“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Let’s think about the quote above. What is separating all of us from achievement? Is it us? Could it be that we are actually afraid of accomplishing what we set out to do? Bingo! I have a lot of experience in training and motivating others, not just in fitness but in life. I have always had a sense that deep down people are not afraid of failure but rather afraid of achieving. When you achieve something people will expect you to do the same every time. This adds responsibility and adds the component of hard work. Now, don’t get me wrong I am not calling out people, talking about how lazy they are. Quite the contrary, I am saying that in our subconscious we have a deep fear that we CAN accomplish any and every thing that we set out to do.
So how do I perform reverse psychology on myself? Here is the deal the first step to accomplishing anything is you have to believe it is possible. Here is an example; people once thought that running a mile in under 4 minutes was impossible. It wasn’t until 1954 that Roger Bannister broke the 4 minutes barrier, running a mile in 3 minutes and 59 seconds. 42 days later another man ran a mile in 3 minutes and 58 seconds. Fast forward to present day and the world record for the mile has lowered 17 seconds and now running a mile in under 4 minutes is the STANDARD by which all middle distance runners are judged. Do you see what happened there? Once one person did it, everyone else knew it was possible. You think that you are the only person in the world sitting there at your computer, reading this article with 50, 60, 70, 100 pounds to lose. The reality of it is people are doing it every day and so can you! All you have to do is believe.
The last step (yes I only have 2 steps here, this is not a 12 step process!) you have to have an undying commitment to your goal. Whatever the goal is, it does not matter you have to love it, marry it and live it. It is you and it is a part of you. Do what ever it takes, throw caution to the wind and do it! I believe in you, you must believe in you. Do not be afraid of climbing your personal Mount Everest! GO DO IT!!!!
“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was”
Anochi afar v’efer. In Hebrew this means, “I am but dust and ashes.”
Seems to be a less than perky reminder about the inevitable, I know, but it does offer supportive wisdom actually.
In the Jewish spiritual tradition of Mussar (the Hebrew word for ethics), the soulful human trait of humility plays a fundamental role in a life of balance. To realize that each of us no matter our accomplishments, inevitably become part of the physical earth, is humbling.
Given the truth of this ultimate reality, how can any of us believe we are inferior to others, or superior? Anochi afar v’efer, it’s a perspective grabber, and a cool equalizer.
This raises a significant question about what it means to be human in the time we have. How do we strive to fill in the time between life and, ahem, the alternative? How do we make our lives meaningful even in the mundane? How is one’s “mundane” existence actually not inferior to someone else’s life of adventure, leadership, intellectual contribution?
We think of all kinds of answers here, or maybe we don’t even know where to begin.
The ancient Mussar Rabbis taught that each human is born with a personal spiritual curriculum to fulfill, and that we are each assigned the task of mastery of something in our lives. While culturally today, we tend to think that the something should relate to professional life or contribution to world repair, the teachings here focus on a more intimate area of human life experience, one that holds true no matter the decade in which we come across the teachings.
The mastery of something refers to the inner realm, the part of us expressed through the soul traits we are all born with but that each of us have in varying degrees of development and measure: humility, patience, gratitude, compassion, order, equanimity, honor, simplicity, enthusiasm, silence, generosity, truth, moderation, loving-kindness, responsibility, trust, faith, yirah (awe of God).
Read the rest of… Lisa Miller: My Mundane Existence is an Apple to Your Orange
Like any woman in show biz, I’ve had a long history of crushes on gay men. There was the cute scene partner in acting class, the fellow waiter who won my heart by knowing who Ella Fitzgerald was, and the incredibly talented sax player who had me fooled for awhile since musicians tend to be not just straight, but straight with a vengeance. And there was the awkward-but-sweet college buddy with whom I reconnected after he’d come out to (and in) San Francisco and transformed himself into a buff, bronzed hunk, but with the same sweetness and intelligence. We spent so much time commiserating about our bad luck with men that we half-seriously began to think we should just marry each other. (My mother heard about this and objected, “But Lauren, you know there would be a problem marrying him – he’s not Jewish!” When I told her that perhaps being gay might be a bigger obstacle, her response was “Oh, that’s no big deal, they can fix that.”) (In case she reads this column I should explain, that was over 20 years ago and she’s MUCH better informed now.)
Having a crush on a gay friend can be really frustrating, knowing that he’d be perfect for you except for the sex thing. (My college friend and I did try to date a little, but it just didn’t work, for obvious reasons. He told me that if it wouldn’t work with me, he knew it could never work with a woman, which I hope was a lovely compliment instead of evidence that I turned men gay . . . ) But having a crush on a gay celebrity is stress-free – you know there’s no chance of anything happening, it’s just a fun fantasy. And it’s not as illogical as it seems; these guys are never going out with me regardless of their sexuality, so why not have fun? Plus when a celebrity comes out as gay, he simply adds to his attractiveness by his honesty and bravery. My list of celebrity crushes has included Ricky Martin, Nathan Lane, Victor Garber, Neil Patrick Harris, David Hyde Pierce, Nate Silver (he’s the political statistician who writes the NYTimes ‘538’ column and accurately predicted the outcome of every state in the presidential election – smart is almost as much of a turn-on as funny!)
I’ve never really followed sports, other than knowing my husband will be in a foul mood if ‘his’ team loses (which makes no sense to me, he doesn’t actually know any players on the SF Giants or the Warriers or Sharks, so why does he care?) (In case he reads this column, I realize that on the other hand, he doesn’t understand my crush on Nathan Lane, et al., and since he doesn’t tease me about it, I won’t give him any grief about the team thing). But I am now following the sports scene, thanks to Jason Collins coming out as gay. Collins didn’t just come out, he expressed himself beautifully, he handled criticism with grace and dignity, and he comes across as smart, articulate, and thoughtful – but I almost can’t keep my mind on all those wonderful qualities, I keep getting distracted by his gorgeous physique, his rippling muscles, and that matinee-idol smile. And I don’t think the depth of my crush is at all impaired by the fact that before his announcement, not only had I never heard of Mr. Collins, but I’d also never heard of half of the teams listed in his bio. (Memphis Grizzlies? Minnesota Timberwolves?)
So while I still admire all my previous crushes, and I look forward to more cute-and-funny celebrities coming out, I only write love songs for really special gay men. Nate Silver qualified during the election, but I think even more people will understand why I need to sing about Jason Collins! (In case he reads this column, I would LOVE to meet him and I promise not to drool – at least not too much.)
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue May 7, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
If the friend of my enemy is my enemy, then is the friend of my date going to be my date? A lot of guys may want it that way. (and some girls too.) What about the Facebook friend of my date? Facebook doesn’t make it easy to keep your dating life on the down low. If you are Facebook friends with your date, then chances are she has her ways of finding out who else you are dating. And that’s a good thing in my book. If you are really trying to two-time your girlfriend with her best friend you should at least have the decency to be stealthy about it.
The public nature of Facebook also makes it complicated to use Facebook for dating. You want to use your social network to find dates, but you also don’t want everyone in your social network to know everything you’re doing.
So a lot of people try to keep their social life and their dating life separate. I have been a dating coach for over a decade. I teach singles how to expand their network to try to get more dates. And I have to say from my experience, on the prospect of keeping your social life and your dating life separate: “How stupid is that?” Sorry if that doesn’t sound very professional. But it gets me all riled up when I see inefficiency. Dating is an inefficient process anyway. Trying to keep your social network and your dating network separate is cutting off your nose to spite your face.
It’s been scientifically proven that your mate is highly likely to be within 2 degrees of separation from you. [I read this in Scientific American] One of the biggest complaints that I hear from singles is that it’s so hard to meet people. So you have to start with who you know and the easiest way to find them, i.e. Facebook.
Read the rest of… Nancy Slotnick: Facebook Frenemies
By Erica and Matt Chua, on Mon May 6, 2013 at 10:00 AM ET
Get up close and personal to whales, icebergs and flying penguins…what’s not to love about an Antarctic zodiac ride? A certain highlight of any Antarctica expedition are the zodiac rides cruising between massive icebergs, having whales swim up to check you out and seeing the unexpected beauties of Antarctica. While the view from the ship is great and the landings incredible, the zodiac rides provide an opportunity to get close to key parts of the Antarctic ecosystem.
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How often do you get to be in a boat that is dwarfed by an animal? Not just an animal, but a curious animal that wants to see what you’re all about? The sealife’s interest in the zodiacs is unforgettable, especially if you get to have a leopard seal try to eat your zodiak (it can’t, but that doesn’t stop them from taking a bite).
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Icebergs are beautiful from a distance, but stunning up close. Often I found myself just staring, mouth agape, at the array of colors, textures and angles of the icebergs. What my mind tells me should look like giant ice cubes are really so much more, acting as kaleidoscopes, coloring everything nearby.
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This Georgia O’Keeffe iceberg beckoned our zodiac closer with the array of colors and…uh…welcoming shape. You know, like her flower paintings…
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As the light of the day changes so do the colors reflected by the icebergs. By the later afternoon the contrasts between blues and whites increase as the shadows progress around the seemingly infinite shapes. During the still morning and evening hours the reflections become supreme, revealing the true vastness of Antarctica where the views are truly endless.
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As you can see, the zodiac rides are an unforgettable part of a journey to Antarctica. When booking your Antarctic cruise make sure that your ship has enough zodiacs for all passengers to disembark at the same time and that these rides are part of your trip.
Choose a guide. The crews of many ships are multi-national. To get the best experience choose a guide that natively speaks your language, ideally with cultural similarities because they’ll understand what you want to see.
Dress warm. Of course, it’s Antarctica…but the zodiac rides are even colder because of the wind, make sure you have and wear wind/waterproof jackets, pants, hats and gloves. Actually just wear everything you brought…
Consider a waterproof camera. While they take terrible photos most of the time, the underwater photos and videos of sea lions and whales people took were incredible. Of course this requires sticking your hand underwater…so have waterproof gloves or a dry back-up pair to slip on after submerging your hand!
Institutional America has knocked the start out of us. We need to get back to being great at starting things in our country. Calling all entrepreneurs. This means you. Yes, you. In talking with some of the most entrepreneurial people on the planet I am surprised by how many don’t think of themselves as entrepreneurs. When did that happen? Our economic history is all about starting stuff but we have gotten away from our entrepreneurial heritage. We need a national entrepreneurship movement, one that transforms our current entrepreneurship conversation.
Many visitors to the Entrepreneur StoryBooth, an on-line platform the Business Innovation Factory (BIF) launched with Babson College to capture the voice and experience of entrepreneurs, have shared that despite significant experience in starting stuff they don’t think of themselves as entrepreneurs. The prevailing definition of an entrepreneur just doesn’t seem to apply. I consistently reply asserting the opposite, their experience is exactly what we need in the mix. These diverse stories are critical to changing our national entrepreneurship conversation and launching a new economic era. It’s a big ‘aha’ for me so many entrepreneurs don’t think of themselves that way. I have to admit, upon personal reflection, as much as I love to start new projects, ventures, and movements, I too don’t think of myself as an entrepreneur. Go figure. Clearly, we have serious work to do if our economic future is about entrepreneurship.
When did we reserve the entrepreneur moniker solely for technology ventures started by iconic college dropouts like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg? I know we all love a good company origin story but by elevating these stories to mythical proportions aren’t we placing entrepreneurship out of reach for the rest of us mere mortals.
When did we so completely buy into a national invention narrative suggesting that if we invest enough in university based research it will produce a steady supply of new technologies, companies, and high-wage jobs. We have structured our entire national entrepreneur support system around an invention narrative in the hopes that tech transfer, venture capital, and technology company incubators will give rise to the promised new economy. It’s hard to see it happening any time soon with such a narrow definition of entrepreneurship. Maybe it’s time for a new expanded entrepreneurship narrative and support system.
Read the rest of… Saul Kaplan: Calling All Entrepreneurs
My always sharply-dressed and well-coiffed friend was visiting town last weekend, and both his Mint Tingle Facial Masque and his hair product were commandeered by airline security. So he asked me for a recommendation as to what he should buy to tide his hair over while here. After busting on him for being such a product junkie, I told him – and now I’ll tell you – about my go-to hair product: Kusco-Murphy Lavender Hair Cream. While in all cases one size doesn’t fit all, I’ve seen it work nicely on a variety of hair types, and that’s why I recommend it.
Its texture and weight are perfect, as it’s neither too greasy like some of the heavy waxes out there for guys, nor too sticky like the silicone-based anti-frizz products.
Also, it’s not a gel, so your hair actually looks like hair, not a gravity-defying “blowout” like DJ Pauly D’s signature ‘do from Jersey Shore (check out this amusing video tutorial of him demoing his hair styling technique: “I’m just rubbing the gel around the perimeter”…wha? If your hair has a perimeter, we need to talk. See my Services page.).
Anyway, back to Kusco-Murphy’s lavender goodness.
The smell is amazing, but very subtle, not like you bathed in Axe Body Spray. Although this product is on the expensive side, a little bit goes a long way. The best price I’ve found for an 8 oz jar is $30 plus shipping here or $35 from Arte Salon and Bigelow Chemists in Manhattan. Take a dab and rub it between your palms, then work it in back to front.
From time to time I experience what most writers call, “writers block.” It is a mythical place where all my thoughts are blocked and my creative juices are shunted. But at last I am back in the saddle and ready to voice my fitness voice to the masses. This could be scary.
Anyways, I left you all with the first entry (of a two part series) on juicing titled I Got the Juice. In this masterpiece of blogging I discussed the benefits of adding juicing to your diet and all the positive effects it could have. NOW, I would like to take it a step further and write about the ingredients and what they do and how they benefit us as a human species. Boom! Here we go…
Fact: You are what you eat. The most accurate statement you will read or hear all day. If you put “crap” into your body you will look (and feel) like “crap.” On the flip side, if you put nutrients your body wants and needs (and when they need and want them) you will look the best you ever have and feel the best you have ever felt. Also…Fact. “So whats the deal with juicing?” Well read the above blog first and then try it yourself. Give it three days and tell me how much better you feel. Because I know you will.
Common Juice Ingredients:
Vegetables (organic)
Fruits (Organic)
Herbs and Spices
Vegetables:
Kale
Kale is a nutrient dense food that packs a high amount of nutrition to it. Considered a “super food” Kale supplies only 36 calories per cup of juice. Kale is rich source of Lutein, a cartotenoid and phytonutrient which acts as an antioxidant and blocks potential damage to the human body from ultraviolent rays. Kale also packs a punch with fat soluble vitamins, A and K as well as water soluble vitamin C.
Read the rest of… Josh Bowen: I Got the Juice Part Deuce
I continue to be awed and amazed by compassionate teen girls who support and help empower their younger "sisters".
A few years ago, some of the wise teens in Lexington wrote an inspiring book designed to empower girls and their moms. The sentiments and guidance about healthy body image, self-esteem, and mom/daughter communication continue to be a household staple of support and wisdom for many families today.
Our little grass-roots effort to help others is always blooming new little buds; we are now funding eating disorders therapy for girls whose parents can't afford it. 100% of funds collected from sales of our book this season will help makethis happen!
Please buy our book and join a community of people who also want self-esteem and health for the girls in their lives. Even if you don't know a girl to give this book to, someone you know knows one, your local library would like one, yourdentist's sister's daughter would love one!
From all of us at G.R!, Thank you!
Mail a check for $28 ($3 of this will cover the cost of shipping) to
Girls Rock! Inc c/o Jonathan Miller Lexington Financial Center, 250 West Main Street, Suite 2800, Lexington, KY 40507-1749
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Apr 30, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET
Last week’s speedy Congressional action, giving the FAA more flexibility to deal with sequestration-imposed cuts, was hailed by many as a great example of government functioning at its best. But I’m feeling a little like the little kid who insists the Emperor has no clothes – wasn’t the pain of those cuts supposed to be the point? I thought the idea was that if the impact were felt across the board, constituents would complain and Congress would act to find a less Dickensian way of resolving the budget disputes. But apparently that doesn’t apply to frustrated business travelers, or Congresspeople who want to get out of DC as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, do a google search on ‘heartless sequester cuts’ and it takes 0.41 seconds to get 5,310,000 results. (I was going to write ‘and you’ll get thousands of results’ but that sounded like an exaggeration so I did the actual google search – yes, the truth can be even more ludicrous than my imagination.) But of course kids in the Head Start program, homeless people, elderly cancer patients, furloughed federal clerical workers, etc., don’t have the political pull to get the pain of their cuts alleviated.
Don’t get me wrong – I travel frequently and I have spent many frustrated hours in airports coping with flight delays and missed connections, and it’s horrible. It also reminds me of how plane travel has deteriorated – I still remember the first time I went on a plane as a 7-year-old, flying with my family to see grandparents back east. My sister and I had new dresses for the occasion, white patent leather mary-janes, and matching little purses, and it felt so glamorous and chic. (And I’m not advocating going back to that – I still remember how itchy my dress was, and I’d much rather fly in yoga pants and sneakers than in the skirt suit, pumps, and girdle my mom probably had to wear.) (In case you missed last week’s column, or are too lazy to do the math, this was in 1966, not 1956 . . . and yeah, I walked uphill to school both ways, in the snow, in southern California . . . . )
But these days only a few privileged business travelers get anything close to a luxurious experience, and the rest of us shlumps not only have to suffer cramped seats and nonexistent service, but we get our noses rubbed in it because we always have to go through business class on our way back to steerage, adding insult to injury and fostering class resentment. (I’m always thrilled when I see a whiny toddler as I go through business class . . . )
Of course, you could claim that travel delays are the big equalizer, since even a first class ticket can’t help you if the flight is cancelled. But if the point of the sequester was to make the cuts so painful that everyone would suffer and we’d have to find alternatives, this latest Congressional move seems completely wrong-headed. Although it does at least show us that Congress IS capable of quick, decisive action – and fortunately it’s great fodder for comedians. (Granted, making fun of Congress is as easy as making fun of the Kardashians . . . and I’m not above either!)
