John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Opening Lines

jyb_musingsFavorite first sentences of novels….

The easy ones are “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times” from Tale of Two Cities.

Or perhaps “Call me Ishmael” from Moby Dick.
But for my money, it’s hard to beat this opening line from Life, The Universe and Everything from Douglas Adams.

“The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was.”

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Clever Insights

When something you think is interesting isn’t really interesting to someone who tells you it is interesting. (Or things I learned today that I wasn’t expecting to learn)

Today I realized that when you explain what you believe is a uniquely clever and impressive insight and then eagerly wait for the response and your listener responds with only “That is very interesting. I had never thought about it that way before” the listener doesn’t really literally mean he thinks your supposed clever comment is, in fact, interesting.

He also doesn’t regret not having “thought of it that way before.” That is just a polite way to dismiss your imagined clever comment in the same way someone might say to you after you describe what you believe is a unique meal you just ate by saying, “I’d never thought about eating four day old succotash with sardines and ice cream before. That is very interesting.”

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jyb_musingsAn unhealthy desire to be affiliated with the Ivy League.

When you learn there is a Yale hospital when you are 50 years old and your first thought is “I wonder if I get sick if I could get in?”

And your next thought is, “I bet I could. Finally, a way into the Ivy League for me.”

But when your third thought is to post about it on Facebook, you are reminded that not everyone was meant for the Ivy League. Including you.

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What will happen next?

A friend who is concerned about our nation’s political stand-off and assumes I know a great deal more about politics than I do asked me if I thought things “Would get better soon?”

I wasn’t going to fully answer at first ….but after giving it more thought, will share what will happen.

Yes, it will get better. Only a little at first…but then, in due time, it will getnoticeably better.

Then it will get worse again.

And then after a short while things will briefly improve again –and then get much worse.

Then things will get really, really good. I mean awesome. Just… fantastic.

But then when we are starting to get used to really, really good times, it will all of a sudden get really, really, really, really bad. It will not be as bad as some will be saying but will be seriously bad for awhile. I don’t know the exact date when this really bad part will start….but trust me on this. Bad.

And then it will get better. Not good, mind you. Just better but it will seem like it got good because things will have been bad for so long.

They will stay that way for awhile and then really will get good. But just barely .

Then bad again. And then pretty good again and then very good.

And then we will die.

But stuff will keep getting good and bad; better and worse. But the specifics, to me anyway, start to get murky at this point.

Hope this helps.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Sleep

Some people take sleep for granted. Like something that just happens naturally without thinking about it and without effort.

That’s not the case for everyone and advice to us about fluffing up our pillow, no caffeine after 4pm, not eating late and no watching TV in bed, isn’t very helpful. For one thing, we never make it to bed in the first place to not watch TV or fluff up our pillow. But thanks anyway.

That kind of advice, to a true insomniac, is akin to trying to house train a dog by explaining to the dog there is a restroom right next to their pen and to just use it as needed. But remember to put the seat back down when finished.

It’s just not in the cards for us. Or the dog.

jyb_musingsAnd so as you wake up “bright and early” and are ready to greet the day with enthusiasm and see a colleague who looks like he is moving underwater and would have trouble following a multi-sentence conversation with The Dude from The Big Lewbowski, just look at him and smile to yourself and remember that if your friend were a dog you wouldn’t get mad at him for not putting the toilet seat back down in the restroom.

In other words, no advice, please. Just cut us a little slack.

And try not to be overly-chipper.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Father-Daughter Trips

Maggie and JohnEach year about this time my daughter and I take a father-daughter trip.

And this year is no exception.

We started with a bitterly cold weekend at Camp Piamingo for our first father -daughter weekend about 8 years ago. It was called Indian Summer, I think and was designed for dads and daughters. We gave oursleves the nicknames Papa Bear and Baby Bear and brought board games like Hooskerdu andCandyland. We slept on the floor of a cabin in below freezing tempretures as I kept an eye on a large spider that was either lazy, dead or frozen into the woodwork a few feet away.

The next year we went to Chicago to the American Girl Store and to see the Cheetah Girls in concert. Except I mistakenly bought Cheetah Girl tickets to a concert 2 hours from our hotel and didnt have a car. Maggie, my 9 year old and very wise daughter shrugged and suggested we just go to dinner, adding “This is supposed to be about bonding with each other anyway. Not about concerts.”

She just gets more awesome each year. And I look forward to bonding and seeing what she teaches me.

jyb_musingsThis weekend we decided to repeat last year’s NY weekend instead of repeating the original Camp Piamingo weekend.

And this year Momma Bear will be joining us.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Offering My Support to Rand Paul

I watched the hubbub over the weekend and KY US Senator Rand Paul borrowing some lines from Wikipedia to use in a speech where he references the movie plot of Gattaca Well, for what it’s worth, if I had somehow found myself in a situation where I had to give an important speech and reference the movie Gattaca, I think I would simply have looked it up on Wikipedia for the plot summary–just like Sen Paul— instead of watching the movie for myself and having to come up with my own personal commentary about it.

I remember when the movie Gattaca came out in 1997 and was in the local theaters. At the time I had several opportunities to see it with my wife and chose instead Good Will Hunting, Titanic, As Good as it Gets, and even Lost World instead. And, yes, if you really press me to be completely forthright and transparent about this issue, I saw Nicholas Cage’s Face Off that year instead of Gattaca too. That was probably a mistake in retrospect.

But the point is I had many opportunities to see Gattaca in the theatres and never did. Later when it was on video, I rented (well….there are too many movie titles to list. Just know there were several hundred rental movies I chose to rent since 1997 instead of Gattaca, too) Later when it was available on cable, Gattaca got beat out by several hundred other movies I chose to watch instead.

Yes, I really love movies. But not enough to have ever watched Gattaca. Even though it did get an 82% on Rotten Tomatoes….. I can’t really explain it why it had no appeal to me. Maybe I’m just not much of a sci-fi guy.

Plus, Ethan Hawke, Jude Law, Uma Thurman and Gore Vidal?? I just didn’t see how the chemisy would work.

And, finally, just the word Gattaca made my stomach turn and head ache wondering what it could be about that I wasn’t interested in. Finally, it is apparently mostly an anti-abortion political diatribe and those get a little wearisome to me whether I agree or not.

jyb_musingsAnd for the final test–the test that proved beyond doubt—I understand and support Sen Rand Paul’s choice for going the Wiki route on this movie instead of watching it for myself? Even after all the brouhaha about the speech and movie over the weekend, I still have no desire to see Gattaca. I haven’t even read the Wikipedia article about it. Or even the few sections Sen Paul used.

And, frankly, don’t think I ever will. I’ll take Sen Paul’s word for it about the movie and what it says on Wikipedia about it (and back him up on not laboriously sitting through the whole tedious sci-fi flick).

I think I’ll just watch either Goodwill Hunting or As Good as it Gets again. Maybe both…if I don’t have to use either of them in a speech.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Vacation From Myself

jyb_musingsSometimes I think it would be nice to take a vacation— not “to” any place but “from” myself.

Not sure how it works or what the lodging arrangements would look like but would kinda be a nice break to get away from myself for a week — or  just a long weekend.

I think a little distance from myself could be good now.

I feel I am getting too enmeshed with myself and showing signs of copendency-…-I have this compulsion to have to know what I am doing and a compulsion to “fix” me. I need to learn to let go and not care what I think about myself.

A self-vacation may be just what I need.

Been a long, long time since I have been able to do that. Can’t even remember last time.

Wonder if there are any  Groupons for a vacation like this?

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Favorite Halloween Story

1454557_10153471918530515_1989508138_nFavorite family Halloween story ever.

When my son Johnny was 3 he dressed up like Batman. He was dressed in full character and kept the mask on at all times–and although only 3 he was a very friendly and talkative child already.

We stopped by Blockbuster before Trick-or-Treating and there were two teenagers, too cool for Halloween (or life), who glanced at us and gave us a scoffing, dismissive look—as if to say “A father and son on Halloween. How lame.”

They had piercings all over, tattoos and Goth attire. Even though I was in my mid 30s, rebellious teens intimidated me so I nudged Johnny away from them.

When I wasn’t looking, Johnny slipped away from me and when I heard him he was making conversation with the two uber-cool teens.

“Hey you guys!” He said cheerfully. “I’m Batman.” No response…just a look of disgust from the teens.

jyb_musingsThen Johnny added, “So who are you guys dressed up as?”

It was a total smack down by a 3 year old to two teens. They were speechless and humiliated with how silly they looked. They tucked tail and slinked out of the door.

I’ve always felt safe when I was with Johnny since then.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: A Moment of Self-Reflection

A moment of self-reflection.

You know the ones that make you think about where you are in your life and if you are good enough.

We all have them.

Just now I am parked in Staples parking lot waiting for store to open. I’m in my maroon Honda Accord, empty sacks of Chik-fil-A on floor. I am 50 years old wearing khaki pants with spin dried button down striped shirt and wavy disheveled hair.

While waiting, I have laptop open and posting on Facebook about my dog going to the bathroom in my office this morning.

jyb_musingsThen a shiny jet black regal looking car drives up beside me. It is a BMW and seems to clear it’s throat so I will notice. The driver is also about 50 and is wearing pin stripe dark suit and heavily starched white dress shirt with striped tie with a tie clip. His hair is combed back immaculately in perfect rows standing at attention proudly with just the right amount of product. Thin frame bifocals and a serious stern look as he looks straight ahead waiting for Staples to open.

I hope he looks over at me and reflects for a few moments and asks himself, “How did I get to be such a loser?”

I doubt he even has a Facebook account.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Good Life Advice

jyb_musingsWe often confuse our primary task to be our ability to make the “right” decision …and avoid at all costs making a “wrong” decision.

But life doesn’t really work that way. We don’t live in a world that deterministic, like playing the game show “Let’s Make a Deal” with Monty Hall and we have to choose behind one of three doors to determine if we go home with a brand new car or ragged looking Billy goat.

In the real world the important thing is to make a decision —and then “make it right.” It’s what we do “after” the decision is made that matters most. Not the decision itself.

Oh, and one other thing. If a decision and your efforts don’t pan out, nobody said you can’t change your mind. And then change it again. Just remember if you do, the new decision is only the starting point not the final destination.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Desbate with Descartes

Point, Counterpoint: a deep philosophical debate with Rene Descartes (dead) and John Brown (not dead but bored and wasting time on a frivolous post.)

Mr. Descartes will go first:

“I think, therefore, I am”
–Rene Descartes

John Brown on rebuttal:

“Sure. That sounds really smart at first, but come on. Really? I mean….it doesnt even stand to reason. For example, some people think too much. That doesnt mean they exist too much, right?

Other people only think sometimes. We don’t say they only exist sometimes.

Do we? I don’t.

And some people dont think at all, but still exist and continue to show up at family reunions. I know this for a fact. I was one of them for about 18 months in the early1980’s and still got invited to and attended a family reunion.

jyb_musingsMaybe a better formulation could be, “I got invited to attend my family reunion, therefore, I am.” But then what about those living in cultures that don’t celebrate family reunions or families where the family member who usually hosts the family reunions has had it and finally says “I am not doing this anymore. I am sick of all you ungrateful jerks. Let someone else have it at their house next time.” This happens. A lot. What about them? They still exist, right.

Maybe Descartes would have made his point more validly by saying, “I sometimes try to sound like a know-it-all by saying things that sound really profound even though they really aren’t, therefore I am irritating and get on people’s nerves.”

If Descartes had gone with this formulation, I doubt anyone would have challenged him and we wouldn’t even be having this debate right now.

And I didn’t even have to think too hard to completely disprove Descartes’ theory. And that is pretty cool– whether or not I can prove I exist.

John Y.’s Video Flashback (1995):

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