyJun 10, 2020
786Kristen ClarkWalton, KYJun 10, 2020
785Stephi WolffLouisville, KYJun 10, 2020
784Angela DragooLexington, USJun 10, 2020
783Tommy GleasonLouisville, KYJun 09, 2020
782John StallardLexington, KYJun 09, 2020
781Nelson RodesLouisville, KYJun 09, 2020
780Ben LesouskyLouisville, KentuckyJun 09, 2020
779Vince LangFrankfort, KentuckyJun 09, 2020
778Joy BeckermanSeattle, WashingtonJun 09, 2020
777Eleanor SniderVersailles , KentuckyJun 09, 2020
776John HubbuchLovettsville, VAJun 08, 2020
775Elizabeth DiamondBaltimore , MDJun 08, 2020
774Joshua OysterLouisville, KYJun 08, 2020
773Chris kellyLexington , KentuckyJun 08, 2020
772Victoria BaileyAustin, TexasJun 08, 2020
771Ola LessardBellingham, WashingtonJun 08, 2020
770Alexis SchumannUnion, KentuckyJun 08, 2020
769Howard CareyAustin, TXJun 08, 2020
768Pat Fowler Scottsville , Kentucky Jun 08, 2020
767Joseph HernandezKYJun 08, 2020
766Katelyn WiardLexington, KYJun 08, 2020
765Morgan SteveLexington, KyJun 08, 2020
764Alan SteinLexington, KYJun 08, 2020
763Kathleen CarterParis, KentuckyJun 08, 2020
762Tanner NicholsLouisville, KYJun 08, 2020
761Sarah KatzenmaierLEXINGTON, KYJun 08, 2020
760Kendra Kinney07052, NJJun 08, 2020
759Shelby McMullanLouisville, KYJun 08, 2020
758David Goldsmith Harmony , Rhode IslandJun 08, 2020

UPDATE (Monday, December 1, 2014 at 12:01 PM)

I just heard from the Ali family: It is the Champ’s belief that Islam prohibits three-dimensional representations of living Muslims. Accordingly, I have adjusted the petition to call for a two-dimensional representation of Ali (a portrait, picture or mural) in lieu of a statue.

UPDATE (Tuesday, December 2, 2014)

In this interview with WHAS-TV’s Joe Arnold, Governor Steve Beshear endorses the idea of honoring Muhammad Ali in the State Capitol (although he disagrees with removing Davis).  Arnold explores the idea further on his weekly show, “The Powers that Be.”

Click here to check out WDRB-TV’s Lawrence Smith’s coverage of the story.

And here’s my op-ed in Ali’s hometown paper, the Louisville Courier-Journal.

UPDATE (Saturday, June 4, 2016)

In the wake of the 2015 Charlestown tragedy, in which a Confederate flag-waving murderer united the nation against racism, all of the most powerful Kentucky policymakers — U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell, Governor Matt Bevin, Senate President Robert Stivers and House Speaker Greg Stumbo — called for the removal of the Davis statue from the Rotunda. Today, as we commemorate last night’s passing of Muhammad Ali, there is no better moment to replace the symbol of Kentucky’s worst era with a tribute to The Greatest of All Time.

UPDATE (Wednesday, June 8, 2016):

Great piece by Lawrence Smith of WDRB-TV in Louisville on the petition drive to replace Jefferson Davis’ statue in the Capitol Rotunda with a tribute to Muhammad Ali.

UPDATE (Thursday, June 9, 2016):

Excellent piece on the petition drive by Jack Brammer that was featured on the front page of the Lexington Herald-Leader.

Highlight of the article:

Miller said he has received a few “angry comments” on his call to honor Ali.

“One of them encouraged me to kill myself,” he said. “You can quote me that I have decided not to take their advice.”

UPDATE (Friday, June 10, 2016)

The petition drives continues to show the Big Mo(hammed):  check out these stories from WKYU-FM public radio in Bowling Green and WKYT-TV, Channel 27 in Lexington:

UPDATE (Saturday, June 11, 2016):

Still not convinced?  Check out this excerpt from today’s New York Times:

13422454_10102888347415421_7263784230365071311_o

Liz Roach: Bourbon Classic, Round 2

Liz RoachWhen “pixie dust” is a featured part of a dish, you know you’re in for an amazing taste experience.  Sprinkled atop smoked oysters, the magical ingredient conjured up an award for “Best Classic Small Plate” for Chef Levon Wallace at this year’s Bourbon Classic event.  Chef Wallace (formerly of Proof on Main in Louisville, Kentucky) has now moved to Nashville, Tennessee to work for Cochon Butcher, but the memory of his and other bournon-tinged creations lives on.

Set at the Kentucky Center for the Arts in Louisville, this year’s Classic again delivered an unforgettable program of smoothly finished events. The opening night featured an array of mouth-watering dishes and beguiling cocktails, such as Diane Rehm of Feast’s concoction of apricot and black pepper bourbon sour featuring Russell’s Reserve 10 year. Chefs and bartenders expertly paired dishes and signature drinks in two categories (classic and contemporary) to compete for the coveted Bourbon Classic barrelheads.  Following the competition, attendees headed across the street to Chef Edward Lee’s restaurant Milkwood for the after-party and additional cocktails (because really, there are never enough).

2015-02-21+20.02.02On Day two, participants filed into “Bourbon Classic University” classes, where they honed their knowledge on topics such as country ham and bourbon pairings and bourbon flavor profiles.  A highlight of the day occurred in John Shutt of Blanton’s workshop, where he expounded on the art of entertaining with whiskey (which requires thoughtful consideration, if you do it right). In between classes, a master distillers session featured a gathering of the greats giving their thoughts and stories. The event ended with another round of bountiful food and bourbon, as guests congratulated themselves on surviving another year with intact livers and improved palates.

Planning has already begun for next year’s Bourbon Classic, which will take place in the winter of 2016. Click here for details.

Lauren Mayer: Rand Paul Isn’t Sexist (He’s A Jerk To Everyone)

Senator Paul’s presidential campaign got off to a rocky start last week, with his constant issues with the media (and reminding everyone of the episode several weeks ago where he patronizingly ‘shushhed’ a female journalist).  He may not have been quite so patronizing to male reporters, but at least he managed to prove that his obnoxious behavior wasn’t limited to women.

I’m far more offended by his actual policies than his behavior – for a supposedly libertarian renegade, he hews quite closely to the far-right agenda of trampling on reproductive choice, gay rights, etc. – but as a satirist, I have to acknowledge him for said behavior, since it is what we in the business call ‘comedy gold’.

Josh Bowen: Food Prep 101

“You either prepare to succeed or prepare to fail…there is no in-between.”

joshYou have great intentions. You want to eat better. You want fitness results. But you didn’t bring any food to work today. So you go out with the rest of the crew and eat Mexican.

Is this you?

I am prepared to take you through a course of food preparation. But first lets digress on why you would prepare your food:

1. Selection- I find that clients that prepared their meals ahead of time select better foods. Clients that do not prepare meals, tend to select whatever is available. Selecting whatever is available is a great way of messing with your fitness results. Need help grocery shopping? Check out this grocery list http://eepurl.com/bbcDCH

2. Cost Effective- Today I fixed 3lbs of chicken and a half pound of rice. This will last for 10-12 meals. The total cost $60 or $5-6 per meal. To eat out and get the same meal would cost $10-15. That is a savings of $5-10 per meal. In other words, prepare your meals.

3. Results- Everyone wants results but few are willing to do what it takes to get them. If you want results, prepare your meals. It is that simple.If you must eat out, check this out on steps to eating out http://eepurl.com/bc_ACD

Now let us get down to the “nitty gritty” on how to prepare your food.

1. Prepare ahead of time- Take a day or two and prepare your meals for the week. Plan what you are going to have (in accordance of your goals) each day and only cook what you need. This will save you so much more time and headache and at the end of the day..money.

2. Keep it simple- Do your best to keep it simple. A great protein source, a steamed vegetable and a small amount of carbohydrates (depending on goal) is a great way to prepare your meals.

3. Variety- If you want variety for taste purposes, use different seasoning and sauces to switch it up. Keep the additives to a minimum but also it is important to have fun with your meals. Getting a cookbook and trying different recipes is a great idea as well. A resource is my friend Kate. She an author and chef and you can find out more about her at http://simplynutritiousbykate.com/

4. Fun- Try you best to look at this as fun, rather than a chore. This process is to help you see fitness results and keep you on track and more efficient.

For your enjoyment, here are some of my lovely clients food prep pictures:

food prep 2

food prep 1

food prep 3

Josh Bowen: 10 Rules for Fitness Success

joshI want to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You’re probably thinking I’m Jack Nicholson in the A Few Good Men. No, I’m just JB and I have to tell you truth, the cold hard facts. Nutrition will always stand in your way from being a success or a failure in your fitness journey. It is the rule, science backed, and JB approved. You CANNOT out exercise your diet. So, why do people overeat and make bad nutritional decisions? Well planning and preparation are everything and those that do not plan, fail. It is that simple.

You must plan your meals ahead of time to be a success. Eating habits play a huge role as well. Habits are powerful behavioral patterns that allow us to perform many of our daily tasks without conscious effort. Translation, sometimes what we think we are eating is actually good for us! That’s scary! Social pressure from our inner circle can influence the way we approach our diet on a daily.

Last and most important people overeat for emotional escape. There is a strong correlation between “comfort foods” and making humans feel good. Refined sugar, sodium, high saturated fat filled food causes our brain to release serotonin. This causes our bodies to relax and feel good. This becomes a behavior and not a physiological need for food. After a stressful day, people tend to throw the rule book out the window and eat whatever makes them feel better. Not good.

So with that said here are The Rules, that if followed can produce some great results.

The Rules

Rule #1

Preparation
Prepare all meals in advance regardless of location. Coolers, bags, Tupperware etc. Must prepare for success and not prepare to fail. Most important rule. If this is absolutely out of the question refer back to this article for strategies for eating on the go http://eepurl.com/bc_ACD or this on what to eat out http://eepurl.com/8AjIn

Rule #2

Breakfast- Must be the largest meal of the day. Breakfast literally means to break the fast. When our bodies sleep we utilize glycogen from our liver stores to keep our blood glucose levels normal. When we wake up our body requires glucose to revitalize our body and allow our brain to function at a high capacity. Also, eating breakfast prevents overeating the rest of the day. This will get our metabolism moving for the rest of the day.

Rule #3

Choose a Cut Off Time- This is more behavioral than physiological. Start by setting a cut off time for when you will stop eating. At first, start with 8 pm and progressively move it up til you are eating dinner at 6 pm and not eating again to the next morning (if you workout late at night, adjust the time because you need post workout nutrition). This discourages late night cravings which can destroy our diets. This will get clients in the habit of cutting off their eating habits at a certain time for maximum weight loss. Dinner must be 1/3 smaller than breakfast for optimum weight loss.

Rule #4

Drink Water- water plays a part in most physiological aspects of our body, from anabolism to washing waste out our body. YOU MUST drink water and lots of it. 10 glasses a day will not cut it. Shoot for a gallon every day. The more water you ingest the less your body retains. View this article for more on water http://joshjbbowen.com/2012/12/31/the-old-gallon-jug/

Rule #5

Squat- Simply put DO IT!!! Squatting is primal movement pattern we have been doing since we learned to walk. It involves virtually every muscle in your body and quite frankly is a must for anyone. Read more about it here http://eepurl.com/–1Lz

Rule #6

Eat Fiber- Fiber’s most important property is it helps regulate blood sugar levels. Also helping the body in ridding certain waste. 30-40 grams.

Soluble- dissolves in water. Oats, legumes (beans, peas and soy beans) apples, bananas, berries, barley

Insoluble- whole wheat bran, nuts, seeds, skin of fruits and veggies.

Rule #7

Stress: Manage it!- Stress can be a huge culprit in preventing weight loss and eventually leading to weight gain. We either do not eat or over indulge because of our stress levels. Worse, our bodies release a hormone called cortisol that cannibalizes our muscle tissue as well as slowing our metabolism. Learn more about your hormones and how they impact your body fat loss and retention here http://eepurl.com/7YX6b

Rule #8

Limit Alcohol Consumption- People are more likely to eat 20% more calories while drinking alcohol. Alcohol is a toxin to the human body that must be eradicated before any other nutrient. Thus slowing down the breakdown of fat and carbohydrates, slowing the metabolism. Limiting this even 50% will have amazing turn around effects.

Rule #9

Limit Refined Sugar- sugar increases the rate the pancreas releases insulin, thus causing an imbalance. If it is not required by the body it is put into storage. Devoid of 90% of its vitamins and minerals contributing to an ineffective metabolism and poor recovery and weight control. Also inhibits the release of growth hormones depressing the immune system. Increase ingestion will increase inflammation of joints requiring more time for recovery.

Rule #10

Work out 3-4 days per week. Preferably mostly resistance/strength training based programming with concentration on whole body lifts (squats, deadlifts, lunges, pushups, presses). More muscle, less body fat. The equation is simple, backed with proper nutrition and you have a recipe for success.

The combination of all 10 of these guidelines would make a dramatic difference in who you are and who you want to be. The question is the execution. You’ve got it!

Lauren Mayer: Comedians’ Dreams Sometimes Do Come True

Frequently, in political satire truth is so much stranger than fiction that it makes my job a simple matter of setting reality to music.  If I were to write a fictional character who was so clueless, he didn’t bother to secure basic variations of his domain name, and so egotistical that he compared his science denial to the principled stance of Galileo (and then completely mis-represent Galileo’s breakthroughs), no one would take me seriously.  Which is why satire is almost always the best response to political shenanigans.

Ted Cruz’s first week as a declared candidate was like something out of a Monty Python routine.  So here’s a fitting musical tribute:

Last Night’s UK/Notre Dame Game — in Tweets

Josh Bowen: Pour a Little Sugar…Out

Humans have been using sugar since the 5th century. And since that time, humans have been consuming it in record amounts. In fact in 1801, historians estimate each American consumed 8.4 pound of sugar each year. In 1909, Americans consumed 85 pounds of sugar a year (6 lbs of corn sweeteners, 80 lbs of cane and beet sugar). In 1999 Americans consumed 151 pounds of sugar (84 lbs from corn sweeteners). Oh and by the way a person dies from Type 2 Diabetes every 7 seconds and it wasn’t officially discovered until 1935! Wow! There is a direct relationship to the amount of sugar one ingests to the potential for contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

Sugar is very debilitating to the human body, causing hormone issues and ultimately leading to Type 2 Diabetes. It is also very addicting. Princeton University did a study and found that sugar has the same effects on the brain as cocaine and other street drugs do. “Our evidence from an animal model suggests that bingeing on sugar can act in the brain in ways very similar to drugs of abuse,” says lead researcher and Princeton psychology professor Bart Hoebel.  Some of this information may surprise you, as there are a lot of myths out there as it relates to sure. Here are a few, with the real story.

Both “reduced sugar” and “No added sugar” mean the product has no sugar? NO

FDA allows the term “reduced sugar” on all products that have 25% less sugar than the leading brand. Meaning that the product could still have 75% of the sugar content of the original formula. “No added sugar” is used for a variety of foods with naturally occurring sugars such as jams, jellies, yogurt, milk, tomato sauce.

Low sugar

If a food is labeled “sugar free,” it contains no sugar? Not necessarily

“Sugar free” foods can legally contain trace amounts of sugar (less than .5 grams per serving). Meaning 1/8 of teaspoon of sugar might be in the food you are eating. If you consume one serving its no big deal, but if you are eating several of these items it could add up.

 “Low fat” and “Fat free” mean “Sugar free?” False

Low fat yogurt is a perfect example, low in fat but high in sugar. It is possible the product could have more sugar than its high fat counterpart. Many low fat muffins, breads, cookies and salad dressings have more sugar than the regular product. Many of these products also contain health harming artificial sweeteners.

Raw sugar, brown rice syrup, and maple syrup are better for you than refined sugar? No

This is a way manufactures fool consumers by capitalizing on their desire for natural sugars. Raw sugar and maple syrup have different flavors but their nutritional value is no different than plain table sugar. They are all metabolized like sucrose raising blood sugar levels and suppressing the immune system.

Fruit juice concentrates are better for you than refined sugars? False

Foods containing orange, pineapple, or other fruit concentrates may look healthy but they are metabolized in the same way as refined sugars. Fruit concentrate is stripped of its vitamins and minerals, fiber.

Honey is much better for you than sugar and we process it differently? Not true

Honey is made up of 1/3 fructose, 1/3 glucose, a little maltose and water. Honey is more concentrated than sugar. It has 5 grams of sugar per teaspoon versus 4 grams for table sugar. Some studies even have shown that honey raises your glucose levels higher than table sugar and suppresses your white blood cell count more.

Sucrose is natural? NOPE

In its natural state sugar would be a 20 foot cane stalk. Natural means you can pick it off a tree or bush or dig it out. To make sugar, sugar they have to add hydrocholoric acid or sulfuric acid to rid it of impurities. In addition, sodium nitrate or salt is added as are chlorine and other harmful agents.

Anything labeled “All Natural” is better than anything refined? No

There is no legal term for using the word natural under US food law. Companies can call anything natural that they want. In fact some sweeteners are made from all natural ingredients but are highly concentrated sources of sugars

Fructose comes only from fruit? No

Fruit consists of many sugars, only one of them is fructose. Fruit also contains glucose, dextrose, maltose, galactose. You can also get fructose from processed foods and beverages as well as pharmaceuticals, flavors and cosmetics. Fructose typically is chemically refined from corn in the US. People get it confused because they think of fruit. Fructose is more readily metabolized to a form of triglycerides in the liver and in the blood.

Sweeteners are ok to use in substitute of sugar? No

Most popular sweeteners used today:

High fructose corn syrup

Sucrose

Brown sugar

Molasses

Maple syrup

Dextrose

Maltodextrin

Xytol

Honey

Splenda

Aspartame

These cause water retention and decrease potassium, causing the adrenal glands dysfunction because of the mineral imbalance.

sugar sigar

At the end of the day most of us (myself included) have physical goals related to decreasing our body fat. The first place I would start in that quest would be to evaluate the amount of sugar I took in. From here we can decrease as necessary to achieve our goals. Foods higher than 5 grams per serving of sugar would be the first I would dispense of. This is easier said than done but keep it simple and great things will come.

Greg Harris: The Kase for Kasich

Greg HarrisSpeculation about a Kasich presidential run is still very much alive and well, and deservedly so. By any objective measure, Ohio’s economic situation has improved greatly under his leadership, which was affirmed in his landslide re-election. Kasich has emerged as somewhat a maverick at a time when other presidential contenders are sounding very much alike in making appeals to a small base of the Republican party (with some exception for Jeb Bush and Sen. Rand Paul).

Governor Kasich stands out for a track record that no other contender can offer: a track record of effectiveness at the state and federal level. While many presidential hopefuls spout the need to cut spending and shrink government, Kasich actually led Congressional efforts to accomplish a balanced budget while in Congress. And Ohio’s economic recovery outshines that of Wisconsin, the home state of current frontrunner, Governor Scott Walker.

As a fulltime Governor, Kasich cannot camp out in Iowa. But he can distinguish himself from other candidates by tapping his inner-wonk and letting it shine. He would quickly distinguish himself by releasing a specified plan on exactly how he would balance the budget, which would quickly make the rhetoric of other challengers—lacking specifics—sound empty. Furthermore, Kasich can espouse at the national level what he is trying to do at the state level: convert from taxing income to taxing consumption.

A Kasich candidacy could spark a more deliberate policy discussion on tax reform. As I asked previously in the RP, does the income tax complement the American entrepreneurial spirit, or serve as its harness? Perhaps a national sales tax instead of income tax is more in line with the American experiment? Exempting the first $10,000 in worker earnings from payroll tax (FICA) could offset the regressive nature of a sales tax. The message of doing away with the IRS would certainly have appeal to Republican primary voters.

Policies that encourage savings, a real individual-level valuing of goods, and genuine control over what you earn and how you spend what you earn, should be part of some new reckoning with an economy that is ever changing. It also addresses hundreds of billions in uncollected taxes, and would not exempt the very rich if applied to financial transactions and capital gains.

More exciting still, such tax reform would have a strong cleansing effect on democratic institutions hijacked by powerful interests that currently manipulate the tax code to the advantage of elites that pay for their services—you know, the very institutions that were formed to give power to the people.

Kasich is currently fighting to return some of the money to Ohioans from the natural resources on which energy interests’ profit. A carbon tax on energy interests that likewise profit off our land could be used to reduce personal and corporate income tax rates, while incenting industries to reduce their carbon footprint.

A Governor Kasich presidential platform could be built on re-empowering the individual in an otherwise consumption-driven nation while bettering our economic and environmental well-being.

While the Governor wouldn’t capture the bank of big donors initially, his platform of substance would ride a wave of earned media and capture the imagination of much of the primary electorate by offering specifics where others only produce rhetoric. He would emerge as a reformer with results and a compassionate conservative in one.

In the process, Kasich would revive the long dormant Teddy Roosevelt wing of the Republican Party that is decidedly not in the pocket of special interests, and that cares about a clean environment and clean government. In so doing, he would appeal to a silent middle that does not currently have a home in the two-party system.

Lauren Mayer: Schadenfreude, Downton Abbey-style

I don’t generally take pleasure in the woes of others, but every now and then it is delicious to see someone get a much-deserved come-uppance.  Like when that speeding shmuck who cut you off 2 miles ago gets pulled over by a cop, or when a morality-preaching evangelical gets caught with his pants down.  So you can’t blame people for gloating a bit about the spectacular (and quick) downfall of resigned Congressman Aaron Schock – he used taxpayers and donors to finance a glamorous, jet-setting lifestyle having nothing to do with his district, and flaunted his exploits – and his abs – at every opportunity, on social media and magazine covers.  Not to mention his homophobic voting record, which as Barney Frank pointed out, actually does make his sexuality at least somewhat germaine.

And how fitting that Schock was a fan of Downton Abbey, a show about the lavish, glamorous lives of a soon-to-be-obsolete upper class . . .

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: March Madness Mittyism

jyb_musingsCall it pre-spring fever but every year in March (just before the basketball Madness begins), I break out with a serious case of roundball Walter Mittyism (James Thurber’s meek and mild-mannered fictional character with a daring and vivid fantasy life.)

Growing up in Kentucky means the usual childhood dreams of grown-up greatness inevitably include, at some point, imagined greatness as a basketball player. For the vast majority of us, basketball greatness never goes beyond the dreaming phase. But it’s a dream that continues to linger posthumously.

Kentucky basketball in March is a beautiful thing to behold. I suspect I am not alone in experiencing this annual psychological condition as our state’s college basketball teams emerge to dominate college basketball. The fever always passes but rarely before I experience obvious –and occasionally embarrassing – tell-tale symptoms.

This past Monday night I asked my 20 year old son Johnny to join me at a basketball court where we could play some competitive pick up games and he agreed.

As I strode onto the court, I imagined myself becoming transformed from a 5′ 8 1/2 middle-aged man in ” reasonably good health” (My doctors words) into a 51 year old basketball phenom who was about to dominate a new court playing against some unsuspecting innocent bystanders.

The other players on our pick-up team were impressive. In fact, daunting. They were regulars and probably played in high school and maybe even college. Two of them could dunk with little effort. As I took my warm-up shots from the range where Aaron Harrison strokes his tournament game winning 3-pointer jumpers, I imagined myself dishing a thrilling off-the-glass alley-oop pass to my one of my teammates who finishes with a thunderous dunk. My pass would be, I imagined, part John Wall, part Andrew Harrison and part John Y Brown III. After the dunk my teammate would find me on the floor and point as if to say “Nice pass, my man” and I would casually nod back (but without pointing) as if to say, “Nice dunk.”

My son Johnny was warming up with me but seemed more concerned about how successfully we’d match up with our fellow players on the court. After a few minutes, our pick-up game had begun.

And a few more minutes after that, our pick-up game had ended.

Political philosopher Thomas Hobbes would have described the game for our team as “Cruel, nasty, brutish –and short.” Dick Vitale would have simply said “Blowout, baby!”

Mostly, though, I didn’t care about the humiliating loss. I just wanted to steady myself against the court wall before collapsing or having to lie down on the floor to catch my breath.

One pick-up game, it turns out, was all I could handle last Monday. As we drove home, I said to Johnny in an forced upbeat voice (after having caught my breath), “Well…. I guess we did it. We played.”

“Uh, no Dad. We didn’t do anything.” Johnny responded slightly irritated with me trying to put a happy face on our disappointing performance.

“It was our first pick-up game in a long time. We are just rusty. That’s all.” I offered.

“Sure, Dad. If you say so.” Johnny said as be broke into a self-deprecating grin, “You know, even though I missed both my shots I was secretly hoping our teammates thought to themselves, ‘Hey, that guy may have missed his shot but he does have really nice shooting form. I hope he shoots again soon.’” Johnny laughed louder mocking his feeble fantasy.

“I think they probably did think that!” I offered compassionately. “You do have good form. Even great form. In fact, I was thinking that very thought when you missed your first shot.”

“You’re my dad. I can assure you no one else on our team had that thought” Johnny said shaking his head.

“Well, Johnny, when I shot my air ball I was secretly hoping the other players  on our team were thinking ‘Hey, that guy may have just shot an airball but he does have really nice shooting form. He probably just feels nervous right now since it’s his first shot of the game. That happens to all of us including me.  I’m not surprised at all he shot an airball. I hope he shoots again soon.”

I paused “Do you think the other players might have thought that after watching my airball shot?”

We both kept laughing at ourselves as we pulled into the driveway and we pledged for the remainder of March we would only play basketball on our backyard goal.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering about that stunning off-the-glass alley-oop pass to a teammate leading to a thunderous dunk? Well, it never happened. But it was a beautiful thing to behold. In my imagination anyway.

But there is a consolation for my annual March Mittyism.  Some Kentucky college basketball player will make a comparable stunning play this month and do so on national television as millions of roundball fans watch in awe. And that makes my delusional fantasies just a little less absurd because I, too, am a Kentuckian in March.

The Recovering Politician Bookstore

     

The RP on The Daily Show