By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Sep 20, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET  Yes! It really can happen. And just did to me.
No. Not anything catastrophically bad. Just something catastrophically idiotic and stratospherically unlikely.
I use these USB modems for remote internet access—live off of them, really. It’s a must have for me because I travel a great deal and work out of my car frequently.
So when I lost it several weeks ago I panicked. And scoured my office. And scoured my home office. And scoured the rest of my home. And scoured my car. And scoured them all again. Twice.
Finally, in desperation, after going two weeks without my usb internet lifeline, I broke down Friday afternoon and bought a new one. It was full price. About $150 and they set up a new SIM card for me in the store. It was like getting oxygen again for someone with respiratory problems. I could breathe again….internet-wise, anyway.
Friday was great. But then on Saturday I was in my car and needed to send some emails and tracked down my handy USB modem–but it wasn’t connecting. I tried again later in the day. No connection and a message to call AT&T to activate.
 I shrugged and figured it was new and the bugs needed to be worked out— and it would work next time–like it did Friday. But today and tonight it failed again. Frustrated…I called AT&T…and was put on hold for 26 minutes while I thought of all the reasons this shouldn’t be happening that AT&T should be made aware of…
After running through the first customer service rep who was stumped…I was transferred to a more expert customer service rep….She was stumped, too, after I explained what had happened and that my USB modem wasn’t working.
She then asked me to open up the modem and read her the SIM Card number. I ripped off the back of the modem and finally found the SIM card. I growled out the teeny-tiny numbers to her after pointing out “No human can read these without a magnifying glass.”
When I finished she said, “That’s not possible.”
“Why not, I asked.” She laughed and said, “That is your old SIM Card number.” And added, “You have apparently found your old USB Modem and lost your new USB Modem with the new SIM Card that is activated.”
I paused….for a long time. Part dumbfounded, part humiliated, part wanting to crawl into the fetal position under my desk. It seemed like 3 minutes passed before I spoke again ….but was really only about 5 1/2 seconds. “Well, um, can you fix it?”
“No. Not over the phone. That card has been de-activated and you’ll have to go to an ATT store tomorrow to get a new SIM Card for your old USB Modem.” Pausing before chirping helpfully, “Or you could find your new USB Modem. It should still work.”
So, tomorrow I’m scouring my office. And then my home office. And then the rest of my home and my car….to find the new USB Modem I just bought to replace the old USB Modem I had lost but inadvertently found and mistook for the new USB Modem. But can’t use anymore since I activated the new USB Modem on Friday.”
And customer service chalked up another “story” for the bar later tonight.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 18, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Why can’t they make one of those?
I need a smartphone app that explains the meaning of life to me and then charts my daily progress on a multi-color graph based on a bracelet I wear and the spiritual significance of daily activities I input on this smartphone app after I sign in.
And I want to be able to post my weekly progress report on Facebook.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jul 26, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
 I waste so much time browsing in technology stores –and then not buying anything–that I am considering charging Office Depot, Staples, and Best Buy a “browsing fee” of $4.50 every half-hour I browse.
I am valuable to them even though I rarely purchase anything because I make them look busy with an extra customer.
And I bring the added benefit of occassionally seeing someone who I know and tbey may think, “I know John is a busy guy and if he is browsing today at Office Depot maybe I should find the time too.”
That is until this friend remembers seeing me last week browsing at Staples and the week before that seeing me browsing at Best Buy.
By Jason Grill, on Fri Jul 12, 2013 at 1:30 PM ET Check out a cameo from contributing RP (and former Missouri State Representative) Jason Grill in this teaser video about his taking part in a Google Glass experiment — and stay tuned in the days ahead for more videos chronicling their progress:
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jun 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
 If lottery tickets were plane seats and if being seated in the farthest row back (where there is no recline and you are positioned as a “greeter” for passengers needing the lavatory) and your seat is also in the far corner of the farthest back row.
And if you ended up in that exact seat the last three flights in a row you have been on…..
Well….it would be an awfully rare and potentially valuable lottery ticket .
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Travel tips for visiting NYC.
If you are meeting three male friends who are highly educated and they ask you to meet at MOMA at 5:30pm, you may have troubles if you assume too much.
I assumed that since it was 5:30 they wanted to eat dinner, albeit a bit early.
I further assumed, rather excitedly, that my friends had suggested an Italian restaurant. Pronounced MO-MA. Like Italian, I assumed, for MAMA.
I imagined big homemade meatballs from an Italian family recipe.
Then there is the problem of asking cab drivers to take you, please, to “Moma’s restaurant.” The first taxi driver pulled away without letting me in. I assumed he thought it was only a few blocks away and wanted a bigger fare.
Finally, when my exasperated taxi driver gave up on finding a Moma’s restaurant, he dropped me off at The 21 Club. I asked the kind doorman if there was a “Moma’s restaurant” nearby and apologized for not going to 21 Club. He politely told me one block over. Finally!!
And there I saw my three friends…although running a little late and by this time quite hungry. We were outside MOMA’s–which seemed to be more than just a restaurant (in fact it was big and long and seemed to include works of art as well). “Nice!” I thought to myself.
I asked someone working beside the entrance where the restaurant was. He laughed and said, “Restaurant?! This is the Museum of Modern Art! There’s no restaurant!!” And laughed again.
I alerted my friends they had mistakenly chosen an art museum that lacked a restaurant.
The friend who suggested MOMA’s said, “Oh, I’m not hungry.”
And it was about this time that I put two and two—really more like one and one–together.
We weren’t going to an Italian restaurant with homemade meatballs like I told my wife.
We were going to the Museum of Modern Art. Which didn’t even have a concession stand.
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Airlines should have a SkyMiles-like program for members that rewards them with a free round-trip ticket anywhere in the US every time you miss three flights.
And a free round-trip ticket anywhere internationally if you miss the three flights within a 2 month period of time.
I’m not suggesting rewarding irresponsibility but rather persistence.
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Is there a silver lining to getting re-routed from St Louis, MO airport and instead landing in Kansas City, Mo?
For three of the connecting cities for passengers on my flight it actually works out better for them flying from Kansas City, MO. They deplane and are placed on new and better connecting flight home. Pretty cool and a nice silver lining.
For the remaining passengers with connecting flights, we are flying back to St Louis airport and for eight of the connecting cities, passengers on this flight will still make their connections. Pretty cool. And a nice silver lining.
For passengers flying to Louisville and Baltimore, we have no connection that works for us in Kansas City, MO and we will miss our connection tonight by the time we arrive in St. Louis.
But…if you are from Louisville, KY at least you are not from Baltimore. MD. And that’s pretty cool. And a nice silver lining. And remember, after the merger in 2003 Louisville became the 16th largest city in the US (edging out, you guessed it…. The city with airline passengers who have really lousy luck, Baltimore, MD).
As for passengers from Baltimore, MD on this flight, maybe you’ll find a silver lining next time your flight gets re-routed. And take heart. You are still a larger city than Kansas City, MO. And will be leaving here for St Louis shortly.
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Updating metaphors.In a discussion last week with a top manager he kept referring to “carrots” and “sticks” and how he needed both with his employees to achieve the results his company was pursuing.
I wanted to tell him “Carrots are OK but some employees might want something else instead — like a raise, or flex-time, more involvement in the project and better communication. Or maybe celery or edamame.
Things have changed a lot since the “carrot and stick” metaphor was invented and there are more appealing options and attention-getting threats.
Sticks can still be effective but so can shaming, alienating, lateral transfers, and bad progress reports. Or tasers. Caning can get attention much better than just an ordinary stick. Ask anyone in the advanced economy of Singapore.
Maybe we should update the “carrot and sticks” metaphor by changing it to “Edamame and Caning.” It seems to be a more appropriate and modern version of an exhausted and outdated business metaphor.
Just an idea. From 10,000 feet in the air with nothing to do except offer random and silly thoughts while waiting to get through turbulence that makes it hard to concentrate on anything serious and calls for something silly to distract myself from a bumpy plane ride.
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One if the many reasons I love Louisvlle.
Leaving Kansas City this morning to go home to a city that is more secure about itself, Louisville. A city that others already know is a city and doesn’t have to include the word “city” in its name for fear it will be confused with a state.
Louisville rolls like that.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jun 10, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
What’s in a name? In the business world, more than we usually think….
Award for worst named new technology in the past decade?
“The Cloud” A remote point for storing massive amounts of sensitive data
Nothing says security like “I’m moving my data from the server in IT to a place where it will be more secure and accessible. Something called “a cloud”
It’s like calling a sturdy new product for storing dangerous liquids “The Sieve.”
I know that were naming the new technology based on its physical (or rather non-physical) characteristics.
But it’s important to remember when naming a new product or service–especially one that is supposed to change the world— to think not only of the “appearance” but also of the benefit it produces for future users.
And surely the name “The Cloud” has given pause to IT directors who might otherwise be eager to take the leap (worth billions for a truly superior product)but resist because they have to explain to their boss how “The Cloud” isn’t anything like a cloud but just the opposite.
Of course in naming some things, like boys and girls, neither appearance nor functionality are helpful. But even painful names like Helga and Norbert would have been better for remote data storage than “The Cloud.”
I would feel secure with all my sensitive data stored in “The Norbert” or “Helga”
Then again maybe the person who came up with the name “The Cloud” was named Norbert or Helga —and was just trying to get even. That might explain it.
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Jun 4, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
The hierarchy of communication:
Text
Chat
Email
Phone
Text is largely considered the lowest common denominator in the food chain of communication. Although arguably Facebook chat is lower. I mean you have to have someone’s cell # in order to text, right?
Yet I love texting. It’s quick and efficient and concise. And I am rarely concise- ask my husband. I once told a friend who was editing an interview of mine that I am better when edited, and he wisely said “Everyone’s better when edited.” (Thank you, Dave Adox) And here I babble.
 Anyway, text forces me to edit myself, and I appreciate that. Apparently Harvard Magazine reported that young people say phone conversations slow them down. I agree! Yet a lot women (and some men too) feel that it’s rude to text in dating rather than calling. Who has time for all this calling? Who knows how to win at the game of phone tag these days? I sure don’t. These phone-o-philes think that they are standing up for healthy communication and true connection. They often have quite a moral high ground about it. I find their superiority complex on this topic to be unwarranted. The era of the phone call (ala “we talk on the phone every night”) has ended. This battle has been already lost.
I see texting as men’s revenge. The phone call era gave rise to a lot of annoyed guys and the phrase “chewing my ear off.” Many of these guys were pretty keen on technology and thus the text was born. Or maybe Al Gore invented it; I’m not sure.
Read the rest of…
Nancy Slotnick: Text in the CIty
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue May 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Me and all the things I can do with my second phone
I have a second phone. I use it as my back-up phone. For situations like when I lose my primary phone. I have my back-up, or secondary phone, to call my first phone and help me find it by hearing the ring.
Sometimes my main phone has fallen under my car seat. Sometimes I’ve slipped it into my laptop bag and forgotten where I put it. Other tim…es, I’ve placed it in my pocket or in the holster for my back-up phone. But the great thing about my back-up phone is that I don’t lose my main phone for long.
It helps me save time that way.
This past Sunday I lost my phone that morning. And found it quickly, of course. Just how I always do.
But later in the day, after a few phone calls, I noticed an unusual number that I had tried to call me earlier in the day. Not once, but twice!
Technology is great. I didn’t have to wonder “Who called me?” I could simply Google the number. After Google turned up no results, I went to a service called Spokeo. Spokeo helps you identify people based on a strange phone number. They don’t always get it right but they do have a pretty impressive record of past owners of that phone number.
I plugged in the strange number than had called me and up came a name I wasn’t familiar with —but it was a name. I had what appeared to be the current (or previous but recent) owner of the number.
After Googling the name and coming up empty handed, I went to Facebook and typed in the name. Bingo! There he was. Looking right at me. And we had 4 mutual friends. I looked at his business but didn’t recognize it. Then on the mutual friends to try to solve the purpose of this mystery caller. I sort of knew them but not well. I knew a little about one of their businesses but couldn’t figure out why they would be calling me.
I then looked at some of the mutual friends of the mutual friends for more clues, but nothing was jumping out at me. I looked through some pictures of their Facebook pages and finally realized I was going to have to cave in to my curiosity—and just call back the unrecognized number. I decided I would call and whoever answered, I would explain that I saw they had tried to call me earlier in the day and I am sorry I missed their call –and was calling now to see how I could help them. And ask, “And whom do I have the pleasure of talking to?”
I dialed the number, fearlessly, and waited for the ring.
It rang. Loudly.
I had dialed my back-up phone.
My mystery was solved.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon May 20, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET I just failed to prove I am not a bot trying and failing repeatedly to sign in to LinkedIn after forgetting my password yet again.
I typed about 15 random combination of made up words and failed each time to read these sign-in word forms correctly. 15! This was not something I took lightly.
Which means….I suppose, that I am a bot!
Which does explain a few things about me I’ve never understood like being drawn to HAL’s voice in 2001 A Space Odyssey when I was just a child.
But doesn’t explain why I would be so eager to sign in to LinkedIn at this hour.
Maybe I’m a bot with a heart.
Or at least a bot with a networking gene that lives on despite my automaton ways.
It’s my own way of railing against the machine. I suppose. ; )
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue May 14, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
A lot of girls swear by the “thank you” text after a first date. (We’re assuming the guy pays- because he should. :-)) And most guys say that they like to get the thank you text. Or email. But whenever something’s done out of obligation it loses its power. I’m not denying the importance of thanking the guy. But look at the text above, and now imagine saying (or hearing it) it in your most sexy sultry voice while looking a guy straight in the eye, leaning in and showing a hint of cleavage at the same time? Now that’s a powerful move.
Timing is everything. My husband and I missed the first season of 24. We got introduced to it when Fox ran a marathon on Labor Day of 24 hours consecutively, just as they really happened when Jack Bauer was really there. It was so realistic. Well, not really. But the draw of watching it in real time was so powerful that we became instant addicts of the show for life. We couldn’t even bear to go to the gym that Labor Day (well, we did but they had TV’s there) or go to sleep because of what we were missing. It was never the same in future seasons of course but we were happy loyal fans most of the time. It was the timing that got us.
So too is dating. The momentum, the pace, the immediacy as well as the suspense (you can’t give it all up in the first episode) are all what make things exciting. That’s why you have to “leave it all on the field” on the first date. Don’t get complacent and think- I’ll just send the thank you email tomorrow and then I can show how I feel on the 2nd date. You might not get a 2nd date!
Speaking of 2nd date, a lot of the clients that I coach ask me what to do after the first date to make the second date happen. My answer to the girls is this: Nothing.
As I alluded to above, what you do to get the 2nd date always happens on the 1st date. You can’t try to strongarm it afterwards. It just doesn’t work. On the 1st date, be flirty, interesting and interested. Be on time; thank him if he pays. If he doesn’t pay, be very skeptical. (Unless you asked him out.) Always kiss on the 1st date if you like the guy. Don’t maul him; it should come from him but help him create an opportunity for it to happen. Then say good night sweetly and turn and walk away with a spring in your step. That’s what I mean by “leave it all on the field.”
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Nancy Slotnick: “thx 4 the drinks. I had a great time.”
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The Recovering Politician Bookstore
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Yes! It really can happen. And just did to me.
