By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Mar 9, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Need help with advice.
Etiquette question..I can’t find an entry for this in Ms Manners and hoping there is a ready formula for dealing with this awkward situation.
OK, you walk into a social event and see someone you’ve known for several years and never had trouble recalling their name, but suddenly blank out.
You quickly run through the alphabet in your head as they are walking toward you but to no avail.
You have a family member with you and don’t have time now–after wasting precious seconds on the alphabet –to tell the family member to introduce himself first to this “good friend” bc you can’t remember his name. Or even the letter his name might begin with.
So, you quickly grab your Blackberry and run a check on what you think his first name is.
You are correct, look up, and eagerly greet and introduce your friend to your family member….just before your “good friend” glances down at your Blackberry to see his name staring back at him.
He pauses to ask, “Were you going to call me?” but then realizes what “probably” happened and starts to say something sarcastic but stops.
What is the socially appropriate thing to say in this situation?
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Mar 6, 2012 at 3:30 PM ET
Profile in Courage or just a national teaching moment?
Rush’s raw, heartfelt apology to a young female student for calling her a “slut” and a “prostitute” was just what the nation needed to begin healing after this unfortunate miscommunication “that distracted from the point I was trying to make,” as Rush bravely put it.
This magnanimous act of humility and recompense not only touched us all but inspired me to look within myself and think about young people I had recently called a “slut” or “round heel” or just an ordinary “prostitute” —and made me want to offer them an apology too. “For distracting from my point.”
And I have Rush Limbaugh to thank for that.
I love it when we can take an unfortunate event and turn it into a powerfully positive opportunity to bring people together—and think this could be one of those times.
In fact, I’d like to call on all Americans who have recently defamed a young person they didn’t know by calling them a vulgar and despicable name, to reconsider your words and offer that young person a heartfelt apology. In honor of Rush’s statesman-like profile in courage and teaching example that no matter how right you are, you shouldn’t share every personal insult publicly.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Mar 6, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Great fails in family myth making opportunities.
All families need stories that make them better than they really are. The key is that the have to be believable (or willing to be believed) and told by a credible elder of the family.
Usually repeatedly.
When I was about 14 and felt about as confused and insecure as, well, a 14 year old should, I was alone with my grandmother (Mamaw) and struck up a conversation that had great potential.
We were watching TV at her house and she was eating a PB&J sandwich and half paying attention to me. I loved her more than about anyone. She told things like they were. She lived in Muhlenberg County and although she never finished high school, I always felt she was smarter and wiser than my other grandma who was Phi Beta Kappa.
Plus, I was her favorite grandchild.
I’d been hearing about other kids at school who were making straight A’s and were National Merit Scholars and geniuses so on.
“Mamaw,” I asked, “You know how some kids are gifted intellectually?”
“Oh, I suppose. Your Uncle Jim Bob was.” (Jim Bob was her son and she liked him more than even me.), she replied predictably.
“What about the grandchildren, though?” Mamaw?
“What do you mean?” she asked. “Well, when we were younger did any of us seem, you know, kinda gifted or especially bright or special in some way?”
My grandmother took a bite of her sandwich and without ever looking away from the TV responded lovingly (in her own way), “Well, none of you were retarded or anything like that, if that’s what you mean.”
That ended the conversation as well as my hopes of being gifted at anything. I never got to tell her that wasn’t what I meant. But I always loved her—even after that. And sometimes the gift of loving candor is better than being gifted at some random skill anyway.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Mar 2, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Biblical origins of Democrats and Republicans?
A few years ago I had the honor of sitting next to former Ohio Representative Tony Hall who spoke at Kentucky’s prayer breakfast.
He’s a faithful and inspirational leader and we discussed a range of serious topics before I inevitably had to try to inject some humor into our heavy topics.
Rep. Hall had a wonderful sense of humor and inevitably the discussion turned to the bitter partisanship that was dividing our country.
There was a mix of Republicans and Democrats at the dinner. Actually more Republicans…and we wondered aloud where this division started.
I offered my theory that the Biblical story of the Prodigal Son may help answer that question.
The Prodigal Son was wasteful and extravagant and disrespectful but returned home humbled and wiser and was embraced and forgiven by his father who welcomed the lost son back and called for a celebration at his son’s return.
The Prodigal Son also had a brother–an elder brother–who had stayed home, worked hard and was respectful and not wasteful but who watched on with jealousy and bitterness as the father embraced the formerly wayward younger son.
My theory is that Democrats descended from the Prodigal Son. And Republicans descended from his brother.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Mar 1, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Sometimes when I’m in a long line at Starbucks and in a hurry, I wonder to myself, “Who was the annoying customer who kept complaining that the Barista never asked if he wanted ‘room for cream?'”
That person was probably the cause of the blanket Starbucks policy to ask every customer ever time that same question ad nauseum.
That question, repeated millions of times a day seems to take a lot of time for the Barista to ask, the customer to think about, the customer to answer, the Barista to process and the Barista to respond to. And I’m not sure it’s an important enough question to ask millions of times daily.
I think Starbucks should post a “Room for cream opt out” policy.
In other words, it will be assumed that all Starbucks customers want room for cream unless the order otherwise (e.g. “No room for cream, please” or “I don’t need room for cream” or “I’m utilizing the ‘opt out’ policy for room with cream”—or something like that).
I suggest a pilot project for Louisville. I suspect we’ll see a lot of freed up time to Starbucks customers that is currently time being drained from our local economy. And wouldn’t it be interesting if we discovered that this inane question asked of everyone passing through Starbucks turned out to be the primary cause of our current recession?
Of course, I don’t really believe the “room for cream” question contributed to the recession.
Just aggravated it a little.
I do think that the new additional –and more complicated—Starbucks question, “Would you prefer light or dark roast?” has the potential to seriously undermine out economy.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Feb 29, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
“Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good!”
Remember the old saying, “I feel like a million bucks!”?
That was very popular a few decades ago and meant you felt good physically and were on top of the world.
I have done an economic analysis based on when that saying was at the height of popular usage and have adjusted for inflation.
In today’s monetary terms, the proper saying should be “I feel like $2,435, 721.32”
However after adjusting for what each individual on average owes over their lifetime based on our national debt, the new adjusted number is roughly “$6.48.”
So, if you are feeling especially good today…and especially positive about the future, cock your head, put back that gleam in our eye and say, “Hey there, pal! I’m feeling like roughly $6.48 today, adjusting for inflation and my portion of the debt!”
It’s not quite as catchy as the original line, but spirit of that expression is still in there somewhere.
On the other hand, if you aren’t feeling especially good today physically or about your personal future, you will need to adjust further downward if someone asks you to estimate your dollar value based on your frame of mind today.
Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of wiggle room. I guess what I’m saying is I hope everyone is feeling, as Larry David likes to say, “Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good” about things. Figuratively speaking. ; )
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Feb 28, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Advantages to being a slow learner.
A friend of mine today broached the topic of mid life crisis in men…and wondered if he, at 44, was in the midst of his own midlife crisis.
We talked about it and I’m not so sure. I explained that even if he was, he had plenty to be upbeat about.
“Like what?” he asked.
“Well, look at it this way,” I said. “I had my midlife crisis at around 38….I consider that young for a midlife crisis. I was sort of an AP mild life crisis type—you know, kinda precocious for that stage of development. But here’s the silver lining for you. If that was truly midlife for me, my life expectancy is only 76. You, on the other hand, are a little slower to get around to passing through your midlife crisis “right of passage”–but if 44 is midlife for you, your life expectancy is, well, 88. That means you’ll live 12 years longer than I will based on my mid-life math.
Sure you may be more confused and depressed than me this year…and you’ll say silly and pathetic things, maybe even quite your job or buy a tacky looking sports car. But you get to outlive me by over a decade! I guess sometimes it pays to be a slow learner.”
Need help with advice.
