A rebuttal on the Chick-Fil-A broohaha from John Y.s’ old friend, Colonel Harland Sanders:
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Not anymore. Chick-fil-A has finally articulated what most suspected. They want to dominate market share of the heterosexual chicken eating population by coming out against gay-marriage. No surprises here. I mean, c’mon. “Chick” is in the name.  “I’ve loved Chik-fil-A from the first time I tried it. That’s got to count for something.” I’ll be watching next month for the new Chick-fil-A “Hetero Combo” featuring a masculine looking sandwich with two chicken breasts and straight looking garnishments. This creates a frenzy among the remaining fast food chicken chains to see who will try to appeal to the gay friendly chicken eating population. Apparently rumors that Popeye’s is considering moving their headquarters to Fire Island, NY and that KFC is introducing the “Judy Garland Over the Rainbow” sandwich are false. However it does appear that Dairy Queen is working on playing both sides with the “Big Butch Chicken Basket”
Just went to truck stop to fill up. I notice when I’m inside a truck stop I try to act a little more manly. I stand up taller, scowl a little, and try to look like I know how to chew tobacco and operate a two way radio. And never, ever buy a bottled Starbucks latte. And I even believe I may fool some people. But today I walked into restroom and caught a glimpse of myself wearing a pressed button-down shirt, khaki slacks and dress shoes with tassels. I’m not sure I’m really fooling anyone after all. I can either try harder to fit in or just accept I never will and just be myself. And buy the Starbucks latte. Bobby Jindal uncovers secret liberal plot to mandate tofu. Who leaked it??? [ABC News]
When I was 7 my Uncle Lorn told me that it bad for my neck and back to sleep with a pillow. 41 years later I still refuse to sleep with a pillow. When I was 8 years old a friend of the family told me he liked to eat peanuts whole –shell and all. I wanted to impress him. 40 years later I still eat peanuts with the shell. So, I did at least two things today because a 7 year old and an 8 year old decided it was a good idea at the time. And I’ve never taken the time to question either–from the perspective of an informed adult. Which leads to the next (and scarier) question: What else did I do this week bc my 7 or 10 or 12 year old self made a lifelong decision for me many years ago?
No, not abs that I have now….or abs I’m comitting to have in the future.. I am at a point in my life where I will likely never talk about abs in the present or future tense ever again. The best I can do is mention abs as an occurence in the past—something that existed years ago and, for a period of time, I was proud of. A reflection. A reminescence of something positive t can still recall and remind people about–form once upon a time, A sweet memory. And one more thing. What was it? Oh yeah! “Brains”  “Wassup esse, Juan Brown?”I’ve wondered what it would feel like to hear that sentence said to me by one of my friends, assuming he was a Hispanic tough guy who was from the streets of East LA.
And I admit, there’s a good chance I’ll never hear it since I don’t live in East LA.
But I can be dangerous. I really can be.
Not like Ving Rhames “going medieval” dangerous….but dangerous in my own way…. I don’t carry a gun or anything like that, for example. But I do keep pepper spray in my glove compartment that my mother bought me years ago. And I still have it. And could conceivably use it under the right circumstances.
We all have a dark side–and a breaking point— that could cause us to break the law to make a point because it was the right thing to do and it was up to us to do it.
That’s right, Friendo.
A personal example came up today when I was pushed to the limits of exasperation and decided to take the law into my own hands. I was at a convenience station filing up my car with unleaded and went inside to get my usual, a small coffee with lots of cream and sugar and a cinnamon roll. I took my place in line behind a large and tough looking man who seemed a lot hungrier and frankly more dangerous than me. So there were two of us. Together. The woman with the cashier was asking for directions and buying lottery tickets. And was taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r (a really, really long time) to complete her purchase.
My friend in front of me looked at me twice and rolled his eyes in frustration. He was confused and frustrated. But I wasn’t. I knew what to do. I waited until the lady at the cash register caught my eye and I slowly raised the cinnamon roll to my mouth and took a small bite of it. Before I had paid for it! Sending the message, “We’re in a hurry back here and we’re not fooling around.”
And then I took a second bite. She wasn’t looking the second time. I just had been surprised at how fresh and delicious the cinnamon roll was the first bite. But I wasn’t finished toying with her yet. We continued to wait and this time I lifted my cup and took a slow pull off my small coffee as if to say, “I have about ….umm….I’m…please hurry. Please. I’m…I really hate lines.”
Another minute past and the sales lady looked at me once more, and I went a place I didn’t think I was capable. I took a large symbolic bite that left less than half the cinnamon roll.
And I didn’t flinch.
I was feeling that any second I might hear the words, “Wassup esse, Juan Brown.”
But instead the sales clerk smiled at someone behind me and I turned to see who. It was two police officers sitting at a table drinking coffee. I swallowed hard. I had really gone too far this time and was going to have to apologize once it was my turn to pay. “One small coffee and a cinnamon roll” I cheerfully chirped. “Haha….the cinnamon roll started off a lot bigger. I’m sorry. I was so hungry”
She never even looked me in the eye. I nodded as I walked by the police officers and breathed a sigh of relief nothing more happened. And I even threw away my pepper spray once I got to my car.
This morning I was set to have coffee with a friend at 8am but he was running behind. Finally, at 8:15 I emailed him and told him I was going to go ahead and start the conversation without him and when he arrived he could jump in and pick up wherever we were at that time. Fortunately, he showed up about 3 minutes later. The conversation was off to a sluggish start by myself and seemed to jump from irrelevant topic to irrelevant topic. Fortunately, we ended up having a great conversation. Which just shows a conversation with 2 is much better than a conversation alone.  Good morning, and welcome to another edition of Prix Fixe Politics! Apologies for my absence, but May was a long month of work outside the political realm. I can’t say that disappointed me, but you can only stay away for so long (I’m on my way to catch a flight to Wisconsin for tomorrow’s gubernatorial maelstrom). On the eve of the second most important election of 2012, here’s today’s menu…Appetizer: We are less than 100 days away from the Republican and Democratic conventions in Tampa and Charlotte, respectively. They are the Super Bowl, March Mardness, and World Series of politics, but they only happen every four years. So, maybe they’re more like the Olympics or the World Cup, but with fewer viewers and many more out-of-shape people. A source tells me that the Democrats are six weeks behind the Republicans in their operations and development. With the first week of September only three months away, that can’t be sitting well with Obama’s Chicago outfit.
 Main Course: Tomorrow in Wisconsin, voters will go to the polls to participate in only the third recall election of any U.S. governor (if you’re from California, you may remember fondly when you could have voted for Gary Coleman to replace Gov. Gray Davis in 2003 – a bright spot in my home state’s storied history). Last year, WI Gov. Scott Walker sparked a firestorm when he eliminated most collective bargaining rights for public-sector unions. Since then, pro-labor forces mobbed the state capital in Madison, Democratic state legislators fled to Illinois to avoid a budget vote, and the candidates and independent groups spent over $63 million drumming up support. What happens if Tom Barrett, the Democratic nominee and Milwaukee Mayor, defeats Walker? Foremost, the labor unions’ financial efforts will be vindicated. The unions will gain significant fundraising momentum in important rust belt states such as Ohio and Michigan, making it even harder for Romney to move these must-win states into his column. And if Gov. Walker holds on? You can look for him in a prime speaking spot at the Republican National Convention in August. But more importantly, I expect other Republican Governors and state legislatures to toy with similar proposals. They may not have the courage to act before November, but they’ll float the idea, bring Walker to speak in their state (think Pennsylvania and Ohio), and use it as leverage over the labor/Democratic thorns in their sides. Who’s going to win? At this point, anybody in Wisconsin who plans to vote has made up his or her mind. It’s cliche, but it’s true: it will come down to voter turnout. And the unions are pretty good about loading Democratic voters into vans heading for the polls. Still, I think Walker keeps his job by 4-6 points.
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In the old days when you committed you were going to start a new diet you had to join a gym, buy some new work out clothes, get a heart rate watch, subscribe to an exercise magazine, and perhaps even hire a personal trainer. But not anymore! Thanks to the internet and smartphones, we can save time and money by bragging to our friends—and they pretending to believe us—that we are “committed” to making some major changes in our dietary lifestyle without having to spend hundreds of dollars on all these old school props. All we have to do is download an “app” for our smartphone called “Lose It” And then fail at the diet and exercise plan. Sure, we’re still overweight but look at the time, money and energy we save! Thanks technology!! You really do deliver! Despite having to put up with us too human humans. (Caveat: Some people really have succeeded using this app. They must have either really wanted to lose weight or simply lacked the ability to be able to fool themselves.) |
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