By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jan 25, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Are the eyes truly the window to the soul?
I think they are.
About 5 years ago a book came out titled, “A Hand To Guide Me: Legends and Celebrities Celebrate the People who Shaped Their Lives.”
It had a picture of Denzel Washington on the cover. (See below).
This book had an important impact on me.
I never bought the book, or the book on tape.
Never borrowed it from a friend to read. In fact, never once opened the book. Never even ever touched it.
But I would stare at it every time I’d go to the book store, which was at least once a week. This went on for nearly six months.
What did I stare at? Denzel Washington’s calm, humble and yet assured look. Not seeming assured with confidence– but rather assured with integrity.
I love this picture and decided I wanted to live my life in such a way that if the eyes are truly the window to the soul, one day I could transmit through my eyes the same calm and peaceful soul Denzel Washington appears to in the picture.
I’m still working on that…and will be for years to come. Many days I feel my eyes look less like a composed and serene Denzel and more like the frenzied, fearful, vacant eyes of the protagonist in the movie Eraserhead.
But I try. It’s a goal. And a good one. And I got if from a book. With a picture of a man who’s soul spoke to me.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jan 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Desire for Self improvement fades with age.
Maybe completely.
Younger version of me: Was obsessively trying to improve myself.
I used to spend a lot of time trying to pinpoint faults, flaws and quirks in my personality and try to correct them. I’d scan the Web reading up on a variety of mild but annoying maladaptive behaviors, take online tests, reading up on how to eliminate such unwanted traits and try to seek to remove them from my personality. And often having some success.
Older version of me (now): It’s hard to describe but basically I don’t …… I dunno know….really care much anymore about self-improvement.
I am still all for improving myself but only if it doesn’t take any real effort or concentration.
If I identify some weakness, bad habit or maladaptive behavior, it’s not from taking an online quiz. I tried recently and didn’t even finish reading question #2 before quitting and mumbling to myself, “Really?! You really want to do this now?”
And if I do become convinced I have some undesireable traits, instead of working mightily to be rid of them, I find myself saying things like, “It’s all good.” What does that even mean? I think it means, “I’m too lazy to do anything about whatever you’re complaining about. Here’s a quarter. Call someone who cares. I’m cool with my little quirks.”
And get this! A younger friend asked me about a bad habit he had to give up and asked me what would I do. I gave it about 2 seconds of thought and said, quite seriously, “Instead of fighting it….or trying to “stop” doing it, why don’t you try ’embracing it.” I was serious.
I wish I cared enough about self-improvement to finish this paragraph on an interesting and perceptive note, but I really don’t.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jan 23, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
“Membership Has Its Privileges.”
Oh, yes it does!
I am now a Speedy Rewards Card Club Member. Just received my “membership card.”
I have no idea what the criteria is, how many apply and are rejected, but I was offered membership on the spot without references, an interview, or even a short bio.
I had never given Speedway service station/convenience store much thought before….but I am awfully impressed with their judgment, perceptiveness, and obvious rigorous standards for from the membership selection committee. I look forward to membership festivities, camaraderie and friendships sure to develop for new “club members.”
These Speedway folks know quality when they see it. Well….and I guess I like to think I do too. I now put Speedway right up there with Costco as one of the great American retail chains.
(Full Disclosure: I am a Costco Wholesale “Executive Member” Black Card holder.)
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jan 20, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
I friggin’ love traffic jams.
L-O-V-E love ’em.
It wasn’t always this way, however. I use positive affirmations about being stuck in traffic to change my perception.
If you still get irritated with traffic jams, do like I did and think of the top 10 positive things you enjoy about being stalled in traffic.
Here’s my list that I keep handy so I’m not a grumpy guy just because a little traffic sets me back an hour or two:
Patience. Traffic jams are a golden opportunity to practice patience.
Fitness. I get to accelerate my heart rate by by 30% while sitting still and do so for a sustained period of up to an hour.
Feeling Superior. I get to see people in other cars who have lower frustration tolerance thresholds than I do. (And sometimes wave to them. While smiling serenely.)
Fun and Games. I make a game to see if I can get across the bridge before the song In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida ends.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jan 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
A young friend on Facebook (age 25) asked me what –if anything–is there to look forward to as we grow older.
I gave the standard lines that you 1) worry less, 2) have fewer people to impress and 3) regret not enjoying your youth more than you did.
It seemed like a good answer at the time. Upon reflection, though, it’s really not. I actually don’t worry less.
I’ve just become use to worrying–become inured to it. It’s like becoming use to having 3 or 4 pebbles in each shoe. It’s annoying at first. But after 20 years, you really don’t even notice they’re there — and may even miss them if removed.
Same with impressing people. The stakes are even higher now, and I actually worry more. I can’t claim youthful indiscretion or ask for a second or third chance at my age. I just figure if I blow it and end up ruining my reputation, I don’t matter as much as I used to imagine —and that would make accepting my life as an utter disgrace a little easier.
And “regretting that you didn’t enjoying your youth more” is not something that makes the aging process somehow better or easier. That part of my answer makes no sense.
I guess I’ll wait until the morning and correct my answer that there’s nothing to look forward to as you get older and to please stop asking such offensive and idiotic questions.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jan 16, 2012 at 2:00 PM ET
Martin Luther King, Jr in his own words.
Historic words that changed a nation and defined an movement one afternoon not too many years ago. Words were MLK Jr’s weaponry.
He proved that the pen can indeed sometimes be mightier than the sword (or gun, or burning cross or fire hose, as the case may be). But only if the words are borne of conviction, selected masterfully, and used in the service of a calling.
Which brings me to my oddest but personally important lessons from MLK Jr.
Years ago when I was in college I read somewhere that MLK Jr used to be caught reading the dictionary. He loved words…and saw early on the power and force verbal persuasion can have on a nation.
It encouraged me to “read” my dictionary. My old college Merriam-Webster dictionary, by the time I finished college, was the one book in my library that left no doubt that the owner had gotten his money’s worth.
Read the rest of… John Y’s Musings from the Middle: What King Taught Me About Words
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jan 12, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Earlier today I had an incident stuck on multiple automated call loops trying to get a simple question answered.
I know how it is and that these services help reduce time spent by employees dealing with routine questions but…… I had a simple but non-routine question and spent, on and off, 2 hours trying to get through. I finally did but the person kept referring to me as Mrs Brown until I corrected him–using my Barry White voice. But that’s another story.
So, as always, I tried to come up with a better way, a better mousetrap, a “big idea” to fix this commonplace problem.
But I couldn’t come up with anything beyond, well, hire live people to talk to live customers. That just doesn’t seem practical. And it’s so 1970s.
So, I griped a bit and then came up with what at the moment seemed an innovative and workable new approach that would decrease the “aggravation factor” for customers calling.
What was it?
Read the rest of… John Y.’s Musings from the Middle: Automated Call Loops
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jan 5, 2012 at 12:30 PM ET
It’s not a medical breakthrough to reverse memory loss.
Consider it more of a coping mechanism. And a darned good one at that.
Maybe memory loss is inevitable with the aging process….but don’t despair. Don’t cede anything to our younger colleagues! Instead, finesse!
You don’t need to know a whole lot in this life to be profoundly effective, successful and fulfilled. We really need only to kno…w “a little.”
The trick is to have some attitude about the little we still retain. And sometimes, if need be, ratchet up a little more attitude to drive the point home.
Afraid you’ll have trouble remembering all this? Don’t. Watch the video–repeatedly–until it becomes second nature. It says it all. And with the attitude.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jan 4, 2012 at 12:30 PM ET
Post Election Final Thoughts:
I applaud yesterday’s chaotic, surprising, and uniquely American process leading to the narrowest of narrow victories by the front-runner and a near shocking underdog upset–accompanied by a respectable third place finish from an independent and brainy gadfly.
It reinforces my belief in our democratic system. And however messy and unpredictable, it’s still a thing of beauty to behold. And to be grateful for.
Finally, if I had to pinpoint a regret it is that the race didn’t last one more week and have one more candidate with one more wise admonition. The extra week may have allowed Sen Santorum’s sensational surge to run its course ….and see the final candidate I would like to have seen in the mix peak and prevailed at just the right moment, Chance Gardner. And in his acceptance speech, in my fanciful ending, candidate Gardner would admonish Americans in Iowa and beyond by quoting Voltaire from Candide (discussing Chance’s favorite topic, gardening). “Let us cultivate our own garden.”
But I’m a romantic. And it was a Republican primary. Let’s be real. A French quote (even a self-reliant quote) to summarize the moment’s electoral message, was probably too much to ask.
Are the eyes truly the window to the soul?
But I would stare at it every time I’d go to the book store, which was at least once a week. This went on for nearly six months.
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