I am as surprised as you. But it really is me.
Seriously. It is.
What? Don’t believe me?
The water in the background? Oh, that’s, um, that’s the Ohio River. I go to a gym in front of the Ohio River.
The tattoo? Oh, easy. That’s a washable I put on just joking around this morning…that’s all that is.
The bracelet? It….It…is a family heirloom, or something, I just wear sometimes and happened to put it on today before heading to the gym.That’s all.
The necklace? Um….That…the necklace. I wear that to work out in….for, um, just because it is important to for reasons that are hard to explain precisely to people who don’t work out a lot.
But, yeah, that is definitely me….
Um, OK, Ok. Fine!
Maybe not entirely me—just yet.
I mean, not me, really, per se.
Um, OK. I’m lying.
You happy now!?
It’s some picture I got off the internet.
But could be a picture of me in the future.
Maybe in another lifetime, if nothing else.
Say what you want to about my light and low-stress exercise routine, but at least I am steroid free.
Exciting Diet Conversations.
Friend: “Well, John, what are you doing right now?”
Me: “Just sitting here, patiently, doing nothing, waiting to lose more weight… ”
This is me after making a healthy order at Vietnam Kitchen (great restaurant, by the way).
I am not happy. And making my order begrudgingly. But it is working.
Down 9 llbs in 3 weeks.
Score after 3 weeks:
John Brown: 6 6 7
Apple Fritters: 1 1 0
Game. Set. Match.
Lost 10 lbs
A side benefit of successfully staying on a diet:
No longer viewing a haircut, clipping my nails or shaving as activities that will reduce my weight.
I have been informed facetiously by a friend that there is bodybuilding competition for men ages 50-59.
I let my friend know that I believed I could put together a compelling posing routine –but the muscle mass, body tone, muscular definition, vascularity and ripped abs parts just weren’t there for me and never would be.
After it gives me my weight, it calculates my BMI category –“Fat”
Lovely way to start the day. At least it doesn’t say or shout “Fat!” out loud or make sarcastic remarks to me or sigh with disgust.
On the positive side, if I can lose another pound and a half, I move from the BMI category of “Fat” to just being “Overweight.”
Take that! You dreadful, silently mocking scales!
Now that I have thinned down from “Fat” to bordering on merely “Overweight” according to the BMI chart, my taste in music has changed.
I find that now I can only listen to bands with really skinny lead singers like Chris Robinson of Black Crowes or Mick Jagger and all of the Rolling Stones.
I guess we skinny and soon-to-be-merely-“Overweight” guys just need to stick together.