By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Aug 27, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
 It’s not fair to guys that they seem to have a monopoly on commitment issues. Even if this is territory that they have themselves claimed, they do themselves a disservice. Women’s commitment issues are much more subtle but often way more sticky and insidious.
When a guy is afraid to commit he will usually own it: “Yeah, I have commitment issues and I’m not really ready to settle down.” When that guy becomes ready, he usually doesn’t have to have his Cablight on for very long before he gets snatched up.
Women, on the other hand, usually think that they are completely available for a relationship, yet they will date unavailable men, be too picky, and the like. Those women often stay single for much longer. I guess it’s a tortoise and hare issue.
 So let’s be the tortoise for the moment.
How do you start noticing and owning your commitment issues?
Look for patterns. If every guy that you have broken up with in the last decade has gotten engaged in the next year after, then maybe the one with commitment issues is you.
Take a look at 3 factors-
1. your age (see this blog)
2. how many serious relationships you’ve had
3. how many times you’ve been in love
See if the profile of your lovelife (what I call your “dating resume”) measures up. Would you “hire” you based on that resume?
Read the rest of…
Nancy Slotnick: Fear of Commitment
By Erica and Matt Chua, on Mon Aug 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET Most days on the road we spent the majority of time trying to meet our basic physiological needs. Finding safe food, water and a place to sleep often took the entire day with no time to climb to higher levels of Maslow’s Pyramid. However, some countries made it easy. In Bolivia we had no problem finding a good meal, cheap- we headed to the markets.
Eating local fare is key to understanding a place’s culture and traditions. However, this doesn’t mean you have to dive headfirst into the most exotic dishes or sample something that is sure to make you sick- it just means broadening your horizons a little bit. Ask questions and have fun at the market. Remember this is the perfect opportunity to hang out with the locals.
The markets in Sucre, La Paz and Tarabuco are bustling, bright and spark your curiosity to explore further. They offer a wide variety of fresh and prepared foods at affordable prices along with textiles, juices and plenty of coca leaves. Rarely was I let down by meals at the market because I didn’t have to rely on a complicated game of charades to ask for what I wanted. I could point to the chicken and know that’s what would arrive on my plate.
Bolivian food is basic at best, but it’s hearty. The women that get up early every morning to create pot after pot of bubbling stew, steamed vegetables and heaps of pasta are proud of their food and often have a loyal following of regulars. I often would take a stroll around the tables to see what everyone was eating before I made my decision. I found I could trust the locals taste, so if they were all favoring the mystery stew that’s what I ordered too.
Read the rest of…
Erica and Matt Chua: Bolivian Markets
By Saul Kaplan, on Mon Aug 26, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET Innovators leap across learning curves exploring new ways to deliver value the way Tarzan swung from vine to vine across the jungle. Innovators thrive on the steepest part of the learning curve where the changing rate of learning is the greatest. Watch how innovators manage their careers and lives. They always put themselves on a steep learning curve. I know I always have. Staying on a steep learning curve is the most important decision criterion for any career decision an innovator makes. Along the way innovators make many career moves none of which are primarily about titles, offices, number of direct reports, or money. Innovators believe those things are more likely to happen if they keep themselves on steep learning curves. Every choice to take a new tack or direction is about the next learning curve. Innovators are self aware enough to know they do their best work while learning at a rapid rate and are bored to tears when they aren’t. Steep learning curves matter most.
I have known many people who sacrificed learning curves for money and other extrinsic rewards and in the long run most ended up unhappy. In my experience innovators who follow their passions and are in it for the learning always end up happier and making more money anyway.
 The tricky part for innovators is to know when to leap from one learning curve to the next the way Tarzan traversed vines to move through the jungle. Innovators get restless when any curve starts to flatten out. Instead of enjoying the flat part of the curve where it takes less effort to produce more output, innovators get bored and want to find new learning curves where they can benefit from a rapidly changing rate of learning. If the goal for innovators is to get better faster the only way to accomplish it is to live on the edge where the knowledge flows are the richest. It isn’t the most comfortable place to be. It’s understandable most suffer the pain of the steep part of the learning curve, not for the kick of learning, but to finally reach the flat part of the curve. No urgency to move to another curve once the plateau is reached. It is comfortable on the flat part of the curve where the workload lessens and rewards are only available to those that have paid their dues and put in the time to climb up the curve. Yet innovators seem to extract what they need from the steep part of the curve and leap off to do it again moving on to the steep part of the next curve just when the effort required to further climb the current curve gets easier.
Innovators are less interested in climbing further up learning curves than jumping from curve to curve. They are like Tarzan (no loin cloth jokes please) traveling through the forest by jumping from vine to vine. Innovators learn from each curve and cross-pollinate other curves with their interdisciplinary experiences. Innovators are disruptive to those clinging to a single learning curve. Picture the disruption caused while hanging on to a vine for dear life when Tarzan gives his bone jarring animalistic jungle cry before jumping on and swinging across the jungle leaping to the next vine. That’s how disruption works. Ideas from each learning curve are combined and recombined to create new ways to deliver value and solve problems. Hanging around on a single curve as the rate of learning slows down is no way to get through the jungle. Innovators with the benefit of leaping across learning curves will enable disruption and get through the forest faster. Maybe an innovator’s jungle cry like Tarzan’s would help speed the innovation process.
By Julie Rath, on Fri Aug 23, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
Sure, women are affected by what you’re wearing, but whether or not they swoon over you is about much more than that. Whether you’re new to the dating scene and ready to turn heads, or you’re in a relationship and want to show your partner the best version of yourself, read on for 8 tips on taking your attractiveness to the next level.
1) Don’t overdo the cologne. A small spritz on one or both wrists then a dab, wrist to neck, will do the trick. Also, make sure the scent you use works with your body chemistry. You can do this by testing it at the store then seeing if you still like the way it smells on you after half an hour or so. And if you wear aftershave, remember that has a scent too. It should not be overpowering, especially in combination with your cologne.
2) Everyone looks better when they smile. In order to make your smile as attractive as possible, it’s imperative that you take good care of your teeth. Have them whitened professionally or use an at-home system. Consider a retainer or Invisalign for crooked teeth.
3) Trim the hair around your eyebrows and ears as needed. Keep the rest of your body hair in check, including having the back of your neck cleaned up between haircuts.
4) Keep your nails clean and trim. Chewed up fingernails will make you look nervous, and dirty nails are just plain unappetizing.
5) Use a tongue cleaner and mouth wash to combat bad breath and carry breath strips or altoids when out on a date.
6) Be chivalrous. This one’s common sense, but it’s often neglected. It’s simple: hold the door for her, open her car door, and tell her she looks nice (in a non-slimy way).
7) I have a new client who mentioned that he has a flip phone. I’m not saying you need to have the latest and greatest of everything, but make sure you at least stay current with technology. An extremely outdated phone is not a good look!
8) Be confident in your appearance. When you look good (and you know it), you’ll naturally feel better about yourself. As a result, you’ll radiate effortless, positive energy and confidence, which becomes contagious and magnetic, and therefore others will respond to you with the same positivity that you reflect.
Do any of these tips resonate? In the comments below, let me know what strategy you’re going to try first and what tips you have to make yourself attractive.
By Jonathan Miller, on Thu Aug 22, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET We are so very proud that our resident personal fitness guru, Josh Bowen, has been named one the top 10 finalists in the 2013 Personal Trainers to Watch competition by Life Fitness. From their press release:
 SCHILLER PARK, Ill., AUGUST 21, 2013 – Life Fitness, a global leader in fitness equipment manufacturing, announces the top 10 finalists in the 2013 Personal Trainers to Watch competition, a program recognizing personal trainers around the world who demonstrate exceptional leadership, client support, motivation and inspiration. The 2013 competition generated more than 1,500 entries from 43 countries, from which emerged 10 elite finalists who will compete at Nuffield Health Fitness & Wellbeing Centre St. Albans outside of London on Sept. 27th to win the title of the world’s best Personal Trainer to Watch.
The top 10 Personal Trainers to Watch finalists are:
- Josh Bowen, Kentucky, USA
- Simone Campbell, Towradgi, Australia
- Melissa diLeonardo, Illinois, USA
- Cate Grace, Christchurch, New Zealand
- Stephen Holt, Maryland, USA
- Kim Ingleby, Bristol, England
- Mish McCormack, Wellington, New Zealand
- Epsilon Wong, Hong Kong, China
- Blake Robinson, Utah, USA
- Jean Mary Scott, Christchurch, New Zealand
“These finalists change their clients’ lives with their unbridled passion and commitment to healthy living and fitness,” said Chris Clawson, president of Life Fitness. “Their nominations were an inspiration to our judges. We look forward to bringing together these elite trainers and evaluating them first-hand as they share best practices and develop course material that can be used on our cutting-edge Synrgy360 functional training system.”
Finalists were selected based on personal values, innovative training philosophies, education and experience. Judges included experts from Life Fitness and its educational arm, Life Fitness Academy, as well as the American Council on Exercise (ACE), the International Confederation of Registers for Exercise Professionals (ICREPs), the European Health & Fitness Association (EHFA), and past competition winners, Joanne Blackerby and Nicole Nichols.
The top 10 finalists will compete in the program’s first live judging event on Sept. 27, 2013, where they will be judged on their ability to motivate, praise and collaborate with a client, as well as enhance the workout experience and correct exercise performance on the Synrgy360 system. The winner will be announced immediately following, and the entire day will be streaming live on www.lifefitness.com/personaltrainers.html.
The World’s Top 10 Personal Trainers
Josh Bowen, Kentucky, USA
Bowen is a personal trainer at Fitness Plus 2 located in Nicholasville, Ky., and is a quality control director of personal training at Compel Fitness, where he oversees the education of more than 100 trainers in five states. Bowen received a Bachelor of Science degree in exercise science from the University of Kentucky and has been a National Strength and Conditioning Association (NSCA) certified personal trainer for more than nine years. Bowen believes that all things are possible through fitness and motivates his clients to feel the same.
…
About Life Fitness
Life Fitness is the global leader in commercial fitness equipment manufacturing. The company manufactures and sells strength and cardiovascular equipment under the brand names Life Fitness and Hammer Strength and distributes its equipment in more than 120 countries. Headquartered outside Chicago, in Schiller Park, Ill., Life Fitness is a division of Brunswick Corporation (NYSE: BC).
About Nuffield Health
Nuffield Health provides expert, joined-up healthcare defined by and created for UK health consumers. We are the largest healthcare charity in the UK, providing health services for over 50 years. We are independent of Government, have no shareholders and reinvest our surplus to improve our facilities or provide public health education. We provide access to 15,000 health experts through our 31 hospitals, 65 fitness & wellbeing centres, 200 corporate facilities and 20 medical clinics to help people get healthy, and stay healthy. Nuffield Health is an award-winning not-for-profit, having won Health Investor Social Enterprise of the Year in 2010 and Private Hospital Group of the Year in 2011. We provide fitness and wellbeing services in England and Scotland. We have 65 clubs open to the public and nearly 200,000 members. We hold more than 650 Meet Our Experts free events for the public each year, have more than 1,000 personal trainers to support and motivate our clients and offer each member clinical advice through
our 12-point Health MOT. Last year we provided more than 95,000 of our Health MOTs and found that nearly two-thirds of our members reduced their cholesterol, three-quarters improved their blood pressure, and around two thirds lost more than three per cent of their body weight. For more information about Nuffield Health, visit www.nuffieldhealth.com
About ICREPs
The International Confederation of Registers of Exercise Professionals (ICREPs) is an international partnership between registration bodies around the world that register exercise professionals. ICREPs members operate over four continents, in seven countries, and collectively register over 60,000 individual exercise professionals.
About EHFA
The European Health & Fitness Association (EHFA) is an independent and nonprofit organisation based in Brussels representing the European health and fitness sector at the EU level. EHFA sees its objective to get “More People, More Active, More Often” as a triple-win for European citizens, the EU and the European health and fitness sector.
The EHFA Standards Council is responsible for the direction and strategic thinking for the developing regulatory framework, which underpins public confidence in the work and development of the European Health and Fitness industry. The European Register of Exercise Professionals (EREPS) is regulated by the EHFA Standards Council, serving as an independent body for the registration of fitness professionals who meet the qualifications established by the Standards Council. For further information, visit www.EHFA.eu.
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET (That title makes more sense if you hum it to the tune of the line, “You say either, and I say either”)
Within moments of the Supreme Court decision on the Voting Rights Act, it seemed like every solidly red state jumped at the chance to reinstate the kinds of laws that the invalidated section of the act had kept in check. Stringent ID requirements, cutting voting hours, eliminating polling places in predominantly Democrat-leaning neighborhoods, and refusing to let college students continue to vote in their state of residence. (Which, by the way, is unconstitutional – there’s nothing in the residency requirement that says an address doesn’t count if it’s a dorm, frat house, or off-campus house no matter how many empty pizza boxes are in the kitchen.) (Which, by the way, you’d think Tea Partiers would remember since they like to quote the constitution so often . . . but then again, homophobes who use the bible as their justification are good at conveniently forgetting the other things the bible forbids, such as mixing fabrics and getting tattoos, much less death penalty for cursing your parents or pulling out during intercourse . . . but I digress)
The speed with which southern states jumped into voter suppression after the decision prompted many people to use the analogy, ‘the body wasn’t even cold yet.’ It reminded me of the urban legend about savvy New Yorkers finding apartments by combing the obituaries. But I was less offended by the speed than by the overkill. There are a variety of studies of actual voter fraud, but the number of proven cases is between 10 and 15 – that’s from 2000 to 2010, with approximately 600 million votes cast during that time. Meanwhile, there are multiple cases of politically-appointed state election commissioners going to great lengths to ‘cleanse’ the voting rolls, harrassing tens of thousands of people and winding up not finding more than a couple of cases – not of voter fraud or dead people voting, but typos and other clerical errors. Changing voting requirements to prevent the rare case of fraud is like using a nuclear weapon to kill one cockroach in your kitchen. (Mind you, I lived in a few rundown apartments in New York for 5 years and would have considered it, especially the night I was awakened by a noise in the kitchen and saw a foot-long tail coming out of a box of Rice Krispies . . . .but I digress)
Since claims of voter fraud are either incredibly inflated or just plain fraudulent, I decided to fraudulently turn from a suburban Jewish mom into a blues singer to complain about it. (And as a result, I finally learned the word for that phenomenon when you say a somewhat unusual word over and over again, like ‘kidney’ or ‘detrimental,’ and it starts to sound weird and lose its meaning . . . check out the song to find out!)
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET Okay, I admit it. I saw Tears for Fears in concert. My friend bought the tickets, but I did go voluntarily. I’m letting go of my shame in life. It’s cleansing. So yesterday those two spoke to me: “Time to eat all your words; swallow your pride, open your eyes.” Repeat.
Nancy Slotnick is The RP’s Relationships expert. I heard a friend speak at the New York Business Expo this week about what it took to build his company into a $200 Million company. He likened it to parallel parking. Back and forth, in and out, over and over until you get it. Continuing even when your wife says: “there’s no way that we can fit into that space.” Practicing a lot, then getting it done. Impressive.
I feel like that on the inside, but how do I help people find love in a hopeless place? It feels like getting a U-Haul into a tiny parking space. And then realizing that there’s a hydrant there. Frustrating, but maybe it’s a sign? The seeds of love need to be quenched. It’s going to take more than a Drip. (that’s a private joke for those of you who know me- if you don’t, check out my bio on Matchmaker Café.) It’s going to take a wave, of hurricane proportions. Let’s surf!
I may be getting a little too metaphoric here, I realize now. So let me give it to you Cosmo Girl Style:
Top 10 Ways to Sow the Seeds of Love:
(BTW, this list can be re-purposed for married people too, surprisingly)
- Smile
- Smile with your eyes
- Position yourself in the room somewhere that makes you approachable, nay, bump-into-able
- Have the opening line
- Sexy sells
- Ask good questions
- Listen to the answer
- Say something completely stupid and embarrassing about yourself (non-sexual though, don’t jump the shark on this)
- Be hard to get (which is different from Play hard to get)
- Be possible to get (impossible is too intimidating)
Oh, and did I mention to join Matchmaker Café? I didn’t put that in the Top 10 because that one should NOT be re-purposed for married people. Unless your hobby is setting up your friends on Facebook. Then please call me!
If you’ve gotten all the way through reading this blog, and you are ready for action then you deserve digits. Follow me on Huffington Post and I will give you my number if you ask. My “short-list” of iPhone contacts consists of a very good bunch of high caliber individuals that I have been sowing recently. I’ve heard that you reap what you sow.
So?
By Erica and Matt Chua, on Mon Aug 19, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET With several hundred cities around the world under our belt we have experienced many varied forms of architecture. From the swooping roofs of Asia to the domes of the Middle East and castles in Europe. Where have we enjoyed the skyline the most? We each share our opinion.
HE SAID…
During the worst times of rush hour, you can drive around the entire country of Singapore in less than two hours. The country can be described as a long bike ride because it is only 15 miles wide by 20 miles long, yet it is home to more than five million people. Housing, feeding and entertaining the 7,300 people per square mile requires creative architecture. While many cultures would approach the scale of the problem with utilitarian design, Singapore has made design a must, making it the modern architecture capital of the world in both quality and quantity.
This is the underside of a bridge. In the USA design like this is reserved for modern art galleries, but in design-orientated Singapore, even hidden places feature thoughtful design. That’s how it is here, designers run wild, making sure that there is no eyesore, that everywhere you look inside this forest of skyscrapers you will see creativity that leaped from paper into reality.
Read the rest of…
Erica & Matt Chua: He Said/She Said: Best Architecture
By Saul Kaplan, on Mon Aug 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET Nooks and crannies are important to both English muffins and innovation.
I haven’t been able to get a picture of a lightly toasted Thomas’ English muffin with butter and strawberry preserves oozing into those marvelous nooks and crannies out of my head. Maybe it’s because I’m resisting the temptation while on one of my frequent short-lived diet and exercise delusions. More likely it’s because of a story that caught my eye last week about an executive who left the company (Bimbo Bakeries, I’m not kidding) that makes Thomas’ English Muffins to join the arch enemy, Hostess Brands. It seems that Bimbo is suing to prevent the executive from joining Hostess because they suspect he has absconded with and will divulge the secret of how to make English muffins with perfect nooks and crannies.
You heard right. The row is about protecting the trade secret for creating nooks and crannies in an English muffin. Bimbo claims there are only seven people who possess the trade secret and of course the executive leaving to make Twinkies is one of them. I find it hard to believe that only seven people have the know-how necessary to create great nooks and crannies. It sounds more like a marketing ploy. But what do I know. I thought it was just using a fork to split the muffin! Think about it. Samuel Bath Thomas left England headed for America in 1874 with a recipe for his muffin baked on hot griddles. Surely in over 135 years more than seven people have accumulated the know-how for nooks and crannies. And how are we to know if Samuel Thomas didn’t borrow the formula before heading for fame and fortune in America. Not to accuse Samuel Thomas of pilfering the recipe and starting an English muffin revolution but it does sound eerily similar to Samuel Slater escaping England with the trade secrets for the textile mill, which of course started the U.S. Industrial Revolution!
 No surprise that nooks and crannies are the secret to a great English muffin. Those air pockets allow for both perfect toasting and a natural repository for the aforementioned butter and jam. So Bimbo Bakery goes to incredible lengths to protect its know-how. Instead of recipes they use codebooks. Employees are on a need to know basis and only have access to the pages of the codebook necessary to complete their specific task. They are shielded from the information and people in departments working on other tasks. It doesn’t sound like a formula for innovation but then maybe Bimbo isn’t interested in innovation. Perhaps they are just obsessed with protecting the status quo for the nooks and crannies of English muffin making.
Nooks and crannies are also the secret to great innovation. Innovators thrive in nooks and crannies and refuse to stay in any silo barred from communicating across them. They know freely exploring nooks and crannies is the only way to get better faster. Nooks and crannies increase the surface area an innovator can expose to the best knowledge flows and new ideas. With more surface area comes greater exposure to and absorption of a broader range of ideas, experiences, and capabilities. A thoughtfully comprised network of unusual suspects increases an innovator’s surface area. Social media platforms are just nooks and crannies on steroids to an innovator.
Innovators also know that most important innovations emerge from the nooks and crannies between silos, disciplines, and industry sectors. It is by combining and recombining ideas and capabilities from across silos that innovators create new ways to deliver value. System solutions for the big social challenges of our time including education, health care, and energy, will only be found if we get more comfortable in the nooks and crannies between us. Pass the strawberry preserves.
By Julie Rath, on Fri Aug 16, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
My cousin who works in A&R in the music industry sent me the above picture of his stylish self in the audience of the American Idol finale a few nights ago (it’s a family quirk, taking pictures of the tv). He’s rocking a sharp-looking Michael Andrews Bespoke vest, an old off-the-rack shirt that he had tailored to fit, and Persol shades as neckwear. The vest is made of lightweight wool and cost about $300. Check out how perfectly it fits him and the spirited lining in the images below.
Bespoke refers to clothing made to a person’s exact specifications and involves the creation of a unique pattern for each customer, which why is the fit is so dead-on.
Read the rest of…
Julie Rath: Hot Summer, Cool Vests
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It’s not fair to guys that they seem to have a monopoly on commitment issues. Even if this is territory that they have themselves claimed, they do themselves a disservice. Women’s commitment issues are much more subtle but often way more sticky and insidious.
So let’s be the tortoise for the moment.
