John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Magazines in Waiting Rooms

Waiting rooms, magazine ads, and the grieving process.

It just occurred to me while thumbing through a magazine in a waiting room that I will probably never post pictures of myself on Facebook (or anywhere else for that matter) of a photo shoot of my modeling underwear in the forest.

I can’t say that I’m sad about that. Or that it ever occurred to me to ever want to do such a thing. It didn’t.

But something about closing in on 50 causes a mental shift. Instead of looking past a magazine ad I’ve seen before and thinking nothing of it, except perhaps, “I can’t believe that guy is actually posing like that. Embarrassing.”

There is a very subtle shift. Now I see the ad and say, “Geez. He’s really young. And fit. I’ll never look like that again. Heck, I never did look like that. But now it’s even worse. Not only did I never look like that….I never will. Ever. And I’ll never, ever be asked to do a photo shoot in the woods featuring my pecs.”

It’s not as dramatic as it sounds. Not really. I remind myself I never really wanted to do that anyway and that I used to roll my eyes at the ad, back when “potential” was still part of my vocabulary and could be applied to me.

And, no, I don’t want to buy the cologne being sold. I don’t hang out with 25 year olds in the forest with my shirt off. I’m not the target audience, I guess.

I shrug.

After shrugging, I turn the page.

And see the new Brad Pitt Channel ad.

And start looking for Highlights magazine to thumb through instead of the glossy grown up magazines? I’ve grieved enough for one day already.