By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Mar 26, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
About once or twice a year I go through a full service car wash
The first time I knew they existed I was a small boy with my mom and she explained what was going on as I watched on with wonder from the lobby area.
I much prefer the self-service car washes because you don’t have to get out of your car and wait 10–15 min in a wait area.
Which can be awkward
I am in the waiting area now and have watched two grown men (one about 60 and the other mid 40s) stand with their back to the rest of us pretending to watch the car wash process with the wonder of a small boy
I have to assume they aren’t really entranced by this process which –though still remarkable in many ways—losses much of its mystery by ones teen years
I suspect instead it is a defense mechanism to the awkward waiting room. What do you talk about to fellow customers?
“So, have a dirty car today, do ya?
Me too”
So instead we pretend to watch the washing process like we did as children
But I am different. I don’t have the need to pretend to be busy so I don’t have to make conversation. Oh, wait a minute. A new customer just sat down next to me. I need to walk outside and pretend like I am making a phone call.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Mar 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Working, working, working.
Almost there , almost there.
But forgetting “there” is only an idea and not a location—it is only a guidepost and figment of our imagination that keeps us moving.
What if we woke up this morning and instead of “closer” to our dreams, we had “arrived”?
Me?
I would go back to bed
Which is why, I suppose, our reach should always exceed our grasp. But not by too much.
As long as we are living, we are merely “in transit” —at times forward; at times backwards; and often just sideways or adrift. And at other times we simply standstill
In this journey oflife we “arrive” not at a final destination –but the moment we realize that life is an endless journey –with maps, and GPS-es and Sherpas and guideposts
But no guarantees.
And, as the sign in the mall says, “You are here” –now.
But not for long.
And we try, for today, not to run in place or swim against the tide
But hopefully to float toward our destiny –which we know when we are doing because it feels like flying.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Mar 22, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Papal Fashion
With all this new Pope buzz and the chatter about the theological and political implications, someone is finally turning to a more practical and more interesting topic.
A good friend asked me (tongue in cheek) if women become priests, do I think they would make female cardinals wear brown?
That’s a great question. Although this issue will be decided in the Vatican it has far reaching implications that could include trademark infringement accusations right here in Louisville, KY with UPS if the Catholic Church ever tries to use the tag line “Brown Deliver”
That is the only real practical risk I see. I do believe based on what little I know about the topic the Pope and Catholic Church will pull off a “Fashion Win” for the Church. Brown is a staid and dignified color –yet also really makes the Roman Collar pop in a reverent way that says “fashionably infallible”
At least that is my best off-the-cuff answer . That is also tongue-in-cheek. ; )
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Mar 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
I just went through Chik-fil-A drive through in my hometown in Louisville. Mainly because it’s after 9pm and most their clientele are home for the night —praying with one another, talking about heterosexuality, and getting ready for bed.
At least that’s the media stereotype we have in my mind
I figure that between 9-10pm each night the city’s liberal and hypocritical underbelly slithers through the Chik-fil-A drive-thru wearing sunglasses and masking their real voice as they order. And not making eye contact as they ask for extra ketchup for the Waffle Fries before careening out of the parking lot before one of their liberal brethren recognizes them and turns them into the local Whole Food Market.
But the food is so good at Chik-fil-A, otherwise idealistic Ashley Judd Democrats (it is Kentucky) are, at least during a weak moment (between 9-10pm Mon-Sat, but not Sun) willing to risk everything they stand for to munch on a Spicy Chicken Sandwich or toasted Chicken Salad Sandwich.
Is that really so wrong?
Of course it is!
Rand Paul was willing to talk for 13 consecutive hours last week (4 1/2 hours longer than his typical interview and floor speech) because of what he believed. Period. A conviction politician with a consistent and principled ideological diet. No carry-out order of Dan Dan Noodles from the ultra liberal and multicultural PF Changs would have caused him to waiver.
Shame. Shame. I know your name! John Y Brown III! You Daniel in the Lion’s Den! Or Chik-Fil-A’s double drive-thru line.
But at least I had the decency NOT to park and eat in Chik-fil-A parking lot. I clandestinely drove across the street and parked in the Taco Bell parking lot where I noticed two other cars parked with Chik-Fil-A bags on the dashboard with incognito drivers wolfing down a chicken pot pie.
But then I saw something truly shocking. It was, if true, reminiscent of the moment when Sen Joe McCarthy was castigated by the Army Colonel and General Counsel, “At long last, sir, have you no sense of decency?” Only worse because it was more brazen and nakedly hypocritical.
It was a high profile and celebrated local republican operative, whose name I’ll leave anonymous for now (or someone who looks just like him) wearing dark sunglasses in a corner booth eating a Bacon Club Chalupa inside Taco Bell. As he chewed blissfully he simultaneously belied his party’s rigid policy position on immigration, symbolically anyway. “What a sanctimonious hypocrite!” I thought to myself.
Sure,I was outraged and wanted to lash out at this blatant policy hypocrisy. But I thought to myself, maybe –just maybe—all this hyper partisanship had gone a step too far. Instead I asked myself what would Democratic Patron Saint US Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan do if he were alive and found himself in this identical situation? Easy. He was discreetly walk inside Taco Bell and quietly offer his political nemesis his now empty Chick-Fil-A bag to disguise the rest of his Taco Bell order.
But Daniel Patrick Moynihan was a better man than I am. I left the scene and am posting the entire episode on the Recovering Politician blog! For sake of our children and our children’s children’s future. Or something like that.
As Grover Norquist taught us, “Bipartisanship is another name for date rape.” Or, I would add, an unreported partisan breach involving a Taco Bell Bacon Club Chalupa or Chik-fil-A Charbroiled Chicken Wrap.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Mar 20, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Technology is supposed to make us more organized, efficient and punctual.
But I often wonder if each of those things aren’t more of an “inside job” that has more to do with internal factors than the screen size and processor speed of the latest smartphone.
Think of it this way, with a little mathematical license thrown in to make my point: Before cell phones and the internet and GPS and laptops and tablets, I had a tendency to over commit myself and always running a few minutes late.
But that’s all changed now with technology to thank, right?
Well…..well…..well…..ummm.
With two cell phones, one laptop, an iPad, and GPS system in my car and on my cell phone, I have increased the likelihood of being somewhere on time, by 3.75%. That means, at that rate of increase (and factoring Moore’s Law of advancing technology), I will be on time to appointments 100% of the time starting in mid August in the year 2114.
So, is the conclusion that technology is just not advancing fast enough to fix this deficit? Or perhaps I need to spend more money on more technology?
Or maybe, just throwin’ this out there, not saying it’s true or anything, but just maybe it’s on me –and regardless of all the wonderful promises of technology making our lives simpler, better, more efficient, maybe there are limits.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Mar 19, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
The column below is an irresistible one—even for me (at age 49) and not looking for either a college major or a job.
They are interesting reading and worth glancing at for information. Bu…t not, in my opinion, for life guidance.
The only thing worse you can do than pursue a degree you are interested in that pays a low starting salary is get a degree you aren’t interested in because it pays a high salary. If you do the former, at a minimum you will almost surely do much better while in college or graduate school (higher GPA), which translates into more professional options, better educated, and more self-confidence. Not a bad outcome.
If you do the latter, you will likely do poorly, have a negative experience with school, have a lackluster record, get a second or third tier job in the field of study and not enjoy or excel at it. Pretty lousy outcome.
I’m not saying don’t balance the practical aspects of the connection between college degree and future jobs. You should and must. But make it only a part of your analysis. And at the end of your analysis, go with your gut and your passion.
No one has yet been able to quantify either. But being engaged something you are interested in and passionate about seems the common denominator of almost every person I know who excels in their field.
Even if they majored in English. (And many did!)
From Forbes:
The Best And Worst Master’s Degrees For Jobs
Thousands of new college grads will enter the workforce this year, but with unemployment at 8.2% and underemployment near 18%, many will put off the taxing job search process and opt out of the weak job market to pursue graduate degrees.
With this in mind, Forbes set out to determine which master’s degrees would provide the best long-term opportunities, based on salary and employment outlook. To find the mid-career median pay for 35 popular degrees, we turned to Payscale.com, which lets users compare their salaries with those of other people in similar jobs by culling real-time salary data from its 35 million profiles. We then looked at the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ employment projection data to see how fast employment was expected to increase between 2010 and 2020 in popular jobs held by people with each degree. Finally we averaged each degree’s pay rank and estimated growth rank to find the best and worst master’s degrees for jobs.
As it turns out, although there are too few doctors in the U.S. and too few seats in medical schools, those shortages are good for one segment of the population: people who get degrees as physician assistants.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
My latest athletic injury story….
I strained my calf muscle on Wednesday and had to ice it most of that evening and some the next day.
Here’s how it happened.
“So, late Wednesday afternoon I left my office and walked down the three stairs out the back door.”
That’s it. That’s the whole story. Nothing else happened. No rugby match. No extreme sports. No cross-fit workout. No heroic game winning score. I injured myself walking down three steps.
But after several days of convalescence I seem to be recovering fully and should be able to ascend and descend stairs again by early next week!!!
By Jonathan Miller, on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 9:15 AM ET
Click here to review/purchase
The nation’s most exciting new publishing imprint — The Recovering Politician Books — has just released its second title, following the international sensation, Jonathan Miller’s The Liberal Case for Israel:
If the title sounds familiar, well d’uh — it is a collection of essays first published at The Recovering Politician — and some bonus new essays as well by our modern day Will Rogers — former Kentucky Secretary of State John Y. Brown, III. Our readers know that John is often insightful, usually clever, and always hilarious.
I loved the book — giving it three thumbs up.
But don’t trust me: Check out the first review of the book at Amazon.com:
I have not read this book yet but did write it. I don’t proof read so, I really can’t say that I have read it even while writing it. I do, sometimes, go back and read some of the posts in this collection after the get posted on the Recovering Politician blog I write for. So, I guess, in that sense I have read a little of this book.All I can say is that the posts I have read after they got posted, some of them were pretty good. As for the others I didn’t read, I tried to make them worth while but can’t comment any more than that. And I apologize for the spelling and grammatical lapses that come from not proof-reading. If you learn nothing else from this eBook, I hope you at least learn the value of proofing and editing.
And at most, I hope you chuckle a few times and say to yourself, “I can relate,” or “Maybe I’m not so weird after all if this guy thinks that way too,” or maybe “Wow, perhaps both of us –because we think like this –are really weird and everybody else is normal’ (although I hope this last thought doesn’t happen as often as the one I wished before it).
And if you have this last thought a lot more often than the one before it, don’t feel bad. I have a friend here in Louisville (whose name I won’t mention), who has these kind of thoughts too. So, really, there’s more than just two of us. There’s at least three. (His name is John Bell and he’s been a friend since high school. Sorry, John.)
I originally planned to write 5 reviews and give myself 5 stars in each review. Of course, that would require setting up 4 fake accounts and making up 4 fake names. And I’m not sure how to set up fake accounts and making up fake names takes more time than I want to give it. So, I’m just going to give this one real pseudo-review. And give myself 3 1/2 stars. My conscience –coupled with laziness–always seems to undermine my bigger plans.
Full disclosure: I rounded up to 4 stars.
And if you liked the review, you will love the book. Purchase by clicking here for only $4.95, while supplies (electrons) last.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Mar 14, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Aging and heroism. (Or Worse than Kryptonite)
Did you ever have one of those days where you get called on for a dramatic heroic act that will save the day, but as you step into the phone booth to change into your Superman costume, your mind goes blank and you literally can’t recall for a several seconds if you are Superman or Batman?
And then, after regaining your composure, start to really regret being Superman and grumble to yourself, “This s**t is getting old. They never ask the guy in the office next to me to do this sort of stuff. In fact, he’s at lunch now with the COO. That’s just so wrong! Next week I am going to say something about it.”
And then, as you are taking your time changing–it now takes 5-7 min to change at age 49– you get in a shouting match with some 19 year old who needs to use the phone, who calls you “Lame.” And that really ticks you off and you threaten to keep your street clothes on and not do your heroic deed until some older adult pulls the 19 year old aside and gives him his cell phone for his call?
And then as you are tying your cape, you realize you have love handles pushing out either side of the spandex Superman top. And you are just hoping you can avoid flying and let the cape cover your sides today? Or at least fly at an angle where others won’t notice and comment?
And you make a note to wear sunglasses in the future because you are embarrassed how you look in the Superman costume?
And then, finally, after waiting until now one is looking, you try to burst out of the phone booth but the phone booth door is jammed? You shake and jiggle it. And even do so strenuously but realize that even with your super powers, at this age, you aren’t strong enough to force open the door by yourself?
And so you get the attention of the 19 year old who you had a shouting match with and is now finished with his cell phone call and ask him nicely if he’d try to open the phone booth door from the outside? And apologize for losing your cool as he is smiling smugly to himself and opens the phone booth door for you with two fingers using his left hand?
And then you forget where you are and what you are doing and ask the 19 year old if he still has the cell phone he borrowed so you can check with Google Maps for directions? But he doesn’t have it, of course, because he’s given it back to the stranger who was trying to protect your feelings?
And you walk off dejected? But see a coffee shop and decide to get a latte and a pastry. But after you order remember you are in your Superman costume and forget to bring any money with you? And you want to point out that your Superman and this should really be on the house given all your done for the community over the years —and about to do today? But you decide that discretion is the better part of courage. And apologize and promise to come back later that day (after your super hero mission is complete, but you don’t say this….just thinking this to yourself)?
And after getting lectured by the manager about how he’s just trying to run a business and shouldn’t have to deal with “people like you” you walk out the door and even though you can’t remember where you parked and don’t have your keys anyway after the phone booth change, you are secretly pleased with yourself and feel like you FINALLY caught a break today because you at least got a free latte and pastry?
And make a gentle mental note to yourself that when you send your Superman costume to the cleaners this time to have them take it out two inches in the waist. Again.
If you answer yes, well, you are not alone. Me too!
I have to assume they aren’t really entranced by this process which –though still remarkable in many ways—losses much of its mystery by ones teen years
Follow John Y: