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John Y. Brown, III: Fashionista

By John Y. Brown III, on Sun Jun 22, 2014 at 11:47 AM ET

10349093_10203569767500792_4199352038085169907_n

 

 

Rebecca and I were honored to be participating last night in the Kosair Charities Fashion Show.

Great cause.

Great people.

Great fun.

 

Some highlights:

Two things about me: 1) I have never modeled before. 2) Love the movie Little Miss Sunshine. So when the pressure was on to "work it," well.....let's just say I remembered the grand finale scene from Little Miss Sunshine and knew exactly what to do

Two things about me:
1) I have never modeled before.
2) Love the movie Little Miss Sunshine.
So when the pressure was on to “work it,” well…..let’s just say I remembered the grand finale scene from Little Miss Sunshine and knew exactly what to do

And, yes, as you can see at this moment I was really feeling it and went for the "Double finger gun" model move.

And, yes, as you can see at this moment I was really feeling it and went for the “Double finger gun” model move.

 
John Y. Brown, III   , , ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Dirt Devils and Magic Dusters

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jun 20, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

10421184_10154303462260515_6780446856741738233_nThe upside of Dirt Devil shopping.

It shouldn’t be this hard to buy a Dirt Devil to vacuum out blueberry muffin crumbs in my car floorboard.

I have tried Office Depot, Stienmart, Best Buy, Staples, and a couple of others and empty handed.

It was very frustrating.

But just a few minutes ago I took a Dirt Devil shopping break at Heine Bros and got a Rooibee Red Tea and am listening to the Black Crowes.

And now I really don’t mind at all that finding a Dirt Devil is so difficult. In fact, as I am listening to the live version of Can’t You Hear Me Knocking, I’m actually glad it is so difficult because it led me here.

So if you have been shopping all afternoon for a Dirt Devil and are frustrated, hang in there. It does get better when you eventually end up at Heine Bros. You won’t find a Dirt Devil, but you do get to enjoy a Rooibee Red Tea and get to listen to the Black Crowes.

And as you head home, you’ll probably decide it’s easier to just stop eating blueberry muffins. At least in your car.

And think to yourself, “It’s all good.”

===

Dirt Devils have apparently been replaced by Magic Dusters. 

The name “Magic Duster” sounds better and is slightly less occultish sounding for a household clearning device than “Dirt Devil.” 

But they really aren’t all that magical, if you ask me. Of course, your threshold for defining “magical” may be lower than mine–but I’m not seeing it.

jyb_musingsPut it this way, it’s not as magical as something that is battery operated. Or more to the point, the Magic Duster is less magical, powerwise, than blueberry muffin crumbs.

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: 51 and rhyming

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jun 19, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
jyb_musingsI may be 51
But I’m nowhere near done
Just kickin’ it Old School
Revving up for my next run
I got nothing to lose
And I got nothing to prove
Done paid up all of my dues
And rock these comfortable shoes
Fighting gravity and time
As I’m bustin’ my rhymes
Got no awareness of shame
And still got slow motion game
Don’t write me off yet
‘Cause I’m just turning it on
Even crankin’ up the volume
Since my hearing’s half gone
Don’t push me out
‘Cause I’m still “all in”
And still got it going on
If I’m in bed by ten
So remember these words
And take them to heart
Young Guns and Young Turks
Show respect for us Old Farts
As you reflect on my rhymes
You’ll find no hate in my rap
Just tryin’ to hang on
Between power naps
This game’s nowhere near over
Young pups stay out of our way
Old dogs may not know new tricks
But we still call the plays
Young haters can hate
And plan to take up our space
Just know you’ll be leasing from us
And we still set the rates
 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   , , ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: American Idol

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jun 18, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

10353579_10154263975915515_4282905237645892781_nSuper Proud Dad!!

Maggie made the cut to go to the Producer’s round at Disney’s American Idol.

And then she made the semi-finals round

And then Maggie won the semi-finals in front of an audience of several hundred –and was one of five to make it to the finals.

And performed in the finals that evening –just having turned 16 (too young to compete for American Idol) and about half the average age of the other four competitors.

Just incredible…and got reviewed by the judges as “Taylor Swift like” and ” a music producer and marketer’s dream” 

===

Like daughter like father

jyb_musingsThat was the thought today when Maggie persuaded me this morning to try out for Disney’s American Idol–after her great success making it all the way to the finals.

I was alone in a small room with an affable Disney female judge and with my daughter Maggie sitting in the corner grinning with anticipation. 

Judge: Can I get your name and is this your daughter?

Me: John Brown and, yes, this is my daughter Maggie and she made the finals at Disney’s American Idol yesterday. (Hoping to score a few points for myself with this fact.)

Judge (to Maggie): Oh my goodness! Congratulations!! I see up to 50 contestants a day and send maybe 1 to the producer who decides if that person goes to semi finals. You must be very proud, Dad.

Me: Yes, very proud for sure!

Judge: Tell me about your singing.

Me: (looking confused)

Judge: Where do you sing? Are you trained?

Me: Oh. No training. Just sing in the shower. Sometimes.

Judge: Ok. Well…great. Go right ahead.

Me: (Fumbling with phone to read lyrics and starting off with voice quavering. I sing 30 seconds of James Taylor and know I bombed except for 2-3 seconds where I really nailed it.)

Judge: Wow. That was nice. Really nice (Saying it the way someone would who says that exact same thing about 49 times a day would say it.)

Me: (Smiling stupidly and thinking to myself if she focuses on only the 2-3 seconds I nailed it and nothing else, I might get to next round….but knowing that isn’t happening)

Judge: If you could get some training in voice and practice singing and really commit to it, etc, etc.

Me: (Before she drops the “Congratulations for trying” bomb, I interupt) That is great and I really appreciate it but I need to let you know that for the finals competition (I look at my daughter), I am really busy this afternoon and can’t make it then. But I can do the finals competition later this afternoon or early evening –but it would have to be after 5pm. Sorry. But I have some.work commitments I really need to….

Judge: (Most awkward smile I have seen in a long time) Ok, Mr Brown. Let me explain how this process works.

Me: (interrupting) I am just kidding. I know I didn’t make it.

Judge: Phew! OK. Wow! You had me worried there for a minute.

Me: Yeah. No need to tell me how close I was. I think the key was I needed a Valium. Then my voice wouldn’t have quavered.

Judge (laughs) Well…

Me: And if I had brought an extra Valium for you, too, I think I could have made it to the next round.

Judge: You are funny. If you develop your voice, you would be really good with the audience. (Then she wrapped it up like she does about 49 times a day so feelings don’t get hurt– and, mostly, to avoid losing contestants snapping and having a total melt down.)

I didn’t have a meltdown and my feelings weren’t hurt either. I shook the judge’s hand and left. I was disappointed I didn’t make the cut but glad I tried — and really glad I wouldn’t have to come up with several hundred Valium for the audience if I had made it to the next round.

And besides, my daughter rocked the finals competiton two nights before.

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   , , ,  

Lauren Mayer: The Sky Is Falling! No, Really! No, I Mean It This Time!

By Lauren Mayer, on Wed Jun 18, 2014 at 8:30 AM ET

Over-reaction is becoming so common on the political scene these days, things have to go pretty far before they qualify as genuinely surprising over-reaction. But the furor over last week’s primary defeat of Eric Cantor definitely qualifies.

To put it in perspective, Cantor lost by 36,000 votes, which is about 5% of his voting-eligible constituents, which is about .002% of the 150 million eligible voters in the country. But that didn’t stop pundits from gasping in shock and declaring that this was a political game-changer, with miscalculation like “Dewey Defeats Truman” combined with “Real Housewives”-style national fascination. (Not to mention the fun of seeing Cantor’s opponent, an economics professor who advocates something called “Christian Capitalism,” unable to answer basic questions about the minimum wage . . . but I digress.)

This one low-turnout race has apparently led to everything from a resurgence of the Tea Party to the end of any hope for immigration reform to the realization that Democrats should just give up on 2014 unless turnout is boosted by major hurricanes in November that have female names (which apparently are viewed as less scary, so people don’t evacuate as quickly). Hello, people – it’s only one tiny district!

On the other hand, there is a Through-The-Looking-Glass surreal quality about one of the most obstructionist right-wing Majority Leaders in history losing a primary for being too liberal. So who knows, maybe the over-reactors are on to something . . .

 
Lauren Mayer   , , ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Thoughts of the Day

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jun 17, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

jyb_musingsThought for the day…(Footwear mindfulness)

Today I refuse to give in to the temptation to wear white socks with casual shoes –while wearing shorts–no matter how comfortable the footwear combination may seem to me. I will be deliberate and steadfast in my commitment –even into late afternoon while just walking around the house.

===

This moment is not one you ever plan for or think could ever happen to you.

If you were given a lie detector test a week earlier where you are asked if you will ever wear white socks and casual shoes you would swear it will never happen and would pass the test with flying colors.

10456464_10154269488675515_6387223089949654545_nAnd then one week later, when you are just minding your own business, you look down and see this.

It just happens.

This doesn’t mean you are a liar.

It doesn’t mean you are old.

It just means you have passed through a “shame threshold” that only others who can be seen dressing like this can fully appreciate and understand.

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: The mind of a child vs the mind of an adult

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jun 16, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

jyb_musingsThe mind of a child vs the mind of an adult. (Or how Sirius radio works)

A child’s view of the world is very different from how we view the world as an adult. When we are young we are naive and innocent. But as adults we are experienced and wise.

When I was 7 and 8 years old and being driven to Wilder Elementary School we would listen to WAKY radio. I had become a music fan and –though I loved the music—was mostly amazed by how I imagined, logistically, radio pop stations made it all work.

I believed that bands would come from all over the country to go into the WAKY studio and play one song and then leave and make room for the next band. Sometimes twice in one day if they had a popular song.

I figured commercials allowed the next band time to set up but suspected even with that extra time if must really be tough moving in and out the musical equipment for different bands all day every day just so each could play a single song.

Today I am an adult and am experimenting with Sirius radio. On Sirius, I can listen to whatever kind of musical bands I am in the mood for on the radio. And no commercials.

My adult mind is mature enough to figure out that since there are no commercials there is no way each band’s equipment gets moved in and out of the radio studio. My mature and experienced mind knows that the Sirius radio stations must already have all the possible instruments on hand for each band to use. And that’s how they manage to play music all day without commercials.

But as wise and knowing as I am today at 51, I don’t understand why AM and FM stations competing with Sirius haven’t figured this out and are doing it too.

Of course, some radio stations gave up altogether and just hire people to talk all day long about news. All these stations have to do is buy a whole bunch of musical instruments and they could have great bands in the studio playing top 40 hits all day everyday instead. Why this isn’t happening–even with my adult mind– is totally baffling me.

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   , ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Thoughts of the Day

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jun 13, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

jyb_musingsIf you think about it there are a lot more “Thoughts for the day” offered than “Actions for the day.” 

Probably because thoughts are easier than actions.

And you probably think I am going to propose an “Action for the day.” But I am not. I am just going to let this observation count as my “Thought for the day” –and not rock the boat.

===

When did teenaged kids get so together?

At high school graduation awards ceremony and some of these kids have already accomplished more than most the parents in the audience. 

And look like it! All the male award recipients look like they carry business cards and one looked like he had to leave the office this morning to pick up his academic award.

I remember when I was in high school the administration was just hoping we could all sit still long enough to get through the graduation ceremony successfully.

My biggest disappointment today is that I forgot to bring my business cards to give out. Not to parents. But to the students!

===

My new theory about aging.

As I close in on my 51st birthday (or 2 score years and 11, as I am calling it), I am theorizing that as humans age into the second half of life, we don’t progess from “young” to “old,” but rather develop from mammals into some form of reptile. 

In other words, we don’t get “old,” just “lizardy” and “turtle-like.”

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Love and Marriage

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jun 12, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET

jybderby_1How well do I know my wife?

After being together 27 years and married almost 23 years, pretty darned well.

In fact, I can tell 10 times out of 9 when she is upset with me but doesn’t want to say anything. And I gently pester her to finally tell me what is wrong and we work it out.

That’s right, 10 times out of 9.

That means 1 out of 10 times when I think Rebecca is upset with me, she really isn’t. But I keep trying to get her to admit that she really is upset with me–even though she isn’t– until I irritate her to the point that she really is upset with me.

Which means I really know when Rebecca is upset with me but doesn’t want to say anything 10 out of 10 times– including times when Rebecca doesn’t even know she is upset with me but is about to be.

I think that’s pretty impressive.

It just takes time. And an observant and irritating husband.

jyb_musingsConversely, Rebecca realizes I am upset with her only about 5 times out of 10.

When I am upset with Rebecca and she isn’t aware of it, I subtly hint that I am upset with her by telling her outright what it is that is upsetting me. Then we are both upset with each other.

That means 5 out of the 10 times when I am upset with Rebecca, she gets upset with me too. Which means we get to do something together. But frankly, it’s not as fun as it might sound.

And the 5 times out of 10 that Rebecca does realize I am upset with her, she says nothing –which I know is her way of saying, “Don’t. Don’t do it. Because remember….it is better when just one of us is irritated with the other than when both of us are irritated with the other at the same time.”

And I know Rebecca is right.

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   ,  

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Is Walmart Empowering?

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jun 11, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
jyb_musingsI am at Walmart right now to buy an assortment of toiletries.

But on my way to the “Personal Care” aisle, I passed the “Automotive” section.

And I looked at the rows of sturdy tires and wanted to buy one–just a single tire at 12:41am.

Why? Because I could.

Maybe that is empowering.

But I have a feeling it’s just a really bad idea that sleepy people get when not expecting to see tires for sale when shopping past their bedtime.

 
John Y. Brown, III, Musings from the Middle   ,  
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