By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Dear God,
Don’t get me wrong and please know I am just trying to help.
I appreciate you keeping up the regular supply of much needed water to us. But splashing us every few days with water everywhere with these rain storms just makes it seem like you aren’t keeping up with the times. Nobody down here is saying anything yet about your old fashioned water deliver methods but I worry they eventually will–you know how we are. And who needs that?
For example, I was at a Thornton’s early this morning (the one off Shelbyville road in Louisville, KY across from the Starbucks) and out in front there are, like, 50 cases of bottled water all lined up in neat rows. (I think it’s that fancy water that comes from the French Alps. And if the French can transport tons of water in neat little bottles, I know you can come up with something even better than that!!)
Look, it’s 2014 and there are all kinds of ways to deliver water to us that are way more efficient than the old way of just raining it down on us every few days without notice.
If you want me to ask the bottled water guy at Thorntons for some ideas for you, I will but won’t tell him I’m asking for you. We can keep it between us.
Just trying to help,
John
By John Y. Brown III, on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 2:59 PM ET Mavericks can be good guys
So long to James Garner who made us smile more than he made us think– because his characters seemed always to have a short-cut line to the obvious.
Commonsense, plain talk and good-naturedness made Garner’s characters both relateable and admirable to us watching at home. And always, of course, endearing.
James Garner’s characters never quite rose to the level of charming because charming connotes some degree of manipulation being at play. And whether playing a Maverick or plained clothed Rockford detective, Garner’s characters were always defined by their transparency. They were mischevious, yes; but never covert or manipulative. His characters were certainly known for cracking wise — but the emphasis was always on the wise part rather than the cracking part. He always was, underneath it all, a gentle man playing someone tougher than he was meant to be…but happily playing along.
James Garner always seemed to play the guy you wanted to hang out with but never got the chance to.
And now he’s gone. But it was sure nice knowing him Thanks for all the smiles, Mr Garner, especially the knowing smiles that were your trademark. You will be missed.
And we suspect you have already found something in Heaven that is causing you to smirk to yourself –gently, as always. It’s just too bad we can’t be watching.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET When I was 14 and staying with my father for the summer, I was in a hurry one day about something and knocked hard on the aging condo door and hit a spot of deteriorated wood and immediately got about a half dozen splinters in two of my fingers.
Thee door was flung open by my father’s lady friend who informed me my father wasn’t back yet and then noticing me holding my fingers while trying to hold back tears asked me what was wrong. I explained about knocking into some dead wood on the door and getting splinters to which she paused momentarily and then mustered the response, “If I were you, I wouldn’t have done that.”
I looked up at her in disbelief that she really said something so completely unhelpful. I decided she just really didn’t care that much and it was probably a hassle for her to come up even with that lame response.
They didn’t date for very long but ever since then when I find myself in a situation that catches me off guard and I have no desire to help with or feign concern about another person’s misfortune, I think to myself (and sometimes even say out loud, “If I were you, I wouldn’t have done that.”
So last week when the car dealer where we recently bought a car called me to check up on how we liked our car so far I told him we were very pleased. But when he then explained the salesperson had forgotten to charge sales tax on our car and I was going to need to pay them an extra $1300, I paused dumbly and then had a ready answer for him.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jul 17, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Has this ever happened to you?
“Unbelievable!” is all you can say.
You walk out of a coffee shop back to your car and notice a new and severe crack down the rear right side that wasn’t there when you parked. You utter in frustration, “Oh… man! How did this happen?” startling a women walking in with heels so high the break in concentration almost causes here to fall.
Not wanting to cause any injuries you stop talking out loud to yourself as your mind starts racing about how much this is going to cost you to fix and how unfair it is since you just got your car fixed less than a month ago for something else that wasn’t your fault (even though it really was your fault).
And then you realize your car is actually in the space behind the car you are fixated on and is just as you left it 20 minutes earlier.
And you pull out feeling the universe is, after all, a pretty fair place. And like you got your first good break of the day already and it’s not even 730am.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jul 16, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
  So, I got a haircut.
And I lost 23 lbs.
(Jan 2nd 2014 vs July 2nd 2014)
I’m calling it the “Facebook Diet” because a key motivator is regular Facebook updates on my progress.
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Out with the old –and too big.
21 months ago I bought a pair of jeans that are 34w as an incentive to fit into them 2 months later.
21 months –and 21 lbs– later I fit into them. Not what I would call “a comfortable fit” but I am wearing them anyway.
And got rid of all my 38w pants today along with a few other (now) oversized clothes.
Off to Evolve consignment store and Goodwill.
And 19 months late is still better than never. Or even 20 months later.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jul 15, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Young people –especially young men in their 20s, 30s and even 40s– like to think they know it all.And it is embarrassing but critical as they get older to re-evaluate and correct long-held but wrong assumptions.
For example, in your 50s you start to realize that the blow dryer on the wall in men’s restrooms that you have been using to dry your hands for decades is actually for drying your pants.
Or maybe it is just practical creativity and innovation that comes with age.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jul 14, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Guess what?
If you are simple and from the South one day you will grow up. Maybe you are 51, like me, when it happens. Maybe younger; maybe older.
But one day you come to realize that life really isn’t like a box chocolates.
It’s a painful realization at first. But you will just have to deal with it.
Even Forrest Gump, at age 51, would probably say life is really more like eating a piece of Peanut Brittle with sensitive teeth.
Don’t get me wrong. Life is still good. But we have to learn, even here in the South, life is more complicated than we thought—and that we can’t chew if we want to enjoy life and have it last a long time. Especially with sensitive teeth.
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Thought for the day
Today I will go slower to go farther.
And if I get too far ahead of myself, I will speed up.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jul 11, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET My two cents.
For 20-somethings there are plenty of challenges –finishing education, entry level jobs, marriage, first home, starting family and so on. These are just some of the major life challenges often stared down in the 20s decade.
But the life challenge during this period that is perhaps most important of all is what I call “finding your people.”
By that I mean finding out where you fit and can be you–be your best self and thrive most naturally. Not the people our parents believe or think we should fit with. And frequently not the people we ourselves in our 20s believe or think we want to fit with.
Sometimes we find this group in the course of our education or work or just stumble onto them. Sometimes it’s the last group we think of looking to.
Sometimes they find us.
And, ironically, it is often the group we find ourselves among while we rest –between looking for groups we are trying to fit ourselves into. In this instance we can stop looking and just pull up a chair and sit down.
We are home.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jul 10, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET Ignorance isn’t bliss. Or else almost everybody would be blissful –instead of straining to pretend we are knowledgeable.
Maybe that is an overstatement but the prevalence of my own ignorance astounds me sometimes.
Today I listened to a gentleman point out how many times a particular word shows up in a particular book. The idea was that the word –a concept really–was important because it is used so often by the author.
That got me to thinking. “OK then. What word is used more than any other in the book? That word must be the most important word of all, right? I figured it is probably the word ‘the.’ That doesn’t mean ‘the’ is the most important word or “message.” It is just ironic given the point my friend was making –and I (silently) was being a smart aleck.
But then I tried to define “the” to myself. “Well,” I thought, “it’s an article…and means…um…um….well what it means is….it is….means…..geez…I got nothing.”
That’s right. In addition to “the” perhaps being the most common word in most any book, “the” is the word –of the thousands of words I utter each day–the word I use most of all!!
And I have no idea beyond a finessed fake answer what the dickens “the” means or how to define it. My most used word in the English language.
So I looked it up. And here is the definition.
“The (used, especially before a noun, with a specifying or particularizing effect, as opposed to the indefinite or generalizing force of the indefinite article a or an):the book you gave me; (Come into the house)”
And I was reminded why I am not able to define “the” –and probably never will be able to.
But I am gonna keep using the heck out of the word “the” anyway!
The end. (Whatever that means.)
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jul 8, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET  Whoa, Dude!
John’s excellent adventure–at least according to Facebook
Last night I was in Lexington and did login to Facebook account with a new replacement phone.
But this morning when I woke up and read the notice, it says I was in Atlanta, GA!
I have no recollection of driving to Atlanta last night to log into Facebook but apparently, according to Facebook, I did. I do remember the drive back to Louisville seemed a little longer than usual.
All I know is I woke up this morning with a hazy memory of last night. I just hope it was awesome.
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