John Y. Brown, III

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Recovering Politician

THEN: Secretary of State (KY), 1996-2004; Candidate for Lieutenant Governor, 2007 NOW: JYB3 Group (Owner) -public affairs consulting firm; Miller Wells law firm (Of counsel) Full Biography: link

John Y. Brown, III: Fancy Farm Memories

67630_10153105831920515_446431780_nKentucky has a constitutional oath that requires officeholders to swear they won’t fight in a duel. Yet at the same time Kentucky has the political crucible of Fancy Farm that requires candidates seeking statewide… and congressional office are required to endure each August —which at times has seemed less inviting than a duel with guns (and a few times less dangerous, too.).

It’s not bullets you fear but jeers and cheers (for your opponent) and the momentary mental lapse of twist of tongue that could be the gaffe that everyone talks about the next day. You fear humiliation on the most prized of our state’s political stages, the platform for political speeches at Fancy Farm.

Fancy farm is an amalgam of history and entertainment. Part historic and revered much like the old Chautauqua assembly and yet also part “trial by ordeal” much like the carnival game of baseball toss to cause the seated person to fall into the dunking tank. As a speaker at Fancy Farm you strive to be remembered as falling into the former category rather than into the metaphorical dunking tank. And if you succeed, you are the exception to the rule.

At 32 I was the Democratic Party’s nominee for secretary of state and slated to speak at the vaunted Fancy Farm picnic. The picnic is on a Saturday and I was staying in Paducah, Kentucky the entire week before leading up to Fancy Farm to campaign in the Western Kentucky region and prepare mentally for the big day. As the big day approached, the more nervous I got. Thursday I was barely able to eat. To make matters worse, it was my anniversary and, yes, I somehow blanked out and forgot. And didn’t remember before my wife reminded me. She had not forgotten. Fortunately, with the help of some wonderful local friends we found a romantic restaurant in Paducah to spend our 4th anniversary together. And after that romantic dinner, and the gift of a kitchen table my wife had been lobbying me to buy us for several months, and the passing of another 18 years of marriage, I almost feel like that incident is behind me now. Almost.

The next day was the other big annual event that weekend: The Democratic Party’s Bean Supper in Marshall County. It was my first visit to Marshall County since the primary and I got off to a rocky start after I announced to the large audience that it was “Great to be back in McCracken County again.” After the speech the chair of the Democratic Party, Terry McBrayer, whispered to me that I was actually in Marshall County. I asked Terry if I should get back on stage and correct myself and maybe explain it was confusing with both counties starting with the letter “M” but he suggested I just let it lie and work on getting it right next year. That was wise advice.

I also learned after my less than dazzling speech that swung for the fences and at best turned out to be a broken bat single (or arguably a forced walk) that sometimes less is more from the speaking stump. I spoke after attorney general candidate and current state auditor Ben Chandler. Ben gave a familiar and non-controversial speech that was well received, as always. I was all over the place with my speech trying to stand out. Trying to quote Shakespeare and comparing Larry Forgy to Hamlet. Afterward as we listened to others give their speech I asked Ben how I did. He smiled in the way a mentoring friend would if he were wanting to say to you, “Well, you didn’t humiliate yourself. But you came darn close a few times.” Of course, Ben was too much of a gentleman to say that and instead whispered to me, “You know, it’s not always the best strategy to try to give the most memorable speech at Fancy Farm.”

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John Y. Brown, III: Fancy Farm Memories

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Redefining “Overweight”

Redefining being “overweight.”

When I was in college I had a “reducible hernia” in my lower left abdomen. I had a small protrusion that could be “pushed back in,” hence “reducible.” I would push it back in until I finally got the problem properly diagnosed and repaired. And I haven’t seemed to have a problem with it ever since.

Until this afternoon when I felt my stomach before playing basketball and my stomach is, well, I guess you could say it sort of protrudes. The main problem, however, is that it isn’t “reducible.” I can’t push it back in like I used to be able to do with the hernia in my youth.

This may just be a product of getting older or it may be a more dramatic tear….or something.

I can’t tell if I’m not pushing in the right place, or not pushing at the correct angle or perhaps not pushing hard enough. Whatever I do my stomach stays, more or less, slightly protruded and doesn’t appear to have anything it’s poking out of to be pushed back into.

jyb_musingsBut how is it my fault that I haven’t figured out yet how to put it–my stomach– back into its proper place. Until someone tells me otherwise, I’ve decided to conclude that I’m not really overweight but merely have a “temporarily irreducible and slightly herniated stomach” in my lower and upper abdomen on both sides.”

All I know is that this is a medical condition that isn’t a reflection of my lack of will power or discipline. And it’s probably just a minor flair up from my hernia repair 28 years ago. These repairs can’t last forever. This one is just a little more pronounced.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Oh, and don’t you dare ask me in my current medical condition to lift any heavy objects. I do remember that’s the last thing you ask someone with a small hernia (or even medium sized hernia–or larger) is to do heavy lifting —at least until they are fully recovered. ; )

 

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: How to be Special

Isn't That SpecialHow to be special. And be able to prove it.

I just realized, according to a popular idiom, that are very few individuals out there who can be considered special.

How did I come to this inevitable conclusion?

Yesterday I used the phrase in describing two well known public figures I had met many years ago in my childhood as two men who, “Put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us.” Therefore, my friend and I agreed that since that was the case, it was surely true that these two public personalities were “just like us” in all the important ways. That they were just normal and ordinary, after all.

But that got me to thinking, “Does that mean that everyone—every single person—who puts their pants on one leg at a time is basically an ordinary person?” I mean, that’s the whole point of the phrase, right? “He (or she) puts his (or her) pants on one leg at a time.” Ergo, they aren’t special. It’s the great equalizer. Pants putting on, that is.

In other words, anyone who puts their pants on one leg at a time instantly moves from the category of “special” (if they possess some rare talent or skill) to the category of “ordinary.”

jyb_musingsSo, how to we find truly special people? It means we should really ask–for the sake of efficiency —who DOES NOT put their pants on one leg at a time. Since that is a small group, presumably, we will quickly limit all the possible candidates for being a special person. Once we have this tiny group of people who, for whatever reason, pass the “ordinariness” threshold test by putting their pant on in some way other than one leg at a time, we are ready for the critical next step.

Of these individuals in the “non-one leg at a time pants putting on routine when getting dressed,” which ones also have some rare talent or gift? Once we identify those individuals–given we have eliminated the great equalizer test in the pants department, we will, technically speaking, have a list of the only truly “special” people in this world. Just like that!

Isn’t logic a a wonderful tool enabling us to reach correct conclusions?! It sure is!

Oh by the way, I’m trying to teach myself to put my pants on over my head like a pull over shirt. It’s slow-going so far… but I am determined. To be special, that is.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: That’s Hot!

That's HotImagine Paris (“That’s hot”) Hilton commenting, “That’s so luke warm.”

A middle-aged friend finalized his divorce recently and I tried my hand, feebly, at matchmaking.

In describing him to a divorcee woman I work with I tried to buikd him up to her.

She asked half-jokingly with a smirk, “So, is he hot?”

jyb_musingsThat caught me off guard and I recovered with this failed response.

“I wouldn’t say hot in the conventional sense of the word.. but a more middle aged kinda hot. Like something that you made to eat two days ago that gets heated up and you are pleasantly surpried to find it is still edible. Sooo, kind of hot but in the warmed-over sense. Which can be good. Like pizza.”

John Y. Brown, III: Book Sales

Incredible!

Just got to view a graph of my book sales during its first week.

All I can say is that if this were a roller coaster instead of a book sales chart, it would be epic! Everyone would want to try it!

In one week the book rocke…ted (downward) from the top 11,000 books selling on Amazon.com to the top 396,865. That is about a 4000% drop. Which is something few authors can claim. And have hard data to back it up. I claim it and have the data and am sharing it now.

There are a total of 8 million books on Amazon.com. So, in theory, being ranked 496,865th isn’t as bad as it sounds.

Except that it is.

Click here to purchase

Click here to purchase

It sounds so …..um, what’s the word?….Sounds so far behind everyone else. I guess that’s what I’m saying. I mean…have you ever had to pass up 385,000 of anything to get back to where you started? At what point do you look at that blur of 385,000 somethings and say to yourself, “You know what? I’ll try to pass some. Maybe 20 or 25. But the other 384,975 or 384,980 can have it.” I think I’m about to reach that point.

Another option that I am going to suggest to Amazon.com is to re-frame how they describe rankings in my sales territory. Tomorrow I’ll probably hit, say, rank 511,150th. I’m not going to tell anyone about that when it happens. 396,865th is bad enough. But I might be tempted to brag about it if Amazon.com described the ranking instead as “You are now ranked in the bottom 7.5 million in book sales listed on Amazon.com” Something about being in the bottom 7.5 million makes a bigger statement, makes me feel part of something bigger, and doesn’t sound so darn lonely as 396,865.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Steely Dan

1001703_10153092778035515_2004913240_nThe Dan and their fans do The ‘Ville!

The moment of truth was when Donald Fagen strode onto stage. It was more of a cautious shuffle than a swaggering stride, but it was “him.” Sunglasses and all—and it was a hip-looking cautious shuffle. And it was on!

Steely Dan was and is the smartest smoothest jazz rock pop band of my generation. At first sight Donald Fagen could have been confused for theowner of beachfront condo rental properties in South Florida about to address an audience. And we in the audience could have been confused for an AARP gathering to discuss time-share investment opportunities. We in the audience weren’t dressed to impress each other. But dressed with an understated hipness that included a tacit agreement that “I’ll pretend you look as hip, if you pretend I look hip.” But none of us were there primarily for a social event. We were there for the music.

And the music began. Instantly Donald Fagen seemed to morph from middling condo realtor into a bleached out Caucasian version of Ray Charles. And with whom, like Ray Charles, it is clear from the first note that the audience is in the presence of a musical maestro —who can do things musically (almost as an afterthought) that others would never even imagine attempting.

The concert opened with a middling performance of Green Earing but was followed with the epic Aja—which set the tone for the rest of the evening. The young drummer wasn’t Steve Gadd….but had moments that were Gadd-esque and by the close of Aja the audience had tapped into their inner Steely Dan.

Walter Becker reminisced with the audience during Hey Nineteen about a night involving Cuervo Gold and made us all feel like we had attended the same high school as he reminded us, “You all remember what it is was like. You know what it’s like now. And that is that and will always be that way.” We were peers more than fans.

Donald Fagen introduced “King of the World” from the album Coundown to Ecstasy saying it is a “new song for the band” that they hadn’t played since the 70’s and was “from a different life.” Adding to the audience, “You all can relate to that, right?” Although King of the World started clumsily The Dan found their bearings and finished elegantly. It was an inspired and inspirational moment. In addition to reveling in the music the audience was reminded that sometimes we, too, are still capably of conjuring up our creative energies and elegantly reprising something we did in the 70’s –and doing it almost as well as we did back then.

The audience began to bond with each other as we remembered that one of the things we liked about being Dan fans is that it made us feel a little superior to everyone else. Steely Dan is known for their smarty pants lyrics that take the listener to places other bands have never heard of (or if they have heard of it, wouldn’t know that it’s a chic place to go). We secretly suspect that our Dan audiences have a higher percentage of MENSA members than most other concerts. A few in the audience stood and tried dancing the entire concert, which also reminded us that Steely Dan fans weren’t always the coolest kids in high school—just the ones with the best taste in music. It’s hard to dance to Steely Dan anyway. They were always more about the music than the concert experience. In fact, for yeas they refused to even play concerts preferring instead to create flawless sounds from the studio with some of the best back-up musicians in the industry.

The highlight of the night was Bodhisattva about midway through the concert. They brought down the house with a riveting rendition of the band’s most rockin’ song. Which is fitting. A Bodhisattva, after all, is an Eastern religion enlightened being who compassionately refrains from entering Nirvana in order to save others. I think Steely Dan serves that role musically in their own Western way. And we are the beneficiaries.

As the band played on our reaction as an audience reminded me less of a typical frenzied and interactive rock concert audience and more like an audience that simultaneously followed Timothy Leary’s admonition to “Turn on, tune in, drop out.” That’s what Dan fans tend to do. When they turn on their music anyway. We behave well in concerts. Many in the audience may have had a cool buzz but no one passed out. Although nearing the end of the concert a handful of us had nodded off since it was well past our bedtime. More of a personal intermission power nap than falling asleep. We wanted to be alert for the encore.

And we weren’t disappointed when they chose to cue up Kid Charlemagne for the finale. At least that was the last song I heard. We left a little early to beat the crowd. Sure, we Dan fans love our music but we are also practical and a little self-absorbed, too, and hate being stuck in traffic.

As the Palace doors opened into the streets we talked freely to one another like we were in the same high school but just hadn’t spoken before. We all seemed to leave a little happier than we arrived. And feeling a little better about ourselves and the world we live in—and the world we lived in when we first discovered our band.

Earlier in the evening Walter Becker spoke to us not as a faceless audience but as casual peers as if we were at the house of a mutual friend and we were all just standing around downstairs listening to him and his friend Donald Fagen play the party. He reminded us that back in the day we were good. And hadn’t changed all that much. We liked hearing that and even applauded. But more importantly, as we walked back into our individual worlds after this brief escape, the performance had put us back in touch with a part of our best selves. The music helped us remember our better selves—perhaps even remembering ourselves better than we really were.

And we felt for the first time in a long time like maybe we really were that good after all— and, like Steely Dan, could still be again.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Browsing Fee

Browsing FeeI waste so much time browsing in technology stores –and then not buying anything–that I am considering charging Office Depot, Staples, and Best Buy a “browsing fee” of $4.50 every half-hour I browse.

I am valuable to them even though I rarely purchase anything because I make them look busy with an extra customer.

jyb_musingsAnd I bring the added benefit of occassionally seeing someone who I know and tbey may think, “I know John is a busy guy and if he is browsing today at Office Depot maybe I should find the time too.”

That is until this friend remembers seeing me last week browsing at Staples and the week before that seeing me browsing at Best Buy.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Me and Matthew Perry

1477_10153012924290515_1489630493_nSeeing the first sign or symptom of moving into a new phase in life can take our breath away, fill us with fear and anxiety, and send us into the dark abyss of internet searches to diagnose ourselves.

Sometimes the first sign is barely noticeable but other times it can be painfully and even shockingly apparent to everyone around the person going through a life transition. Except, of course, the person himself.

jyb_musingsTonight I ran out to Walmart to pick up some household items and while waiting in the checkout line saw this magazine with a feature story about Matthew Perry tossed into my pile of purchases.

Shocked, I looked around to see who was the culprit.

It was me.

This is scary and good mean a range of possible life transitions. Some of them socially fatal.

John Y. Brown, III: Happy Birthday, Jonathan!

jmjyb-289x300I’d like to wish a very happy 46th birthday to my dear friend Jonathan Miller.

Our paths first crossed over 18 years ago when I was a mere 31 years old and running for secretary of state. I was in need of a campaign manager willing to work for cheap. Preferably nothing. And no one seemed interested until our mutual friend David Hale introduced Jonathan and me.

Jonathan was a Lexingtonian who was a super high achiever who had graduated from Harvard and Harvard law and was working at a top DC law firm but pining to move back to his home state of Kentucky to settle down. He had also caught the political bug and just finished working in a congressional campaign in TN and was looking for something to do next in politics. Helping my campaign seemed like a good excuse to get back to Kentucky and satisfy his political itch.

David introduced us by phone and Jonathan and I talked for 45 minutes. I hoped I had impressed him. A few days later Jonathan sent me transcripts for two TV commercials and then helped make them and served as my campaign manager. He never charged me a penny. And I will never forget that life changing gesture.

Here are the two ads he created that helped me win.

And the picture on top of this post is of us on election night. Much younger than 50 and 46. I’m guessing if my math is correct, 31 and 27.

IMG_20130724_122709We served in statewide office together over the next decade and now are having fun trying our hand at writing with Jonathan’s blog The Recovering Politician. Here’s his recent book and mine.

We aren’t as competitive as we once were but I’d like to point out that my book (at 366 pages) is bigger than his book (at 206) pages. And that when it comes to book length, I believe size still matters.

He’s a good man and friend and I hope he has 46 more of these, at least. And hope I am around to wish him happy birthday for each. And Lord knows what new idea he’ll be pitching for me to work on him with next decade. Although I can already see him creating a national shuffleboard league during our 80s in which Jonathan creates an international shuffleboard tournament in Boca Raton and gives half the proceeds to develop new houses powered by solar energy on planet Jupiter and transforms the first Jupiter house into a satellite office he dedicates to No Labels.org and promotes both announcements on his Recovering Politician blog.

Because although that will be 35 years from now, Jonathan will never completely recover from politics and the political bug. And I’m grateful for that.

Happy birthday, youngster.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: The Difference in Haricuts

The difference between Louisville, KY and New York City…

In Haircuts .

NYC:

A guy named Louie, a rough 60 year old Italian man who has been cutting hair for 32 years, shampoos, cuts and dries your hair. He doesn’t ask you how you want your hair cut but tells you what you need to have done. And then cuts it the way he wants even after you tell him you want your haircut a different way. But you like it better.

You think of the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and wish you could have been on it as a guest but that no one ever found out about it because it never aired–but you could have gotten some good clothing, style and haircut tips. You see another guy getting his haircut checking you out and take it as a compliment. Louie is finished with everything in 14 minutes and 45 seconds and charges $27.50. And you feel it is a bargain. And tip him $5 even though he doesn’t speak to you the entire time.

He successfully upsells you gel that you later throw away because you never use gel but didn’t want to admit that to Louie. There is no follow up appointment because Louie knows that next month you are going to be back in Kentucky and he’ll never see you again. And he also knows you’ll probably throw away the gel. But you won’t forget him or his name.

Louisville:

A young lady named Kera, a cute 23 year old woman from Louisville who finished cosmetology school last fall, shampoos, cuts and dries your hair. She asks you how you want it cut and you tell her and she tries to follow your instructions and does.

jyb_musingsBut you don’t like it as much as you’d hoped. You continuously scan the salon and keep hoping that the clientele who are 85% female doesn’t assume you are gay because you are getting your hair cut there instead of a barber shop—and try to look very heterosexual and uninterested in your haircut.

Kera is finished with everything in 27 minutes and it costs $17. And even though you had an interesting conversation with her about her family and where she went to high school (it is Louisville, remember, and where you went to high school is always the first question to a stranger) wish you’d asked for the other woman who’s name you can’t remember but you think starts with an “L” who cut your hair a few months ago —and you only tip Kera $3 but tell yourself it was because it was just easy to give her a $20 and be done with it and not ask for more $1 bills.

She fails to upsell you gel but then remembers you never use gel and apologizes for asking again. She successfully schedules your next appointment and reminds herself to try to upsell conditioner next time instead of gel.

Which you may buy, if it’s the woman who’s name starts with an “L.” Or maybe it’s an “M.”

John Y.’s Video Flashback (1995):

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