Favorite story on workaholism.

About 20 years ago I bought a daily mediation book on keeping balance in your life if you have a tendency to lose yourself in your work and fail in other important areas in your life.

It didn’t help me as much as I’d hoped but here is the one reading

I think of often and chuckle to myself.

“Every night Johnny’s dad would come home with an overstuffed briefcase–papers falling out and scattering and dad scurrying to keep everything together to work on later that night. And each night the son would watch knowing it meant less time with his dad who would be working into the evening.

One night, though, Johnny had an idea.

When is frantic dad walked in the door, arms drooping from papers and binders, Johnny offered, “Dad, I’ve been watching you work so hard every night after work trying to just keep up. And I’m really proud of you. But dad, it may be time for you to be put in the “slow group” at work.”

What does it mean to grow up?

When my son was four years old we were up late one night looking for something to do.

He grabbed a chess set and asked, “Want to play!?”

Taken aback by his enthusiasm, I said I did but admitted I really didn’t know how and he’d have to teach me.

He said it was easy and to sit down and he’s show me.

He divided the pieces and set them up in a way I didn’t recognize. I was waiting to be amazed that my 4 year old already knew how to play chess.

His first instruction was a shocker, though. He said what we do is slide the pieces across the board and try to “knock each others pieces down—like in bowling.”

I loved it! “Alright!” I said. “I think I’m gonna like this chess stuff.”

We played for about 30 minutes firing pieces back and forth. He added a few new rules (clarifications, really) along the way that ensured he would “win.” Which was cool.I wanted him to.

I was just thrilled to finally learn how to play chess. It always looked complicated and slow. But turns out it really isn’t. At least to a 4 year old.

A few years later my son taught me how grown ups play chess. It’s OK but, as I suspected, complicated and slow. I like the way 4 year olds play better. Not everything about being a grown up is all it’s cracked up to be.

Eureka!!

On Atlanta Concourse train and finally figured out a major conundrum about men and women and talking.

Recent studies show that contrary to conventional wisdom women do NOT talk more than men.

Then why do we assume they do?

I’m watching the men and women around me talking and the answer is clear. Women are into to it more. A lot more!! They are really engaged and talking like it’s a fun activity in and of itself.

On a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest) women feel about an 8 when talking (the equivalent of sunbathing).

For men, talking rates about a 2.5 (the equivalent of relieving themselves in the airport men’s room. Necessary but no external enjoyment apart from functionality).

In fact, one woman close to me on the Concourse appears to be saying a lot of words purely for the enjoyment factor alone. There is no other logical reason for her to be saying so many words in a row out loud except the intrinsic enjoyment. And her female friend and daughter are enjoying it too….what researchers call the “multiplier effect.”

So, woman don’t talk more than men….they just seem to because they get so much more out of it!! The are going at it with gusto and joy and men are treating talking like a learning disability they never overcame.

So, ladies and gents, when you are home tonight in bed talking to your spouse….remember, your wife is figuratively slathering on sun tan lotion all over herself and feeling like she’s on vacation.

And husbands are the metaphorical equivalent of being in line in the airport men’s room trying to patiently concentrate and get through this exercise with as little effort and mess as possible.