John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Another Brilliant Business Idea

Another brilliant business idea. Sort of.

(Think late night infomercial)

In our more mature years resolving marital disagreements can be challenging.

When couples are younger couple and one spouse (often the male spouse) finds himself in error, there are a variety of conventional methods for remediation. These can range from from taking on extra chores around the house, finally doing yard work put off for too long, visiting in-laws for the weekend, long talks processing feelings, to utilizing the pull out couch in the den over night.

But as you get older a male spouse’s energy level and physical limitations make some of these conventional remedies impractical. Yet a mistake was still made and something has to be done about it.

I propose a new product that allows perjorative things to be written on the offending spouse’s tombstone for an agreed on period of time. The product would be made with a type of disappearing ink after a set number of days, weeks, or in some cases, years depending on what the spouses agree upon is the appropriate period of time for the public humiliation punishment.

For example, a tombstone could read:

John Smith 1947- 2026
Loving husband, great father, and dear friend to many
Lazy (2011)
Inconsiderate (2013)
Assh*** (2005)

The last three rememberances could be in the disappearing ink and written out without asterisks with the year the offending behavior occurered in parenthesis. These could be recompense for punishment for mistakes made in the past but during the mature years.

The beauty part is there is no painful extra work in the yard to do right now but a satisfactory punishment is still meted out that is appropriate to the misdeed. And remains for everyone to see. At least long enough for everyone the surviving spouse wants to see it. (For example, long enough for all living friends to see but not great grand children)

And for just an extra $9.95 a month the same tombstone message can be placed on the bereavement website for your loved one.

This way, finally, there is a way for both the deceased and their surviving spouse to Rest In Peace.