Please sign the petition below to remove the statue of Jefferson Davis currently in Kentucky’s Capitol Rotunda, and replace it with a tribute to Muhammad Ali, “the Louisville Lip” and “the Greatest of All Time.”
I just heard from the Ali family: It is the Champ’s belief that Islam prohibits three-dimensional representations of living Muslims. Accordingly, I have adjusted the petition to call for a two-dimensional representation of Ali (a portrait, picture or mural) in lieu of a statue.
UPDATE (Tuesday, December 2, 2014)
In this interview with WHAS-TV’s Joe Arnold, Governor Steve Beshear endorses the idea of honoring Muhammad Ali in the State Capitol (although he disagrees with removing Davis). Arnold explores the idea further on his weekly show, “The Powers that Be.”
Click here to check out WDRB-TV’s Lawrence Smith’s coverage of the story.
And here’s my op-ed in Ali’s hometown paper, the Louisville Courier-Journal.
UPDATE (Saturday, June 4, 2016)
In the wake of the 2015 Charlestown tragedy, in which a Confederate flag-waving murderer united the nation against racism, all of the most powerful Kentucky policymakers — U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell, Governor Matt Bevin, Senate President Robert Stivers and House Speaker Greg Stumbo — called for the removal of the Davis statue from the Rotunda. Today, as we commemorate last night’s passing of Muhammad Ali, there is no better moment to replace the symbol of Kentucky’s worst era with a tribute to The Greatest of All Time.
UPDATE (Wednesday, June 8, 2016):
Great piece by Lawrence Smith of WDRB-TV in Louisville on the petition drive to replace Jefferson Davis’ statue in the Capitol Rotunda with a tribute to Muhammad Ali.
UPDATE (Thursday, June 9, 2016):
Excellent piece on the petition drive by Jack Brammer that was featured on the front page of the Lexington Herald-Leader.
Highlight of the article:
Miller said he has received a few “angry comments” on his call to honor Ali.
“One of them encouraged me to kill myself,” he said. “You can quote me that I have decided not to take their advice.”
UPDATE (Friday, June 10, 2016)
The petition drives continues to show the Big Mo(hammed): check out these stories from WKYU-FM public radio in Bowling Green and WKYT-TV, Channel 27 in Lexington:
UPDATE (Saturday, June 11, 2016):
Still not convinced? Check out this excerpt from today’s New York Times:
Aside from the gorgeous weather, for me a sure sign of Spring is a sudden jonesing for the perfect lightweight men’s jacket. This time around, I’m expanding the search to jackets plural because there are so many fantastic options out there.
Here are a few that I’m especially fond of in varying styles.
This jacket is the smart result of another high-low partnership, this time between the middle-of-the-road UK department store John Lewis and Joe Casely-Hayford, British designer of luxury menswear brand, Casely-Hayford. I always love a leather jacket, and both the olive color and quilting nicely distinguish this lovely creation from all those black and brown leather bombers out there. ($604)
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With the Brock Jacket, Elie Tahari takes the somewhat overplayed Member’s Only style and gives it a shot in the arm by combining it with classic trench coat details. The color, epaulets, pockets and tortoise buttons all say sophisticated mackintosh, but the abbreviated length modernizes the look. This jacket is an excellent choice for transitional outerwear. ($302)
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I’m very into this Microcheck Jacket from Armani Jeans. It gives you that sporty style without looking like you’re wearing the hoodie from your tracksuit. Another nice thing about this type of men’s jacket is the modified shorter collar that’s meant to be worn up. It looks clean and sharp, and you don’t have to be the guy that goes out of his way to pop a collar that was intended to be worn flat. As one friend says, “popped collars = I need attention.” ($295)
Read the rest of… Julie Rath: The Best Part of Spring — Lightweight Jackets
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu May 1, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
Car talk is different than other conversations. Both the driver and passenger are looking forward and not at each other. Mostly anyway.
It’s not as intimate and more informational.
And both passenger and driver are captives in any conversation.
Earlier today I was stuck in traffic across from a couple about my age. The man was driving and had a grayin…g beard and glasses that somehow seemed fogged.
The woman also wore glasses but had holders on hers so they wouldn’t fly off. She waved her hands animatedly when talking and seemed either to be describing something important to her or venting about something that frustrated her.
The man was basically motionless and emotionless. He preteded to be watching the traffic and concentrating on driving but we were stuck at a standstill in traffic and there was nothing for him to do except listen. But he seemed mostly to be pretending to listen. He wanted her to think he was listening but also wanted her to suspect he may not be listening.
It was his way of communucating that although he cared about what she was saying, he didn’t care that much– and thought she was probably over reacting. She seemed to be getting more dramatic and demonstrative the more he seemed only to be pretending to listen. It was her way of saying, “What I am saying is actually a lot more important than you think it is and you would understand that if you would listen closer to what I am saying.”
As they both kept starring ahead out the windshield.
I truly believe the statement above; to be the best you must be able to handle the worst. Whether we like it not, can deal with it or not, adversity will always be in our way.
No successful person, in any field, has gone through life without adversity.
It makes us who we are. Some will quit when faced with it and some will rise to the occasion and champion the responsibility and use it as a learning experience.
Either way, every situation in our lives cannot be perfect. As sure as there will be death and taxes, there will be adversity. It is how you faced it that counts.
1. Take Responsibility- Control what you can control and accept what you can’t. However, do not point the finger and feel that you cannot change the situation because you absolutely can. It may not be immediate, but all situations can be changed. Remember, at all times you can control your own destiny.
2. Focus On Solutions- If all you do is focus on the problem, you will become frustrated and quit. Focus on the solution to the problem or at least do something about the problem. Complaining will do nothing for you here. Compartmentalize the issue and focus on a game plan to fix it.
3. No Fear- No matter how bad it gets, never have fear. Easier said than done but fear nothing or no one and watch what you will achieve. “Fear nothing, achieve everything.”
4. Have a Sense of Humor- This one I am working on. Everything will pass in life, might as well have fun with it. Make fun of the situation and yourself, keep your sense of humor and it instantly becomes better.
5. Never Quit- Quitting solves nothing. Quitting says it wasn’t important to you. Quitting is an easy way out. Never give up on something you truly want.
Adversity makes the best out of strong people. Let it make the best out of you.
No retreat and No surrender. Because this guy said so…
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Apr 30, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
My beautiful wife and some shmo
Romantics and realists (and silly young couple arguments).
My son Johnny was talking to my wife and I last week and reminded me that I once described myself to him as a “romantic” and my wife, Rebecca, as a “realist” and wanted to know what I meant by that.
I knew exactly the story he was talking about and I told him that I thought the story depicted well the difference in what it means to be a romantic versus being a realist.
After my wife and I had been dating for several months we started to discuss the possibility of marriage. We were in our 20’s and weren’t engaged yet but felt we soon would be and were talking one night at dinner about our love for one another. It was our conversational version of Billy Joel’s song, “I love you just the way you are.” “Would you still love me if I flunked out of law school?” I asked. “Of course I would” Rebecca reassured me.
But during the course of this otherwise sweet conversation I decided to push the envelope a little too far. I asked Rebecca a hypothetical question. “Let’s say that instead of going to law school I drove a taxi and never went to college and had no plans of ever going to college, would you still love me and want to marry me anyway?”
Rebecca looked puzzled at me as she thought about my question. “I’m not so sure about that one.” She said. “I doubt I would want to marry you if you were that different.”
I was floored! I reasoned defensively, “I would still be me …the same person I am right now. You know? But born into a different economic circumstance and with a different job and background. That’s all.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sure you’d be sweet and I would maybe date you but I don’t think I would be able to marry you,” Rebecca tried to explain. “In my family, college is just very important and I don’t think it would occur to me to marry you if you weren’t ever going to go to college.”
“Really? You wouldn’t marry me if I drove a taxi and never planned on going to college?” I said woundedly. So I tried to change the hypothetical. “OK. What if I drove a taxi, hadn’t gone to college but was considering going to college? Would you marry me then?”
Rebecca said, “That’s not a fair question.” “So you are saying ‘no?’ I interjected. “I guess so,” Rebecca said. But added, “It’s not fair to ask that and it doesn’t make me shallow for saying I wouldn’t marry you if you were that different. It’s like me asking you if you’d marry me if I was grotesquely overweight right now. I don’t think you would.”
“That’s different.” I said. “That’s something about you personally that would be different. In my hypothetical I would be the exact same person I am now– just born into a different environment.”
“I don’t think there’s a difference.” Rebecca said.
“Of course there’s a difference,” I said.
“Well, if there wasn’t a difference in our questions, would you marry me if I were really, really overweight?” Rebecca asked again.
“I would,” I said. “Even though it is different.”
“No you wouldn’t” Rebecca snapped.
“I would for sure if you were up to…maybe…say just 40 pounds overweight”
“See!” Rebecca exclaimed. “But not if I were 60 pounds overweight?”
“No, I would marry you if you were 60 pounds overweight right now –assuming you wanted eventually to get in better shape.”
“Well, then, if you drove a taxi and hadn’t gone to college but eventually wanted to go to college –and maybe even graduate school– I would probably marry you.”
“Probably?” I queried.
“Yeah. OK. I would marry you. But only after you finished college.” Rebecca explained.
“Well, I would marry you if you were 60 pounds overweight and wanted eventually to get into shape –but I wouldn’t make you wait until you got in better shape before I would marry you.” I said dejectedly. “We’re just different, I guess. I must be more of a romantic than you are.”
And that is, I suppose, the difference between a romantic and a realist. The romantic is always prouder of his hypothetical position, his hypothetical zest and his hypothetical passion. But a little sad that it isn’t fully reciprocated by the more sensible among us. Who romantics seem inevitably to find and marry. And these realists seem to find a satisfactory amount of admirable real qualities in the romantics they marry. But the romantic feels their spouse—by focusing on only their existing and actual qualities—is missing out on the hypothetical qualities the romantic admires most. But because the realist overlooks the romantic’s hypothetical qualities, and because the romantic overlooks the realist’s actual qualities, they can somehow make it all work. And Lord knows they need each other. But as to who needs the other more? That is a whole different argument. But sounds a lot like the one above.
Re-reading Hunter S. Thompson’s notorious story, “The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved,” I can’t help feeling like I missed out. The past few Derbys I’ve attended haven’t nearly reached the level of decrepitude Thompson describes. You’re more likely to spend all day standing in line than to be hit in the head with a whiskey bottle.
Still, if you’re looking to celebrate Derby in a way that’s guaranteed to be decadent without too much depravity, your best bet is to host a Derby party.
Like most successful shindigs, this one should have several main elements: good food, ample booze, and lively guests. Music and décor help the mood, but the first three are essential.
On Derby Day, guests are likely to be restless as they mingle and contemplate their betting picks. Serving a variety of hearty, bite-size treats buffet style will fuel your pals while allowing them to work the room (which they’ll do, if you’ve chosen wisely). You’re probably familiar with time-honored Kentucky race day dishes such as deviled eggs, Benedictine, and bourbon pecan pie. If you want to turn heads though, you should consider trying something a little different.
For ideas on traditional Derby foods with a twist, I turned to Barbara Goldman, head chef at Parc Café in Maysville, Kentucky. Goldman whips up specials that inject traditional Kentucky dishes with delicious twists. She was kind enough to share the recipes for a few of her covetable dishes, which you can find at the bottom of the article. If you’d like a fresh take on a Southern classic, brandish a platter of her fried green tomatoes with bourbon cherry chutney and goat cheese crumbles. Bored with traditional country ham and biscuits? Try Goldman’s riff on the dish, bourbon peach balsamic glaze with country ham and blue cheese crumbles on toast points. It’s sure to chase away biscuit fatigue. And for heaven’s sake, don’t neglect dessert. Study Goldman’s bourbon bread pudding, perfect it, and then make extra helpings.
As far as drinks, it’s without question that you’ll have bourbon. A proper mint julep should be made individually rather than in batches, so for the sanity of the home bartender, I would recommend a less time-intensive cocktail. Perhaps a carafe with Bourbon Bloody Marys or a heaving bowl of bourbon punch with a big ice ring in the middle. For guests who are intimidated by the brown water, keep sparkling wine and orange juice for mimosas on hand, not to mention pitchers and pitchers of homemade iced tea.
Don’t forget the guest list. Try to invite a fun mix of folks, both close friends and a few newer guys and gals that will keep things interesting. Note: It’s usually worth it to invite one slightly outrageous person who will say or do something conversation-worthy as well. You have to have a little depravity, after all.
For décor, a simple equestrian theme with horseshoes, Derby glasses, and red roses ties the event together. Have some racing programs available as well. However, don’t get too fussy about the style of dishes or other flourishes; you’re better off spending the extra money on a higher grade of country ham or bourbon.
If your friends are up for it, feel free to encourage them to gussy up in seersucker, fancy hats, and bowties. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that’s how everyone at the track dresses. At Churchill Downs, you’ll see all kinds of get-ups, from the t-shirts and shorts of the infield denizens to the serious horsemen and women in jeans who never leave the barns on the backside. Of course, ladies in over-the-top headwear and dapper gents are also represented in vast numbers, from the clubhouse to the concession stand. A few of them may even hazily resemble the caricatures in Thompson’s story. Whatever you do, make sure you’re not one of them at your own party. Unless, of course, that’s what you’re going for.
Bet your Boots, Bourbon Recipes for Derby Parties and Festive Events
Barbara Goldman, Head Chef, Parc Café
Recipes Serve 5
Fried Green Tomatoes with Bourbon Cherry Chutney and Goat Cheese Crumbles
Ingredients:
3 firm green tomatoes
Dash of salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup buttermilk
1 egg
1/3 cup cornmeal
½ cup fine dry bread crumbs
¼ cup peanut oil
1/3 cup goat cheese crumbles
1 thirteen-ounce container of cherry preserves
½ cup Bourbon
½ cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Directions:
a) Wash each unpeeled tomato and slice into ½ inch slices. Sprinkle with salt and let stand for 3 minutes. Place flour in a separate bowl. Beat buttermilk and egg in an additional bowl, and bread crumbs and cornmeal into another.
b) Heat peanut oil in skillet at medium heat. Dip tomato slices into flour bowl, then buttermilk/egg mix, and finally cornmeal-bread crumb bowl. Fry each side of tomato slices in oil for 3-5 minutes or until brown. Set cooked tomatoes on paper towels to cool.
c) In an additional skillet heat cherry preserves at medium heat. Add brown sugar, lemon juice, and bourbon. Keep your eye on preserves, stirring occasionally. When mix comes to boil, 7-10 minutes, allow to cool for 5 minutes.
d) Place each fried tomato open faced on serving plate. Dollop a tablespoon of Bourbon Cherry Chutney on each tomato slice. Sprinkle with goat cheese crumbles.
Bourbon Peach Balsamic Glaze with Country Ham and blue cheese crumbles on toast points
Ingredients:
3 Peaches
½ pound country ham
1 baguette
3 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar
½ cup blue cheese crumbles
Directions:
a) Slice baguette into ½ inch slices. Lay onto pan open faced. Sprinkle with olive oil and toast for 5 minutes at 400 degrees. Allow pan to cool and place small pieces of ham on each toast point.
b) Wash and slice peaches, removing seed. In skillet, heat the remaining oil on medium heat. Add peach slices and balsamic. Stir skillet continuously to keep peaches from burning. Add brown sugar and bourbon. After sugar has dissolved and peaches are as crispy as you prefer, remove from heat.
c) Dollop a peach slice on each country ham toast point. Sprinkle blue cheese across peaches and ham.
Bourbon Bread Pudding (to be served with Bourbon Hard Sauce, recipe below)
Ingredients:
12 cake donuts
1 cup chocolate chips
5 eggs
½ stick softened butter
1/2 quart heavy whipping cream
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla
Non-stick cooking spray
Directions:
a) Spray deep baking dish with non-stick spray. Break apart donuts into baking dish. Dash cinnamon onto the top of donuts in baking dish. In a separate bowl mix all other ingredients. Pour mixture on top of donuts and cover with foil. Bake for 45 minutes at 400 degrees.
Bourbon Hard Sauce (to be served with bread pudding or on top of ice cream. Or perhaps both)
Ingredients:
½ cup Bourbon
1, two pound box brown sugar
1 quart heavy whipping cream
Directions:
a) Heat all ingredients in skillet on medium heat for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally and not allowing to boil. Take off of heat source when sauce comes to a boil.
By Lauren Mayer, on Wed Apr 30, 2014 at 8:30 AM ET
Many of the most interesting, accomplished adults I know were nerds in high school, high achievers with inversely proportionate low social status. Revenge for us usually comes in the form of high school reunions – you know, seeing the head cheerleader who snubbed you suddenly be impressed by your business success. (Or in my case, I ran into the object of my freshman year crush – at a school dance, I’d summoned up all my early feminist initiatve and asked him if he wanted to dance, and his response was “Yes, but not with you.” When I reminded him of this exchange 30 years after the fact, he apologized and said he’d been an idiot, and I barely restrained my urge to shout from the rooftop, “Unhappy teenage girls everywhere, sometimes dreams DO come true!”)
Sometimes ‘good student revenge’ comes in the political arena. While I acknowledge that there are two sides to every story, and that political fanatacism and narrow-mindedness come both right- and left-flavored, it has seemed lately that the far right has gotten intellectually lazy, ignoring facts that contradict dogma, and not bothering to check into the stories about voter fraud, welfare cheats, and the complete eradication of racism that fit their agenda. So it’s been pretty amusing to watch the pundits and politicians who championed rancher Cliven Bundy suddenly stampede away from him once his racist views came to light (on the national stage those same right-wingers had created for him). As Rachel Maddow and other liberals have pointed out, Bundy’s statements about only acknowledging sheriffs but not federal government officials was a hallmark of the ‘posse comitatus’ movement, which was based on southern racist resistence to integration, beginning after the Civil War and continuing through Jim Crow laws up to the present day. This doesn’t mean that every rightwinger who defies the federal government is a racist, but it does point out the importance of doing a little background work. (Confession: I learned this myself after voting for John Edwards in the 2008 primary, because he advocated a single payer health system, but before I’d bothered to look into a few of his personal issues. However, I like to think that I would have been a little more thorough if I’d been championing him on national television.)
Therefore, liberals have been indulging in some delicious schadenfreude (look it up if you’ve never seen Avenue Q), and in my case, I set that gloating to music so I could have the ultimate nerd revenge – using “posse comitatus” in a song lyric.
Many of the most interesting, accomplished adults I know were nerds in high school, high achievers with inversely proportionate low social status. Revenge for us usually comes in the form of high school reunions – you know, seeing the head cheerleader who snubbed you suddenly be impressed by your business success. (Or in my case, I ran into the object of my freshman year crush – at a school dance, I’d summoned up all my early feminist initiatve and asked him if he wanted to dance, and his response was “Yes, but not with you.” When I reminded him of this exchange 30 years after the fact, he apologized and said he’d been an idiot, and I barely restrained my urge to shout from the rooftop, “Unhappy teenage girls everywhere, sometimes dreams DO come true!”)
Sometimes ‘good student revenge’ comes in the political arena. While I acknowledge that there are two sides to every story, and that political fanatacism and narrow-mindedness come both right- and left-flavored, it has seemed lately that the far right has gotten intellectually lazy, ignoring facts that contradict dogma, and not bothering to check into the stories about voter fraud, welfare cheats, and the complete eradication of racism that fit their agenda. So it’s been pretty amusing to watch the pundits and politicians who championed rancher Cliven Bundy suddenly stampede away from him once his racist views came to light (on the national stage those same right-wingers had created for him). As Rachel Maddow and other liberals have pointed out, Bundy’s statements about only acknowledging sheriffs but not federal government officials was a hallmark of the ‘posse comitatus’ movement, which was based on southern racist resistence to integration, beginning after the Civil War and continuing through Jim Crow laws up to the present day. This doesn’t mean that every rightwinger who defies the federal government is a racist, but it does point out the importance of doing a little background work. (Confession: I learned this myself after voting for John Edwards in the 2008 primary, because he advocated a single payer health system, but before I’d bothered to look into a few of his personal issues. However, I like to think that I would have been a little more thorough if I’d been championing him on national television.)
Therefore, liberals have been indulging in some delicious schadenfreude (look it up if you’ve never seen Avenue Q), and in my case, I set that gloating to music so I could have the ultimate nerd revenge – using “posse comitatus” in a song lyric.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Apr 29, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
I just bought a book to read with my Rebecca.
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis.
As Paris Hilton would say, “That’s hot!”
Yeah, I know. When we met I never really saw a book like this as a future gift we could enjoy together. But check out the intro:
“Your life is addressing these questions to you: What has brought you to this place in your journey, this moment in your life?
What gods, what forces, what family, what social environment, has framed your reality, perhaps supported, perhaps constricted it? Whose life have you been living? Why, even when things are going well, do things not feel quite right?
Why does so much seem a disappointment, a betrayal, a bankruptcy of expectations?
Why do you believe that you have to hide so much, from others, from yourself? Why does life seem a script written elsewhere, and you barely consulted, if at all?
Why have you come to this book, or why has it come to you, now? Why does the idea of your soul trouble you, and feel familiar as a long lost companion? Is the life you are living too small for the soul’s desire?
Why is now the time, if ever it is to happen, for you to answer the summons of the soul, the invitation to the second, larger life?”
If you are in middle life, that is pretty hot–in its own way!
By Erica and Matt Chua, on Tue Apr 29, 2014 at 8:30 AM ET
Formerly named Ceylon, Sri Lanka’s history is intertwined with it’s namesake tea. Luckily for visitors, the tea producing regions are also stunningly beautiful, featuring rolling hills, jagged extinct volcanoes, and the world’s best sunsets. Having been settled for thousands of years the hill country not only is modern, but has cultural sights worthy of the most experienced world traveler. Surrounding these areas are some of the globe’s best beaches, surfing areas and places for relaxation. A seemingly tiny country, Sri Lanka really has it all.
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DON’T MISS:Arugam Bay. It’s what surfing movies are made of: laid-back town, beautiful beaches, and a distinct lack of commercialization that ruins many of the world’s beaches. MUST SEE: The train from Kandy to Ella, one of the world’s great train rides that takes just 6 hours for less than $5 in comfortable second class. MUST TASTE: “Short Eats” Sri Lanka’s fast-food. Availability everywhere these snacks will fulfill any craving from meat to sweet.
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TRIP PLANNING: Sri Lanka is deceivingly small but packed with things to do. Make sure you give yourself enough time to enjoy the beaches and see the sights. GETTING AROUND: Buses are great to get between major cities. With some strong negotiating rickshaws and taxis can be ridiculously cheap to get between places on your own schedule…but don’t accept the first five prices they offer you…
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OUR COST PER DAY (2 ppl): $32.26! Our cheapest country by FAR!COST OF A BEER: $1-2 for a 650ml beer. KEY MONEY-SAVING TIP: Take the A/C buses, they are 75% less than private transport (taxis) and will get you places in comfort.
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YOU NEED TO KNOW: Buses run on odd schedules such as only having connections early in the morning, check with your hotel to make sure you can make your connections. IF WE KNEW WHAT WE KNOW NOW: We would not bother going to Columbo at all. Negombo Beach is closer to the airport, easy to get to/from anywhere in the country, and much nicer than Columbo. HELPFUL LINKS TO LEARN MORE: Wikitravel Kandy, Wikitravel Airport, Wikitravel Sri Lanka.
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WE WERE THERE FOR: 3 weeks. OUR HIGHLIGHT: The T20 Cricket World Cup. We attended two matches and enjoyed every beer minute. WHERE WE WENT: Colombo, Kandy, Adam’s Peak, Ella, Arugam Bay, Hikkaduwa, Negombo, DambullaWE REGRET MISSING: More beaches. After seeing three we wanted to see them all!
Surfing, cricket, tea plantations and country life: what Sri Lanka is all about! Experience the best sights of Sri Lanka in our highlight reel of our three week visit to this amazing island.
Discovering a true “surfer’s paradise” is what Arugam Bay is all about. This wonderland is a strip of beachside hotels, cafes and surf shops along an expansive bay of perfectly breaking waves. Experienced and novice surfers from the world over arrive to hit the waves, try surfing for the first time, or just enjoy the laid back surfer culture. It’s a can’t miss destination in Sri Lanka.
The idea of 2000 year old Buddhist caves doesn’t excite many…until they step inside to discover the carefully carved, beautifully painted statues. Beginning in 100 BC local kings ordered these caves carved for future generations to marvel at, possibly making them more impressive today than when they were carved. Of the Ancient Cities in Sri Lanka this is the most impressive and reasonably priced, making it a must-see.
Tea plantations rolling among cool hills is what Sri Lanka is all about. The country was formerly named Ceylon, a name which the world-renowned tea still bears. Ella and the Adam’s Peak areas give visitors the chance to marvel at the carefully tended hills, the other-worldly volcanic scenery and jagged peaks. By train, bus or foot, these areas are the Sri Lanka of legend.
The only real city in “Hill Country” the cool air is a respite from the steamy coasts. Situated in a valley between lush green hills, the city is centered around a holy lake and a temple that purportedly houses one of Buddha’s teeth. It is a great town to relax and refresh while sipping tea.
My dad was a simple man from Tennessee. He worked in a factory for 40 years leaving that concrete floor every afternoon to a farm where he raised some of the best tobacco in Kentucky. Up until five weeks ago, he had never stepped foot in a doctor’s office or hospital. My father passed away a few days ago. Thankfully, he went peacefully. I thought I would take this opportunity to share a few observations and life applications gleaned from my dad’s last days.
• The Power of Friends. We took dad home as Hospice met us in the living room with a hospital bed. His friend Charles came that afternoon and held dad’s hand and reminisced about many of the memories they shared. I heard him say, “Bill, we’ve had some great times together. We cut a lot of tobacco. I love you!” Wow! What a beautiful thing to see two friends holding hands and reliving the past. We frequently shake hands with one another, but how often do we take that opportunity to pull that person a little closer and let them know we love them? I regret taking opportunities to tell friends how much they meant to me, that I loved them. Charles made it in time to tell dad he loved him, many other friends of dad did not. When I pass I hope my family is by my side but I pray my friends are there too!
• The Power of Flowers. I must admit, in the past I didn’t put too much thought into sending flowers when a friend, family member or business associate suffered a loss. I would call the florist, place the order and never put too much thought whether it actually comforted that person during this difficult time. But as I entered the funeral home for dad’s visitation I was immediately overwhelmed by the flowers that surrounded my father. I personally smelled, touched and enjoyed each flower arrangement. And as I reviewed that small envelope with the sender’s name, I wept. Not only did the flowers brighten the room, they touched my family in a deep and powerful way. Several arrangements were from organizations where my father had been a customer. And while I know they sent them out of the goodness of their heart not expecting anything in return, my family and I will be even more loyal to that business after this compassion. But we don’t need the passing of someone to send flowers. An inexpensive flower arrangement to a friend letting them know you’re thinking of them or how much you appreciate them sends a very strong message. Bottom line, I will never second-guess whether I should send flowers again.
• Visiting with others. My wife’s father died over 25 years ago and she can still remember every one of her friends who attended his visitation. Again, I will be honest. There have been many occasions I questioned whether I should stop by the funeral home and pay my respects and comfort that family. Many times I’ve talked myself out of going. But the times I listened to my heart and made the visit, I never regretted it. Like my wife, I will never forget those who visited with my family during these tough times. But visiting with a friend or family goes way beyond a death of a loved one. What keeps us from making time to call that friend and simply say, “Can I drop by and visit with you? How strong would that be? In my workshops I tell leaders the greatest respect you can show your employees is to simply spend time with them. A one-on-one visit with the only agenda to show appreciation and strengthen the relationship.
• Forgiveness & Reconciliation. The passing of a loved one is often an opportunity for forgiveness and reconciliation. As I was greeting visitors at the funeral home there were a few “surprises” in line. For whatever reasons (past arguments/disagreements, etc.) there were a few people I didn’t expect to see. There were also a few flower arrangements sent from people I would not have expected. And as I greeted and embraced those people there was a weight lifted, a warm feeling. Not a word said about the past, just a simple, “I’m sorry about your loss.” And reconciliation doesn’t necessarily mean resolution. Way too often, we avoid reaching out to someone thinking that would mean rehashing the past. Forgiveness and reconciliation can happen without rehashing the incident. And just like reaching out to our friends and sending flowers, we don’t have to wait for a funeral for forgiveness and reconciliation to occur.
I’m back at work now. I will continue to grieve my father’s passing while continually striving to be the man he was. I will never forget the love, compassion, friendship and generosity so many showed my family and me during this difficult time. And in the future if I grab your hand and say, “Thanks for being my friend, I love you,” please do not be alarmed! I might even send flowers.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Apr 28, 2014 at 12:00 PM ET
Navigating life…
The problem with taking the high road is that it never feels like a shortcut–and it isn’t supposed to.
But if you are running late and in a hurry or bad with directions and get lost easily, it is tempting to avoid the high road and take the low road instead.
But it’s always best to take the high road anyway. It’s the right thing to do and sometimes even faster.
The low road only seems faster –but rarely is. And the traffic is always horrendous because so many others assume its the fastest route.
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Thought for the day…
It’s almost May and has been muggy hot for the last week yet it snowed last night.
And you worry about seeming weird or inconsistent to other people? Get over yourself. It’s just the way things are.
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Illist (Definition) Something is the best,the coolist, the illist example: Coconut soup at Kashmir restautant in Bardstown Road.
Usage: “D*mn, that coconut soup is the illist.”
Just remember the next time you want to sound younger and cooler than you really are …that you will never be too old to humiliate yourself.