By Julie Rath, on Fri Sep 20, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET 
Even if you’re still rocking shorts and polo shirts, the time is now to make plans for your cool weather wardrobe. I’ve been pounding the pavement and interwebs hard looking for the best items for my clients as the stores are flush with new merchandise. If you’re planning on doing some Fall shopping yourself, I must warn you that one of the worst things you can do is to go shopping without a plan or, at the very least, a list.
Just wandering into a store aimlessly is for sure the easiest way to end up with nothing at all, or worse, to get pushed into buying a pile of clothes you’ll never wear.
With that in mind, I created this list of 18 must-haves (or nice-to-haves) to inspire and keep you organized as you craft a smart Fall/Winter wardrobe.
Transitional jacket — think peacoat, car coat, or other medium-weight option
Leather jacket – here’s how it should fit
Overcoat — buy now while the selection is good, and there’s still time to have one custom-made
Outerwear vest — wool/cashmere/down, as in the header image
Lined raincoat — you can also get one with a zip-out lining, which is one of the most versatile garments you can own
Dress boots — yes, you can wear these with your suit!
Bad weather boots — look for options that are waterproof and have rubber soles for traction
Wool/cashmere socks — if you’re tall or have very long legs, get ones that go over your calves so your legs remain covered when you sit
Wool/cashmere ties — perfect for frigid days in combination with a scarf
Hat, gloves and scarf — don’t wait for someone to give these to you as a holiday gift!
Winter-weight casual pants — Incotex makes great corduroys and moleskin pants
Heavier-weight sport shirts — a trim-fitting flannel is a great weekend go-to
Heavier weight dress shirts — in more tightly-woven fabrics like oxford
Fall/Winter suits, dress pants and sportcoats — look for tweeds, flannels and heavier-weight worsteds
Menswear vest — wear with jeans for a stylish going-out look
Sweaters — v-necks, polo-necks, henleys, thin cardigans and thick shawl-collared cardigans are good options
Long sleeve tops — in thick materials like waffle-knit
Hoodie — look for one that’s super soft and trim-fitting
Remember, autumn is all about layering, so even if for example the idea of a thin cardigan or outerwear vest don’t appeal to you, think about them in combination with the rest of your wardrobe. The more you can mix and match pieces, the more versatile what you own will be.
If you’d like more tailored help with your Fall/Winter wardrobe, contact me. I’m currently booking appointments for the first week of October.
http://rathandco.com/2013/09/your-fall-shopping-list/#ixzz2eVuyqrmb
By John Y. Brown III, on Thu Sep 19, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
The other day a journalist friend came by my office with her 11 year old son who was wise beyond his years. I learned he was a gifted student who liked science and art.
I responded, “Wow. That’s a rare combination. Like someone who is good at both math and verbal on the SAT” to show I understood smart sounding stuff too.
I tried to engage the young man and encourage him. I asked him what science courses he liked and he said, I believe, bio-technology and I maybe something about genetics. Finally he mentioned chemistry. Yes! I was back in the conversation. I said, “Yeah, chemistry….Yeah. It’s tough isn’t it. That’s the one with the Periodic Tables and all those hard to remember formulas. I mean….you know, ummm….little um…you know. Little uh…formulas.”
“You mean, chemical elements?”
“That I do,” I said. “Yes, I mean the chemical elements.”
Excited to be engaged by an interested adult, he pulled out some art work for me to see. I perused it and tried to interpret it so he would think I knew more about art than my weak showing with science.
 It was a complicated drawing with war and chaos and peace and tranquility juxtaposed.
I suggested, “I think I get this.” Adding, “I’ve always loved to artistic mind and trying to understand what motivates it.” I offered, “I think I get what you are saying here. You are saying there is a war….battle of some sort….and then after we get through that….after we get through that …there is peace and happiness. Right?”
“Yeah” my young friend said.
Then I focused in on the one part of the drawing I didn’t understand. There were two rabbits. One drawn in the war zone and the other in the peace zone.
“I’m thinking….the rabbits. I’m thinking the rabbits probably mean, or signify…..I’m not.. …No….Hmmm. I’m guessing the rabbits are to symbolize…..uh….I don’t know. Tell me about the…So, what do the rabbits stand for.”
“Oh, nothing” my young friend explained. “I just like rabbits.”
And finally a breakthrough for me. “I totally get that” I said. “I like rabbits too.”
By Josh Bowen, on Thu Sep 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET With Nancy Slotnick providing dating advice and Jeff Smith counseling politicos, we’ve decided to add a new feature at The Recovering Politician from which every member of The RP can reap benefits: health and fitness advice. Our teacher is Josh Bowen, the Quality Control Director for Urban Active Fitness. Josh has spent the past 4 years directing and leading 400 personal trainers in 7 states. Before that, he served severak years as a personal trainer, with his most difficult client being The RP himself. The strength regime designed by Josh helped The RP overcome two decades of upper back problems.
And now, every Thursday at 8:30 AM, he offers advice for you and your families.
If you have any health and fitness questions, please send them to Staff@TheRecoveringPolitician.com.
 To launch this column at The Recovering Politician, I have compiled a list of strategies to keep our kids active.
A friend of mine, who is an elementary school teacher, told me that her kids are only alloted 15 minutes of recess a day. Often times the teachers are under such scrutiny to hit certain test scores that PE and recess are but on the backburner. If the school systems would only take a look at several studies that show the more active a child (or adult for that matter) is the better their mind words to absorb vital information. So by limiting and abolishing recess and PE we are doing a disservice to our youth. We have to take matters into our own hands to keep our kids moving and active. These strategies are not revolutionary but they are helpful. Here we go!
Strategies to Keep Kids Active
1. Promote Activty, not exercise- Huh? Yeah! Promotion of exercise and workouts are not going to get your kids hyped up to go to the gym or even ride their bikes for that matter. They may not be ready for “exercise” but they will more than enjoy activity. This keeps the young mind that loses interest quickly, on task and having fun. I suggest the following:
– Active Play: ditch the video games and play catch, hide and go seek, Simon says and twister. Go old school, take it back to when you were a kid and you played hide and go seek for hours. Remember how much fun that was? I can’t tell you the last time I heard a kid talking about hide and seek, they would rather play Halo. Halo ain’t got nothing on hide and go seek (forgive me, I am from Kentucky)!
-Try an Active Party: In the summer time throw a party for your kids at the batting cages or in the winter a blowing party would fit the bill. Old school mentaility but activity nonetheless. This may inspire your young ones to pick a sport or find a hobby, all of which is great!
– Give them a Choice: Yes, they should be consulted with these decisions. A ten year old is not going to do something they do not want to do. So back door them, get them to pretend it was their idea and watch what happens!
2. Limit Screen Time- A surefire way to increase your child’s activity level is to limit the number of hours he or she spends in front of a screen — including television, video games and online activities. For example, you might consider a limit of one or two hours a day and, for a better night’s sleep, no screen time in the hour before bed. To make it easier, don’t put a television in your child’s bedroom, don’t watch television while you’re eating dinner, and restrict computers and other electronic gadgets to a family area. Also consider limiting other sedentary activities, such as text messaging or chatting on the phone.
Read the rest of…
Josh Bowen: Strategies to Keep Kids Active
By John Y. Brown III, on Wed Sep 18, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET Why can’t they make one of those?
I need a smartphone app that explains the meaning of life to me and then charts my daily progress on a multi-color graph based on a bracelet I wear and the spiritual significance of daily activities I input on this smartphone app after I sign in.
And I want to be able to post my weekly progress report on Facebook.
By Krystal Ball, on Wed Sep 18, 2013 at 10:00 AM ET
By Jason Atkinson, on Wed Sep 18, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET
By Lauren Mayer, on Tue Sep 17, 2013 at 3:00 PM ET Every now and then, a situation arises in which seemingly disparate elements come together in perfect unison, like some cosmic Venn diagram (if you haven’t seen this on elementary school homework lately, it’s a diagram invented by John Venn in 1880 using overlapping circles to illustrate logical relations between a finite collection of sets). (See, some of my digressions can be educational!)
It could be that day your schedule works out perfectly with 3 successive appointments all being right next to each other, or receiving a sample of car air freshener on the day both your boys decide to take their shoes off in the car after a long hot day, or noticing that several news stories all relate to a common theme. (Although I must admit, the car air freshener was wishful thinking – any parent of teenagers can probably relate . . . )
Last week’s news provided that perfect convergence for New York Times-subscribing opinionated liberal musical humorists who write for a site advocating bipartisanship, who are embarrassed by how rarely they tackle international news, who find no humor in the situation in Syria, who played a lot of music by Russian composers as young piano students, and who feel particularly strongly about gay rights. (Okay, maybe there’s only one of us . . . . but you never know!) In case you are another “I-should-read-the-world-news-but-I’m-in-a-hurry” type, Vladimir Putin took John Kerry up on his slightly facetious offer to have Syria give up its chemical weapons, talked to his buddy there, and may have helped avert a showdown in Congress about military action. But just as we were feeling relieved and even maybe grateful, Putin then published an opinion piece in which he blasted us for thinking America had any real role in the world and lectured us on how all people are created equal (but apparently not if they’re gay?) At any rate, from my rather odd perspective, there was something so irresistible about the combination of a Russian leader helping avert a crisis while simultaneously advocating anti-gay laws and then writing an anti-American op-ed which produced irate responses from both Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner. Now that’s a remarkable achievement!
By John Y. Brown III, on Tue Sep 17, 2013 at 12:00 PM ET
“My most emasculated—or feminine— moment. You know what I mean.”
A friend and I were having coffee Friday and he brought up a topic and used the term “emasculated.” That is a painful word to read and even more painful to write and dern near impossible to say out loud. But there it was.
Except we weren’t sure if we were using it in the right sense. My friend meant it in the “males are de-powered by women” sense. I think I was thinking of it in the singing castrato sense. And then both of us–at least partially–meant it in in terms of a “man feeling overly feminine” sense.
We didn’t say it but understood what we were talking about and were just going with it….and my friend had that look of “Don’t interrupt the flow of the story by asking the precise definition of a word.” Followed by the “”You know what I mean” look. You know what I mean when I say the “You know what I mean” look, right?
Anyway, that got me to thinking afterwards, “What situation in my life made me feel the most, well, feminine, that I’ve ever felt?”
OK. It’s a guy thing. We don’t like talking about such things but have been known to quietly wonder about it. (Just not write about it on Facebook). That’s an attention-seeking thing…and another story all together. But back to my point.
I had grown up in a household filled with women outnumbering men by a significant multiple. A lot of good came out of that. I was more nuanced and sensitive and had better grammar than most my male counterparts. The bad? Mostly things like not learning how to fish or hunt or shoot a gun or change the car oil. Or, yes, even change a tire.
By the time I was in my mid 30s I had never had to change a flat tire and started to secretly imagine I might get through life not knowing how to change a tire and no one ever finding out. Like having webbed feet and wearing socks my whole life so no one ever knew. The shame of not knowing how to change a tire was abating….and a sense of me possibly outsmarting the system began to displace it.
Until the year 2001. I went to visit the North Carolina secretary of state, Elaine Marshall, and went with my IT programmer, Steve Spisak. We were going because Sec Marshall offered to give us her office’s software code for an e-government initiative we were implementing so we wouldn’t have to purchase it or write it internally. Just give her office credit for it.
Steve Spisak is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and makes me feel more masculine than most guys because I suspected that although he probably knew the mechanics of things like changing a tire he probably tried once as a boy and hurt himself and ran to his room and started writing computer code instead and never looked back.
Driving home from dinner that night with Secretary Marshall the unthinkable happened. Lo and behold, Sec Marshall’s car breaks down. Actually the car didn’t break down. And I began to realize she’d simply had a flat tire. She was relieved. I was mortified. I didn’t say “S**t!” out loud. But it came up inside me automatically from so deep a place I worried others might have heard it. I know I did. It was an agonizing slow motion “Ssss*****eeeee*****tttt!”
I was petrified. It was the South and I was with a female colleague as her guest and my brilliant software programer. Meaning I was the more masculine looking of the two males present— and was about to have to finesse my way through pretending how to change a tire while not knowing how to change a tire.
My first bluff was acting like time was of the essence and we needed to call AAA. Elaine balked and said that would take extra time and we’d have to tip the driver and for me to just change the tire and she’d help.
I said, “Sure. OK.” and then tried to play along. At least for the next 15 seconds until I could think of my next move.
I did remember the spare tire is kept in the trunk…so I slyly —almost cavalierly –strutted to the back of the car like I’d done this a thousand times before. I asked her to pop the trunk in as masculine a voice as I could muster. She did. But there was no spare tire that I could see. That noise came from deep down inside me again….Fortunately Steve knew to look under the mat in the trunk and someone had apparently hidden the spare underneath it in a spare-sized hollowed out area. I thought to myself, “I wonder if they made it that way on purpose so the spare wouldn’t stick out?” Before I could decide if car manufacturers hollowed out a place for spare tires in the trunk of cares, I was caught off guard again. The dang tire changing equipment was screwed into the trunk and had to be unscrewed! Steve helped with this too–and fortunately Secretary Marshall couldn’t see us and I just acted all busy and made grunting sounds so Elaine would think I was doing most the work behind the popped trunk.
I did carry the tire to the exact correct tire that needed replacing— the one that was flat. I placed the tire on the ground long ways. Steve picked it up and rolled it instead of carrying it like a medicine ball as I did. I made a mental note to remember that the next time I had to fake change a tire to roll don’t carry it like a medicine ball or baby.
Steve started doing something that looked to me like unscrewing a tire bolt…and it wasn’t easy. I jumped in and the two of us–a computer programer and a male secretary of state—gave it all the effort we possibly could while a bemused damsel in distress and female secretary of state watched on and hoped her two gallant heroes didn’t hurt themselves. I remember as I twisted with all my might falteringly a story about a 94 year old woman lifting a car off of a baby in a moment of super human strength to save the baby and hoped I could muster something like that now. I didn’t think try to imagine a baby’s life depending on the flat tire being successfully changed…but was ready to when the bolt finally turned. “Urrrr!” I growled. Like Steve and I had just finished placing a gigantic ton-sized stone in place at Stonehenge.
And the worst part was there were three more bolts to go. No one who built Stonehenge put 4 different ton-sized stones in place. It just wasn’t fair we were going to have to change the whole tire.
And then I got lucky. I love it when that happens. A local reporter walked by and asked what we were doing as he recognized Secretary of State Marshall. I laughed confidently and introduced myself as a fellow secretary of state from Kentucky and explained Elaine had had a flat tire and I was –with my colleague–changing the tire……and said it in that, you know, in that way that we guys do when we know how to change a flat tire. At least that was the impression I tried to create. I mean….c’mon…maybe the male secretary of California may not know how to change a tire. But Kentucky? No way. All man, here, sir!
The reporter looked over at our progress and I worried he was going to start criticizing our handiwork…but he didn’t. I suspect he may have been one of us. A non-tire changing male….because he only stayed long enough to quip he was writing a blurb piece the next day in the NC Observer titled “How many secretaries of state does it take to change a tire?” We all laughed heartily and knowingly as he walked away— and I just hoped he didn’t realize the answer was at least 3 and probably more.
After that I acted like I didn’t want to get in Steve’s way and, heck, Elaine and I had some serious business to discuss and I’d do that instead of changing the flat tire–in the interest of being efficient with our time. I still pretended to stay engaged with the flat tire work to avoid suspicion and did things like looked around for other reporters and passersby. Not sure how that contributed anything but it made me look busy and prevented the assumption that I didn’t know how to change a tire.
Steve finished up and I pretended to put the tools in the right place in the back of the car and we drove off. Two days late, Secretary Marshall emailed us the blurb piece about secretaries of state and changing tires. And we all had a good laugh.
And as I reflected on that night I realized I had narrowly…oh so narrowly….escaped. And just hoped that I wouldn’t find myself in that position again for at least another 50-60 years (having to change a flat tire) when I would be too old to change a flat tire and just let people assume I knew how but didn’t ask due to my advanced age. That was my plan. Put off the next flat tire for 50-60 years.
And it seemed to be working the first few weeks. And I could chalk up my funny Elaine Marshall and Steve Spisak NC flat tire story as the answer to the question, “What situation in your life did you feel the most feminine?”
As I said, my plan was flawless for 2 weeks. Then 3 weeks. And 50-60 years seemed not all that far away in the offing…. at least where flat tires were concerned. Until the next week while driving home from Frankfort in a state car during 5pm rush hour….it happened. I had a flat tire. The swear word from deep down inside me didn’t even come up this time. But sweat beaded on my forehead.
I didn’t have a cell phone. I didn’t like carrying one back then because I liked to think to myself without worrying about my phone ringing at any moment and startling me and causing me to lose my train of thought. So I couldn’t call for help.
Cars whizzed by. A few even honked because they were friends– but not good enough friends to feel guilty about not stopping to help me change a flat tire. Those flat tire changing friends are very rare friends indeed.
It was too far to walk back to Frankfort….so I tried waving down a car to help. I figured I might get lucky and get a 18 wheeler to pull off ….perhaps the driver would have some time on his hands and being very masculine (like truck drivers are) he would change the tire for me without ever asking if I knew how to. Just for the exercise and to show off, I figured. I kept my navy blazer on while flagging down cars in hopes whoever stopped would offer to change the tire for me and not suspect I was more likely to be able to explain String Theory than successfully change my own flat tire.
I thought back on my experience in NC a few weeks earlier and started chuckling to myself. “Hey,” I said to myself, “At least you won’t be ‘that’ embarrassed” this time……
A car pulled off the road to help. “John?” said a friendly voice. I didn’t recognize the gentleman but was so grateful he was kind enough to stop. He was a state employee and I shook his hand and thanked him profusely for stopping. He said he knew what it felt like to be in this situation and felt bad for me and wanted to help.
At about that time I noticed he was wearing a small diamond earring and was immaculately dressed—at least compared to my rumpled navy blazer. He also was thin and fit and very nice and sure of himself. And just as he was about to ask me to pop the trunk I realized that my rescuer was quiet possibly a gay man.
I tried not to think in stereotypes but was horrified that I was about to have to explain to this wonderfully kind and presumably gay man that I didn’t know how to change a tire.
As I realized my most feminine feeling moment ever (which had just happened in NC a month earlier) was being displaced by a new experience on the side of the road in Waddy Peytona. And I didn’t have Steve, my computer programmer, to cover for me and simultaneously make me look more masculine than I was.
And then I realized I may have caught a miraculous break. The wonderful thing about gay men (and that was just an assumption) is you can tell them things like “I don’t know how to change a tire” and not lose any of your masculinity while at the same time watching them take over and change the tire for you because, hetero guys are like TV sitcom husbands and dads —useless in a humorous kind of way. I was so relieved and I felt my secret was safe. It was like I was telling a longtime best friend a deep dark secret about myself–and not being shamed. It was liberating too.
My new friend changed my tire in record time and without breaking a sweat. He changed that tire like Steve Spisak writes code. And much better than Steve Spisak changes a tire–even with me pretending to help.
I drove away and started to make peace with the fact that I didn’t know how to change a flat tire….and I may or may not have 50-60 years before I have my next flat tire. But that was OK now because I had a back up plan. If I had a flat tire in the future I would try to flag down a competent and compassionate gay man who wouldn’t judge me. And still change my tire for me.
That was 15 years ago….and counting.
By Artur Davis, on Tue Sep 17, 2013 at 10:00 AM ET A few takeaways from Bill de Blasio’s apparent victory in New York’s Democratic mayoral primary:
(1) If the New York Times’ insider account of his strategy is accurate (and not just post victory spin by consultants) de Blasio deserves a substantial amount of strategic credit for running against the grain of initial polling as well as conventional wisdom. Six months ago, the best empirical and anecdotal evidence was that New Yorkers were generally contented with the city’s direction, and preferred a successor that offered a continuation of Michael Bloomberg’s policy tilt, albeit in a less autocratic, more compassionate style. It turns out that had de Blasio heeded that mindset rather than challenging it, his candidacy would likely have suffered from the thematic muddle that damaged Christine Quinn’s and Bill Thompson’s efforts.
That is no small nod to de Blasio, given that most campaigns become prisoners of their own data and the temptation to craft a message broad enough to leave virtually every sector of the electorate (and the universe of endorsers) in play. And in making a bold play for a silent, but disgruntled majority, de Blasio enabled himself to benefit from an emergent shallowness in Bloomberg’s popularity: once the voice of opposition to Bloomberg became an unabashed liberal (and the ad featuring that candidate’s polished, appealing son) as opposed to Fox-loving critics of soda bans and the National Rifle Association, the mayor’s approval ratings bled, and his putative heir, Quinn, collapsed. (for a similarly adept Republican example of tossing conventional wisdom aside, see Bobby Jindal’s 2003 race for Governor of Louisiana, when an obscure, thirty-something Indian policy wonk opted to run on a comprehensive ethics platform when polls described the state’s tepid economy and the wounded petroleum industry as the major voter concerns. Jindal lost in 03, but his 48 percent showing tagged him as a fresh figure who became the presumptive favorite four years later.
 (2) Bill Thompson’s inability to mobilize the African American vote, which had he dominated it, would have put him and de Blasio in a dead heat, is even more surprising than it seems on first glance. Unlike, say, my own 2010 race as a right of center Democrat, Thompson’s campaign was a conventionally liberal affair that, post primary rationalizations aside, actually spent considerable energy and advertising on assailing New York’s stop and frisk laws. To be sure, there was a lawyerly, nuanced bent to the substance of Thompson’s arguments—more thorough supervision versus an outright repeal—but it is unlikely that Thompson’s increasingly personal and forceful denunciations of the controversial tactic did not register on the city’s African American electorate. Nor did Thompson, by the way, reap much benefit from his support from one of New York’s influential and minority dominated teacher unions.
Read the rest of…
Artur Davis: The Tale of New York
By Nancy Slotnick, on Tue Sep 17, 2013 at 8:30 AM ET I met my husband on the street. So meeting strangers in public space is not foreign to me, even though I am shy by nature. I am counterphobic I guess. And I am also in the business of helping people to meet.
I had the opportunity to attend a tremendously interesting conference at Harvard this week about public space: its design, its uses and its politics. It was called Putting Public Space in its Place. It was organized and chaired by Professor Jerold Kayden, who has an organization that advocates for the Privately Owned Public Spaces (POPS) of New York City. These spaces have largely been neglected and abandoned. As a result, the owners have either privatized them or let them languish in the majority of cases. I’m interested in the question of re-claiming public spaces for the public, and especially for the purpose of human connection.
Because I am in the matchmaking business, I think a lot about the way people meet their potential dates. I always hear from clients; “Where do I go to meet people? Is online dating the only option? I see people on the subway or at the park that I want to meet, but it seems too awkward- what can I do?” We get the term “ice breaker” from the fact that it can feel as cold as ice to break through the defenses that people have up, especially in a big scary place like New York City. A warm smile can be all you need if you dare. But because smiling at a girl or guy you like can be close to impossible, I’m thinking a warm matchmaker may be necessary. Industry experts say I’m getting warmer.
Public space needs a hotspot. I’m not talking about the Wi-Fi kind. Vast open public space can be a wonderful canvas for design-o-philes, but Fred Kent, founder and president of Project for Public Spaces, calls for creating smaller enclaves, a process that he coins “placemaking.” This type of user-friendly design will encourage social use that is fun and engaging. (I am paraphrasing here so I hope Fred will forgive me.) This type of public space set-up has the capacity to spread the love naturally.
But when it comes to meeting new people and facing rejection, especially in public, there is a missing ingredient that extends even beyond great design. In my experience in the singles scene, people need shepherding. At the conference they call it stewardship. So I will just call myself the Stewardess of Love. That sounds sexy! Coffee, tea or a date? That’s what Matchmaker Café is.
Read the rest of…
Nancy Slotnick: PDA
|
The Recovering Politician Bookstore
|
