Insurance Executive: We don’t like Obamacare. Before Obama, our control over the health industry gave us great license to do everything we wanted to do in order to make big bucks. A person on one of our polices who gets really sick and expensive to cover? Throw them off. A child with a pre-existing condition who will cost more to insure over a lifetime? Deny her coverage. Can’t afford coverage? Sucks to be you.
We also became very adept at spending more on ourselves and our middle-men than spending on healthcare. Obama now isn’t letting us do that. We actually have to send rebates to the people we insure if we spend more on ourselves than on their health! And his purchasing cooperatives will make us compete with private insurers in cities and in some cases, entire states, in areas where we once had absolute monopolies, which will make us lower prices to be competitive. Yeah, we price out about 50 million people, but that’s free enterprise! Vote Romney!
Plutocrat: Obama will appoint Supreme Court Justices that will most certainly overturn Citizens United. My ability to anonymously fund Super PAC’s with unlimited dollars is my right because the Supreme Court says spending and speech are one in the same. Indeed, rich people are now much freer than everyday people. Let’s keep it that way. I spent $20 million helping Romney via my Super PAC; but that’s a drop in the bucket compared to tax cuts I will receive if Romney prevails. And some of my wealth will even trickle down to the lowly 47%, so everybody wins! Vote Romney!
Wall St Exec: Yeah, the stock market is at historic highs. But Obama didn’t show me enough personal respect. I want a POTUS who is deferential to guys like me. I’m doing well, but Obama doesn’t put me on an alter, and that hurts my feelings. And yeah, we helped cause a market collapse, but Dodd-Frank is really annoying, as is that new watchdog for average citizens, the Consumer Protection Bureau. When companies like mine profit by fleecing customers, nickel and diming them with fees as one example, we profited greatly. Obama now wants to keep us in check. Romney will remove those annoying checks. Vote Romney!
Moral Majority: Our Majority in congress, in the courts, and at the grassroots was making great strides in terms of conferring onto ourselves the power to rule over women when it came to their sexual and reproductive choices. We know that rape is a matter of degree, sometimes deliberate, sometimes not. And of course, pregnancies that result from rape are God’s plan, and we want to force rape victims to honor HIS will. But that Obama, he wants to take that power away from us, and give it back to women. We can’t trust sexually active women (like that hussy, Sandra Fluke)) with that kind of power. It should be our power to decide for them! Defend liberty (except for women)! Vote Romney!
Energy Lobbyist: We have a great vision for fueling our nation: “Clean” coal! Earthquake inducing fracking! Drill baby drill . . . whether it is in pristine nature preserves or our vast oceans! Blood for oil! Cheney invited us to the White House and literally allowed us to write national energy policy. Now Obama is un-writing much of that work. He’s big on flaky “alternatives” like wind and sun, and jacking up mpg on cars and trucks. We want a return to the old days! “Vote Romney!,” just like the sticker on my Hummer tells you to do!
Defense Contractor: $2 TRILLION more for defense. Not billion, not hundred billion, but TRILLION, twice over. And the Pentagon didn’t even request that extra money! Need I say more? Vote Romney!