Contributing RPs

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Being Judgmental, Hypocrisy, and the iPhone 6

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Sep 26, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

This morning as I left a business meeting I spotted a long snaking line outside an ATT store as people waited for a chance to buy the new iPhone 6.

I self-righteously shook my head and muttered sarcastically to a guy snapping a picture of the line, “Wonder if any of those people would wait in line that long to talk to someone on their new iPhone?” We snickered condescendingly like adolescents and he responded, “Pitiful, isn’t it?” After he stepped aside, I snapped this shot myself and got in my car and left –off to do something more important than anticipating the new iPhone.

45 minutes later I was driving by a different ATT store and parked outside the store to do a conference call. After the call I had a few minutes to spare and wandered inside just to see what the new iPhone 6 looks like. The sales rep started pitching me and encourged me to hold the phone, which I did. He smiled at me, “Feels good, doesn’t it? Looks good, too.” I replied, “You are good….but I am just looking and not buying” and I scurried out the door.

Two hours later I had another meeting at the coffee shop by the ATT store in this picture. I got to the coffee shop about 15 minutes early and decided to stop inside ATT since there was no line and because I wanted to just “look” at the new iPhone one more time.

As I stared at the display model and was about to touch it a sales rep interrupted me and asked if I would like to get one and said they still had a few in stock.

“Probably just in white, though. Right?” I said discouragingly.

“Actually we have a few silver and black models left.”

I pointed to my watch and said, “Thanks anyway but I have to meet someone in 15 minutes and don’t have time to get a new iPhone today even if I wanted to and had the extra money.”

“Fifteen minutes is plenty of time” the sales rep assured me, “and under our new plan you don’t pay anything down and only a monthly fee of about $30.”

“Really?” I responded dumbly.

Twelve minutes later I walked out of the ATT store with a new iPhone 6. And I felt good about myself and happy to be an “early adopter” as they call it. As I walked toward the coffee shop I looked back where the line had been this morning –the line that I had smugly taken a picture of to post in Facebook later tonight to poke fun at people who seemingly had nothing better to do today than make sure they got the new iPhone the day it went on sale.

But I didn’t do that. I did post the picture—but posted it because even though I am not standing in that line in the picture, I might as well have been. In fact, I was worse. I doubt any of those eagerly waiting in line this morning went to three stores before buying their phone. And they were happy, not ashamed, to admit their enthusiasm.

Fortunately for me I don’t think anyone in this picture bothered to snap a photo of a smirking guy standing a few yards away taking a picture of them— and then post the picture of me on Facebook under the title “Pitiful.”

They had better things to do.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Apology Form

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Sep 25, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

This is my first “Apology Form” to Rebecca and I checked “Other” for the reason for bad behavior –and wrote I was merely “creating a growth opportunity” for Rebecca.

Rebecca appreciated the effort and felt like it was “a start.”

And asked if I got several pads of Apology Forms for the future.…

Rebecca also noted I put down the wrong date (11/13). I told her I would fill out a new form with the correct date and to just hold on to this one for me to use in mid-November.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Theological Questions

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 24, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Theological question:

If you say something to someone at church that is supposed to be humorous –and only moderately inappropriate –and the other person sighs, shakes his head, and says he will pray for you, is it OK to tell him you prefer he didn’t because “I don’t want God to know we are friends”?

(Note: I did not say this. But thought to afterwards and may try out the line some time. I tend to get this comment a lot.)

===

Remember when you felt as excited about the iPhone 5 as you do today about the iPhone 6?

And thought you always would?

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Facebook Messenger

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 23, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

I have received multiple “messages” today from Facebook’s new “Messenger” app. It essentially forces you to download it by making it too complicated to figure out how to avoid the irritation of the constant requests by Facebook to download it—and so you just downloading it to stop the requests to, well, download it.

And then I seem constantly to have a tiny person pictured in a circle in the bottom right-hand corner of my phone who just messaged you. The messaging itself i…s fine, of course, but the giant bubble of a person appearing on your phone –and, again, being too complicated (for me anyway) to figure out how to get rid of– is making this exciting new Messaging app on Facebook too burdensome for simple low-tech people like me to want to mess with.

Besides, bubbles just aren’t a good contour for me personally. I look better inside a rectangle or square.

I would message this message complaining about the new Messenger app to the right person at Facebook if I knew how to –and who at Facebook to contact. But there doesn’t appear to be a little bubble of a Facebook person to “message” about such things. Maybe the folks at Facebook don’t care for that little irritating bubble person on their phones either. I can’t say I blame them.

Sometimes, perhaps, the best “app” is the one you don’t create.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Mondays

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 22, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Slow down people.

It’s Monday. We have all week to get on each others nerves.

===

Some mornings I wake up and look over at my lovely wife Rebecca and am overcome with joy at how lucky she must feel to be married to me. God is good.

I just smile and let her sleep. And keep my happy thought to myself.

===

Deep thought:

If thinking something –but not saying it— is almost as bad as saying it, does that mean that saying something –but not thinking it –is almost as bad as thinking it?

Note: I didn’t think about this or say it out loud before writing it. I just wrote it. And am probably going to keep it that way.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Morgan Freeman

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Sep 19, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

I am at a point in my life when it would really help a lot if I had a voice that sounded like Morgan Freeman’s so people would listen in wonderment when I spoke to them.

Instead I often am asked to repeat myself. And I do. In my non-Morgan Freeman-esque voice.

===

I sometimes like to tell myself that ice chai tea latte is really a cover for some sort of secret super human jet fuel.

That way I don’t feel as guilty for drinking so much of it.

===

“You can still say the wrong thing later.”

Food for thought before I blurt out an unneeded opinion in a tense situation.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Kiboshing Klout

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Sep 18, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Kiboshing Klout

I just got an email update that my Klout score has dropped another point.

I am emailing Klout back to tell them I don’t give a **** anymore and suggesting they make up some new imaginary vanity metric and to please leave me out of it.

Here is my email:

“Dear Klout, I am good enough, I am smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.

So please **** off”

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: WWE

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 17, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

WWE superstar Damien Sandow pitches me on a unique idea.

“I can see it now, John. Imagine the marquee.. Champion Damien Sandow vs challenger John ‘The Body’ Brown in an epic wrestling match at the Louisville YUM Center.

It has all the classic elements of a great athletic drama. Youth versus Age; Strength versus Weakness; Speed versus Slowness; Agility versus Clumsiness; Exciting versus Dull; and Height versus Width.

It could be a wrestling match for the ages.”

As you can tell from my expression, I’m intrigued but still need some convincing before I accept this seemingly sensible –yet bold — proposal.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Diet Update

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 16, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

Weighing in. One last time.

8 months and 4 days ago I weighed 205.4 lbs and set goal for myself to get down to 178.5 lbs.

Today I weighed in at 177.1 lbs.

I did it.

But only for today. The point of this post isn’t to declare victory but to recommit to maintain this new way of eating and exercising. Daily.

Somehow posting about my diet on Facebook and providing updates helped keep me accountable and the encouragement I received from so many Facebook friends was a wonderful motivator.

Thank you. Very much.

And now….not the end of a diet but merely the continuation of a new lifestyle.

No secrets to this diet. Just eating a little less and exercising a little more. And doing it every day and being patient. Going slower to go farther was my motto.

===

This morning I was admiring my recent weight loss in the bathroom mirror as my wife and I were getting ready to go out for coffee. After my proud moment of self-satisfaction, I threw on a pair of jeans and wet my hair before combing it and began looking for a shirt.”

My wife walked in the bathroom to explain how our dog Macy was just showing off to her by proudly holding a spider in her mouth before it dropped out and ran away.

Wanting to change the topic back to my proud weight loss, I pointed to myself and said, “Well, what do you think?”

“What?” Rebecca answered quizzically.

“This.” I responded smugly pointing in a circular motion to my torso area.

“What? You got water on you?”

“No!” I said flustered. “I’ve lost 28 lbs.”

“Oh.” Rebecca responded laughing. “You are acting like Macy showing off having a spider in her mouth.”

“No I’m not.” I said defensively. “I don’t think it’s the same thing at all. First off Macy didn’t lose 28 lbs and, second off, I am not holding anything in my mouth.”

“OK.” Rebecca said laughing to herself.

“Do you have water on you?” I repeated to myself under my breath. “Really?”

“Well, I’m proud of both you and Macy this morning.” Rebecca offered in a consoling voice.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Circling the Drain

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 15, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

That feeling you are “circling the drain.”

For some it signifies the end. For others it signifies being on the brink of a new beginning. And for others still it means the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning or, for extreme pessimists, the end of the end.

For me, though, it feels more like an extreme sport. Hangin’ 10. From near the drain. At least some days. Like today.

===

Some days I feel like I am hitting on all cyclinders and am a masterfully mindful multi-tasking maniac.

Other days I feel like my brain is operating aduquately for a 1963 model.

And every now and again it seems concerningly quiet and uneventful up there –like I am mentally moving at the speed of the video game Pong. And my side forgot to show up.

===

“I’m way deep into nothing special”

How I feel today (quoting Steely Dan, West of Hollywood)

===

Look, I get it. It’s not my post. You just aren’t in the mood to “like” something right now.

===

“It’s not personal; it’s just business.”

Really means for the person hearing this that it is no longer “business” and just became “just personal.”

===

Groups, ironically, seem to be the best place for us to learn how to be better individuals

–Leaving my men’s accountability group this morning