By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Nov 7, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
 Each year about this time my daughter and I take a father-daughter trip.
And this year is no exception.
We started with a bitterly cold weekend at Camp Piamingo for our first father -daughter weekend about 8 years ago. It was called Indian Summer, I think and was designed for dads and daughters. We gave oursleves the nicknames Papa Bear and Baby Bear and brought board games like Hooskerdu andCandyland. We slept on the floor of a cabin in below freezing tempretures as I kept an eye on a large spider that was either lazy, dead or frozen into the woodwork a few feet away.
The next year we went to Chicago to the American Girl Store and to see the Cheetah Girls in concert. Except I mistakenly bought Cheetah Girl tickets to a concert 2 hours from our hotel and didnt have a car. Maggie, my 9 year old and very wise daughter shrugged and suggested we just go to dinner, adding “This is supposed to be about bonding with each other anyway. Not about concerts.”
She just gets more awesome each year. And I look forward to bonding and seeing what she teaches me.
 This weekend we decided to repeat last year’s NY weekend instead of repeating the original Camp Piamingo weekend.
And this year Momma Bear will be joining us.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Nov 6, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET I watched the hubbub over the weekend and KY US Senator Rand Paul borrowing some lines from Wikipedia to use in a speech where he references the movie plot of Gattaca Well, for what it’s worth, if I had somehow found myself in a situation where I had to give an important speech and reference the movie Gattaca, I think I would simply have looked it up on Wikipedia for the plot summary–just like Sen Paul— instead of watching the movie for myself and having to come up with my own personal commentary about it.
I remember when the movie Gattaca came out in 1997 and was in the local theaters. At the time I had several opportunities to see it with my wife and chose instead Good Will Hunting, Titanic, As Good as it Gets, and even Lost World instead. And, yes, if you really press me to be completely forthright and transparent about this issue, I saw Nicholas Cage’s Face Off that year instead of Gattaca too. That was probably a mistake in retrospect.
But the point is I had many opportunities to see Gattaca in the theatres and never did. Later when it was on video, I rented (well….there are too many movie titles to list. Just know there were several hundred rental movies I chose to rent since 1997 instead of Gattaca, too) Later when it was available on cable, Gattaca got beat out by several hundred other movies I chose to watch instead.
Yes, I really love movies. But not enough to have ever watched Gattaca. Even though it did get an 82% on Rotten Tomatoes….. I can’t really explain it why it had no appeal to me. Maybe I’m just not much of a sci-fi guy.
Plus, Ethan Hawke, Jude Law, Uma Thurman and Gore Vidal?? I just didn’t see how the chemisy would work.
And, finally, just the word Gattaca made my stomach turn and head ache wondering what it could be about that I wasn’t interested in. Finally, it is apparently mostly an anti-abortion political diatribe and those get a little wearisome to me whether I agree or not.
And for the final test–the test that proved beyond doubt—I understand and support Sen Rand Paul’s choice for going the Wiki route on this movie instead of watching it for myself? Even after all the brouhaha about the speech and movie over the weekend, I still have no desire to see Gattaca. I haven’t even read the Wikipedia article about it. Or even the few sections Sen Paul used.
And, frankly, don’t think I ever will. I’ll take Sen Paul’s word for it about the movie and what it says on Wikipedia about it (and back him up on not laboriously sitting through the whole tedious sci-fi flick).
I think I’ll just watch either Goodwill Hunting or As Good as it Gets again. Maybe both…if I don’t have to use either of them in a speech.
By Lauren Mayer, on Wed Nov 6, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET Every generation seems to experience a couple of epic historic moments that define them – we have ‘The Greatest Generation’ with their memories of World War Two, former ‘flower children’ who remember The Summer of Love (or at least did some indiscriminate making-out that year), and so on. I’m on the younger side of Baby Boomers – I was 10 in 1969, so the only real hippie experience I had was embroidering flowers on my bellbottom jeans and writing earnest but dreadful poetry with lines like “the earth was meant for love, not pollution.”
Usually these landmark moments are pretty serious, even tragic, like assassinations or weather-related disasters. And occasionally, they can be celebrations of the human spirit, like the first moonwalk, the falling of the Berlin Wall, or the record number of babies born 9 months after major power outages. But only rarely do we find a transformational, epic moment that has nothing sad about it, nothing triumphant, but just pure fun – in fact, up until recently, the only examples I could think of were pop culture silliness, like pet rocks, the Macarena, or Gangnam Style.
However, due to a calendar quirk, this month will be the first time since 1888 that Chanukah and Thanksgiving have overlapped. And it won’t happen again for over 77,000 years. (Which is how long I know many people hope it will be until the Macarena comes back.) So naturally, people are jumping on it as an opportunity to celebrate, to develop fun hybrid recipies (sweet potato latkes with melted marshmallows . . . don’t think about it too much), and of course to find the marketing angle. Someone has already trademarked “Thanksgivukkah,” and you can buy Thanksgivukkah-themed cards, t-shirts, and even a ‘menurkey’ (a menorah in the shape of a turkey).
Even though this would seem to be a completely apolitical moment of joy, in today’s bitter partisan climate I must admit I was expecting some pushback from the far right who keep insisting that our founding fathers meant for this to be a Christian nation, so I thought they’d be horrified that a holiday celebrating American history would be combined with a non-Christian observance. But so far the only objection has come from comedian Stephen Colbert (who complained that the war on Christmas is now going after Thanksgiving). So we can celebrate without reservation!
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Nov 5, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Sometimes I think it would be nice to take a vacation— not “to” any place but “from” myself.
Not sure how it works or what the lodging arrangements would look like but would kinda be a nice break to get away from myself for a week — or just a long weekend.
I think a little distance from myself could be good now.
I feel I am getting too enmeshed with myself and showing signs of copendency-…-I have this compulsion to have to know what I am doing and a compulsion to “fix” me. I need to learn to let go and not care what I think about myself.
A self-vacation may be just what I need.
Been a long, long time since I have been able to do that. Can’t even remember last time.
Wonder if there are any Groupons for a vacation like this?
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Nov 4, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET  Favorite family Halloween story ever.
When my son Johnny was 3 he dressed up like Batman. He was dressed in full character and kept the mask on at all times–and although only 3 he was a very friendly and talkative child already.
We stopped by Blockbuster before Trick-or-Treating and there were two teenagers, too cool for Halloween (or life), who glanced at us and gave us a scoffing, dismissive look—as if to say “A father and son on Halloween. How lame.”
They had piercings all over, tattoos and Goth attire. Even though I was in my mid 30s, rebellious teens intimidated me so I nudged Johnny away from them.
When I wasn’t looking, Johnny slipped away from me and when I heard him he was making conversation with the two uber-cool teens.
“Hey you guys!” He said cheerfully. “I’m Batman.” No response…just a look of disgust from the teens.
Then Johnny added, “So who are you guys dressed up as?”
It was a total smack down by a 3 year old to two teens. They were speechless and humiliated with how silly they looked. They tucked tail and slinked out of the door.
I’ve always felt safe when I was with Johnny since then.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Nov 1, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET The Stages of Development for Halloween:
1) Scared. (Ages 1-7) Halloween musters up images of ghosts and goblins, witches and werewolves; ghost stories, horror movies and creepy images dominate our understanding of Halloween.
2) Candy (Ages 8-12) The frightening images promoted by Halloween are displaced by the more practical desire to acquire and ingest candy.
3) Fun (Ages 13-24) Halloween becomes an excuse to party with our peers. Candy and Fear are no longer primary ways of understanding Halloween and are replaced with opportunities for interacting with the opposite sex, dancing, being fabulous and related behaviors.
4) Parenting–(Ages 25–49) Halloween becomes a wholesome family activity for parents and children to spend time together decorating the house, carving pumpkins, Trick-or-Treating, sipping hot apple cider and eating candy.
5) Partial Alienation (Ages 50-59) These are the years where you don’t have anything to do with Halloween except buy candy for Trick-or-Treaters whom you grow to resent bc you have other things you’d rather do on Halloween Night but don’t want your home TP’ed or egged.
6) Partial Re-Integration (Ages 60-74) Grandparents are often given one or more nominal roles for some sort of Halloween activities with the grandchildren. Usually a glorified form of babysitting for parents still stuck in Stage 3 (Fun) as their way of relating to Halloween.
7) Full Alienation and Full Re-Integration (Ages 75 — ) Although you no longer actively participate in any Halloween activities (e.g. decorating house and providing candy to Trick or Treaters), you have become a person about whom children hear scary stories in their neighborhood (Stage 1). Terms like Witch, Ghosts, Haunted House, Razor Blades, and other Halloween related story telling subjects get associated with you as your primary connection to Halloween.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Nov 1, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET A moment of self-reflection.
You know the ones that make you think about where you are in your life and if you are good enough.
We all have them.
Just now I am parked in Staples parking lot waiting for store to open. I’m in my maroon Honda Accord, empty sacks of Chik-fil-A on floor. I am 50 years old wearing khaki pants with spin dried button down striped shirt and wavy disheveled hair.
While waiting, I have laptop open and posting on Facebook about my dog going to the bathroom in my office this morning.
Then a shiny jet black regal looking car drives up beside me. It is a BMW and seems to clear it’s throat so I will notice. The driver is also about 50 and is wearing pin stripe dark suit and heavily starched white dress shirt with striped tie with a tie clip. His hair is combed back immaculately in perfect rows standing at attention proudly with just the right amount of product. Thin frame bifocals and a serious stern look as he looks straight ahead waiting for Staples to open.
I hope he looks over at me and reflects for a few moments and asks himself, “How did I get to be such a loser?”
I doubt he even has a Facebook account.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Oct 30, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Point, Counterpoint: a deep philosophical debate with Rene Descartes (dead) and John Brown (not dead but bored and wasting time on a frivolous post.)
Mr. Descartes will go first:
“I think, therefore, I am”
–Rene Descartes
John Brown on rebuttal:
“Sure. That sounds really smart at first, but come on. Really? I mean….it doesnt even stand to reason. For example, some people think too much. That doesnt mean they exist too much, right?
Other people only think sometimes. We don’t say they only exist sometimes.
Do we? I don’t.
And some people dont think at all, but still exist and continue to show up at family reunions. I know this for a fact. I was one of them for about 18 months in the early1980’s and still got invited to and attended a family reunion.
Maybe a better formulation could be, “I got invited to attend my family reunion, therefore, I am.” But then what about those living in cultures that don’t celebrate family reunions or families where the family member who usually hosts the family reunions has had it and finally says “I am not doing this anymore. I am sick of all you ungrateful jerks. Let someone else have it at their house next time.” This happens. A lot. What about them? They still exist, right.
Maybe Descartes would have made his point more validly by saying, “I sometimes try to sound like a know-it-all by saying things that sound really profound even though they really aren’t, therefore I am irritating and get on people’s nerves.”
If Descartes had gone with this formulation, I doubt anyone would have challenged him and we wouldn’t even be having this debate right now.
And I didn’t even have to think too hard to completely disprove Descartes’ theory. And that is pretty cool– whether or not I can prove I exist.
By Lauren Mayer, on Wed Oct 30, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET It’s always astounding when two closely related things turn out to be complete opposites. Like siblings who have totally different body types, books with matching bindings but one is Jane Austen and the other is Judith Krantz, or the time my father took his first bite into an avocado slice, not knowing what it was but assuming it was some sort of cucumber.
This same-but-opposite premise has been the basis of numerous stories, from The Prince & The Pauper to Hannah Montana, but perhaps the best-known example was the classic Patty Duke Show, where the teen actress played identical cousins with vastly different backgrounds and tastes. (Yes, I know, there is no such thing as “identical cousins” and we all know it was Patty playing both roles, although if you’ve read her autobiography you know her real name was Anna, her managers manipulated her and she felt like a manufactured product, so she was playing an actress playing 2 different cousins, which is a meta-meta-façade.) (Sort of like the irony of Debbie Reynold’s role in Singin’ In The Rain, where her character was dubbing the Lena Lamont’s lines in the movie but the producers thought Reynolds sounded too cutesy so they had her lines dubbed by Jean Hagen, the actress playing Lena Lamont . . . but I digress . . . )
Anyway, The Patty Duke Show’s iconic theme song has come to symbolize any zany combination of opposites, or at least it has to those of us old enough to remember the show. (My husband is several years younger than I am, so when I mentioned the song to him, he thought I was referring to “Sisters, Sisters” from White Christmas.) (My husband also had to be informed that Paul McCartney, of whom he is a huge fan, actually played in a successful band before Wings . . . . ) So I thought it would be an appropriate way to sum up the vastly different-yet-similar viewpoints in Washington D. C. (Spoiler alert – I’m not referring to the Democrats vs. the Republicans . . .)
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Oct 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET The impotance of planning and execution.
About 19 1/2 months ago on a Sunday afternoon I thought to myself, “It would be a good idea to clean out my clothes closet later today.”
I have thought about that a lot every Sunday since then.
And today I executed my plan flawlessly in under 40 minutes.
19 1/2 months later.
Which led me to create an important formula for business and personal planning.
Planning + Execution = Results ÷ 19 1/2
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The Recovering Politician Bookstore
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Each year about this time my daughter and I take a father-daughter trip.
