John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Teeth Are the Windows to Our Soul

I started seeing a new dentist today.

We visited before my check-up and it turns out we know some of the same people and spent time in some of the same places when we were kids.

We seemed to hit it off and I think he felt like I was pretty solid guy.

And then he looked for the first time into my mouth. When he came up it was as if there was a sign in the… back of my throat that said “This guy makes lots of bad choices about what he eats and has been lying to dentists about flossing regularly for nearly five decades. You shouldn’t trust him –unless you want to end up like his right third molar. Once upon a time that molar trusted him and look at it now.”

I wanted to explain but didn’t want my new dentist to know I knew what he was thinking.

So instead I changed the subject to something more positive and forward looking: teeth bleaching and the best toothpaste brands for sensitive teeth. And, yes, I sucked up big time by asking his assistant (where he could hear) for a  recommendation for the strongest dental floss available as I tried to create the impression that I had, in fact, always been a serious flossers who simply needed better guidance —and now I was finally getting it.

When I left we shook hands and I felt I had rehabilitated myself in his eyes—but only partially. He didn’t base his entire opinion of me on my lowly right third molar. He realized there was more to me than that one poorly cared for tooth and it was just one of 31 total teeth in my mouth (I had a wisdom tooth extracted last year due, in part, to negligent dental hygeine. But there were mitigating circumstances that are too complicated to rehash here). My other 30 teeth weren’t necessarily impressively maintained–a basis for trust and respect —but at least they were good enough to buy me a second chance to make a better first impression.

It’s too bad because I think had my new dentist at “Hello. I really needed to get my teeth cleaned today and am glad you could fit me in.” But then I had to go and open my mouth wider…and let him look inside. That was where things went all wrong –and I now wish I had been more reserved and selective about the teeth I showed him on our first meeting. But then again, I am quickly reminded, it is the dentist office and it is hard to show only the teeth I want him to see without coming off as a tease– or a complete and utter idiot.

It is just important to remember that for most people you meet for the first time, they view our eyes as the windows to our soul. But with dentists it is several inches down and only after you open wide. Our teeth, viewed in this way, are a kind of Rosetta Stone of who we really are as a person. Are we responsible? Do we have our priorities right? Do we plan ahead? Do we do daily maintenance work for the things that matter most in life? Can we be trusted with the health and welfare of 32 permanent adult teeth? And how do we manage decay and tooth desertion (or extraction) ? None of us can, if we are really honest with ourselves, answer every question “yes.” But we can try.

And let us not forget that no matter how good we pretend to be on the outside, a dentist peering into a new patient’s mouth is like a seasoned and street smart pastor who has seen it all staring into our flawed,  and unflossed souls.

We hope when meeting a new person that they will see us as we want to be seen. But when that new person is a dentist that hope is short-lived. As soon as the dentist comes up from glancing into our mouths that first time, we can be sure– that at best –they will sadly see us as we really are.