C’mon people. Enough already with these outdated homophobic attitudes.
If one man compliments another man on his physical appearance (e.g. “You look really trim. Have you lost weight?” or “That suit looks fabulous on you and really makes your eyes pop”), it doesn’t mean he is gay.
It simply means that if he were gay, he would probably be really into the guy he is complementing.
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=== I have observed that people who cherish their opinions over their friendships tend to have many more of the former than the latter. === I’ve just been informed that my smartphone has “data leakage.”
It shouldn’t be this hard to buy a Dirt Devil to vacuum out blueberry muffin crumbs in my car floorboard. I have tried Office Depot, Stienmart, Best Buy, Staples, and a couple of others and empty handed. It was very frustrating. But just a few minutes ago I took a Dirt Devil shopping break at Heine Bros and got a Rooibee Red Tea and am listening to the Black Crowes. And now I really don’t mind at all that finding a Dirt Devil is so difficult. In fact, as I am listening to the live version of Can’t You Hear Me Knocking, I’m actually glad it is so difficult because it led me here. So if you have been shopping all afternoon for a Dirt Devil and are frustrated, hang in there. It does get better when you eventually end up at Heine Bros. You won’t find a Dirt Devil, but you do get to enjoy a Rooibee Red Tea and get to listen to the Black Crowes. And as you head home, you’ll probably decide it’s easier to just stop eating blueberry muffins. At least in your car. And think to yourself, “It’s all good.” === Dirt Devils have apparently been replaced by Magic Dusters. The name “Magic Duster” sounds better and is slightly less occultish sounding for a household clearning device than “Dirt Devil.”
I may be 51But I’m nowhere near done
Just kickin’ it Old School
Revving up for my next run
I got nothing to lose
And I got nothing to prove
Done paid up all of my dues
And rock these comfortable shoes
Fighting gravity and time
As I’m bustin’ my rhymes
Got no awareness of shame
And still got slow motion game
Don’t write me off yet
‘Cause I’m just turning it on
Even crankin’ up the volume
Since my hearing’s half gone
Don’t push me out
‘Cause I’m still “all in”
And still got it going on
If I’m in bed by ten
So remember these words
And take them to heart
Young Guns and Young Turks
Show respect for us Old Farts
As you reflect on my rhymes
You’ll find no hate in my rap
Just tryin’ to hang on
Between power naps
This game’s nowhere near over
Young pups stay out of our way
Old dogs may not know new tricks
But we still call the plays
Young haters can hate
And plan to take up our space
Just know you’ll be leasing from us
And we still set the rates
Maggie made the cut to go to the Producer’s round at Disney’s American Idol. And then she made the semi-finals round And performed in the finals that evening –just having turned 16 (too young to compete for American Idol) and about half the average age of the other four competitors. Just incredible…and got reviewed by the judges as “Taylor Swift like” and ” a music producer and marketer’s dream” === Like daughter like father Judge (to Maggie): Oh my goodness! Congratulations!! I see up to 50 contestants a day and send maybe 1 to the producer who decides if that person goes to semi finals. You must be very proud, Dad. Me: Yes, very proud for sure! Judge: Tell me about your singing. Me: (looking confused) Judge: Where do you sing? Are you trained? Me: Oh. No training. Just sing in the shower. Sometimes. Judge: Ok. Well…great. Go right ahead. Me: (Fumbling with phone to read lyrics and starting off with voice quavering. I sing 30 seconds of James Taylor and know I bombed except for 2-3 seconds where I really nailed it.) Judge: Wow. That was nice. Really nice (Saying it the way someone would who says that exact same thing about 49 times a day would say it.) Me: (Smiling stupidly and thinking to myself if she focuses on only the 2-3 seconds I nailed it and nothing else, I might get to next round….but knowing that isn’t happening) Judge: If you could get some training in voice and practice singing and really commit to it, etc, etc. Me: (Before she drops the “Congratulations for trying” bomb, I interupt) That is great and I really appreciate it but I need to let you know that for the finals competition (I look at my daughter), I am really busy this afternoon and can’t make it then. But I can do the finals competition later this afternoon or early evening –but it would have to be after 5pm. Sorry. But I have some.work commitments I really need to…. Judge: (Most awkward smile I have seen in a long time) Ok, Mr Brown. Let me explain how this process works. Me: (interrupting) I am just kidding. I know I didn’t make it. Judge: Phew! OK. Wow! You had me worried there for a minute. Me: Yeah. No need to tell me how close I was. I think the key was I needed a Valium. Then my voice wouldn’t have quavered. Judge (laughs) Well… Me: And if I had brought an extra Valium for you, too, I think I could have made it to the next round. Judge: You are funny. If you develop your voice, you would be really good with the audience. (Then she wrapped it up like she does about 49 times a day so feelings don’t get hurt– and, mostly, to avoid losing contestants snapping and having a total melt down.) I didn’t have a meltdown and my feelings weren’t hurt either. I shook the judge’s hand and left. I was disappointed I didn’t make the cut but glad I tried — and really glad I wouldn’t have to come up with several hundred Valium for the audience if I had made it to the next round. And besides, my daughter rocked the finals competiton two nights before.
=== This moment is not one you ever plan for or think could ever happen to you.
It just happens. This doesn’t mean you are a liar. It doesn’t mean you are old. It just means you have passed through a “shame threshold” that only others who can be seen dressing like this can fully appreciate and understand.
I believed that bands would come from all over the country to go into the WAKY studio and play one song and then leave and make room for the next band. Sometimes twice in one day if they had a popular song. I figured commercials allowed the next band time to set up but suspected even with that extra time if must really be tough moving in and out the musical equipment for different bands all day every day just so each could play a single song. Today I am an adult and am experimenting with Sirius radio. On Sirius, I can listen to whatever kind of musical bands I am in the mood for on the radio. And no commercials. My adult mind is mature enough to figure out that since there are no commercials there is no way each band’s equipment gets moved in and out of the radio studio. My mature and experienced mind knows that the Sirius radio stations must already have all the possible instruments on hand for each band to use. And that’s how they manage to play music all day without commercials. But as wise and knowing as I am today at 51, I don’t understand why AM and FM stations competing with Sirius haven’t figured this out and are doing it too. Of course, some radio stations gave up altogether and just hire people to talk all day long about news. All these stations have to do is buy a whole bunch of musical instruments and they could have great bands in the studio playing top 40 hits all day everyday instead. Why this isn’t happening–even with my adult mind– is totally baffling me.
=== When did teenaged kids get so together? === My new theory about aging.
After being together 27 years and married almost 23 years, pretty darned well. In fact, I can tell 10 times out of 9 when she is upset with me but doesn’t want to say anything. And I gently pester her to finally tell me what is wrong and we work it out. That’s right, 10 times out of 9. That means 1 out of 10 times when I think Rebecca is upset with me, she really isn’t. But I keep trying to get her to admit that she really is upset with me–even though she isn’t– until I irritate her to the point that she really is upset with me. Which means I really know when Rebecca is upset with me but doesn’t want to say anything 10 out of 10 times– including times when Rebecca doesn’t even know she is upset with me but is about to be. I think that’s pretty impressive. It just takes time. And an observant and irritating husband.
And the 5 times out of 10 that Rebecca does realize I am upset with her, she says nothing –which I know is her way of saying, “Don’t. Don’t do it. Because remember….it is better when just one of us is irritated with the other than when both of us are irritated with the other at the same time.” And I know Rebecca is right. I am at Walmart right now to buy an assortment of toiletries.
But on my way to the “Personal Care” aisle, I passed the “Automotive” section. And I looked at the rows of sturdy tires and wanted to buy one–just a single tire at 12:41am. Why? Because I could. But I have a feeling it’s just a really bad idea that sleepy people get when not expecting to see tires for sale when shopping past their bedtime. |
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