By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET  I recently read this book. It’s titled The Maie Brain. And is a science-based based, well researched book on the inner workings of the male brain.
I’m a guy so, you know, I was hoping to find out some pretty encouraging stuff about the we guys think.
But it was more like a personality test you take in the back of a magazine that tells you, after spending 45 minutes finishing it, that you really aren’t very interesting after all.
Except with this book, you can’t go back and change your answers to make yourself more interesting.
 Actually, the image that kept coming to me as I approached the last few chapters will date me.
It was Geraldo Rivera’s infamous opening on live TV of Al Capone’s secret vault. The event was hyped for weeks. And all Geraldo found when opened was a stop sign and two lunch pales.
At least Geraldo didn’t write a book about it.
By Jonathan Miller, on Mon Sep 24, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET 
A few weeks ago, I received an interesting assignment from my hometown newspaper, the Lexington Herald-Leader: For a special section that would highlight what was especially special about Central Kentucky — “Go Big Bluegrass” — I was asked to prepare an essay on the state’s rich political history…in 400 words or less.
Here’s an excerpt from my piece:
Despite its modest size and a location that’s remote from the centers of power, Kentucky has exercised considerable political influence since nearly the beginning of the republic.
Much of our early prominence stemmed from Lexingtonian Henry Clay, arguably the most influential politician of the early 19th century. Though he’d famously “rather be right than be president” — and proved it by losing several presidential bids — Clay occupied many other important national offices, from speaker of the House to secretary of state.
Most significantly, “The Great Compromiser’s” scrupulous and diligent statesmanship helped delay civil war for several decades. Clay’s greatest triumph, however, may have been in inspiring into public service the very rail-splitter who led us through that bloody conflict.
While Abraham Lincoln spent his formative years in Illinois, his iconic log cabin birthplace is in Hodgenville; he married into a prominent Lexington family; and as president, he clearly recognized the strategic value of his home state: “I hope to have God on my side, but I must have Kentucky,” he said.
Click here to read the full piece.
And then let me know how I did: Whom did unfairly omit? How did I err, exaggerate or evade?
And best of all — if you can do it better, leave your 400 word attempt in the comments section below. Or send me an email to Staff@TheRecoveringPolitician.com.
By Jason Atkinson, on Fri Sep 21, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET  Today we go public: Why the Klamath Matters
I want to share the story of an historic water-sharing agreement which will restore salmon, clean water and – most importantly – peace and prosperity, to one of the most beautiful regions in America.
The Klamath River has been a passion of mine, for my entire life.
Here in western America, where farmers are pitted against fish, states’ rights are bogged in years of lawsuits, native tribes struggle for existence and fish issues are considered partisan, the Klamath River story is unique…because for the first time a win/win, human and ecosystem solution, in the form of a historic water-sharing agreement is what’s at stake.
Recently a remarkable pact has been signed, calling for the largest dam removal project in the world, a path forward to end one of the most bitter resource struggles in our history. Years of negotiations between federal officials, tribes, irrigators, power corporations and conservation groups will lead to restoration that supports and enhances fishing, farming, and ranching…the backbone of Klamath’s economy and the heart of the Klamath Basin.
As a 4th generation steelheader raised on the middle river in California, the waters of the once-wild Klamath feed my dreams and sustain my soul. My grandparents – Grandma, a Reagan hating liberal, and Big Tom, an Eisenhower Republican – gave me the mantel to restore this river.
Now I’m turning to you to help make restoration of the Klamath a reality. Together, we will bring the story to the big screen, inspiring others to follow our path forward towards a world in balance.
Here’s an introductory video:
Our plan is simple: raise 10% of our budget from our friends grassroots style, start shooting this fall, show our grassroots support to our first funder (yet to be landed, a lot of interested groups) to get thefirst $150k in, then our second funder (already ready for $80-100K) and then our finish funder (real solid interest from friends in philanthropy), then distribute nationally, (Nat Geo, PBS, History- lots of interest here) then change the world of conservation. Today we launch, and you can help in three ways:
1. Go to our site, and make a contribution of any size.
2. Send the link to anyone you know and help generate buzz.
3. If you can it would greatly help if: you have suggestions, can make introductions, or other thoughts regarding the above plan.
Read the rest of…
Jason Atkinson: Why the Klamath Matters
By Jonathan Miller, on Thu Sep 20, 2012 at 11:00 AM ET While his father, contributing RP Jeff Smith, has run his final electoral battle, Charlie Smith is a leading candidate for the Gerber Generation Photo Search 2012.
And Charlie deserves the honor — he has his mom’s good looks, and is already taller than his dad.
So please click here to vote for Charlie. And vote often! (Seriously, you can vote once a day).
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Sep 18, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET  The new year is always a time for resolutions and self reflection. Since it’s the Jewish New Year (and I’m Jewish), I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Of course, being married to a therapist, and having had years of therapy myself, I tend to do that year‘round. So, even if you’re not Jewish, I would encourage you to join me. Extra self reflection never killed the cat. I don’t even think curiosity did. Curiosity is a beautiful thing, and cats have 9 lives regardless.
So I invented a way of helping myself when I am trying to reach a goal. I ask “Future Me”what I should do. For example, one of my goals for this year is around my business. In my mind’s eye, Matchmaker Café is about to be large and in charge. (I apologize that my mind’s eye talks like a ‘90s rapper sometimes.) But how I can garner the traction and the capital to get there is a big ordeal. So when I feel overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do next, or when I am trying to make a hiring decision or a partnering decision, what do I do? I ask Future Me.
I just discovered this trick and the amazing thing is that she always knows! And she’s so calm- how the hell does she do that? (Hold on, I’ll ask…….. Ok, she says it’s because she’s satisfied.) Occasionally she says “Too soon to tell” or “Wait and see,” kind of like the Magic 8-Ball. Sometimes she says “You’ll know in 5 years.” I hate that one! But most of the time she knows the answer, almost immediately.
I tried this out with a client of mine yesterday, as a reality check, just in case I was hearing voices, ya know? You never know. I also wanted to see how it would work for someone who is single and looking for the One. In this case, Future You=Married You. It worked like a charm. Questions that would usually perplex her yielded answers instantaneously. I was pleasantly surprised. (especially to discover that I have not had a psychotic break- phew!)
So I would recommend you try it. Word of warning- just as with Willy Wonka and his crazy gum, this philosophy is untested and may go awry by dessert. Especially if you are more like Veruca Salt than Charlie. You have to be very self-explored in order to truly connect with Future You. Be wary of giving yourself the answer you want to hear. There’s a fine line between the purpose of this exercise and being delusional. Having a guide such as a therapist or a coach can always help. (I happen to know of 2 of those right in my apartment—just in case you’re looking. 😉 )
Read the rest of…
Nancy Slotnick: Future You Is Your New Guru
By Nancy Slotnick, on Mon Sep 17, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET I love my job. I get to help people find love. But better than that. I get to help them enjoy it after they’ve found it. As a dating coach, people hire me (primarily successful smart attractive single women) to help them when they are ready to find the One. I don’t find it for them. (That would be too easy, right?) I don’t actually believe that it works that way. Matchmakers who promise that they can find love for you if you pay them thousands of dollars are often flim-flamming you.
That being said, I do have a matchmaking site on Facebook. It’s called Matchmaker Café. We don’t charge thousands of dollars- just the same amount as what online dating sites charge. And we set up the date for you- ‘cuz that’s the hardest part! But I digress.
True love finds you. You just have to be open to it. That’s what I call “turning your Cablight on.” But that’s not the real trick of love. (It’s not supposed to be about turning tricks, either.) The trick is to be happy once you find it. I have a lot of clients who think that once they find the “One” that they should fire me. And they may be right, of course. There’s a reason that Recovering Dater sounds like I’m part of a 12 step Program (more than a writer of a blog.) That’s because once you find love, you shouldn’t be interested in dating anymore! And you certainly shouldn’t need a dating coach.
However, even once you find that [almost] perfect person, you have a choice of being hopelessly miserable with each other or hopelessly romantic. Or everything in between.
The beginning stages of dating are like precedents in the law. Once certain patterns are set, there’s no going back. And you will always refer back to that pattern. It’s like when a river dries up but there is still the path. Pour a big rainstorm back in and that water goes in the same direction that it always did for years. Enough metaphors for you? Sorry about that- here’s a real world example.
One of the hardest jobs I’ve ever done in my life was teaching Hebrew school when I was in college. It’s hard enough to be a teacher and control the classroom. But then try controlling a classroom of kids who have been in school for 8 hours that day already! $12 per hour was a lot of money in those days- it had to be. So, in the event that you have been a teacher then you will know what I mean about this- the very first day is your only shot for establishing order and discipline. The students can get to know you and like you later. But if you are “soft” on the first day, you’re done for the year. By the next year you have learned, but it’s a new class by then.
Read the rest of…
Nancy Slotnick: Hot for Teacher
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Sep 10, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET Why I am a Democrat.
Heading home from the Democratic National Convention I had a few minutes to kill and decided to type out why I think I’m a Democrat.
Part of it, of course, is inherited—in two senses. Your family’s politics, like your family’s business and religion, tend to have a long shelf life for future generations. It’s easier to go along than buck the family. There’s also a temperamental inheritance. Both major political parties, I believe, attract certain disposition types —characteristics that we largely inherit genetically. No, not a desire for lower taxes or building strong infrastructure—at least not directly. But an inclination to be trusting or skeptical; hopeful or protective. Or just not caring if one side of our jacket collar is flipped up.
Then there are the cultural and temporal factors that help determine our politics. More people who came of age in the 1930s became Democrats. More who came of age in the 1980s became Republicans.
But these are not the interesting or singular characteristics that cause a person like me, after all the more conventional factors are set aside, still to walk toward the democratic team when choosing sides. I think that’s a more deeply personal matter that we don’t take enough time honestly to understand.
Oh, and for the record, I don’t buy all this nonsense about Republicans and Democrats not being able to get along. If that were true, Republicans and Democrats would stop getting married to each other so frequently! Like married couples, we need each other. Each side has strengths and weaknesses and is better together than alone. But also like married couples, a little more understanding of each other (and a good counselor) can go a long way. I mean seriously, if Democrats could do a better job of “mirroring” what we believe we hear Republicans say; and if Republicans could do a better job using “I-statements,” we would be well on our way to a more functional polity. Or at least a fun weekend together. Which is why I am writing about why I am a Democrat. Like most people, it’s not really about ideology. I believe ideology is a byproduct of more core personal qualities and traits we possess. And it’s easier to accept differences if we understand these differences are more fundamental to who we are and impermeable— rather than merely malleable ideas that, like a fly, we seem merely to have randomly alighted on. And so with that intro, here goes.
For me, I am a Democrat because I am a “tinkerer”, a “wobbler,” and a “blender.” And on most days, these are positive traits, at least in my mind. And they are at my core.
Read the rest of…
John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Why I Am a Democrat
By Jonathan Miller, on Wed Sep 5, 2012 at 1:30 PM ET The following piece, which appeared this weekend in the Harlan Daily, details the important work being done to battle the horrific problem of drug dependency in Appalachia by Pastor Kyle Burnette, father of The RP’s extraordinary Webmaster, Justin Burnette:
Photo courtesy of HarlanDaily.com
Taking steps to help others in his community has been a lifetime goal of Harlan resident Kyle Burnette. Pastoring since the age of 19, Burnette, now 58 years of age, is taking classes to obtain his master’s degree in psychology, with an emphasis on chemical dependency, to enable him to help those in need throughout Harlan County.
“A year ago, I decided to go back to school at Union College, in Barbourville,” said Burnette. “I was visiting there one day and I heard them talking about a course on drug dependency counseling. It sounded interesting to me and I thought I want to do that. I got to looking at drug abuse in our county and problems that are running rampant and I couldn’t help but ask myself the question, ‘why are these folks doing this?’ Folks just don’t wake up one day and say I think I’ll ruin my life with drugs today. So, I enrolled in that class simply with the intention of taking the chemical dependency certification class and be done with it. I got interested in this and decided to complete my master’s degree in psychology. This has opened a whole new realm for me, allowing me to possibly even do counseling, particularly in drug dependency.”
As a community-minded person, Burnette offers this insight to others in regard to those who are drug dependent, “Be very careful about judging what you think that person should be. Look at them for who they are and ultimately, as a pastor, who God wants them to be. Try to understand, as best you can, because you can’t always understand, what got those who are drug dependant to that point and try to find a way to help them get beyond that point. With the drug situation in our county, I daresay there’s not a family in our county that hasn’t been touched by this in someway. It may not be directly but might be indirectly. If we spent less time judging one another and more time helping one another, I think we could accomplish a lot more. This is something I am very passionate about. I’ve never been one to judge someone else — don’t want to be a judge. I just want to help someone who needs to be helped.”
Pastor of both Harlan and Baxter United Methodist Church, Burnette said in the Methodist tradition pastors are members of circuits, which allows pastors to travel and be responsible for more than one church. He is also an advertising consultant for WHLN Radio in Harlan. He is a member of the Harlan Lions Club and serves as a member on the Christian Outreach for Appalachian People (COAP) board.
Burnette graduated from Murray State, having been raised in Lee County, Va. He met and married his wife Shelia, who was a Middlesboro native, and they moved to Harlan County approximately 26 years ago. They have three sons and five grandchildren. They are also expecting their sixth grandchild very soon.
Click here to read more.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 4, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET The importance of grandfathers—on Labor Day.
The most important thing my very wise and learned paternal grandfather ever told me was when I was 20 years old. We were having a philosophical discuasion about the ends never justifying the means being illustrated in a criminal law case he was involved with –and I took a personal turn with my next question.
“Papaw, how old was dad when you realized he was going to be really successful?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t out of time yet myself.
There was an uncharacteriatic pause and I looked at my grandfather’s winced face. It was the first time I had ever stumped him. Or at least the first time one of my questions had left him temporarily speechless. Recovering, he said in a stern tone raising one eyebrow, “Well, to tell you the truth, I never thought your dad would amount to much of anything.” And as he realized that even though my father was now 51 was helping support both of us, he couldn’t remember ever amending that opinion, he broke into a broad smile and a hearty laugh.
That’s it. The most important thing grandfathers usually pass down to grandchildren is the truth about their parents.
The wisest thing my maternal grandfather ever said to me.
I was in my final year of law school and into my late 20s. My grandfather Durall, who possibly had the finest mind of any of my family members, had to drop out of school at age 14 to go to work in the coal mines–for $2 a day pay.
We were about to sit down to chat and his first question to me was, “Reckon you are going to stay in college until you can draw Social Security?” he asked, chuckling to himself. It made me laugh hard–and was probably the harshest thing I ever recall my grandfather Durall saying to me.
The reason I thought of that conversation this morning is that whatever I can think or say about Labor Day, I’ll never quite be able to give the term “work” the kind of meaning that he did. Of all my family members, none worked harder, endured more, and received less than my grandfather Durall. And he almost never missed a day of work or took a vacation time. Or complained. It was just his way. He honored the term “labor” in a way his grandchildren can salute but will never replicate.
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Sep 4, 2012 at 8:30 AM ET “He makes me laugh.” – Ann Romney, Republican National Convention.
She said it at least three times I think, so it must mean a lot to Ann Romney, but in my opinion the quality “he makes me laugh” is overrated. I tried it on for size with regard to the Presidential Race—“He’s such a great President; he always makes me laugh.” Something just didn’t sound right.
But then I am mainly interested in love and relationships, being that I am a Recovering Dater, so I applied the same litmus test there. Al Bundy makes me laugh; Peter Griffin on the Family Guy makes me laugh; but would I want to be married to them?
If you go onto any online dating site and look at profiles, you will see “sense of humor” on top of most women’s wish list. Don’t get me wrong- I love to laugh with my husband- that’s one of the best experiences in the world. And giggling—so much the more so. But just because someone makes you laugh, can you tell anything about his character?
 Comedians can be very angry people; they can be loners. The straight man (in the comedic sense, not the sexual orientation sense), on the other hand, can often prove to be more “stand-up” than the funny man, when it comes to love. Or at the very least the correlation between funny and good husband is inconclusive. So we must look for some other clues when we attempt to assess character.
Judging someone’s character when you first meet is a monumental task, yet an important skill in dating. In my coaching practice, I advise women to read his actions, not his words. In other words, if he says, “I’ll call you,” that is words. (often lies.) If he actually calls, that speaks volumes.
So in advance of meeting, when you are trying to scope someone out from afar, how can you get a reading?
1. Eyes are the window to the soul. If you believe in a soulmate, then start looking into the eyes of strangers and find out what you see. It’s not staring, but reading their eyes. I dare you to do it.
2. Watch him while he’s talking to his friends. You can tell a lot by how he interacts with others.
3. Listen to what he’s talking about and see if it sounds intelligent. Ok, I grant you that this may be hard to do if you are scoping him out in a sports bar setting. This is why I recommend trying to have 1 date/week. Some things you can only find out from going more in-depth.
4. Finally, look for his smile. That Aretha Franklin song says “It’s in his kiss- that’s where it is.” That is true too. But we’re talking about in advance of kissing. Then, it’s in his smile. Even if you just observe him smiling at his friends, or laughing with them, you can glean a lot. And if you dare to smile at a stranger, you may get to find out a lot about him and his character.
So it may not be all about him making you laugh, but rather seeing when he laughs, and what it’s about. If he has a winning smile, he’s a keeper. And I’m not just talking about Obama. Oh wait, maybe I am.
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