Contributing RPs

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Self-Help Books

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jun 26, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

So let me tell you about what I’ve been reading lately –not!

If you frequently drive around clients in your car, you have to be careful not to leave every self-help book you happen to be reading in plain sight in the back seat.

Clients sitting in the back seat will notice them even if you tell yourself “Oh, they probably didn’t see that.”

And they will either make an unflattering assumption about you or ask to borrow the book from you. Neither of which is desireable.

It is much better if I client finds out about the self-help books you are reading by you posting pictures of them on Facebook. That way they won’t ask to borrow them. And if they make a snarky remark to you about what you are reading, you can tease them about still being on Facebook at their age. (Of course, they might find that comeback from you ironic and buy you a few more self-help books.)

And if all else fails you can tell them you bought the books to help you learn better how to cope with them. That is a good line for saving face–and losing clients.

It just makes better business sense to talk about the weather.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Friends

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jun 25, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Comforting thoughts…

Friends are great.

A few years ago I began griping about aging causing my memory to fade. But when I was sharing this concern with a good friend who has known me for many years, he wasn’t terribly sympathetic.

Finally, after about the third time I was whining to him about my memory loss, he chimed in abruptly –but constructively–“You know, John, you were never all that smart to begin with. I think part of the problem is you are imagining that you had a much better memory than you really did. I can’t tell any difference in you at all.”

But I am smarter than he gives me credit for. I don’t ever complain to him anymore about memory problems. I only complain to other people who haven’t known me for very long.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Homophobia

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jun 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

C’mon people. Enough already with these outdated homophobic attitudes.

If one man compliments another man on his physical appearance (e.g. “You look really trim. Have you lost weight?” or “That suit looks fabulous on you and really makes your eyes pop”), it doesn’t mean he is gay.

It simply means that if he were gay, he would probably be really into the guy he is complementing.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Thoughts for the Day

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jun 23, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Thought for the day

The more often I say, “I don’t know,” the more likely I will learn something new.

And the more likely I will be right.

===

I have observed that people who cherish their opinions over their friendships tend to have many more of the former than the latter.

And I have observed that the reverse seems to be true for those who cherish friendships over their opinions.

===

I’ve just been informed that my smartphone has “data leakage.”

Phew!!

And I was complaining because I thought it was my credit card that had “AT&T leakage.”

John Y. Brown, III: Fashionista

By John Y. Brown III, on Sun Jun 22, 2014 at 11:47 AM ET

Rebecca and I were honored to be participating last night in the Kosair Charities Fashion Show.

Great cause.

Great people.

Great fun.

Some highlights:

Two things about me:
1) I have never modeled before.
2) Love the movie Little Miss Sunshine.
So when the pressure was on to “work it,” well…..let’s just say I remembered the grand finale scene from Little Miss Sunshine and knew exactly what to do

And, yes, as you can see at this moment I was really feeling it and went for the “Double finger gun” model move.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Dirt Devils and Magic Dusters

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

The upside of Dirt Devil shopping.

It shouldn’t be this hard to buy a Dirt Devil to vacuum out blueberry muffin crumbs in my car floorboard.

I have tried Office Depot, Stienmart, Best Buy, Staples, and a couple of others and empty handed.

It was very frustrating.

But just a few minutes ago I took a Dirt Devil shopping break at Heine Bros and got a Rooibee Red Tea and am listening to the Black Crowes.

And now I really don’t mind at all that finding a Dirt Devil is so difficult. In fact, as I am listening to the live version of Can’t You Hear Me Knocking, I’m actually glad it is so difficult because it led me here.

So if you have been shopping all afternoon for a Dirt Devil and are frustrated, hang in there. It does get better when you eventually end up at Heine Bros. You won’t find a Dirt Devil, but you do get to enjoy a Rooibee Red Tea and get to listen to the Black Crowes.

And as you head home, you’ll probably decide it’s easier to just stop eating blueberry muffins. At least in your car.

And think to yourself, “It’s all good.”

===

Dirt Devils have apparently been replaced by Magic Dusters.

The name “Magic Duster” sounds better and is slightly less occultish sounding for a household clearning device than “Dirt Devil.”

But they really aren’t all that magical, if you ask me. Of course, your threshold for defining “magical” may be lower than mine–but I’m not seeing it.

Put it this way, it’s not as magical as something that is battery operated. Or more to the point, the Magic Duster is less magical, powerwise, than blueberry muffin crumbs.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: 51 and rhyming

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jun 19, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

I may be 51

But I’m nowhere near done

Just kickin’ it Old School

Revving up for my next run

I got nothing to lose

And I got nothing to prove

Done paid up all of my dues

And rock these comfortable shoes

Fighting gravity and time

As I’m bustin’ my rhymes

Got no awareness of shame

And still got slow motion game

Don’t write me off yet

‘Cause I’m just turning it on

Even crankin’ up the volume

Since my hearing’s half gone

Don’t push me out

‘Cause I’m still “all in”

And still got it going on

If I’m in bed by ten

So remember these words

And take them to heart

Young Guns and Young Turks

Show respect for us Old Farts

As you reflect on my rhymes

You’ll find no hate in my rap

Just tryin’ to hang on

Between power naps

This game’s nowhere near over

Young pups stay out of our way

Old dogs may not know new tricks

But we still call the plays

Young haters can hate

And plan to take up our space

Just know you’ll be leasing from us

And we still set the rates

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: American Idol

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jun 18, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Super Proud Dad!!

Maggie made the cut to go to the Producer’s round at Disney’s American Idol.

And then she made the semi-finals round

And then Maggie won the semi-finals in front of an audience of several hundred –and was one of five to make it to the finals.

And performed in the finals that evening –just having turned 16 (too young to compete for American Idol) and about half the average age of the other four competitors.

Just incredible…and got reviewed by the judges as “Taylor Swift like” and ” a music producer and marketer’s dream”

===

Like daughter like father

That was the thought today when Maggie persuaded me this morning to try out for Disney’s American Idol–after her great success making it all the way to the finals.

I was alone in a small room with an affable Disney female judge and with my daughter Maggie sitting in the corner grinning with anticipation.

Judge: Can I get your name and is this your daughter?

Me: John Brown and, yes, this is my daughter Maggie and she made the finals at Disney’s American Idol yesterday. (Hoping to score a few points for myself with this fact.)

Judge (to Maggie): Oh my goodness! Congratulations!! I see up to 50 contestants a day and send maybe 1 to the producer who decides if that person goes to semi finals. You must be very proud, Dad.

Me: Yes, very proud for sure!

Judge: Tell me about your singing.

Me: (looking confused)

Judge: Where do you sing? Are you trained?

Me: Oh. No training. Just sing in the shower. Sometimes.

Judge: Ok. Well…great. Go right ahead.

Me: (Fumbling with phone to read lyrics and starting off with voice quavering. I sing 30 seconds of James Taylor and know I bombed except for 2-3 seconds where I really nailed it.)

Judge: Wow. That was nice. Really nice (Saying it the way someone would who says that exact same thing about 49 times a day would say it.)

Me: (Smiling stupidly and thinking to myself if she focuses on only the 2-3 seconds I nailed it and nothing else, I might get to next round….but knowing that isn’t happening)

Judge: If you could get some training in voice and practice singing and really commit to it, etc, etc.

Me: (Before she drops the “Congratulations for trying” bomb, I interupt) That is great and I really appreciate it but I need to let you know that for the finals competition (I look at my daughter), I am really busy this afternoon and can’t make it then. But I can do the finals competition later this afternoon or early evening –but it would have to be after 5pm. Sorry. But I have some.work commitments I really need to….

Judge: (Most awkward smile I have seen in a long time) Ok, Mr Brown. Let me explain how this process works.

Me: (interrupting) I am just kidding. I know I didn’t make it.

Judge: Phew! OK. Wow! You had me worried there for a minute.

Me: Yeah. No need to tell me how close I was. I think the key was I needed a Valium. Then my voice wouldn’t have quavered.

Judge (laughs) Well…

Me: And if I had brought an extra Valium for you, too, I think I could have made it to the next round.

Judge: You are funny. If you develop your voice, you would be really good with the audience. (Then she wrapped it up like she does about 49 times a day so feelings don’t get hurt– and, mostly, to avoid losing contestants snapping and having a total melt down.)

I didn’t have a meltdown and my feelings weren’t hurt either. I shook the judge’s hand and left. I was disappointed I didn’t make the cut but glad I tried — and really glad I wouldn’t have to come up with several hundred Valium for the audience if I had made it to the next round.

And besides, my daughter rocked the finals competiton two nights before.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Thoughts of the Day

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jun 17, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Thought for the day…(Footwear mindfulness)

Today I refuse to give in to the temptation to wear white socks with casual shoes –while wearing shorts–no matter how comfortable the footwear combination may seem to me. I will be deliberate and steadfast in my commitment –even into late afternoon while just walking around the house.

===

This moment is not one you ever plan for or think could ever happen to you.

If you were given a lie detector test a week earlier where you are asked if you will ever wear white socks and casual shoes you would swear it will never happen and would pass the test with flying colors.

And then one week later, when you are just minding your own business, you look down and see this.

It just happens.

This doesn’t mean you are a liar.

It doesn’t mean you are old.

It just means you have passed through a “shame threshold” that only others who can be seen dressing like this can fully appreciate and understand.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: The mind of a child vs the mind of an adult

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jun 16, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

The mind of a child vs the mind of an adult. (Or how Sirius radio works)

A child’s view of the world is very different from how we view the world as an adult. When we are young we are naive and innocent. But as adults we are experienced and wise.

When I was 7 and 8 years old and being driven to Wilder Elementary School we would listen to WAKY radio. I had become a music fan and –though I loved the music—was mostly amazed by how I imagined, logistically, radio pop stations made it all work.

I believed that bands would come from all over the country to go into the WAKY studio and play one song and then leave and make room for the next band. Sometimes twice in one day if they had a popular song.

I figured commercials allowed the next band time to set up but suspected even with that extra time if must really be tough moving in and out the musical equipment for different bands all day every day just so each could play a single song.

Today I am an adult and am experimenting with Sirius radio. On Sirius, I can listen to whatever kind of musical bands I am in the mood for on the radio. And no commercials.

My adult mind is mature enough to figure out that since there are no commercials there is no way each band’s equipment gets moved in and out of the radio studio. My mature and experienced mind knows that the Sirius radio stations must already have all the possible instruments on hand for each band to use. And that’s how they manage to play music all day without commercials.

But as wise and knowing as I am today at 51, I don’t understand why AM and FM stations competing with Sirius haven’t figured this out and are doing it too.

Of course, some radio stations gave up altogether and just hire people to talk all day long about news. All these stations have to do is buy a whole bunch of musical instruments and they could have great bands in the studio playing top 40 hits all day everyday instead. Why this isn’t happening–even with my adult mind– is totally baffling me.