By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Mar 29, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
I’m so relieved that society does not judge us on our thoughts but only on our actions.
I’d hate to be accountable for my thoughts. They aren’t dangerous. Just, well, hard to explain away.
For example, I was eating lunch alone in my car today–a turkey sandwich. Out of nowhere I start thinking about how I’m really glad that animals can’t talk. And I hope we never teach them to.
For one thing, what would we talk about? It’s hard enough making conversation with other humans. Besides, no matter how good we get at small talk with animals, we can only avoid the inevitable “Big Question” for so long.
Eventually a turkey (or some other animal) will ask, “So, why do you eat us?”
And the truth is I don’t have a good answer. All I can say is something along the lines of the primitive logic, “Look, I’m bigger than you and smarter than you and you taste good. That’s it. End of story. Let’s please talk about a less awkward subject.”
Just typing this response makes me cringe–and reinforces to me this is a conversation I’d like to avoid.
And besides, what other subject could we move on to after that uncomfortable segue? It’s just not realistic.
But even without an eloquent explanation, I’m not giving up turkey.
Well, my lunch time ran out on this thought. I’m on a business call now and sounding very professional –using lingo from my MBA and law degree. Very impressive. I’m on my game.
And I’ve almost completely stopped thinking about conversing with turkeys.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Mar 27, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
How do you know the parent-child relationship has changed?
Forever?
Think of those sweet conversations. Explaining the mysteries of where God lives; of how TV marketing works; reading Catcher in the Rye and smiling knowingly together at the bad words; chatting up sports and politics –as you, the parent, realize he’s closing in on you.
And then one day, there’s a small crack in the universe, and your role as big “P” parent to the little “c” child is whisked away.
For me it was a conversation in our kitchen yesterday.
Child: “So Dad, have you gone through a mid-life crisis yet?”
Parent: “Well…ummm. Well. I guess. I think I have.”
Child: “Think? Uh, it usually happens in your early 40s and your 48”
Parent: “Yeah. No…I uh…I have. Yes. I was in my ….probably late 30s. I was precocious (Laugh)”
Child: “Do you know why you went through a mid-life crisis?”
Parent: “Yeah. I mean…not really. I mean I do from a spiritual standpoint. I mean…look, when you get to mid-life it’s depressing. You either haven’t achieved your dreams so you are depressed. Or you have achieved them and they haven’t brought you the happiness you expected, so you are depressed. And so, you know, you recalibrate your goals and values for the second half of life.”
Child: “No, that’s not why. That’s an interesting explanation but the real reason is menopause.”
Parent: “Male menopause?”
Child: “No! Female menopause. There is a high correlation between when wives go through menopause and when men go through mid-life crisis. You are good with psychological theories but that’s the scientific explanation.”
Parent: “Well, but I had mine and mom hasn’t…I mean. What is menopause anyway? Exactly? I mean, I know …sort of but….the exact, precise, scientific definition of menopause?”
Our readers, the RP Nation, had a lot to say about this controversy — we’ve received dozens of emails and comments. We list some of the better responses below:
Jonathan, you claim to be bi-partisan politically, but come near (but just this side of civil) to speak with a hint of animosity about the University of Louisville. WATCH IT!!!!! I’VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU.
Love, M.A, Louisville, KY
As a Saturday Night Live fan, I like Michelle Bachman or a comeback by Sarah, who should have a lot to say about reproductive health.
C.U., Hartford, CT
I agree with Portman who can swing Ohio. Yes, Rubio brings Florida and more of the Hispanic vote. I love Huckabee, but Arkansas is tiny and he is old news. Portman can legitimately run on a balanced budget platform, more so than anyone else.
S.C., Miami, FL
How about Kentucky’s head basketball coach, John Calipari?
B.M., New York, NY
Nope, it is Rubio.
T.W., Indianapolis, IN
I will be traveling on business through Wednesday morning, March 28th, with only limited access to email. If you need help immediately, please contact [Name omitted]. I look forward to being in touch as soon as possible.
D.H., Washington, DC
Read the rest of... The RPs Debate the 2012 GOP VP — The RP Nation Weighs In
First choice for Mitt Romney’s VP should be the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man in the World.”
This move would balance out the ticket.
If he is unavailable for VP…I would suggest Mitt’s people try to schedule a weekend trip with him pronto.
After this, I believe Romney should pick a woman as his VP. If he does do this, I wouldn’t be surprised whatsoever if President Obama makes a call to Hillary.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Mar 26, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Featured below is perhaps the funniest outtakes video I’ve seen.
Along with a “Viewer’s Warning” I’d like to see:
Warning: (The unedited version). There is inappropriate language and suggestive themes. Not recommended for viewers under age 17 or over age 56.
There are a few between the ages of 17 and 56 who will pretend to be offended if they watch. But they will actually find the video very funny and will be the most likely to watch it multiple times. Isn’t it always like that? The reason for their feigned shock is probably because the character played by Will Ferrell reminds them of a family member, perhaps an uncle they have tried to forget.
They really need to get over it. Their uncle isn’t really a bad man. Just confused and misguided. He’s actually doing the best he can and does have some redeeming qualities and can be fun to be around (albeit in short spurts) if these people would stop judging him so harshly and try to get to know him a little better. But don’t hold your breath for that to ever happen.
Anyway, if you are between 17 and 56, you’ll probably enjoy this video. If you are one of those who don’t enjoy it and find it offensive, please keep it to yourself and don’t ruin it for the rest of us. Thank you.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Mar 22, 2012 at 12:00 PM ET
Modern parents are often criticized for being too soft on their kids–with both advice and expectations.
Today I wrote and sent a letter to my son for his senior retreat. It was supposed to be full of wisdom and fond memories we have had together. And, I suppose, I took an admirable stab at both.
However, I keep chuckling about how telling my letter was.
The first paragraph was a long apology for sending him out into a rainy campground without electricity or running water for several days.
Followed by a second paragraph which apologized repeatedly for not having any new wisdom that I’d saved up just for this occasion– and that I was basically just recycling old wisdom and advice he’d already heard from me dozens of times.
Which makes me wonder if he’ll even bother getting to the third paragraph.
Which I forgot to apologize for and may catch him completely off guard.
I’m so relieved that society does not judge us on our thoughts but only on our actions.
