John Y’s Musings in the Middle: Midlife Crises

Advantages to being a slow learner.

A friend of mine today broached the topic of mid life crisis in men…and wondered if he, at 44, was in the midst of his own midlife crisis.

We talked about it and I’m not so sure. I explained that even if he was, he had plenty to be upbeat about.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Well, look at it this way,” I said. “I had my midlife crisis at around 38….I consider that young for a midlife crisis. I was sort of an AP mild life crisis type—you know, kinda precocious for that stage of development. But here’s the silver lining for you. If that was truly midlife for me, my life expectancy is only 76. You, on the other hand, are a little slower to get around to passing through your midlife crisis “right of passage”–but if 44 is midlife for you, your life expectancy is, well, 88. That means you’ll live 12 years longer than I will based on my mid-life math.

Sure you may be more confused and depressed than me this year…and you’ll say silly and pathetic things, maybe even quite your job or buy a tacky looking sports car. But you get to outlive me by over a decade! I guess sometimes it pays to be a slow learner.”