Lauren Mayer: Boys, Sophomoric Humor and Politics

here are a variety of theories attempting to explain the relative minority status of women in comedy, ranging from socialization (women are raised to laugh at others, not to tell the jokes) to courtship (men want to be the ones to make others laugh) to good old-fashioned sexism (club owners tend to be men and think men are funnier).  At any rate, women tend to be less comfortable with, or at least less proficient at, off-color humor – which is why it’s so startling when they do get down & dirty (part of Sarah Silverman’s huge appeal is that she looks like a fresh-faced girl-next-door and talks like Lenny Bruce).

I don’t know if it’s my gender (female, duh), my age (not telling, duh, which tells you I’m old enough not to want to tell), my upbringing (raised by a feminist mother who forbade Barbie dolls because they fostered an unrealistic body image, and an intellectual father whose idea of a joke was offering to do his Millard Fillmore impression . . . . but I digress), or my Ivy League education, but I’d always believed cerebral wordplay was infinitely superior to potty humor.  My one near-break as a comedy performer was an invitation to audition night at The Comic Strip in LA, after I’d won some cabaret awards in San Francisco.  I did a couple of my witty, Noel Coward-esque songs about current events, to polite applause, but then the man after me impersonated the male sex organ having its first orgasm, complete with sound effects.   Needless to say, he totally killed and got invited back.  (To be fair, this was almost 30 years ago.  Don’t bother doing the math, let’s just say I was old enough to rent a car – but barely!)

I never had to wrestle with whether or not to adjust my highbrow ideals, because shortly after that I started a family.  Turns out, the biggest influence on my sense of humor has been having two sons, particularly once they hit puberty (and especially once Husband 2.0 came on the scene, whose brilliant plan to cure the boys of using foul language was to have ‘swearing night’ at dinner so they’d ‘get it out of their system.’  Instead, they both just enlarged their vocabularies!)  Between language, rating each other’s burps, and Family Guy, I’ve pretty much surrendered to a frat house environment.

I still try to keep my weekly songs witty and informative – which means usually my sons ignore my videos (apart from my 17-year-old reassuring me that ‘over 100 views is viral for old people’ – cue rimshot).  But this week, I’ve succumbed to a sophomoric tone, at least in part – which means my sons think this week’s song is actually cool.

Erica and Matt Chua: In Search of a White Tail

It’s hard to avoid expectations, they are just a given in life.  For example When you go to dinner you expect to have a menu with multiple items to choose from, when you book a taxi you expect them to take you to your destination and when you pay a high fee for something your expectations go up.  While traveling has taught me to temper my expectations, I couldn’t help but have high expectations when I paid $145 NZ dollars ($120 USD) for a whale watching tour.  In fact if you don’t see a whale you get your money back. How could I go wrong?
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I saw my whale and the tour was a success, with a perfect whale tail photo to show for it.  However, the tour is one that I would have a hard time recommending.  I was giddy about the prospects of seeing one of the world’s largest mammals in it’s natural habitat, but a little hesitant about the large price tag. So, I headed to the whale watch headquarters in hopes of encountering an over-zeoulous salesperson to give me the pitch about how nothing can compare to seeing a sperm whale in Kaikoura.
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Instead when I walked in no one greeted me and upon enquiring about their whale watch tours I was simply given the times they had available the next day.  Thinking maybe I had to show a little enthusiasm to get them pumped up I asked which tour was the best to spot a whale on.  The woman behind the counter answered flatly, it’s really about luck.  Okay, I said, clearly hoping for more from her to which she responded you can book now without putting any money down.
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I booked a spot on their first available tour in the morning and left with lowered expectations.  Lucky for me we were couchsurfing with an expert on sperm whales.  Our host, Manuel was getting his PhD in sperm whale behavior and offered all the encouragement I needed to get pumped up about my whale watch tour in the morning.  Not only was this one of the best places to spot the huge mammals he told me, but from my pictures he would be able to tell me which whale I saw since he had been studying them for years.

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Erica and Matt Chua: In Search of a White Tail

Erica and Matt Chua: World’s Top 5 Dance Performances

I never thought I would write about the top five dances to see around the world, but these performances moved me.  They were not merely entertaining they were mind blowing.  From the unbelievable Arirang Games in North Korea, which is the largest choreographed dance in the world to the spiritual ritual dance in northern India to help instruct Buddhists through the stages of death these five dances will give you a whole new perspective on each of the countries you watch them in.  They may even change your life and your transition into the afterlife.

1. The Arirang Games

Pyongyang, North Korea

Any attempt to explain the annual Arirang Games in North Korea are lost on anyone who has not witnessed the incredible show for themselves.  The “Mass Games” as they are also called enlist over 100,000 people to honor their “Eternal Leader” Kim Il-Sung on his birthday with the largest choreographed show on earth.  With performers practicing their parts from the early age of five and dancing as a part of the collective, every part of the show represents the communist way of life.  It is an incredible spectacle and one you have to see to believe.

2. Tango

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Tango may quite possibly be one of the sexiest dances in the world, making it a must-see dance, and there is no place it is more ubiquitous than Buenos Aires.  The famous tango enclave of La Boca in Argentina’s capital has a cafe on every corner featuring a sequen-clad couple performing for tourists.  No trip to Buenos Aires would be complete without seeing live tango, it’s just a matter of deciding where to watch it.

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Erica and Matt Chua: World’s Top 5 Dance Performances

Erica and Matt Chua: Buenos Aires Walking Tour

Walking past gorillas and robots, followed by a church dating back 200 years, then skyscrapers with men in business suits pouring out and finally sitting down to a steak lunch while watching tango dancers…just another day in Buenos Aires.  Navigating from neighborhood to neighborhood the scenes change quickly from graffitied buildings in San Telmo featuring gorillas and robots to the financial district with smartly dressed business men on Florida Avenue.

Buenos Aires has something for everyone and being such a walk-able place there is no better way to explore than on foot.  Below is a short summary of my favorite neighborhoods in Argentina’s beautiful capital:

Monserrat

Home to the Casa Rosada where Eva Peron famously addressed the nation, Monserrat forms part of Buenos Aires’ business district.  The concentration of significant public buildings and local history make this a requisite stop for any visitor. This small neighborhood can trace it’s roots back to colonial times, it was here in 1580 that Spanish conquistador Juan de Garay first arrived with settlers from Asuncion and Santa Fe.

Must see: Casa Rosada, the elegant pink government building (feature in the above photo)- guided tours are interesting and worth checking out, take a stroll around Plaza de Mayo, which is always busy and offers great people watching.  You can see Buenos Aires oldest church in this barrio, Iglesia de San Ignacio de Loyola sanctified in 1734. And don’t miss Manzana de las Luces (Block of Enlightenment), a block of 18th century buildings including Buenos Aires National College

Puerto Madero

Puerto Madero is one of the newest barrios in Buenos Aires, located in the old port area, the brick warehouses have been transformed into trendy restaurants and offer excellent dining. Porteños (residents of Buenos Aires) spend weekend afternoons strolling along the docks, riding bikes on the wide pathways, and lingering over coffee and pastries at riverfront cafes offering great people watching.

Must see: Enjoy lunch at on of the many luxurious riverfront cafes, the all-you-can-eat lunch buffets are a great deal!

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Erica and Matt Chua: Buenos Aires Walking Tour

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Kentucky in Springtime

jyb_musingsKentucky in late springtime is about as beautiful a place on our planet as you can find. 

Especially early to mid-morning on a mild but sunny day when the foliage seems to be in 3-D and bubbling over itself. 

Kentucky, at this time of year, feels like a sublime combination of an upbeat John Cougar Mellencamp song that is an old favorite coupled with serving as irrefutable proof of God’s existence.

Erica and Matt Chua: Rafting Through Amazing Antarctica

Get up close and personal to whales, icebergs and flying penguins…what’s not to love about an Antarctic zodiac ride?  A certain highlight of any Antarctica expedition are the zodiac rides cruising between massive icebergs, having whales swim up to check you out and seeing the unexpected beauties of Antarctica.  While the view from the ship is great and the landings incredible, the zodiac rides provide an opportunity to get close to key parts of the Antarctic ecosystem.

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How often do you get to be in a boat that is dwarfed by an animal?  Not just an animal, but a curious animal that wants to see what you’re all about?  The sealife’s interest in the zodiacs is unforgettable, especially if you get to have a leopard seal try to eat your zodiak (it can’t, but that doesn’t stop them from taking a bite).

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Icebergs are beautiful from a distance, but stunning up close.  Often I found myself just staring, mouth agape, at the array of colors, textures and angles of the icebergs.  What my mind tells me should look like giant ice cubes are really so much more, acting as kaleidoscopes, coloring everything nearby.

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Erica and Matt Chua: Rafting Through Amazing Antarctica

Erica and Matt Chua: Can We Take Him Home Please…

We have all made the argument before in our lives, pleading “I promise I’ll take care of it, I’ll feed it and walk it and bathe it everyday…it can even sleep with me.”  This time the argument didn’t even need to be made, thinkCHUA wanted to take home a tiger too, only they weren’t for sale.  On our visit to the Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi, Thailand we were able to pet the tigers, play with the cubs and take the tigers on a walk under the watchful eyes of the monks, but we couldn’t take them home.  We were only able to take pictures and memories with us, even though the temptation was great to sneak a cub into our bags and back to our hostel.

thinkCHUA with tiger cubs at the Tiger Temple

The Tiger Temple or Wat Pha Luang Ta Bua is located in western Thailand, an easy day trip from Bangkok.  This temple is a sanctuary not only for Buddhist monks but tigers and other wild animals.  The temple was founded in 1994 and received their first tiger cub in 1999.  Villagers brought tigers to the monks at Tiger Temple in cases where their mothers had been killed by poachers or the tigers were injured therefore unable to survive in the wild.  Slowly their tiger population grew until they turned the operation into a conservation project and started breeding tigers.  Tigers are expensive “pets,” which is where tourists come in.

One of the many devoted monks that care for the tigers at the temple.

It costs roughly 100 USD a day to care for a tiger and being that monks don’t earn any money to cover these costs, tourists can visit the temple for 600 baht per person (roughly $20 at 30 baht to the dollar).  This is substantially higher than visiting any other temple but gives you the opportunity, as I mentioned above, to touch fully-grown tigers and to play with cubs. The money brought in by entrance fees covers the costs of feeding and caring for the tigers.  The temple is also reforesting a large amount of land nearby (‘Buddhist Park’) in order to give tigers a chance to be released into the wild in the future.

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Erica and Matt Chua: Can We Take Him Home Please…

Michael Steele: U.S. sanctions on Russia look a lot different from space

446px-Michael_SteeleThe untreatable international agita over Russia’s meddling in Eastern Ukraine is taking on otherworldly overtones here in the United States, where the Putin regime’s hegemonic bullying of its next-door neighbor is reaping unforeseen cosmic repercussions in the heavens, in the halls of diplomatic and military power, and in the courts.

Leave aside, for moment, the general concept of punishing sanctions, which haven’t hit hard enough to convince the willful Russians not mess with Ukraine. Forget, too, the internationally accepted and expected notion that sovereign nations should be left to set their own destinies. Insistence by pro-Russian separatists in Eastern Ukraine on moving forward with an intentionally provocative “self determination” referendum, and subsequent declarations of “independence” by the Donetsk and Lugansk regions, seem to all but assure that a deeper and perhaps bloodier conflict will soon engulf part or all of Ukraine.

In just days, roughly one third of Ukraine’s territory could effectively become a Soviet-style satellite. The current, minimalistic sanctions regime the Western powers have put in place has done nothing to stop the Russian power grab that is controlling the separatist movement from the Kremlin.

But aside from the immediate geopolitical price to be paid for indecisive Western reaction, there are other consequences to leading from behind. Here in the United States, satellites of quite another variety are becoming a new, central focus of the Ukraine crisis — our spy satellites.

Arguments abound in political, industrial, military and legal circles about the folly of the US defense sector’s reliance on Russian industry and technology to heft the Intelligence Community’s eyes on the world into low Earth orbit. You read that correctly — US surveillance satellites cannot attain their perches in the heavens without the aid and acquiescence of the Russians.

At particular issue here is the astonishing US reliance on Russian rocket engines for a longstanding heavy space launch program overseen by the US Air Force. Launches conducted by that program, known commonly as EELV, short for Evolved Expendable Launch Vehicle, have been sole-sourced to industrial behemoths Boeing and Lockheed Martin since the program’s inception in the mid-1990s.

In the years since the program’s founding, however, the relationship between those two rival firms and the US Government has grown quite cozy. Boeing and Lockheed Martin formed the consortium firm United Launch Alliance (ULA) in 2006, and since then, ULA has entrenched itself as the Air Force’s single source for heavy launches, most of which involve depositing “national security payloads,” or spy satellites, over troubled areas.

Other quite capable American firms have tried to enter this arena in recent years but have been rebuffed by any variety of unfair means.

ULA’s workhorse rocket is the Atlas V. The Atlas V is itself a fascinating historical artifact, designed by Lockheed Martin prior to the founding of ULA but after the Berlin Wall came down, the Soviet Union was thought to be vanquished, and Russian-American industrial and economic cooperation hit new, previously unimaginable heights.

At its core, the Atlas V was once looked upon as a symbol of US-Russian goodwill and technical collaboration. Those were different times, indeed.

The first Atlas V lifted off in 2002, soaring into the skies under the power of the Russian-designed-and-built RD-180 rocket engine, which still powers this mainstay even today. No Atlas V leaves a launch pad without at least one RD-180 attached to it. The rocket simply isn’t designed to accommodate anything else.

This means exactly what you have just deduced – the US intelligence agencies that need ULA’s services, not to mention the other government entities that launch their own machinery into space, are at the mercy of the Russian Federation. By its own admission, ULA has only two years’ worth of RD-180s in its stockpiles. That’s it. Either ULA will have to buy a whole bunch of rocket engines from the Russians before sanctions for Russia’s Ukraine misadventure are expanded, (at outrageously inflated prices, one would think), or the EELV program grinds to a halt in short order.

While some US firms like Space Exploration Technologies (SpaceX) have challenged ULA’s monopolistic hold on the EELV program, others are looking more specifically at the reliance on the RD-180 and don’t like what they see. One of these is Sen. John McCain, who has taken up the laboring oar to assure that competition in the launch market frees the United States from this bizarre and inexplicable dependency.

Current US sanctions against Russia for annexing Crimea and for further agitation throughout Ukraine’s East single out select individuals close to the Kremlin’s power structure. One of these figures is the man that oversees the Russian aeronautics firm that manufactures the RD-180. A federal contracts court based in Washington just this last week found itself grappling with the notion that engine purchases from this company could violate the economic restrictions placed on that individual, Twitter-hound and gadfly, Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin.

Rogozin bit back on Tuesday, announcing that Russia would ban RD-180 use by the United States for its military launches. The situation thus morphed from the ridiculous to the absurd.

Meanwhile, the United States could, in theory, still be sending millions, perhaps billions of dollars into Russian defense sector coffers to keep its rockets in flight, even with a coming deeper freeze in bilateral relations. For reasons of national and economic security, not to mention the future of US space exploration, this cannot stand.

(Cross-posted, with permission of the author, from TheGrio.com)

Erica and Matt Chua: Laos Unexpected II: 4000 Islands

Let’s be honest, sometimes you just do what’s easiest.  Even on a quest to do everything, on-the-fly adjustments are based on convenience.  For example, we took a night bus from Vientiane to Pakse to visit Vat Phou, pre-Angkor ruins.  Coming off a 12-hour bus ride we realized that our enthusiasm would fade quickly, as it would take five hours of additional travel to Vat Phou, then a 3 hour bus ride to 4000 Islands; traveling with all our bags.  As we considered our next move, a bus to 4000 Islands pulled up; hitting the easy button, we boarded.

The entry point to Don Dhet, the beach.

With plans as fluid as the Mekong which we stood on the banks of, we waited for additional travelers to share a boat to the islands.  Though we intended to stay on Don Khone, the next travelers to arrive were going to Don Det.  For the second time in one morning, our “plans” were pushed aside by the realities on the ground.  We joined them on the boat to Don Det, knowing little about where we were headed.

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Erica and Matt Chua: Laos Unexpected II: 4000 Islands

Erica and Matt Chua: He Said/She Said: Myanmar First Impressions

mynmarMyanmar was not a “scheduled” country on our trip, in fact we knew very little about it until we had our tickets.  Even after reviewing the Lonely Planet, it isn’t too often that you go to a place without a picture in your mind.  Here are the thoughts that crossed our minds in the first days in Myanmar.

HE SAID…

I had no idea what to expect when stepping off the plane in Yangon.  Really, no idea, I thought everyone could be riding horses around dirt roads or maybe a neon lit modern country.  The first thing I saw was the airport, which, at a greatly reduced scale, was a dead ringer for the Bangkok airport we had left.  Leaving the customs area, the I was surprised by the calm and quiet.  It was like we had left Asia, there were no hotel touts and taxi drivers, instead, there were locals waiting for their family members to arrive.

The first night we went for a walk and were surprised by the tranquility and darkness.  There were few streetlights in our area, but where there was light we saw very old vehicles and broken down roads.  It reminded me of the outskirts of Havana, until the power went out.  With no power, the dark roads turned pitch black for a few minutes until the roar of generators filled the air and lights came back on.  Returning to our hotel we became horribly lost and started asking for directions, the people we encountered were as helpful as anyone could be, they sincerely wanted to help us, even if that meant leaving their store to show us where to go.

When daylight broke we headed downtown to explore.  It was bustling and busy, but everybody was going about their own business, not hassling us.  Kids didn’t follow us peddling trinkets.  Men didn’t chase us offering taxi rides.  Tour guides weren’t posing as friendly locals trying sell you a tour. While this looks like Asia, it is actually an alternate universe; we had entered the Twilight Zone.

I am looking forward to exploring Myanmar as everything I have encountered I have loved.  The locals are helpful and friendly.  The food is delicious, offering some of my favorites including Roti Pratha and proper, flakey, pastries.  I am looking forward to what else I will find here.

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Erica and Matt Chua: He Said/She Said: Myanmar First Impressions

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