By Jonathan Miller, on Wed Apr 3, 2013 at 9:00 AM ET
We celebrate this year the 20th anniversary of a very important, meaningful episode of Seinfeld — the “show about nothing.”
Watch a clip, and read an excerpt of my piece about “The Outing” from The Huffington Post below:
It was 1993.
Andrew Sullivan had only recently written The New Republic cover story introducing many Americans to the very idea of gay marriage; it would be nearly a decade before any state would legalize it. The notion of “marriage equality,” furiously debated before the Supreme Court and among the nation last week, was a wholly foreign concept.
Indeed, the gay rights debate that year had concerned President Bill Clinton’s campaign pledge to allow gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military. We all know how that ended: with a terribly flawed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy that wouldn’t be repealed for another 17 years.
Along came Seinfeld, initially derided by critics, then ultimately embraced by the show’s writers, as a “show about nothing.”
Yet, in many instances, it mattered a whole lot more.
As I have argued in this space before, Seinfeld’s exposure of Judaism to Middle America — along with a handful of other TV shows such as Northern Exposure, Beverly Hills 90210, Friends — had a significant impact on Jewish Americans. We could now hold our heads up a little higher, feel a bit more comfortable to publicly pronounce our faith. We were now the tellers of Jewish jokes, alternatively wry and self-deprecating, instead of divisive and mean-spirited. It was a phenomenon that Jonathan Alter — in his famous 2000 Newsweek cover piece heralding Joe Lieberman’s history-making Vice-Presidential candidacy — labeled the “Seinfeldizing of America.”
And so too did the show help raise awareness of LGBT issues — and expose the toxicity of bigotry toward the gay and lesbian community. The most memorable example, the 1993 episode entitled “The Outing,” featured a young NYU reporter mistakenly thinking that Jerry Seinfeld and best friend George Costanza were actually gay lovers. It was a charge that both of them furiously denied, followed quickly with the disclaimer: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that…”
Click here if you want to read the whole piece. If you don’t, that’s your problem.
I’ve been lulled to sleep for two nights by the constant thrum of the sea meeting shoreline outside my cabana. This morning when my daughter Abby awoke after 11 hours of sleep, she said, “How is it only 6:30am?”
Welcome to vacation where time expands!
I think that “vacation” is misunderstood. There is typically no more obvious time in life when we are more present, aware, and happy. It’s here, away from the rigors of usual demands (and ironically the reliable comforts of home) that we come home to ourselves–act in accordance with the natural rhythm of our internal needs and desires.
Vacation implies that everything is left behind: work, school, bills, responsibilities, relationships, routine. But, is all that stuff really the everything of our lives, or is it just the stuff we’re in the habit of thinking of as everything?
Abby is nearly 17, a junior in high school and feeling the pressure of looming AP finals, end of year exams, and ACT testing (dinosaurs, the ACT is the new SAT). So stressed and controlled by these things, she believed she didn’t have “enough time” for spring break this year.
So one of us kept a clear head and here we are. We’re just over two days into our beachside vacation and she has easily retained more study knowledge than she usually manages (painfully) in three days. And, she’s most definitely taking breaks to sun herself, swim, shop, swing in the hammock, walk along the beach, eat, read fiction, and nap.
This excursion to Mexico with said previously stressed teenager was actually a little experiment in faith, for me. I knew in my heart that if she could study at home, she could do so here while drinking from a coconut and looking at the water each time she lifts her head. I wanted her to experience this combination of daily integrated, rest/play/work, because this stress-less integration is what I want for her for the rest of her life.
Read the rest of… Lisa Miller: It Turns out that Vacation is not Just a State in Mexico
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Apr 2, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Yeah, c’mon. Don’t look confused. You know exactly what I’m talking about. And, yeah, I would be embarrassed too. In fact, I admit that I am right now.
Middle aged guys in business no longer play extreme sports or get into bar fights or even raise their voice in a combative way outside the home, the final domain of the toothless tiger. Remember the Will Ferrell SNL skit, “You should respect me because I drive a Dodge Stratus!”? That’s the mentality I’m getting at with the title above.
We are driving late today in the minivan and my teenage daughter and her friend are in the backseat and I get a business call I “have to take.”
It goes on and on and I’m thinking to myself, “I hope my daughter is listening to this. I’m on my game and sounding pretty darned impressive right now. Maybe she’ll finally appreciate how tough my conference calls and business meetings and PowerPoint presentations really are.”
And as an added bonus her friend was listening too and would surely reinforce this belief, I was sure, by later commenting to my daughter when I wasn’t around, “Wow, Maggie, did you hear all those acronyms you father was using? He must be really smart and important. I didn’t understand most of what he was saying. He’s a lot more impressive my other friends’ dads. You are so lucky.” (Or words to that affect)
As the call was winding up, I kicked it up a notch. Threw in some gratuitous “ROI” comment and a then long string of business acronyms that darned near made it sound like I was speaking an entirely foreign language that was so complicated it is made up entirely of abbreviations. I looked for an opening for the word “synergy” but had to settle for “coop-ition” which I kinda made up since I was already on a roll.
And then I calmly and smoothly hung up the phone and slipped it in to my cowboy-like holster. All the while knowing the ‘lil ladies in the backseat had just witnessed that there was a new sheriff in town.
I paused for a moment, and slowly swerved around to “apologize” for my important business call and, I admit it, see if they had any questions.
Both of them had put in their earphones and were listening to their iPods totally oblivious to the machismo heroics that had just occurred in the front seat of the minivan. That my wife was driving for me.
“All finished?” my wife asked with the tone I remembered hearing the first time my mom told me I was wearing “big boy pants.”
I felt like I should say “I’m playing cowboy.” But didn’t have the guts to admit it.
By Jonathan Miller, on Tue Apr 2, 2013 at 11:52 AM ET
Magic Johnson’s Son Goes Public with BF — Parents So Proud
Magic Johnson‘s 20-year-old son hit the Sunset Strip, hand in hand with his boyfriend … and his parents couldn’t be happier for their kid.
Earvin Johnson III — aka EJ — is one of Magic’s 3 kids. The Lakers legend tells TMZ, “Cookie and I love EJ and support him in every way.” Magic goes on, “We’re very proud of him.”
The feeling is mutual … ’cause EJ told us he’s been “hoping and praying” for his dad’s team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, ever since Magic and his business partners took over the franchise.
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Apr 2, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
I’m going to make it official: communication is no longer linear. What do I mean by that? Linear communication is the tennis volley. You write a letter to a friend or lover. (Snail mail, anyone? I don’t think so.) You wait for a response. You email someone. They reply to your email. Your text bubbles are evenly matched and go back and forth in a relatively equal fashion.
What’s non-linear communication? Posting Happy Birthday on your friend’s Facebook wall and never expecting a reply. Texting someone multiple times because they never reply to your texts. (Not recommended in a dating context.) Needing to email someone a few times before they notice. Tweeting.
We have come to expect one directional communication. Is this human connection? Yes, it’s a form of it. Is it a good way to promote a cause, share breaking news or start a revolution? Totally. Is it a good way to make you feel totally popular on your birthday? Absolutely. Does it help you stay in touch with acquaintances and stay on their radar screen for party invites and the like? Yes! Is it healthy in the realm of dating and romantic relationships? Hell no. There’s the rub.
I am considered to be a dating expert (Well, Oprah called me one so that makes it so.) Yet I don’t have many hardfast rules in my arsenal. I’m not a Rules Girl in that way. But I have always had one rule in dating that is extremely useful:
“Don’t make two moves in a row.”
Useful until now, that is. The reason why it works is because you get to find out if the person is truly interested or not. The convention wisdom is that if they are interested, they will reply back. You can avoid a lot of wasted time this way. Rather than continually reaching out to someone who says they’re busy when what they are really trying to say is: “Not interested,” you just wait to see if they reply. Radio silence gives you your answer.
But these days it is pretty impossible to tell if someone just didn’t get the message. How many times do you get a little Facebook chat push notification on your phone and then it marks it as read before you even open it? And how many friends do you have that either never reply on Facebook, or only reply on Facebook, or will reply to a text but don’t read your email or vice versa? And then if you ever attempt to date someone 10 years your junior or your senior, you completely can’t synch up your communication methods?
In the words of Charlie Brown, “Argh!!” And speaking of Charlie Brown, it often feels like the people on the other end of all of my communication media are just like those grown-ups on the Peanuts: “wah-wah-wahwah-waaah!” I want to crawl under a rock. But that doesn’t play well in dating either. So what to do?
Always stay confident and think positive about the other person, whilst trying to keep the conversation as linear as possible. Notice what’s you and what’s them. (In other words- “Are your text bubbles HUGE and they reply: “K.”? But never never make assumptions about why the person isn’t responding in the way you’d like. You can have hunches, and certainly don’t hold off all your other plans while waiting for a reply, but don’t give in to getting paranoid.
I had some business dealings recently with a company that I found online. They make patches that iron onto uniforms and T-shirts. I couldn’t find a phone number on the website so I emailed them to ask if we could talk by phone for them to answer some questions for me. It seemed so much easier for me to deal with it by phone. But the very nice guy on the other end of email kept answering each question I had quite promptly. He never answered my question about speaking by phone. I resisted the urge to be annoyed with the fact that I couldn’t talk to him by phone and we got the deal done.
Read the rest of… Nancy Slotnick: Are you there, Buddy? It’s me, Margaret.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Apr 1, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
Biblical interpretation. (My all-time favorite)
When my daughter Maggie was about 6 or 7 years old, I tried reading portions of the Children’s Bible to her.
The first story, of course, was Adam and Eve.
… Always multitasking and preoccupied, Maggie was only half-listening until I mentioned both Adam and Eve were “naked.”
“Naked?!” Maggie’s questioned incredulously as her head whipped around and eye brows furrowed.
“I know, right?” I said. And trying to teach her to think for herself added, “So what’s up with that? Why do you think they would be, you know, naked?”
Maggie squinted her eyes as she pondered the question and then shot back an answer I wasn’t expecting.
She shrugged, and explained, “Maybe they hadn’t invented looking down yet.”
By Garrett Renfro, RP Staff, on Wed Mar 27, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET
The Politics of Love
This week the Supreme Court will hear arguments regarding the constitutionality of same-sex marriage bans. On the docket are cases involving the controversial California gay marriage ban known as Proposition 8. The justices will also hear challenges to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) which was signed into law by President Clinton.
Though many Senators and House members have come out in recent weeks to express their support for marriage equality, Kentucky’s own Rand Paul took a slightly different view of the problem while appearing on “Fox News Sunday.” The Senator suggested that same-sex couples might be satisfied if marriage were removed from the tax code all together, thus there would be no benefits for traditional marriage. Paul also stated that he feels marriage equality is a matter for states to decide rather than the federal government.
Alex Pareene takes a novel view of the anti-gay marriage argument in Salon. Pareene suggests that if those arguing against the legalization of gay marriage are to suggest that child rearing is the primary reason for marriage, the more effective response is to ban divorce.
