By Julie Rath, on Fri Jan 9, 2015 at 8:30 AM ET In my third and final interview, Leadership Coach Nisha Moodley explains how attractive “a man that can make it happen” is to her, and how having good style can easily create that. She also gives her take on the difference between confidence and cockiness. Click here or on the image below to hear what Nisha has to say on the matter.
And if you’d like more style tips and to get your questions answered by me, sign up for my FREE online event “How to Dress for Power and Success” coming up next week.
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Jan 8, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET  Sometimes in life –as we get older –we find ourselves doing things not because we “want to do them” but rather because it is the “grown – up thing to do.”
I just had one of those moments. And it feels good inside.
We just left a video arcade where a 9 year old boy was playing Pop-a-Shot and thought he was really hot stuff. He had an entrouge cheering him on: his father, mother and older sister. They were chanting things like “Go, Josh!” and “That’s great, Josh!”
Well, I did what any other guy in a video arcade would do who had Pop-a-Shot game. I immediately got 4 quarters and went to work. While the family was still close enough to watch me.
I filled it up, too! Josh’s high game was 22. Mine was 41. ‘Nuf said!
As I turned to walk away in hopes someone in that family would marvel out loud, “Who is that guy?” or at least say to me “Great shooting!” But none did. Instead they stared downward at the machine and watched it spit out ticket after ticket I had won with my score.
It was at that moment I knew what I should do: Reach down and grab the tickets and buy my 16 year old daughter and 20 year old son a toy prize.
But something deep inside me reminded me that when I did that in the past –when they were very young – we never made it home with the toy prize intact.
And then something hit me at a deeper level. It was this question: What would a real grown-up do? And I had it. I knew without even thinking. A real grown-up would leave the tickets so he wouldn’t have to clean up the mess in the car after his kids tore up the toy prizes trying to play with them. And I did.
Josh grabbed the tickets and looked at me and I just smiled. I told him I was 51 years old now and he could have my tickets. He thanked me excitedly. I shrugged and looking at his parents and added, “If I were 49 I might want to keep them.”
They laughed out loud. But that’s because they don’t understand. They were in their early 40s and couldn’t yet know where I was coming from. But one day they will.
By Josh Bowen, on Thu Jan 8, 2015 at 8:30 AM ET  I have spent every morning drive to work, evening drive home and workouts listening to a variety of motivational videos on YouTube.
I feel these videos give me the juice I need to start and finish my day, plus have a great workout. I listen to the prophetic one liners that grab my attention like no other. The powerful statements that resonate in my brain and soul to keep pushing and working hard.
The best videos will be centered around the “why.” The why is most important driving force in any attempt to capture your dreams. As I explained last time, my why was the relationship I have with people and the ability for me to make an impact on them.
I use fitness to do that. Others use other methods to do the same. Everyone’s “why” is different. It is unique. It says a lot about the person and who they are, not what they do. Now lets cut to the chase. Motivation, inspiration and accountability are all things I can offer anyone, client or not.
Today, I would like to throw down a challenge for anyone who is willing and able to accept it. We will call it the 30 Day Aspire Challenge or #aspire30 for short. This challenge is meant to keep us all accountable to improving ourselves. It will also keep you motivated and accountable before the holiday season is upon us.
The Rules
Number 1- if you decide to take this challenge you need to find one thing (only one) to focus on improving or taking action on for 30 days. This could be increasing the number of workouts you do per week or cut out all processed sugar. reading two books or eat at least three meals a day. It has be something that can be measured and it needs to be specific. Eat better is not a specific goal, eating at least two servings of green vegetables per day is. Figure out the goal and take action on it starting tomorrow.
Number 2- To hold yourselves accountable and to create a buzz, I challenge you to use the hash tag #aspire30 for everything social media post you make related to your goal. If you don’t do social media that is fine, shoot me an email or text to let me know if you want a little extra accountability.
Number 3- This should be fun. Have fun with it and see what happens in your life. I guarantee there will be a difference in your world if you just focus on one thing for the next 30 days. My challenge to myself to read 2 books; Start with Why and Leaders Eat Last both by Simon Sinek. I am a slow read so getting these read in 30 days will be a challenge but a challenge I am ready for.
So who is in??? See you on the other side.
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Jan 7, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET I want my wife to know how hard I am working this morning.
We are on vacation but it is still a work day for others and I have to put in several hours this morning.
I know Rebecca knows I work hard but I worry that she doesn’t fully appreciate just how hard.
She was with me this morning in the car during several important calls when we went out to get coffee. I think that impressed her but then I dropped her off at the hotel and stayed in the car to work since I didn’t want to wake up the kids. I went back to the room an hour later to let her know there had been several more calls –and even more calls to come after that.
Granted these “calls” don’t involve manual labor or any kind of real physical work, but I want my wife to imagine my conference calls are the equivalent –or harder — than draining physical labor.
 I just texted her again to tell her about some emails I am having to respond to and how stressful my morning has been but how I won’t allow any of this to impact our vacation plans today. I hope this will underline for her –and our children — all the sacrifice I make for them and how “I work so hard to support our family.” They love hearing me say that. Not really. But I love saying it. A lot, as a matter of fact.
Rebecca texted back her standard response that she appreciates all I do. And this time even included a smiley face. Which I apprecited.
The text has a picture of Rebecca’s healthy face but is a washed-out or white generic emoji to emphasize how drained I must feel.
I thought about texting Rebecca that I might be having some mild chest pains right now to emphasize for her how hard I am working and hopefully get more than a smiley face on her next text back. But since I am not having chest pains and am actually in a well air conditioned Starbucks enjoying coffee while doing my laborious “emails,” I am not going to do that right now.
But I am going to post on Facebook about how hard I am working this morning and how much I do for our family and tag her.
And then text her and ask her to have to kids read my Facebook post about how hard my day has been so far — and how I hope they appreciate it.
I am not asking them to praise me or tell me how grateful they are for me and all I do or to maybe tell me that I am a totally amazing husband and father. Although any of those things would be nice. All I am really asking is that they at least acknowledge my efforts in some small but significant way. Just “liking” this post would let me know my message is getting through loud and clear. Or at least vaguely and inadequately. Which is enough for my over-sized and needy male ego this morning.
By Beth Gamulka, on Wed Jan 7, 2015 at 10:00 AM ET  This week, 13 final-year male dental students at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, were suspended from clinical rotations pending further investigation of complaints filed by fellow students and by 4 professors. These men were members of a Facebook group called Class of DDS 2015 Gentlemen on which misogynistic comments about their fellow female classmates were posted. While the student complaints were initially filed in early December, the suspensions, announced on January 5 by the university, have now made national news.
The Facebook page comments that have been included in various articles are definitely misogynistic. These young men publicly discuss which dental anesthetics would best be used for date rape, and voted for which fellow female classmates would be best for hate sex. What is most horrifying is that it appears the social media group was not new, and that these future dentists were just several months away from becoming full members of their profession.
I have no doubt that Dalhousie University will address the investigation of these complaints and follow through with disciplinary action in an appropriate manner. Like many universities, they have instituted policies that will direct the administration in an equitable and through manner. It may be an arduous process (too slow for some—which prompted a complaint by 4 professors who felt that the university was slow in its response). Given the turn of events, it will likely be a much more public process than the university had originally intended. However, this process is still reactive and does not address the underlying problem. How can we teach professionalism to young men and women so that they will graduate not only with the clinical skills necessary to practice in their chosen health care profession but with the tools to conduct themselves as professionals in public?
Medical and dental school admissions have gotten even more competitive since I applied. There are many qualified applicants who do not get a spot and the vast majority of the current student body is superb. However, medical and dental students are generally young and lack life experience. They may have more scientific acumen than common sense. Certainly, students in their 20s make mistakes. How, then, can those of us involved in their education impart to them the necessary skills required to become excellent practitioners?
It is not just a good memory or excellent fine motor skills that are needed. In every clinical rotation, students are evaluated for their professionalism as well as for their clinical knowledge. Faculties of medicine and dentistry certainly value professionalism and understand that these attributes are equally important. Health care professionals need to be reliable, to communicate well, to listen well, and to respect others, be they colleagues, patients or other health care team members. They need to understand that they will be held to a higher standard in exchange for the privilege of interacting with patients when they are at their most vulnerable.
Can we teach professionalism by example? I hope so. I have repeatedly given students feedback about how to address families and patients when we enter rooms. Students need to be reminded to make eye contact, to use lay language, to not speak as if the patient was not in the room and to address any questions openly and honestly. Most appreciate the feedback and incorporate it into their patient interactions. But there is an important part of their education that does not occur at the bedside or in the classroom. Students need to lead by example for each other as well. They are each other’s future colleagues in a self-policing profession. They should not lose opportunities to help each other develop those necessary skills.
The challenge of teaching professionalism will always be there. Like with school bullying, those who remain quiet when witnessing inappropriate behavior can influence the change. Perhaps in a climate where poor judgment and immature behavior is identified early, and where fellow students can promptly and safely report inappropriate behavior, the new generation of health care professionals will hold each other to the high standards required of them.
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Jan 6, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET  See this picture? To the discerning eye it is a catastrophic accident — and multi million dollar law suit — just waiting to happen.
Remember a few decades ago when McDonald’s served an extra hot coffee to an elderly customer — but did not seal the top when handing it to her — and she spilled it in her lap and suffered severe burns and made national news when she was later awarded several million dollars in damages?
Well, the exact same thing almost happened to me yesterday but instead of an unsealed cup of scalding hot coffee it was an unsealed cup of cold ice water.
Fortunately for Tommy Burger I spotted their outrageous negligence putting me in harms way and sealed the cup of ice water myself. And later drank it in my car without incident.
Sometimes, even in the face of wanton negligence, you just get lucky. This was one of those times.
By Erica and Matt Chua, on Tue Jan 6, 2015 at 8:30 AM ET The Romans never cease to amaze me, here I am writing about Jordan and the Middle East yet the Romans have yet again inserted themselves into the history of the region. I shouldn´t be surprised considering that they were one of the largest empires in the ancient world. I guess it says more about my poor grasp of history than the Romans that Ididn´t realize they conquered the lands around the Mediterranean and beyond. Yet I was shocked to find one of the most important and well preserved cities of the Roman empire in modern day Jordan.
The imposing Hadrian´s Gate sets the tone for your visit to the impressive ruins of Jerash. Passing under the enormous arch of the Gate I was even more blown away by the Romans. Not only had they stretched their empire farther East than I had thought, but I was dwarfed by the stunning architecture, collonaded streets and towering temples that made up the ancient city of Jerash.
While Petra gets all the attention Jerash should not be missed, a far less crowded visit allows for a close-up look at the splendour of the ancient Roman empire. If you time your visit right, which seems to be more luck than anything, you can enjoy the site void of any other visitors. Without the crowds I found a new appreciation for the worn cobblestones of the Cardo, where if you look closely you can see the chariot tracks and begin to imagine the city´s major buildings, shops and residences that lined the road.
The Nymphaeum set my imagination in motion once again as I tried to picture the grandeur of the fountain in it’s prime, decorated with lion heads and etched with detailed carvings. Somehow without any modern day reminders transforming the sights of ancient Jerash to their original glory, in my mind, was easier. The luxury of seeing the city without a throng of tourists gave me a new appreciation for the Romans and their amazing ancient cities.
The Romans were never ones to overlook entertainment as is evident with the 3,000 seat theater in Jerash. Occassionaly used today for performances, it’s amazing how the stone steps and massive stage have stood the test of time. Without a performace in the amphittheater it was still an incredible testament to the Romans architectural expertise.
While I sincerely hope your historical knowledge is better than mine, if you let the world be your classroom you can learn about the Roman empire in Jordan of all placews. The architecture will amaze you, sending you back in time to imagine what the ancient world was like in the Eastern reaches of one of the most powerful empires in the world.
WHEN YOU GO:
Get a taxi from Amman, we opted to navigate the confusing and difficult public transport system to make our way to Jerash only to find that a shared taxi home was much easier and almost the same price. Skip the hassle and get a cab
Come prepared, Jerash is huge and requires a fair amount of walking, wear comfortable shoes and bring lots of water
Plan for a half day at least, visiting the ancient ruins of Jerash requires a lengthy cab ride and lots of working so make sure you budget enough time.
By John Y. Brown III, on Mon Jan 5, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET This morning, watching the sun rise and drinking my coffee as I absorbed the idea of a new year unfurling, I wondered what song I would pick to mark the occasion — to set the tone for the first hours of an entire new year.
A raft of different jazz and rock and jazz-rock songs came to mind along with a classical tune and one hip-hop piece.
I decided my song for 2015 would be Aja by Steely Dan. But as I listened to the first few seconds of that song I realized that wasn’t what I wanted or needed.
I didn’t want a backward-looking song for 2015 but a forward-looking song. One with fresh words and surprising images that describe the beginning of a new chapter in life. A chapter I haven’t read before about concepts I don’t already think I understand but am excited to attempt to because I am finally ready.
A song that dances in my head and taps in my toes but also nourishes my soul and can animate my spirit. A song that doesn’t seem to have a beginning, middle or end, but is asynchronous yet flows sensibly in unseen directions. And flows toward something true I do not now know but have been searching for and lays it out before me to pick up or merely listen to again. Something light yet profound. Something curious yet familiar. Something obvious yet invisible.
Something musically that I can escape to whenever I want to that lifts my spirit and makes me feel like I am dancing while standing still. A song that helps me see things that can only be seen with my eyes closed and that has a rythmic melody that reminds me of my better self in better days that have not yet happened. But are about to.
A new song. That hasn’t been written or sung yet by anybody and can maybe only be heard in silence by the lyrical tenor I choose to live my life to in 2015.
And plays as often as I want to hear it on a new Sirius station nobody else can find but me.
By Saul Kaplan, on Mon Jan 5, 2015 at 8:30 AM ET  Theories of life are a dime a dozen. For what it’s worth, here’s mine:
Hourglass Theory Of Life: Start with broad learning, narrow focus for impact, return to generalized exploration before the sand runs out!
Every life takes a different path but as sand moves inexorably through our personalized hourglasses there are patterns worth considering.
The top of the hourglass represents unlimited potential. While full with life’s sand anything and everything seems possible. The future is brightest when we start with the broadest learning. No limits. No boundaries. Zen Buddhism teaches us the important concept of beginner’s mind, approaching everything with an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions.
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki
I’m blessed to see beginner’s mind in action every time I see our three year-old twin granddaughters. It’s exhausting to watch them explore the world around them with reckless abandon, soaking up diverse inputs, experimenting with every sense, and squealing with delight with every surprising new discovery. All kids are born great. Our youth is characterized by broad general learning, the broader the better. The top of the hourglass is about foundation building. It’s about being a voracious generalist. It’s about keeping all opportunities open. The goal at the top of the hourglass is to explore the widest possible frontier of ideas and tools and to establish confidence in a sandbox full of capabilities that can be combined and recombined in unpredictable ways as the future unfolds.
As the sands of time move through our youth it’s important not to jump too fast into the narrow part of the hourglass. I worry about societal pressure to specialize too soon. There seems to be a steady drumbeat advocating for a narrow college education in order to maximize job prospects. Resist it if you can. Have you ever asked a group of people if they are doing what they thought they were going to do when they were in college? I have, and they almost never raise their hands. You can’t predict what you are going to be doing in the future. Why not treat college as foundation building and part of the top of the hourglass, an opportunity to explore a broad rage of interests and capabilities.
I think a liberal arts education is one of the world’s greatest experiences and the best possible preparation for an unknowable future. I didn’t get one in a rush to specialize and regret it. I nudged all three of our children successfully! It bothers me that as a society we aren’t making liberal arts education more accessible, affordable, and preferable.
The middle part of the hourglass represents focus and leverage. As the hourglass narrows so does our focus to accelerate and maximize progress and impact. It’s a wonderful time in our lives to mine our generalist foundation for personal growth. As the sand moves through the narrow part of the hourglass we specialize. We specialize as our interests and capabilities become more focused and clear. We specialize to advance professionally and economically. We specialize to better position ourselves in a competitive world. We self identify with how we choose to specialize. We seek professional credentials, titles, promotions, raises, and market validation based on how we specialize. The narrow part of life’s hourglass represents heady times. It can be a fantastic time of life with the right generalist foundation and strategies for specialization. It was for me, but something was missing. I didn’t fully understand it then but it was time for me to stop leaning against the flow of sand back into the wide part of the hourglass.
I’ve come to believe that the potential to transition from a competent specialist to being a voracious generalist again is one of the most important inflection points in life. There’s no right or wrong age to transition and of course many people choose or try not to. For me, it felt like a natural part of life’s journey. I don’t know exactly when it happened (I think for me, like for many, 9/11/01 had something to do with it) but at some point the specialization thing got old. It felt too limiting. At the margin each promotion, raise, professional accolade felt less important and relevant. It may happen in different ways and at different times in each of our lives but if we are fortunate we become free to unleash our beginner’s mind again. We become free to leverage both our generalist foundations and deep specialist capabilities to work on an entirely new set of important social challenges. We free ourselves to randomly collide with unusual suspects outside of our specialized silos and to explore the grey areas between us. The world seems new again and we are armed with the superpowers that come from a lifetime of experiences.
This innovation junkie feels blessed to be experiencing the wide part of life’s hourglass again and I intend to enjoy it and try to make a difference before the sand runs out.
By John Y. Brown III, on Fri Jan 2, 2015 at 12:00 PM ET New Year’s Resolution (for pessimistic under achievers)
“To NOT live my life in such a way in 2015 that my New Year’s resolution for 2016 is to repair the damage I caused in 2015.”
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My New Year’s Resolution
To enjoy and celebrate the good qualities I already possess
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I hope my cell phone’s New Year’s resolution is to not die so often in 2015.
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I’m celebrating New Year’s in CA on Pacific time but live in KY which is on Eastern standard time.
That means all my friends in KY will be getting a 3 hour head start on me for 2015.
You know what…Bring it! I’ll catch up by March. You just wait and see!
(Oh, and yes, I needed the extra 3 hours for 2014.)
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