It’s always nice to get a fresh start in the new year. Below are 8 suggested style resolutions to help you abandon old ways and embrace new ones.
1) Incorporate color. Fall and winter are seasons for dark, moody colors, but Spring is the time to work in some pep and optimism. Try a solid shirt in an unexpected shade like this green above. Keep the rest of the look solid to avoid overkill (or eye strain).
2) Try a different brand. Too often what I see in new clients’ closets is a lack of variety. While it’s natural to stock up if something works for you, think outside the box in the new year, and experiment with new brands. One that I love is Todd Snyder, which now has a website from which you can order directly.
3) Shoe care. An easy way to get right in the new year is to have your shoes refurbished by a good cobbler. My go-to in NYC is The Leather Spa.
Read the rest of… Julie Rath: So Fresh and Clean in 2013
Welcome everyone to the #TeamRP versus #TeamJYB3 Fitness Challenge Extravaganza!
I will be serving as the resident fitness extraordinaire/referee/personal trainer. To increase your interest and to curve your appetite for all things funny and fitness, we will be documenting everyone that will be occurring between John Y. Brown III and Jonathan Miller on their quest to their fitness Mount Everest. We will also be supplying the most up to date fitness tips and tricks from yours truly.
Now who am I and why should you care about what I say? For the past 10 years I have dedicated my life to fitness; through training clients, educating trainers and writing fitness articles. I graduated from the University of Kentucky with a Bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science and along the way I have collected 15 nationally accredited certifications.
More important than all the accomplishments, my experience in dealing with most every situation imaginable holds to be the greatest aspect of me as a trainer. I am currently training at Fitness Plus 2, a training studio off Harrodsburg Rd. in Bellerive Plaza next to Kroger’s, on the Lexington/Nicholasville line
Now that you know who I am and what I do, let’s talk about the challenge. Jonathan and JYB3 will be competing to see who can influence the most amount of people to enlist into our fitness challenge. The challenge is simple, just pledge to workout and eat healthy for the next six months. On a weekly basis I will be emailing everyone in the challenge fitness tips and motivational quotes to keep everyone going. Also, everyone will be receiving a consultation, via email, with yours truly! I will also be offering discounted personal training session with me as we go along.
So join the challenge and see the changes both Jonathan and JYB3 go through on their quest to be in the best physical shape of their lives.
Happy happy happy new year! What a great time to think about what we want for ourselves.
Catching up on a few seasons of recorded television programs this winter break, I watched another Oprah’s Next Chapter and found some intriguing inspiration from her interviews with former Olympians: Carl Lewis, Bruce Jenner, Mary Lou Retton, (and my childhood gymnastics idol) Nadia Comaneci.
Despite having quit a promising career in ballet myself by age 6, despite having only ever hit foul balls in all my 4 years of girls’ softball, and having always been too afraid to kick my legs straight up from a bridge into an actual back-walk-over, I still recognize in myself some Olympic-status qualities.
Yes! I rock, it is true!
But really, we all have it. It’s woven into our DNA, and we see it even in new babies born too early, fighting to survive. Simply, it is one of the most basic of human qualities: Perseverance, and with a capital P.
While I have not persevered toward excellence in athletics, these Oprah interviews triggered my realization that I absolutely deserve some serious gold, or at least a bronze here and there, in a few significant areas of my life.
None of these athletes medaled before YEARS of training. Bruce talked about his 6 years of daily dedication, Mary Lou described her single-pointed focus, Carl said that he was never competing against people as much as he was competing against perfection itself.
Well I computed my own personal stats and it seems that I too have quite a record here. I’ve been a dedicated, focused, striving toward excellence mother for nearly 19 years. 19! My kids are in pretty good shape, so this is some measure of success.
Read the rest of… Lisa Miller: The New Year, Olympians & Perseverance
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Jan 1, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
“If we are going to survive this, you need to remember, fear is not real. It is a product of the thoughts you create. Now do not misunderstand me; danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”
–Will Smith, as a Dad to son in an upcoming survival sci-fi movie
I liken dating in the modern world to sci-fi survival in this sense. There is a lot of fear but not nearly as much danger as it would seem. People talk about the fear of meeting an axe murderer, but statistically speaking that is not likely. Getting rejected, on the other hand, is par for the course. So is succumbing to fear of rejection based on real danger or just a choice? And how do we determine where the line is?
Heartbreak is real. For some, it can be debilitating. But in dating, if you’re the one doing the rejecting and you’re never the “rejectee,” then you’re probably not aiming high enough. In true love situations, I believe that both people feel lucky. Both feel that their date is a little out of their league. And so it’s so exciting when it really happens. And so gut-wrenching when it crashes and burns.
My New Year’s resolution is to know the difference between danger and fear and to choose against fear. This is not easy; I may need some help. My stomach is no help- it would steer me away from everything. My mind is no help. I would obsess until the window of time had passed. My shame is no help. I’m letting go of shame. But acting shamelessly can sometimes leave me to embarrass myself or piss people off. Just ask the Gallaghers on Showtime.
My grammar auto-correct is green-lining “I may need some help.” Is that because I should be more sure about my needs? If I need help, it should be a definite. Maybe I don’t need help. Maybe I just need grit and determination. I also need a healthy dollop of faith, which is hard to come by these days. Luckily I have a reserve of faith that I saved for a rainy new year’s day, like a special bottle of wine in my cellar. Do have a faith cellar?
Try to find yours. Actually do not try. As Yoda says: “Try there is not. Do or do not.” Every time the universe throws you a bone- like a great date with someone who lives in another country- hold onto the good faith. Let go of the guy. Keep the faith perfectly chilled in your faith cellar until you find yourself in need of reserve. Thank the universe for giving you a taste of what is to come, rather than cursing the universe for taking it away. There’s more goodness where that came from, if you can choose against fear.
This year, make it your resolution to get rejected as much as you can. The more times you are rejected the closer you are getting what you seek. In sales, they say: “Every no leads you closer to a yes.” That is, if you can learn from your failures and improve. Do not seek perfection (that is foolish), but aim high. Disappointment comes when it comes, and it sucks as it always does. The fact that you didn’t get your hopes up doesn’t really make it better. You have to get your hopes up if you want anything good to happen. It’s your dream- make it big.
When I had my dating-café Drip and it reached its height of popularity circa 1997, customers said to me: “I’ll bet you never imagined your place would be like this!” And I was thinking: “Of course I imagined it- or it would never have happened!” I didn’t say that- I was trying to be polite. And I think that I had suppressed the fact that I had been terrified that it wouldn’t turn out how I imagined. I guess it’s like the pain of childbirth—we are programmed to forget that fear or we would never endure it again.
Read the rest of… Nancy Slotnick: New Year’s Resolution — Be Fearless
Collaborators are everywhere. You will find them in the gray areas between silos. Just look up from your current business model. Seek out difference and gather often across boundaries, disciplines, and sectors. Be open and be curious. Beware of random collisions with unusual suspects. Unless, of course, if you want to learn something new. In that case seek out innovators from across every imaginable silo and listen, really listen, to their stories. New ideas, perspectives, and the value creating opportunities are in the gray areas between the unusual suspects. And yet we spend most of our time with the usual suspects in our respective silos. We need to get out of our silos more.
It is human nature to surround ourselves with people who are exactly like us. We connect and spend time with people who share a common world-view, look the same, enjoy the same activities, and speak the same language. We join clubs to be with others like us. The club most worth belonging to is the non-club club. The most valuable tribe is a tribe of unusual suspects who can challenge your world-view, expose you to new ideas, and teach you something new. A tribe of unusual suspects can change the world if it is connected in purposeful ways.
It is easy to see the potential from enabling random collisions of unusual suspects. Just check out any social media platform.
Read the rest of… Saul Kaplan: Random Collision Theory of Innovation
With business casual all the rage in many offices, the pairing of dress shirts and pants is a hot topic. In some ways, this is actually easier than putting together an outfit where you’re considering suit (or blazer and pants), shirt, tie, and sometimes pocket square patterns. But still, based on empirical data (a.k.a. what I see when hanging out in clients’ closets), a lot of people get it wrong. Below are 7 quick and easy points to keep in mind when selecting a business-casual dress shirt and pants combo.
1) Avoid wearing striped pants with just your dress shirt. This tends to look a little “off,” like you broke your striped suit apart and wore just the pants themselves.
2) If you broke rule #1 and are wearing striped pants with just a dress shirt, don’t worry I won’t hunt you down. Just promise me that your dress shirt isn’t striped too.
3) If your pants have a pattern (plaid, windowpane, check, etc.), go with a solid shirt, and vice versa. Otherwise you border on looking clownish. Some fabrics are “tone-on-tone,” which means they have a subtle pattern to their weave, like a herringbone, but are still all one color. Fabrics like that read as solids and are perfectly fine to wear with patterns. See above how, viewed closely, there appears to be a pattern in the shirt, but overall it reads as a solid.
Read the rest of… Julie Rath: No Brainer Shirt and Pants Combinations
I have written several blogs and articles on the importance of strength training, particularly as it relates to women. I have documented the reasons why women should pick up the weights. However, for some reason, some people don’t get it. Some think they are a genetic marvel that if they look at a 40 lbs. dumbbell that their quads will expand and it will prevent them from wearing pants. Remember this; any man that works out would love for that to be their problem. I wanted to take the time to profess that Strong is the New Skinny
To back up my claim for those non-believers let’s look one strong hormonal difference between men and women:
Testosterone– this hormone has a huge impact on muscle tissue growth (as well as other interactions in the human body). Men, on average, will produce 20 times more testosterone than women. This of course will determine the amount of muscle tissue a person can grow. That also is not to say women cannot build muscle, it just means you cannot build as much or as fast as a normal man.
So I bring this up because I firmly believe that strength training is as important, if not more important, for women than it is for women. Let’s look at those reasons:
Decrease in Body fat- women who strength train will naturally have less body fat than those that don’t. That looks good! Its ok to have a little muscle J
Increase in Bone Mineral Density- Women are more susceptible to osteoporosis than men and strength training helps combat that. The loading of the bones causes the bones to become stronger and increases the density, warding off brittle and weak bones
It is great for your health- Research has shown that women that strength train are in better overall health than those that don’t. So pick up a weight and start going at it!
By Lauren Mayer, on Wed Dec 26, 2012 at 3:00 PM ET
The two parties seem even farther apart these days, between the fiscal cliff negotiations falling apart and all the other standard political standoffs. But the sort-of-good news is that there’s finally an issue on which there is some bipartisan agreement. Once the NRA came out with its ludicrous ‘solution’ to school shootings, there were several moderate Republicans joining in the call for the type of things that even most NRA members agree on (more effective background checks, enforcing current laws, banning high-capacity ammo clips and assult-style weapons). Of course, the NRA has subsequently refused even to discuss anything relating to guns – but I am heartened by the number of politicians on both sides who are standing up to the gun lobby and saying, whoah, hold on, banning terrorist watch-list suspects from buying a gun is not an assult on your 2nd Ammendment rights (and that’s presuming the founding fathers meant not just muskets, but semi-automatic assult rifles?)
So I’m heartened by the beginning signs of bipartisanship – even though it may be more like becoming friends with that co-worker you’re not crazy about, but you’re united in your mutual loathing of the boss. Still, it’s a start. However, I’m also terrified at the prospect of a society in which we need armed guards in every classroom. (Of course, I’m a wimp – I can’t even watch mildly scary movies) So here’s a song imagining how we’d explain this to our kids . . . )
“Yes, how did we get here? It behooves us to remember that others had to come before us slowly, slowly, slowly, each one living her life within the parameters of her era, painfully inching forward. “
I love the contribution of women in the arts! I watched an interview of Kerry Washington and Shanda Rhimes with Oprah yesterday, and I was inspired. What phenomenal women.
Kerry Washington is the first black woman to star in her own television drama in 40 years; only one other woman held this T.V-first before her. It was the 70’s in a show called, Get Christie Love!, starring Teresa Graves. This is surprising but as I think about all the shows I have loved, not one has featured an African American woman in a leading role.
In her ABC drama, Scandal, Kerry is a kick-ass “fixer”: part lawyer, part P.R expert, part White House crisis manager, and part clean-up-the-dead-bodies-mess go-to-person.
It turns out that art imitates life here fantastically! Finally, a black woman playing the dynamic role typically represented by men in our culture; but it’s Judy Smith, the real life former White House staffer on whom this character is based that makes this depiction special. Now in private practice, Smith is a crisis manager handling high profile cases that never seem to end. (see JudySmith.com and the recent Petraus case among many. She rocks.)
Struggling toward freedom in the movie Djengo Unchained, in theatres just this week, Kerry Washington takes women back a 150 years as she plays a supporting role as an American slave. While we might be used to the fact that actors have depicted the era of slavery for decades on the screen, what we tend to forget I think, is that African Americans were considered by constitutional standards at that time, to be just 3/5’s human.
Kerry Washington
This is a hard pill to swallow. And so, this historical truth juxtasposed with the accomplishments of North American women today, like Judy Smith, is astounding.
I was moved during Washington’s interview when she said that the character she plays in Scandal: respected, empowered, intuitive, brilliant, stands on the shoulders of the profoundly oppressed women who came before.
Yes, how did we get here? It behooves us to remember that others had to come before us slowly, slowly, slowly, each one living her life within the parameters of her era, painfully inching forward.
I think about this a lot, but I also forget this truth when I get wrapped up in all my first-world problems that seem so profound in the moment.
And of course I gain perspective as I think about what it means for my daughters to grow up with first-world problems. Compared to what our foremothers endured, and in the general context of how far women have come, I thank God for these first-world problems!
Finally, an additional snippet of conversation from this interview that resonates in my heart is about abundance. Oprah asked Kerry what it means to her to be one of the first to represent black women on network television in this way especially when so many others vied for the coveted role. Her answer: “If I succeed, I create the opportunity for more people to succeed. I am honored to rise to this challenge.” Her competitors’ responded, “Do us proud.”
I am white, educated, middle-aged, and this forward motion, shoulder-standing celebration represents me too—represents all of us.
Thank you grandmothers, great-grandmothers, great-great-great grandmothers, we are all honored and blessed that you have cleared a path for us.
By Nancy Slotnick, on Mon Dec 24, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET
I’m from Newton, Mass., which is not the same as Newtown, Conn. But as President Obama put it, Newtown is a town that could have been any town. It could have been any school. So it is the same. Our president also remarked that when he hears about these horrific events, he experiences them as a parent does. I did too. And besides the unspeakable grief that I allowed myself to feel but for an instant (it would have been too painful otherwise), I also felt wrath and indignation. (I may have gotten that from the Passover Haggadah — It did feel like a plague of the worst proportions.)
My indignation first went to all the usual suspects — the shooter himself, the card-carrying members of the NRA, even the inept mental health professionals who cannot identify a human ticking bomb when they see one. But then my wrath settled in on the root cause, the one that no one is talking about. I blame the mom.
I blame the mom for not knowing her son. I blame her for not seeing the signs. I blame her for not getting him help. I blame her for leaving guns in his reach. But most of all, I blame her for how he turned out. It is my belief, from what I know about psychology and what I have seen in four and a half decades of life, that a positive parental experience will not yield a suicidal psycho killer. Period. End of story.
My husband is a psychoanalyst in private practice and a clinical social worker and this is actually his theory, not mine. I have just tested it out in the real world as an anthropologist and it holds true.
Now I have no idea of what goes on behind closed doors in a murderer’s family, but I have seen in my coaching practice that torture begets torture. We have to start holding the moms responsible for their sons. I saw a school classmate of the shooter speaking on 60 Minutes. She said that he always kept to himself, he did not speak to anyone, ever. This is what the man-on-street interviews always say about the serial killers. But it’s always after the fact.
1) Incorporate color. Fall and winter are seasons for dark, moody colors, but Spring is the time to work in some pep and optimism. Try a solid shirt in an unexpected shade like this green above. Keep the rest of the look solid to avoid overkill (or eye strain).
Welcome everyone to the #TeamRP versus #TeamJYB3 Fitness Challenge Extravaganza!
More important than all the accomplishments, my experience in dealing with most every situation imaginable holds to be the greatest aspect of me as a trainer. I am currently training at Fitness Plus 2, a training studio off Harrodsburg Rd. in Bellerive Plaza next to Kroger’s, on the Lexington/Nicholasville line
None of these athletes medaled before YEARS of training. Bruce talked about his 6 years of daily dedication, Mary Lou described her single-pointed focus, Carl said that he was never competing against people as much as he was competing against perfection itself.
Try to find yours. Actually do not try. As Yoda says: “Try there is not. Do or do not.” Every time the universe throws you a bone- like a great date with someone who lives in another country- hold onto the good faith. Let go of the guy. Keep the faith perfectly chilled in your faith cellar until you find yourself in need of reserve. Thank the universe for giving you a taste of what is to come, rather than cursing the universe for taking it away. There’s more goodness where that came from, if you can choose against fear.
It is human nature to surround ourselves with people who are exactly like us. We connect and spend time with people who share a common world-view, look the same, enjoy the same activities, and speak the same language. We join clubs to be with others like us. The club most worth belonging to is the non-club club. The most valuable tribe is a tribe of unusual suspects who can challenge your world-view, expose you to new ideas, and teach you something new. A tribe of unusual suspects can change the world if it is connected in purposeful ways.
With 
It turns out that art imitates life here fantastically!
And of course I gain perspective as I think about what it means for my daughters to grow up with first-world problems. Compared to what our foremothers endured, and in the general context of how far women have come, I thank God for these first-world problems!
I blame the mom for not knowing her son. I blame her for not seeing the signs. I blame her for not getting him help. I blame her for leaving guns in his reach. But most of all, I blame her for how he turned out. It is my belief, from what I know about psychology and what I have seen in four and a half decades of life, that a positive parental experience will not yield a suicidal psycho killer. Period. End of story.