Musings from the Middle

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Bad Ass Toothbrushes

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Apr 25, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

Some guys are into souped up, pimped out cars. Others are into collecting sophisticated or rare guns. Me? I’m into bad a** tooth brushes.

I just picket up a new tooth brush with—get this (forgive me for geeking out)

Sonic technology, slimmer than Sonicare Essence. It creates Sonic vibrations and a dynamic bristle cleaning action that removes more plaque than a regular manual toothbrushes.

Two Brushing Modes and two Oral-B replacement heads (Pulsonic and Precision Tip) meet my unique teeth cleaning needs. And will leave me with a radiant smile.

I asked the store clerk if this was essentially the AK-47 of toothbrushes. She wasn’t sure what I was talking about. But I clarified that I didn’t want to hear about another –even more powerful toothbrush being available—if I bought this. She assured me that would not happen.

I asked her if any of the toothbrushes were Taser-capable.

She again acted confused.

But I think she was secretly very impressed and was merely trying to conceal it.

If I pull up to a Ferrari I’ll look over as if to say to the driver “Nice car” while holding up my toothbrush for the driver to see and reciprocate with a look back of “Nice toothbrush.”

Can’t wait to get home and brush tonight!

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Our Deepest Fear

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Apr 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

I heard the most inspirational and insightful quotation the other day and have been trying to recall it specifically. It’s called “Our Deepest Fear” and goes something like this.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate or will fail.

We may fail, we may be inadequate, or even a loser.

But that’s not the important point. Not by a long shot.

Something else–another point that is eluding me at the moment–is an even more important point. And it’s very inspirational too.

Oh yeah, it says we’ll succeed even if we fail.

Why?

Because to simply believe in yourself is …. while not technically “success” per se…. it is something we can all do that is positive and makes success more likely over time.

We should do this daily. And if we want to tell others, that’s probably OK too. But tell ourselves for sure. In the mirror each morning.

Most of all don’t fear failure because….it’s just wrong to. It’s wrong. Don’t even think about it. OK?

It’s not even important to know why you shouldn’t fear failure. Just know that you shouldn’t –and I remember that part of the message in the quote very clearly.

(If you have to know, email me and I’ll try to find out the answer. But for now please just go with it. This is the best I can do and I’m on sort of a roll now…and I do remember the last part verbatim.”

Main point: Don’t fail–or fear failure –because you are really afraid of success. That’s the absolute worst. Just terrible. Don’t do it.

And one last thing: The capacity we have for fearing failure because of fearing success even more—which is really true for a lot of people. really. I’m serious. Well, that fear is a powerful force beyond all measure.

I mean we have the ability to overcome that fear because of a powerful force beyond all measure. That’s inside of us or something.

OK, I didn’t remember the last part verbatim.

But you get the general idea, right?

Isn’t it great? Just what I needed this morning. And if you’ve read this far, probably what you needed too.

Don’t thank me. Just “pay it forward.” Share this with a friend. That’s thanks enough for me.

Look out world. Here I–no, here we— come!

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Break On Through

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Apr 23, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

Leave trail of bread crumbs

I used to love the message of this song as a young man. It seemed inspired.

I thought I even tried admirably to break on through to the other side. But after awhile I quit trying. And even forgot I ever tried.

Then one day I woke up on the “other side” and have no idea how I got there. It just happened. And now all I want to do is get back to where I started from.

Even if I have to break through something to get there. But I don’t know how to get back.

And Jim Morrison isn’t around to tell us how “get back to the other side.”

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Honesty & “Marco Polo”

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Apr 20, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

Want to know how honest you really are?

Do you pride yourself as being someone who would never cheat?

Someone who when a game is being played doesn’t blur the rules in order to do better?

And tell yourself you would never make an exception?

And are proud of the example you’ve set for your children in this area?

Me, too.

But last night I backslid. I made that exception and did cheat and tried to conceal it.

I was playing Marco Polo in the pool last night with my daughter and her friend. And squinted to see where they were (several times) after going over 5 minutes as “IT” and hearing non-stop giggling and scraping my elbow and later knee on the side of the pool.

I have no regrets about how I handled this and am calling this the “Marco Polo Exception.”

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Motivation

By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Apr 19, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

When we are afraid, we should ask ourselves whether it is a fear of failing— or a fear of something very different.

Sometimes we get lovingly nudged—or abruptly pushed— past our fear of success.

We may not realize it at the time, but in retrospect, that’s what is happening.

A famous inspirational quote captures this well:

The leader said to his people….“Come to the edge…..”

The people responded…..“We can’t. We’re afraid.”

The leader said….“Come to the edge.”

But again the people said…..“We can’t. We will fall!”

…….“Come to the edge.”

….And they came.

And he pushed them…..

…..And they flew.

~Guillaume Apollinaire

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Late Night Informercials

By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Apr 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

10 hard facts about late night infomercials (Brace yourself):

1) No book, program or technology will “transform your life” in 14 days. Or even 30 days.

2) Operators are always “standing by” –even if they act like it’s only for a few more minutes.

3) Remember, you don’t really want to be like Anthony

Robbins. Just look like him. But he’s not telling you how to do that.

4) Ronco knives work well but you never use them as much as you think you will.

5) If you are over 40 what it takes to get “Six pack abs” isn’t worth all the effort required.

6) The 1-900 Psychic lines where a stranger predicts your future, is a pretty good deal. They are right about 50% of the time with predictions that you will have something good or bad happen in the near future.

7) It’s hard to “re-gift” products purchased through Infomercials because people know that’s where they came from.

8) There’s nothing you need at 2:30am that you couldn’t get by without at 1am. You are just tireder and more vulnerable to persuasion.

9) I have never heard any male brag that they grew a new head of hair after purchasing a late night infomercial spray.

10) Nothing changes until you are ready and willing to change.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Impenetrable Packaging

By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Apr 17, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

Impenetrable Packaging: There’s got to be a better way.

A few years back the “He Man” serving was all the marketing rage. Restaurants would offer up 20% more food than people could eat and charge 40% more and get away with it because of the “perceived value.”

Today the problem is with packages that cannot be opened by mere mortals. If you are a bodybuilder or keep a chain saw in your car, no need to keep reading. This doesn’t apply to you.

For the rest of us, though, I don’t get this need of putting items we purchase in packages we can’t open.

Is it to create a “perceived value add” bc we have to work so hard to open our new product that we are supposed to feel even more excited than we would have been to start using it?

It can’t be to prevent store theft. If so, only easily lifted store items would be encased in a impenetrable packaging –not everything in retail stores.

Yesterday, after wrestling for nearly 10 minutes with an ear bud package, I finally successfully tore it open. I looked around to see if others were watching. I felt like Arthur successfully withdrawing the embedded Excalibur sword from the giant stone.

I felt I should be knighted or at least applauded.

And I didn’t feel a “value add.”

I did feel several abrasions on my hands and fingers. Which I hope I’m not being charged extra for. And I didn’t bother trying to buy band-aids. That would be another battle to open that package.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Middle Aged Bodies

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

Leaving Starbucks –which was packed with middle-aged patrons like me.

Couldn’t help wonder if ages 45-49 is when we Americans transform body types from the angular to more of a spherical body shape.

UPDATE: Just leaving Starbucks and couldn’t help but notice how trim and fit everyone was.

I used to think (about an hour ago) that ages 45-49 may be when we Americans developed softer body types.

After reflection and discussiion, I now realize I was mistaken.

Turns out it was just me projecting and rationalizing as I wolfed down an apple fritter. ; )

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

John Y. Brown, III: Happy Tax Day!

By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Apr 16, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET

Tax Day and silver linings.

When I found out about tax extensions I had the same ecstatic feeling as when I was a college freshman and found out I could withdraw from a class I was struggling in.

Sure it just puts off the inevitable –and with a penalty.

But much like dropping a college class, it sure can do wonders for my attitude today.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Celebrity Look-alikes

By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Apr 13, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET

Celebrity look alike?

Who are the celebrities you think you look most like? And which one do you really look most like?

Oh, I know. You’ve never thought about this because you aren’t that shallow. Baloney. Don’t worry, I haven’t either.

And that’s baloney too.

I’ll go first.

Being associated with a celebrity based on appearance must have some instinctive pull on us. Maybe it gives us a sense of validation that we are somehow important (or have the potential to be) bc we look like someone who is considered important and successful.

When I was a boy I had blondish curly hair. And lots of it.

The first celebrity I was told I looked like was Shirley Temple. A little girl. This displeased and distressed me to the point I took a pair of scissors and cut my own hair. It would be the last time I’d do anything like that again before the Flowbee was introduced some 25 years later.

The Shirley Temple comments ended around ages 6 or 7. And a new celebrity comparison began. Jody –from Family Affair (as in Buffy and Jody), i.e. Johnny Whitaker. Jody was a quantum leap better than Shirley….And best of all he was a male! But if I could have chosen any celebrity in Hollywood, he would have been my first choice.

So I tried to improve on it. When I was 15 the movie Blue Lagoon came out. Two good looking teens, Christopher Atkins and Brooke Shields are stranded on a deserted island and forced to fall in love. Atkins had curly hair and was my age. I floated a the idea to several people that someone had suggested I looked like him. (The person who suggested I looked like him was me–and I suggest it to me.) Suffice it to say the idea never caught on.

No one –other than me–ever thought I looked like Christopher Atkins. Ever. Not even a little.

Chastened, a lowered my standards. I floated the idea a few years later around age 17 that someone (again me) told me I looked like Tommy from the sitcom Eight is Enough.

It didn’t catch on either. Mostly because no one I told could understand why I would want to look like Tommy –of all the celebrities out there.

That’s when I gave up on trying to find a celeb look alike to bolster my self -esteem. At least for the next 30 years.

I may float a rumor later this week that I look like a mature Jonah Hill (after the weight loss). It’s not that I want to look like Jonah Hill. It’s mostly my last ditch resistance before making peace with the fact that the only celeb I’ve ever seriously been told I look like is Johnny Whitaker (Jody).

Like so much in life, it’s not what I was hoping for. But could have been a lot worse. I need to simply accept this and be grateful it’s not Shirley Temple.