Musings from the Middle

John Y. Brown, III: Book Sales

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jul 29, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET

Incredible!

Just got to view a graph of my book sales during its first week.

All I can say is that if this were a roller coaster instead of a book sales chart, it would be epic! Everyone would want to try it!

In one week the book rocke…ted (downward) from the top 11,000 books selling on Amazon.com to the top 396,865. That is about a 4000% drop. Which is something few authors can claim. And have hard data to back it up. I claim it and have the data and am sharing it now.

There are a total of 8 million books on Amazon.com. So, in theory, being ranked 496,865th isn’t as bad as it sounds.

Except that it is.

Click here to purchase

It sounds so …..um, what’s the word?….Sounds so far behind everyone else. I guess that’s what I’m saying. I mean…have you ever had to pass up 385,000 of anything to get back to where you started? At what point do you look at that blur of 385,000 somethings and say to yourself, “You know what? I’ll try to pass some. Maybe 20 or 25. But the other 384,975 or 384,980 can have it.” I think I’m about to reach that point.

Another option that I am going to suggest to Amazon.com is to re-frame how they describe rankings in my sales territory. Tomorrow I’ll probably hit, say, rank 511,150th. I’m not going to tell anyone about that when it happens. 396,865th is bad enough. But I might be tempted to brag about it if Amazon.com described the ranking instead as “You are now ranked in the bottom 7.5 million in book sales listed on Amazon.com” Something about being in the bottom 7.5 million makes a bigger statement, makes me feel part of something bigger, and doesn’t sound so darn lonely as 396,865.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Steely Dan

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jul 29, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

The Dan and their fans do The ‘Ville!

The moment of truth was when Donald Fagen strode onto stage. It was more of a cautious shuffle than a swaggering stride, but it was “him.” Sunglasses and all—and it was a hip-looking cautious shuffle. And it was on!

Steely Dan was and is the smartest smoothest jazz rock pop band of my generation. At first sight Donald Fagen could have been confused for theowner of beachfront condo rental properties in South Florida about to address an audience. And we in the audience could have been confused for an AARP gathering to discuss time-share investment opportunities. We in the audience weren’t dressed to impress each other. But dressed with an understated hipness that included a tacit agreement that “I’ll pretend you look as hip, if you pretend I look hip.” But none of us were there primarily for a social event. We were there for the music.

And the music began. Instantly Donald Fagen seemed to morph from middling condo realtor into a bleached out Caucasian version of Ray Charles. And with whom, like Ray Charles, it is clear from the first note that the audience is in the presence of a musical maestro —who can do things musically (almost as an afterthought) that others would never even imagine attempting.

The concert opened with a middling performance of Green Earing but was followed with the epic Aja—which set the tone for the rest of the evening. The young drummer wasn’t Steve Gadd….but had moments that were Gadd-esque and by the close of Aja the audience had tapped into their inner Steely Dan.

Walter Becker reminisced with the audience during Hey Nineteen about a night involving Cuervo Gold and made us all feel like we had attended the same high school as he reminded us, “You all remember what it is was like. You know what it’s like now. And that is that and will always be that way.” We were peers more than fans.

Donald Fagen introduced “King of the World” from the album Coundown to Ecstasy saying it is a “new song for the band” that they hadn’t played since the 70’s and was “from a different life.” Adding to the audience, “You all can relate to that, right?” Although King of the World started clumsily The Dan found their bearings and finished elegantly. It was an inspired and inspirational moment. In addition to reveling in the music the audience was reminded that sometimes we, too, are still capably of conjuring up our creative energies and elegantly reprising something we did in the 70’s –and doing it almost as well as we did back then.

The audience began to bond with each other as we remembered that one of the things we liked about being Dan fans is that it made us feel a little superior to everyone else. Steely Dan is known for their smarty pants lyrics that take the listener to places other bands have never heard of (or if they have heard of it, wouldn’t know that it’s a chic place to go). We secretly suspect that our Dan audiences have a higher percentage of MENSA members than most other concerts. A few in the audience stood and tried dancing the entire concert, which also reminded us that Steely Dan fans weren’t always the coolest kids in high school—just the ones with the best taste in music. It’s hard to dance to Steely Dan anyway. They were always more about the music than the concert experience. In fact, for yeas they refused to even play concerts preferring instead to create flawless sounds from the studio with some of the best back-up musicians in the industry.

The highlight of the night was Bodhisattva about midway through the concert. They brought down the house with a riveting rendition of the band’s most rockin’ song. Which is fitting. A Bodhisattva, after all, is an Eastern religion enlightened being who compassionately refrains from entering Nirvana in order to save others. I think Steely Dan serves that role musically in their own Western way. And we are the beneficiaries.

As the band played on our reaction as an audience reminded me less of a typical frenzied and interactive rock concert audience and more like an audience that simultaneously followed Timothy Leary’s admonition to “Turn on, tune in, drop out.” That’s what Dan fans tend to do. When they turn on their music anyway. We behave well in concerts. Many in the audience may have had a cool buzz but no one passed out. Although nearing the end of the concert a handful of us had nodded off since it was well past our bedtime. More of a personal intermission power nap than falling asleep. We wanted to be alert for the encore.

And we weren’t disappointed when they chose to cue up Kid Charlemagne for the finale. At least that was the last song I heard. We left a little early to beat the crowd. Sure, we Dan fans love our music but we are also practical and a little self-absorbed, too, and hate being stuck in traffic.

As the Palace doors opened into the streets we talked freely to one another like we were in the same high school but just hadn’t spoken before. We all seemed to leave a little happier than we arrived. And feeling a little better about ourselves and the world we live in—and the world we lived in when we first discovered our band.

Earlier in the evening Walter Becker spoke to us not as a faceless audience but as casual peers as if we were at the house of a mutual friend and we were all just standing around downstairs listening to him and his friend Donald Fagen play the party. He reminded us that back in the day we were good. And hadn’t changed all that much. We liked hearing that and even applauded. But more importantly, as we walked back into our individual worlds after this brief escape, the performance had put us back in touch with a part of our best selves. The music helped us remember our better selves—perhaps even remembering ourselves better than we really were.

And we felt for the first time in a long time like maybe we really were that good after all— and, like Steely Dan, could still be again.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Browsing Fee

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jul 26, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

I waste so much time browsing in technology stores –and then not buying anything–that I am considering charging Office Depot, Staples, and Best Buy a “browsing fee” of $4.50 every half-hour I browse.

I am valuable to them even though I rarely purchase anything because I make them look busy with an extra customer.

And I bring the added benefit of occassionally seeing someone who I know and tbey may think, “I know John is a busy guy and if he is browsing today at Office Depot maybe I should find the time too.”

That is until this friend remembers seeing me last week browsing at Staples and the week before that seeing me browsing at Best Buy.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Me and Matthew Perry

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jul 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

Seeing the first sign or symptom of moving into a new phase in life can take our breath away, fill us with fear and anxiety, and send us into the dark abyss of internet searches to diagnose ourselves.

Sometimes the first sign is barely noticeable but other times it can be painfully and even shockingly apparent to everyone around the person going through a life transition. Except, of course, the person himself.

Tonight I ran out to Walmart to pick up some household items and while waiting in the checkout line saw this magazine with a feature story about Matthew Perry tossed into my pile of purchases.

Shocked, I looked around to see who was the culprit.

It was me.

This is scary and good mean a range of possible life transitions. Some of them socially fatal.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: The Difference in Haricuts

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jul 24, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

The difference between Louisville, KY and New York City…

In Haircuts .

NYC:

A guy named Louie, a rough 60 year old Italian man who has been cutting hair for 32 years, shampoos, cuts and dries your hair. He doesn’t ask you how you want your hair cut but tells you what you need to have done. And then cuts it the way he wants even after you tell him you want your haircut a different way. But you like it better.

You think of the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and wish you could have been on it as a guest but that no one ever found out about it because it never aired–but you could have gotten some good clothing, style and haircut tips. You see another guy getting his haircut checking you out and take it as a compliment. Louie is finished with everything in 14 minutes and 45 seconds and charges $27.50. And you feel it is a bargain. And tip him $5 even though he doesn’t speak to you the entire time.

He successfully upsells you gel that you later throw away because you never use gel but didn’t want to admit that to Louie. There is no follow up appointment because Louie knows that next month you are going to be back in Kentucky and he’ll never see you again. And he also knows you’ll probably throw away the gel. But you won’t forget him or his name.

Louisville:

A young lady named Kera, a cute 23 year old woman from Louisville who finished cosmetology school last fall, shampoos, cuts and dries your hair. She asks you how you want it cut and you tell her and she tries to follow your instructions and does.

But you don’t like it as much as you’d hoped. You continuously scan the salon and keep hoping that the clientele who are 85% female doesn’t assume you are gay because you are getting your hair cut there instead of a barber shop—and try to look very heterosexual and uninterested in your haircut.

Kera is finished with everything in 27 minutes and it costs $17. And even though you had an interesting conversation with her about her family and where she went to high school (it is Louisville, remember, and where you went to high school is always the first question to a stranger) wish you’d asked for the other woman who’s name you can’t remember but you think starts with an “L” who cut your hair a few months ago —and you only tip Kera $3 but tell yourself it was because it was just easy to give her a $20 and be done with it and not ask for more $1 bills.

She fails to upsell you gel but then remembers you never use gel and apologizes for asking again. She successfully schedules your next appointment and reminds herself to try to upsell conditioner next time instead of gel.

Which you may buy, if it’s the woman who’s name starts with an “L.” Or maybe it’s an “M.”

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Teletubbies

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jul 23, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

I wonder if anyone will ever do a retrospective—a “Where are they now” — special on the Teletubbies.

Normally I don’t care much for these sorts of programs unless I really find the person fascinating.

I don’t find the Teletubbies fascinating, but couldn’t help think they were a fluke, a children’s TV sort of “one hit wonder.”

Television characters like that –after they drop off the public radar–often fall hard and aren’t heard from again. Until death or some public crises or tragedy.

I especially worried about Po.

Who seemed to “appear” happy and functional throughout the series but was masking some deep pain and seemed on a collision course with reality, despite the happy-go-lucky persona.

Po seems to have a lot of parallels with the Partridge Family’s child star Danny Bonaduce ….but as a terrycloth children’s TV character.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Today’s Fabio Affirmation

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jul 22, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

Today’s affirmation.

“Today I will remind myself that we all can’t look like Fabio on the outside.

But we can still feel like Fabio on the inside.

And when I imagine myself today, from the inside that is, I will imagine myself with long flowing hair, a strong Roman nose, and an undisturbed inner confidence..

People may think they are talking to John Brown but they will “feel” like they have been talking to Fabio Lanzoni, but not understand why.

It is because of today’s Fabio Affirmation.

And only I need to know that.

John Y. Brown, III’s Musings from the Middle — Now Available in Paperback

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jul 22, 2013 at 9:15 AM ET

Click here to purchase

Musings in paperback!!

Anyone interested in a softcover copy of my book “Musings From the Middle” ….well, you can be the very first to make a purchase.

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From the Author

We decided…OK, I decided…that we needed (OK, I needed) to have a paperback edition. First off, I’m 50 years old and don’t really get the whole digital book thing. It’s my fault. No big deal. But figured there were others like me who didn’t feel like they were reading a book unless there were pages to turn. Second, a lot of people buy books with the intention of reading them but they eventually end up as coasters on a coffee table. That doesn’t happen with eBooks but does with paperback books. And…if you look closely there is even a stain as part of the book cover art showing a good place for a cup of coffee.

From the Inside Flap

It’s pretty much white with nothing else on it. It’s good for doodling and quick notes when you can’t find your notepad. Otherwise, not much to write about this part of the book. Some, I should disclose, found this blank page preferable to many of the pages with black type on it. If enough testimonials about the positive feedback about this blank inside flap page are reprieved, we’ll post those testimonials.

From the Back Cover

“Musings from the Middle” came about by happenstance. My good friend Jonathan Miller was launching a blog titled “The Recovering Politician” and needed regular contributors. I wrote a column for the inaugural week and then promised a follow up column every week – and then after missing my first deadline – every two weeks. After missing my new deadline several times, I confided in Jonathan that I felt like I had let him down but had too much going on to meet a regular writing deadline on serious policy matters–and I added I wasn’t in the frame of mind at this point in my life to write about political issues. I wanted a break. Jonathan graciously understood but, always the creative entrepreneur, a few days later had a new idea. “You know those random posts you put on Facebook every day?” Jonathan asked. “Yes,” I said. “What if I used them? You don’t have to write on public policy or politics and can write whatever you want about anything you want. Just keep posting on Facebook and at the end of every week I’ll pull down my favorites and post on the Recovering Politician blog the next week. I was stuck. What could I say except yes? So I said yes. And am forever grateful I did. At first we did one post a week and then three and then five. Jonathan dubbed it “Musings from the Middle.” And that was some 400 posts and 400 pages ago. So he suggested this book. Who am I to argue with this guy? Hope you have a fraction of the fun I have had in writing this!!

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OK. I just bought one (a copy of Musings in the Middle) a few minutes ago.

And then about five minutes later bought another one!

This is great! Two sales in just 5 minutes!

At this pace….over the next two hours, I will own 24 paperback copies!! Exciting!!

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A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is 376 pages long.

Why is that important. Because Musings from the Middle by me is 366 pages long—almost identical to Charles Dickens Tale of Two Cities.

Granted Moby Dick is 576 pages long but it’s about a whale and frankly I never got past the first few pages. Herman Mellville was really, really in to that whale story and probably made it as long as he did to impress people. And so it would be much longer than Charles Dickens books, who was kind of a competitor. (footnote–David Copperfield was actually longer than Moby Dick. Even though it wasn’t about whale stuff, it was pretty boring and probably Dickens trying to one-up Herman for making Moby Dick so much longer than his other novels).

Anyway, I say all that to make the point that Musings from the Middle (the paperback edition) has got a lot of pages in it. Just like Charles Dickens and Herman Melville’s better books that weren’t written just to show off.

So, if you are about to buy Tale of Two Cities or Moby Dick, you may want to think twice about that and consider Musings from the Middle instead. (It is shorter and easier to read. And doesn’t dwell on whales.)

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Breaking!! “Musings from the Middle projected to hit 1 million in sales!!”

At this rate, 3 sales (admittedly I bought all three myself but my mom is “thinking about buying one as I type this,” but let’s stick with just the numbers for now), that is 6 per hour. And 144 per every 24 hours. That’s 52,560 in the first year! Unless this is a leap year and then it’s even more! And over 20 years…..it’s over 1 Million sales!!! Pretty cool, eh?

Wow!! I can’t believe I did it!!!

Always believe in yourself!!

And always use poetic license with sales projections!!

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Here for fun…is my “Author’s update” I just gave to Amazon and will be my official plug. (This is not another plug. I swear. Not at all. Just a post about a plug. So don’t confuse them and decide to buy a book. That would not be understanding the point of this point. Buying because of the previous post is OK because that was a plug. But not ok to buy because of this one.
Also, I found out last night that to date I have earned $5.11 from all sales. I am using conservative estimates to project a “total net revenue” of about $26.74. After subtracting that from the costs of the book, about $200, that is a net profit of negative $173.26.
Not bad. Not bad at all!

From the Author
I am supposed to tell you why you should buy this book. Really, there are three reasons that come to mind. (Actually four because I thought of another one while I was writing and just stuck it in. It’s not numbered like the other three but it’s there and if you read closely enough you may be able to find it)

First off, I’m 50 years old and don’t really get the whole digital book thing. It’s my fault. No big deal. But figured there were others like me who didn’t feel like they were reading a book unless there were pages to turn. This paperback edition has pages to turn and I like that and some of you may too.

Second, a lot of people buy books with the intention of reading them but they eventually end up merely serving as coasters on a coffee table. That doesn’t happen with eBooks but does with paperback books. And…if you look closely at the cover of my book there is even a stain where a coffee cup was placed as part of the book cover art —showing a good place to put a cup of coffee when you use the book as a coaster. You don’t get that with most paperback books. But you do with mine.

Now we get to the meaty and most esoteric part of my pitch. Third, Musings from the Middle seems to have the makings of a literary classic in some ways. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is 376 pages long. Why is that important? Because Musings from the Middle by me is 366 pages long—almost identical in length to Charles Dickens Tale of Two Cities.

Now, I’m not getting into the whole quality versus quantity argument. We’ve all got our opinions on which one is most important but for my purposes here I’m going to leave that issue off the table. Let’s just all agree that both quantity and quality are pretty important and just call it a toss up for now and leave it at that.

Now back to the subject at hand. Literary classics. Moby Dick is another literary classic–and it is 576 pages long— but almost all of it is about a whale. Seriously! I like Herman Melville’s short stories but never got very far into Moby Dick because it went on and on about mostly whale stuff. He probably made it as long as he did to try to impress people. And maybe so it would be longer than Charles Dickens books—who I think was kind of a competitor at the time with Melville. Authorwise.

Charles Dickens had written David Copperfield about the same time and it has even more pages than Moby Dick AND Musings from the Middle combined–and more boring than both, if you ask me.

Frankly, when Dickens wrote David Copperfield he was probably trying to one-up Herman Melville for making Moby Dick so much longer than Dickens other novels. I don’t know this for a fact, I just know if I had been in Melville’s shoes I would have made Moby Dick that long for that very reason—just to spite Charles Dickens and let him know what he was up against if he wanted to write on and on about not much of anything at all. I can do that about as well as anyone I ever met –write on and on and not much of anything at all, that is. I really can. I swear it. Just buy my book and see for yourself. You won’t be disappointed. I promise. Heck, I’m kinda proving that point right here and right now as part of my pitch to get you to buy the book. But hold on. Don’t stop reading. I’m not finished with my sales pitch yet.

Oh, and before we go any further I want to make sure no one is confusing the book David Copperfield with David Copperfield the magician who does magic tricks on television. They are two totally different people. The magician named David Copperfield came much later in history–by over a hundred years. And is American not British. I don’t even think the two David Copperfields are related. In fact, the newer and real David Copperfield is probably a little more interesting than the older made up one. And for all I know he may even have a thin book written about him– but if he does, I can’t really recommend it. After you’ve seen his a few tricks making something big disappear. Kind of a one trick pony, if you know what mean.

Anyway, sorry for digressing but I’m a stickler when it comes to literature and history and just calling it like I seem it. Let me sum it up this way. The point is that we’ve been talking a lot here about the pros and cons of Moby Dick, David Copperfield and Musings from the Middle (the paperback edition). All three books have things to recommend them. No doubt about it. And arguments about quality aside (which we agreed to leave out in the sixth paragraph above), we can all agree that Musings from the Middle, written in 2013, has got a lot of pages in it –so you get a lot of bang for your buck, so to speak. A lot of pages for the money –about 3 cents a page, in fact. (I did the math.) Granted, you get more to read for 3 cents a page with Moby Dick and David Copperfield, but as I have said I can’t recommend either book and I think Dickens and Melville wrote them mostly just to show off and one-up each other. And that’s not a good enough reason to buy any book in my opinion.

I wasn’t trying to one-up anyone or show off with Musings from the Middle. I take that last part back. I probably was showing off a little bit when I wrote a lot of the posts in it. I’ll admit that. But still…. if you are about to buy a Tale of Two Cities or Moby Dick, you may want to think twice about it and consider buying Musings from the Middle instead. I did and have no regrets. (Full disclosure: a got a discount on mine I couldn’t get for the other two.)

I don’t think you’ll regret it either. Even without the discount. Musings from the isn’t about whales and old Englandly stuff. It’s about everyday stuff you can relate to. Like losing your car keys and funny family stories and how to get through the day without worrying about your weight and still eat an apple fritter that morning. And how if you just look honestly at the things in life that bug and worry and embarrass you the most they actually become funny instead of something you fear. And you may even start posting about them on Facebook and make your own book. And how listening to the Grateful Dead when nothing else makes sense in the world can make things a little bit better. The world still doesn’t make sense, of course, but at least there’s a nice beat in the background. And much more. I’m not telling you the whole book here. You’ll have to just buy it and read it for yourself.

And one more thing. (Here is the fourth reason I said at the top that I thought of while I was writing and that I stuck in at the end without numbering. I decided to number it anyway so it wouldn’t drive you crazy.)

Here’s the fourth reason to buy this edition. Don’t discount the fact that you’ll meet a lot of people in this world who claim they’ve read David Copperfield and Moby Dick but really haven’t. Anybody can do that. It is a moment of truth for you. A defining moment. Are you a follower or a leader? If you buy my book instead, I’d say you were a leader. Why? If you buy my book you can be one of only several dozen people in the world who can claim to have read it even though they didn’t!! Don’t just pretend to read what everyone else does from the past. Pretend to read new and modern books that no one has ever heard of or will read. Like Musings from the Middle. Think about it that way and buying this book kinda makes sense.

I will stop now. I’m just trying to help you think through this purchase in a rational and sensible way so you are ready when you have to explain to your spouse or friend why you have a brand new paperback book you are using as a coaster for your coffee cup.

Now you have a ready answer.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Got Faith?

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jul 19, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

Got faith?

Not unless you also have doubt.

Watching Life of Pi with family.

Beautiful truth –truths–about beauty of faith.

Never fear doubt. Without doubt there can be no genuine faith or development of genuine faith.

We should hope that the God we believe in isn’t afraid of questions or doubting. That God is more powerful than that.

We should consider doubt as not only necessary for faith—but faith’s most integral partner.

Doubt is the oxygen that allows our faith to breath and to grow. And without it, causes our faith to become stagnant and die.

Here’s hoping our faith continues to grow and deepen. Fearlessly.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: People Watching

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jul 18, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET

I love people watching. And engaging in subtle people interaction.

On the streets of NYC, there are lots of confident accomplished people. They just look they are someone important. They know it and we do too. They may even be celebrities. Of course, only a tiny percentage can be real public celebrities, whatever that is. But we tend to look for celebrities and famous people instinctively. And many on the workaday streets of NYC are happy to invite speculation that they are, indeed, a little more special than others walking to either side of them.

Today alone walking on the streets of NYC for several hours I saw –or thought I saw– George Clooney, Jamie Foxx (twice), Kurt Vonnegut (even though he died a few years back, but not his visage in NYC), George Peppard, George Ross (the elder general counsel and senior adviser to Donald Trump on the Apprentice), Kelly Rupa (3 times) and possibly Elliot Spitzer (although I’m pretty sure he was in Albany today), and finally at least three business execs who looked like no celebrity in particular but carried themselves like they had been (or should have been) featured on this month’s cover of Fortune Magazine. Or GQ. Sometimes it’s hard to tell those two types apart.

I’ve made up a sort of game I’m enjoying playing. When I see one of the “special looking” people of the streets of NYC—-the ones with a certain sheen and air about them who look like they are ready at that moment to be snapped by paparazzi— I make eye contact with them in a knowing and ingratiating way as if to say, “Oh my gosh. I know who you are!”

People really like it. Even though they know they aren’t the real celebrity I am confusing them with, they feel, deep down, like they could be. And maybe should be. And may even suspect they have a few things on their celebrity look alike but just didn’t get the same breaks.

It’s endearing and believable for us both. And leaves us both feeling a bit better. One of us is being admired and the other is thrilled to see someone special.

But today I began throwing in a new twist.

I look them in the eye again– a bit more seriously and solemnly as if to say, “You do remember me, don’t you?”

This all happens in just a few seconds. But it’s an amazing back and forth of communication and information. All expressed in the eyes and a few subtle facial gestures.

Sometimes the person being thought a celebrity will play along as if we somehow really do know each other in some tangential way and sort of tips his or her hat as if to say, “G’day.” Others are a little confused and withdraw. Or disengage. Still others play into the whole game either knowingly or unknowingly. But are happy to be engaged –either as a game or fantasy.

This new twist adds an extra layer of positive reinforcement. Now both individuals have been suspected of being someone special and having a special sort of bond to the other. And even having had a pleasant exchange.

Which made me wonder: Is it a game I am playing? Is it a fantasy? Does it have to be either one? Maybe….and I’m being serious here….we should look at all people in this way. As special and having a connection in some way to us and having a pleasant, albeit perfunctory, exchange.

Why not?