John Y’s Musings from the Middle: iPhone 6 FAIL

jyb_musingsMy iPhone 6 doesn’t work!! I am so disappointed.

No, no. I don’t mean that it doesn’t work in the “doesn’t function properly” sense. Or that it is bendable or has some sort of software bug.

I mean the iPhone 6 doesn’t work in the larger sense that it failed to make my life feel utterly happy and complete –and to make me more organized, hip and successful than I was without an iPhone 6.

I tested my theory by not telling several people close to me that I now own a iPhone 6 to see if they would comment about the “new me.”

For example, I expected to start getting invited to certain chic parties I hadn’t been invited to before –or having these friends struggle to identify what exactly was different about me now (since they didn’t know about the new phone). Perhaps they would ask me questions like, “Did you get a new haircut recently?” Or “Did you lose even more weight?” Or “Did you just do or buy something that has made you irresistibly fabulous over night?”

Well, none of that happened. In fact, one friend even told me I was irritating because I kept talking about smart phone upgrades hoping he would ask me if I had upgraded recently.

I am thinking of returning my iPhone 6 for being outright defective for not delivering to me that elusive “x factor” or “Je ne sais quois” the iPhone 6 ads seemed to be promising.

On the other hand, maybe I simply got the wrong color and need to exchange my white iPhone 6 for the gold of black models. That has to be what the real problem is.


Otherwise it would mean something is wrong with me. Or that I am going to have to wait for the iPhone 7 to be released.


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