Louis C.K. as Lincoln as Louie — Best SNL Skit in Many Moons (NSFW – Directors’ Cut)

I was thrilled when I heard that my favorite hot comic, the always edgy, sometimes painful, usually hilarious Louis C.K. was hosting Saturday Night Live this past weekend.

And while his monologue was brilliant, the following skit — in which he plays our 16th President in the same style as his eponymous show — was one of the LOL funniest things Saturday Night Live has done in some time.

Here’s an NSFW version, racier (and with more laughs) than the skit aired Saturday night:

The RP: A Closing Argument for Obama

My fellow Americans:

Let me close this campaign for re-election with an overdue apology.  Four years ago, when I first asked you for the extraordinary and humbling honor to be your President, I got a little carried away.  I was so caught up in the excitement of the incredible crowds, so moved by the remarkable and quite unexpected history we were making, that I promised you a vision that was not only impractical, it was by all measures unachievable.

Sure, all politicians make promises that they can’t keep; but despite my sincere belief in the goals that I shared with you in 2008, it would have been impossible for anyone to meet them.  And I apologize for setting those expectations too high.

Where I feel I let you down most was failing to achieve my vision of a post-partisan politics.  Like you, I continue to be fed up with our broken government, with the hyper-partisanship that polarizes and paralyzes our system, that makes tackling our nation’s most difficult problems nearly impossible.  I really believed that my presidency could transcend our mean-spirited and divisive status quo.

Unfortunately, I failed.  I certainly admit that some of the fault lies in my own hands.  I failed to do the little things: the intimate personal gestures mastered by Lyndon Johnson, or the brilliant employment of the bully pulpit demonstrated by Ronald Reagan.

But frankly, the larger problem was that I encountered an opposition that made bi-partisan problem-solving impossible.  As early as the night of the inauguration, GOP leaders were plotting to undermine, even destroy my presidency.  One was candid about it, when he admitted that “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”

It would be unfair, however, to simply blame the Republican party for this phenomenon.  While hyper-partisan obstruction by the opposition has never been worse than during this administration, it has been an enormous and growing problem over the past few decades.  Indeed, our current political incentive system forces most well-meaning public servants to adhere strictly to their party line simply to stay in office.  Compromise — the hallmark of our democracy — has become a dirty word.

I believe that it is time to change the incentive system.  We need to fundamentally alter the way we do business in Washington so that elected officials no longer will be shouting from behind their partisan bunkers, and instead will be reaching across the aisle to work with their colleagues to solve the nation’s most difficult problems.

That’s why, if you choose to give me a second term, I will call together congressional leaders of both parties to the White House next week, and ask them to join me in changing the culture of American politics.  I will bring to the table policy solutions that have been developed through diligent, bi-partisan work — proposals such as the Simpson/Bowles deficit reduction package and the Kerry-Graham-Lieberman climate change proposal — to serve as the starting point for negotiations to fix our country.

And, equally as important, I will ask them to endorse with me the ideas introduced by No Labels — a grassroots movement of more than 500,00 Democrats, Republicans and Independents — to Make Congress Work and Make the Presidency Work.  These proposals mostly don’t require new laws or new spending, and they don’t favor any party or particular cause. They are simple, straightforward proposals to break gridlock, promote constructive discussion and reduce polarization in Washington.

I can’t promise that Congressional leaders will sign on.  And that’s where you come in.  If they refuse to accept my olive branch, if they resolve to proceed with continued obstruction and hyper-partisanship, it will be up to the American people to make them pay the price.  I encourage you today, to sign on to No Labels to be prepared to apply pressure to all of your elected officials — including yours truly — to ensure that we promote problem-solving, not polarization; that we act not in the parties’ interests, but in the interests of the American people.

America truly reaches greatness when we all — elected officials and average citizens – – put aside our labels to do what’s right for the country.  It is about putting our community and our country ahead of our selfish, pedestrian interests.  And, in the words of the Scriptures, it is truly about loving our neighbors as ourselves.

My fellow Americans, if you give me a second term, I solemnly promise to fight my hardest to realize the post-partisan vision I painted during my first campaign.  With your help — and only with your help — we can lift this country together out of the political muck, and toward common higher ground.

The Experts Weigh In With Their Electoral College Predictions

(Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

 

 

 

If you haven’t entered the First Quadrennial Recovering Politician Electoral College Contest, you’ve got until tomorrow, Tuesday at 6:00 AM EST.  Here are the details for your chance to win 2 FREE lower-arena tickets to the defending national champion University of Kentucky Wildcat basketball team’s official home opener at Lexington’s Rupp Arena, versus Lafayette University, on Friday, November 16 at 7:00 PM.  Remember, the first step is to become a member of the RP’s new Facebook page, Facebook.com/RecoveringPol, and provide your predictions in the post marked “Designated RP Electoral College Contest Post.”  The award will be presented to the individual who most accurately predicts the final Electoral College vote, with tiebreakers of predicting the Senate and Housr partisan compositions after the election.

The 2008 Electoral College Map

As a service to all of you procrastinators out there, our experts — contributing RPs and friends of RP — have weighed in on their predictions.  You can choose to go with one of their picks, or stick with your own and feel smarter than a recovering politician.

So here goes.  Feel free to comment below, but remember according to the rules, only comments at the Designated RP Electoral College Contest Post at the RP Facebook page will be qualified for the grand prize.

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The RP:  Obama 303, Romney 235.  (Obama wins WI, NV, IA, NH, CO, VA and OH; Romney squeaks out the narrowest victory in FL); Senate: 50 Dems, 48 GOP, 2 Indy; House: 239 GOP, 196 Dems

Contributing RP Rod Jetton:

President–  Romney 277 and Obama 261.  Romney takes the true toss ups of NH, CO, IA and WI, while holding the safer states of FL, NC and VA.  Obama keeps OH, MN, MI, NV and PA.  The auto bailout keeps Obama with Ohio, but Ryan and the debates help Romney hold WI which Ohio is not required on their path to victory.  PA will be close but O will hold on there.  R wins popular vote 52-48. With unemployment at 7.9% and even worse, gas prices up over $3.50, it is amazing that any incumbent could even keep it close.  When we add in how Obama seemed to have a bit of the Bush 42 attitude of not really wanting to mess with a re-election campaign plus the Libya debacle it is hard to see Obama winning.  Romney is a solid steady campaigner that nobody loves, but he has a good resume and seems to be up to the job of fixing the economy.

Senate–  D-52 and R-46. (I-2)  The Republicans will pick up a few seats but the weak candidates will keep them from taking the majority.  My state of Missouri is a good example of that.  McCaskill was in bad shape and should have been defeated in 2012 but with all Akin’s messaging problems she is poised to survive.

House – R-237 and D- 198.  There will not be a big change in the House and Romney’s debates and October surge will help Republicans down ticket in many of the battleground seats.

Jordan Stivers (Friend of RP): Obama 280, Romney 258; Senate:  R-47, D – 51, I-2; House:  R-237, D-198

Contributing RP John Y. Brown, III: Election Day will be followed by Wednesday….and, if all goes as planned, followed by Thursday. Short of cataclysmic fallout on Tuesday night, Thursday more than likely will be followed by Friday. And then we will probably see something resembling what we used to call “the weekend.”

Friend of RP Zac Byer (traveling with VP GOP nominee Paul Ryan): My head still says Romney tops out at 256, but after visiting 6 swing states in the last 56 hours, and my gut says otherwise: Romney: 277, Obama: 261; 51 D, 47 R, 2 I; 238 R, 197 D

Contributing RP Jeff Smith: Obama 277, Romney 261; Senate: R-48, D – 50+2I; House: R-240, D-195

Ron Granieri (Friend of RP):  Obama: 280, Romney: 258; Senate: 51-49 Dems (with independents); House: 245-190 Reps

Contributing RP Nick Paleologos: Obama 275. Romney 263.

Steven Schulman (Friend of RP): Whatever Nate Silver says.

Contributing RP Jimmy DahrougObama 275, Romney 263; Senate: Dems 51 GOP 47; 2 Indy;  House: GOP 241  Dems 194

David Snyder (Friend of RP): Obama wins 290-248.  Senate – 51 Democrats 47 Republicans, 2 Independents.  House – 234 Republicans, 201 Democrats

Contributing RP Greg Harris: Obama: 332, Romney: 206 (Polls indicate presidential race is neck and neck among “likely” voters. Obama’s lead is greater among “registered” voters. These votes, under-represented in polling, will redound to Obama’s advantage in states like FL and CO.); Senate: R-44, D – 54, I – 2; House: R-232, D-203

Robert Kahne (Friend of RP): Obama: 332, Romney: 206. Senate: D:53 (inc 2 IND) R: 47. House: D: 205, Rep: 230

Contributing RP Jason Grill: Obama gets 294 and Romney 244; Senate – 52 D 46 R  2 I; House – 234 R 201 D.  

And watch this for more of Jason’s analysis:

Election Night: Join Former Pols in LIVE, Interactive Online Debate As Returns Come In

Tuesday night, beginning at 6PM EST, our contributing recovering politicians will be offering their instant thoughts on the election returns, speechifying and mainstream media coverage via Twitter. We will be broadcasting their live Twitter feed here on The Recovering Politician home page.

Even better, YOU are invited to join in the debate. You can participate in the discussion by using you own Twitter account and adding the hashtag #RecoveringPol to your tweets. We encourage you to participate through the evening, and please free free to engage, question, and challenge our contributing RPs.

So please join us Tuesday night at 6PM EST, until the wee hours Wednesday morning — and who knows, maybe even longer…

The RP: A Closing Argument for the Presidency

In his latest column in The Huffington Post, The RP introduces No Labels‘ newest set of policy proposals to promote problem-solving in Washington: Make the Presidency Work!  No matter who is elected tomorrow, we need a stronger chief executive in order to help fix our broken political system.  And No Labels has a plan to make this happen.  Read an excerpt:

Promises, promises.

President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney are certainly making plenty of them.

Recent experience, however, suggests they will have a hard time keeping many of their promises.

It’s not because either is intentionally lying (all the time); but rather, it’s because gridlock, obstructionism and hyper-partisanship have become the rule in Washington.

Chances are very good that whoever sits in the Oval Office for the next four years will have to deal with a Congress that is closely divided between the two parties. One party may control the House and the other the Senate. And, even if one party were to have a majority in both bodies, progress will be confined by Senate rules that make it almost impossible to pass anything unless 60 of its 100 members agree.

Historically, divided government can work. President Ronald Reagan, a conservative Republican, and House Speaker Tip O’Neill, a liberal Democrat, famously joined forces in the 1980s to shore up Social Security and pass comprehensive tax reform.

More than 50 years ago, President Eisenhower won support from a Democratic Congress to build the Interstate Highway System.

The Civil Rights laws of the 1960s passed only because a significant number of Republicans joined with Democrats in a common front against discrimination.

The common thread in every instance: Presidents and legislators who crossed party lines to put their country first.

In recent years, unfortunately, hyper-partisanship and political point-scoring have emerged as dominant themes. Over the last two decades, no matter which party held the White House, the opposition’s consistent, knee-jerk response was to “just say no” to almost anything the president proposed.

To be fair, some of the resistance reflected honest differences in policy. And, also to be fair, presidents also have often failed to reach out meaningfully to the other side.

But too often, the legislative paralysis has been simply a function of politics.

With a fiscal cliff threatening to derail the economy; a record budget deficit that threatens long-term prosperity; health care costs rising with no end in sight; challenges of immigration, energy, and global warming continuing to mount and fester; and an ever-present concern about potential terrorism on the homeland; it’s high time to change the environment in Washington so that the president and Congress we choose on November 6 can work together to solve problems.

No Labels, a grassroots movement of more than half a million Republicans, Democrats and independents, has introduced a set of proposals that would make it easier to get things done in Washington. Our Make the Presidency Work! action plan consists of 11 common-sense proposals that would help break the gridlock, by changing outdated rules and traditions that get in the way.

Click here to read the full column.

Click here to sign onto No Labels’ action plan.

The Scariest Part of Halloween: The Monster Math

No Labels co-founder, and former U.S. Comptroller General, David Walker, shares the scariest part of this year’s Halloween celebration:  the monster math:

Electoral College Contest: Win Two Tix to UK Basketball Season Opener

(Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

 

 

 

OK, RP Nation:  Here is your opportunity to win 2 FREE lower-arena tickets to the defending national champion University of Kentucky Wildcat men’s basketball team’s official home opener at Lexington’s Rupp Arena, versus Lafayette University, on Friday, November 16 at 7:00 PM.

(Note to the uninitiated: This prize is a big deal.  If you do not understand how big a deal this is, read Why Kentucky Basketball Matters.)

The award will be presented to the winner of our Electoral College contest — the individual who most accurately predicts the final Electoral College vote, with tiebreakers and stipulations listed below.

To win this prize, you must abide by the following instructions — which will be interpreted literally by the contest judge, me:

The 2008 Electoral College Map

1.  Go to The Recovering Politician‘s new RP Facebook Page, Facebook.com/RecoveringPol, If you haven’t already, “Like” the page.  No likey — no win.

2. Make your predictions in the Comments section of the “Official Contest Post” at the new RP Facebook Page, which is labeled very clearly as such.  Entries sent in by email or posted elsewhere will be disqualified.

3.  Only one entry per person. If you have more than one entry, only the most recent one will qualify.

4. Comments must be entered by 6:00 AM EST on Tuesday, November 6.  Entries made later will be disqualified.

5.  Your entry into the comments section of the Official Contest Post shall include:

  • Your prediction of the 2012 Electoral College tally.  I.e., Obama 269, Romney 269
  • First tiebreaker: Your prediction of the partisan composition of the Senate for the next session of Congress.  I.e., 50 Democrats, 48 Republicans, 2 Independents.
  • Second tiebreaker:  Your prediction of the partisan composition of the House for the next session of Congress.  I.e. 230 Republicans, 205 Democrats.

6.  Because recounts are very likely, particularly in Congressional races, to calculate the winners, I will use the vote tallies that are listed in the print edition of Thursday morning, November 8 New York Times.  While these tallies will undoubtedly be incomplete for many races, and winners will not be declared in several campaigns, whoever is leading as of the Thursday morning tally will be the winner for the purposes of determine our champion.

7.  The winner will be awarded my two awesome lower arena tickets (Section 23, Row RR) for the University of Kentucky’s home opener against Lafayette University on Friday, November 16 at 7:00 PM.  The winner will make arrangements with me to pick up the tickets or have them placed in will call. Transportation or any incidental costs associated with attending the UK game must be assumed by the winner of the contest.  And I ain’t paying for your dinner.

8. I retain the right to make all eligibility decisions and winner calculations, as well as the right to withhold the prize from any obnoxious Duke Blue Devil fan.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Travels to SoCal

Another day traveling by air.

Another day with mild to modest frustration with a major airline.

The major airlines seem more and more to remind me of a old school ma’arm, just waiting to slap you on the wrist for something inconsequential.

Mostly because they enjoy doing it…

And another day, thankfully, salvaged by Southwest.

The new cool substitute teacher that all the students love. And all the school marmy teachers hate.  ;  )

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In SouCal airports you see a lot of people who look like celebrities, carry themselves like a celebrity , and who want to be confused for a celebrity–but who are not a celebrity.

I think it’s fun.

The fun part for me is staring at them awestruck and looking like, carrying myself like and wanting to be confused for one of their fans.

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It smells good in California.

Even in the airport.

Clean.

It’s like people here shower two or three times a day.

Or use some sort of New Age magnetic device that repels dirt and dust and prevents perspiration.

It’s not quite human.

Like a fresh fruity well-toned  Droid  who just finished another colon cleanse.

I somehow worry that people I say hi too will suspect I don’t smell like one of them and know I’m not from here.

The  low level humming from my iPhone from the Black Crowes isn’t helping any either

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It’s a dog’s life —not!

Remember the bleak saying about every down-and-outer getting their moment, “Every dog has it’s day”? I doubt that gets used in SoCal.

As I pulled out of the airport into San Diego last night the one thing I noticed over….and over…. and, yes, over again…was the privileged life that dogs lead out here.

At least one in three people I saw out last night in a suburb near downtown San Diego were walking their well-groomed, poised and, frankly, self-confident dog(s). Not in a cutesy or ostentatious way, like Paris Hilton carrying a tiny lap dog in her purse as a sort of panting accoutrement. Rather it was a normal person finally acting like the “dog’s best friend” we’ve always promised to be but—as any dog you know will tell you—have not lived up to.

And that attention and connection with their human shows, too—shows in the way SoCal dogs carry themselves and interact with other dogs—and even humans. They have a carriage about them which says, “Welcome to my town. Notice my owner. Pretty cool guy, huh?” It’s like the dogs are as self-conscious of who is walking them as their owners are about impressing others with their choice and type and breed of dog.

It’s darn near like the dogs out her are treated as a separate but co-equal species to humans. When you see a person and their dog on a chain walking, it’s not like back home. It’s like a couple out to get ice cream. Sure, the human appears to have control of the leash, but I suspect if you look closely it’s some sort of mutual canine-human leash that lets the two co-equal species stay together but without holding hands, or paws.

Oh, and dogs aren’t left outside here when their human pet goes into a store. No hitching post for these darlings. The dog walks in with every right to be there as anybody else. And seems a little impatient because there isn’t a larger canine section.

And as much as I hate to admit it, these dogs can be intimidating to people visiting from out of town. A strong-and-silent type pit bull was in Rite Aid last night with a cute young couple for a walk. The dog was well-manicured and obviously a female because it had a little bow in the corner of its well-coiffed mane.  She began sniffing me—not like other dogs…but slyly as if by accident— and I instantly felt self-conscious when the dog looked up at me with these soft but probing and judgmental eyes. Although my new domesticated pit bull acquaintance didn’t say these exact words out loud, she was clearly thinking “You’re not from around here, are you? What….what kind of –whatever it is that you are….are you? And don’t even think about cutting in front of us in line. I’ll bite you and humiliate you in front of everyone. I’m still a dog, you know. Are we clear?”

I nodded affirmatively to the dog. I recovered my bearings long enough to realize something wasn’t quite right and mumbled, “Nice bow.”

The dog’s head whipped around as if to say, “What was that?!” “What?” I said. “I didn’t say anything.” The human owners looked oddly at me.

I offered, “Sorry. I wasn’t talking to you.”

It was the first time in a very long time that I felt like Junior from Hee-Haw stammering for something to say and knowing it would not be something appropriate or helpful. So I just kept quiet. And let this dog have its day. Like it does everyday in SoCal.

Read the rest of…
John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Travels to SoCal

New Policy at the Lexington Herald-Leader?

Despite being a proud, progressive Obama supporter, I frankly found the Lexington Herald-Leader‘s decision to run a minority view editorial on the presidential race refreshing. Allowing your readers to have both sides and then decide on their own is a good policy, one that is at the core of The Recovering Politician.

However, I am confused by a statement made within the minority editorial (linked here) that said Publisher Rufus Friday “chose not to use his power as publisher to overrule the majority.”

I’m confused because just a few inches below the editorial sits the editorial board policy which states that “Herald-Leader editorials are the consensus of the editorial board” of which the publisher is but one of 5 members.

Does the publisher always reserve the right to overrule the other 4 members? If so, will that be disclosed in the circumstance that he does? Is this a new policy or is this just the first time I was aware of it?If anyone knows the answers, please comment below.  Thanks!

Submit YOUR Closing Argument for Campaign 2012

As you may have noticed, we are only 11 days away from what some call the most important presidential election of our era.

OK, they say that every 4 years…but it is certainly clear that the American people are being offered two highly contrasting visions of the nation’s future.

This week, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are offering their closing arguments to the American people — summations of why they have earned your vote.

That’s why we are dedicating a week at The Recovering Politician to Campaign 2012: The Closing Argument.  Over the course of the week, a dozen of our contributors — of course, representing both sides of the aisle — will be making their own summations for the candidate of their choice.

And you can, too.  We are calling on the RP Nation to join in as well.  Send us a closing argument for your presidential candidate — Obama, Romney, or a 3rd party candidate if you prefer.  If it is only a paragraph or two — or just one strongly worded sentence — feel free to leave it in the comments section below.  If it is longer — up to a maximum of 1000 words — you can email it to Staff@TheRecoveringPolitician.com.  To ensure its publication, please send it to us by Noon, Thursday, November 1.

And who knows, maybe a campaign staffer picks up your ideas, shares it with the candidate, and you will have changed the course of American history.  Or perhaps you just get a kick sharing your thoughts with thousands of other readers across the country.

Either way, we’d love you to join us.

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