John Y’s Musings from the Middle: The Difference in Haricuts

The difference between Louisville, KY and New York City…

In Haircuts .

NYC:

A guy named Louie, a rough 60 year old Italian man who has been cutting hair for 32 years, shampoos, cuts and dries your hair. He doesn’t ask you how you want your hair cut but tells you what you need to have done. And then cuts it the way he wants even after you tell him you want your haircut a different way. But you like it better.

You think of the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and wish you could have been on it as a guest but that no one ever found out about it because it never aired–but you could have gotten some good clothing, style and haircut tips. You see another guy getting his haircut checking you out and take it as a compliment. Louie is finished with everything in 14 minutes and 45 seconds and charges $27.50. And you feel it is a bargain. And tip him $5 even though he doesn’t speak to you the entire time.

He successfully upsells you gel that you later throw away because you never use gel but didn’t want to admit that to Louie. There is no follow up appointment because Louie knows that next month you are going to be back in Kentucky and he’ll never see you again. And he also knows you’ll probably throw away the gel. But you won’t forget him or his name.

Louisville:

A young lady named Kera, a cute 23 year old woman from Louisville who finished cosmetology school last fall, shampoos, cuts and dries your hair. She asks you how you want it cut and you tell her and she tries to follow your instructions and does.

jyb_musingsBut you don’t like it as much as you’d hoped. You continuously scan the salon and keep hoping that the clientele who are 85% female doesn’t assume you are gay because you are getting your hair cut there instead of a barber shop—and try to look very heterosexual and uninterested in your haircut.

Kera is finished with everything in 27 minutes and it costs $17. And even though you had an interesting conversation with her about her family and where she went to high school (it is Louisville, remember, and where you went to high school is always the first question to a stranger) wish you’d asked for the other woman who’s name you can’t remember but you think starts with an “L” who cut your hair a few months ago —and you only tip Kera $3 but tell yourself it was because it was just easy to give her a $20 and be done with it and not ask for more $1 bills.

She fails to upsell you gel but then remembers you never use gel and apologizes for asking again. She successfully schedules your next appointment and reminds herself to try to upsell conditioner next time instead of gel.

Which you may buy, if it’s the woman who’s name starts with an “L.” Or maybe it’s an “M.”

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Today’s Fabio Affirmation

Today’s affirmation.

“Today I will remind myself that we all can’t look like Fabio on the outside.

But we can still feel like Fabio on the inside.
jyb_musings

And when I imagine myself today, from the inside that is, I will imagine myself with long flowing hair, a strong Roman nose, and an undisturbed inner confidence..

People may think they are talking to John Brown but they will “feel” like they have been talking to Fabio Lanzoni, but not understand why.

It is because of today’s Fabio Affirmation.

And only I need to know that.

John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Tips for Visiting NYC

Travel tips for visiting NYC.

If you are meeting three male friends who are highly educated and they ask you to meet at MOMA at 5:30pm, you may have troubles if you assume too much.

I assumed that since it was 5:30 they wanted to eat dinner, albeit a bit early.

I further assumed, rather excitedly, that my friends had suggested an Italian restaurant. Pronounced MO-MA. Like Italian, I assumed, for MAMA.

jyb_musingsI imagined big homemade meatballs from an Italian family recipe.

Then there is the problem of asking cab drivers to take you, please, to “Moma’s restaurant.” The first taxi driver pulled away without letting me in. I assumed he thought it was only a few blocks away and wanted a bigger fare.

Finally, when my exasperated taxi driver gave up on finding a Moma’s restaurant, he dropped me off at The 21 Club. I asked the kind doorman if there was a “Moma’s restaurant” nearby and apologized for not going to 21 Club. He politely told me one block over. Finally!!

And there I saw my three friends…although running a little late and by this time quite hungry. We were outside MOMA’s–which seemed to be more than just a restaurant (in fact it was big and long and seemed to include works of art as well). “Nice!” I thought to myself.

I asked someone working beside the entrance where the restaurant was. He laughed and said, “Restaurant?! This is the Museum of Modern Art! There’s no restaurant!!” And laughed again.

I alerted my friends they had mistakenly chosen an art museum that lacked a restaurant.

The friend who suggested MOMA’s said, “Oh, I’m not hungry.”

And it was about this time that I put two and two—really more like one and one–together.

We weren’t going to an Italian restaurant with homemade meatballs like I told my wife. We were going to the Museum of Modern Art. Which didn’t even have a concession stand.

Josh Bowen: Strong is the New Skinny

I have written several blogs and articles on the importance of strength training, particularly as it relates to women. I have documented the reasons why women should pick up the weights. However, for some reason, some people don’t get it. Some think they are a genetic marvel that if they look at a 40 lbs. dumbbell that their quads will expand and it will prevent them from wearing pants. Remember this; any man that works out would love for that to be their problem. I wanted to take the time to profess that Strong is the New Skinny

To back up my claim for those non-believers let’s look one strong hormonal difference between men and women:

  1. Testosterone- this hormone has a huge impact on muscle tissue growth (as well as other interactions in the human body). Men, on average, will produce 20 times more testosterone than women. This of course will determine the amount of muscle tissue a person can grow. That also is not to say women cannot build muscle, it just means you cannot build as much or as fast as a normal man.

So I bring this up because I firmly believe that strength training is as important, if not more important, for women than it is for women. Let’s look at those reasons:

  1. Decrease in Body fat- women who strength train will naturally have less body fat than those that don’t. That looks good! Its ok to have a little muscle J
  2. Increase in Bone Mineral Density- Women are more susceptible to osteoporosis than men and strength training helps combat that. The loading of the bones causes the bones to become stronger and increases the density, warding off brittle and weak bones
  3. It is great for your health- Research has shown that women that strength train are in better overall health than those that don’t. So pick up a weight and start going at it!

    Read the rest of…
    Josh Bowen: Strong is the New Skinny

Lisa Miller: Can’t Have Health Without Beauty

Lisa MillerIn the workshops and retreats I lead, a definition of health is always part of the conversation of the day.  I feel this is essential because we have such limited time on earth to enjoy being in a human body, to experience love, to revel in nature.  The healthier we are the more opportunities we have for these things to be possible over the course of the mere decades we get to have.

Often, in asking students the question, “What role does beauty play in your definition of health?” they think I’m asking about human physical beauty.  I do understand the confusion since vitality can be clearly visible in one’s countenance.

But what I’m really asking about refers to the experiential and how much personal time is spent engaged with art, music, literature, nature, spirituality, or other meaningful things one would classify as beautiful.

Oftentimes, we don’t realize that a complete definition of health includes the integration of beauty into our lives, but it does, in a big way.  Beauty fills a giant space in the core of human beingness.

On the flip side, as we age and tend to spend more and more time thinking about what’s wrong and worrisome, we further reinforce what’s broken.  But how to fix and solve those problems comes only partly from the itemized solutions and goals we think up.  The rest actually comes from allowing ourselves regularly scheduled time to just be with something profoundly bigger than our problems—with something beautiful that stirs both heart and soul.

sunsetThough spending time in “beauty” might not provide the specific solutions we desperately need for problem x, it absolutely creates the fertile ground from which creative solutions can be born.  It creates perspective, it soothes, it reminds us that we are not here merely to struggle.  Beauty reinforces hope.

Given the choice, why not go there?  “There” is anything that does it for you.

For me, the natural world satisfies a lot of this definition involving beauty.  I am mentally and viscerally

enthralled by the relationship between sky and ocean, and the constant fleeting change between them.

I took photos of this magnificent show last week over the course of 90 minutes, from about 7:15pm to 8:30pm as I hung out in the calm Gulf water and then from my chair in the sand.  So moved and awed by these gorgeous natural elements, I actually sang, out loud (don’t worry, no animals nor marine life were harmed in any way).

However, what I feel is profoundly beautiful, and what you feel is beautiful, probably differ.  What is it for you? The important thing is to know in one’s heart what that is.  Conscious awareness is essential here in order to participate in the experience when it shows up.

While I love the ocean, I spend most of my time in Kentucky, which I also love.  I’m enthralled here too, from my front porch.

appleI took this photo yesterday while observing my doggie, Apple, as she watched a family of robins hop around the front lawn in the rain.

I was acutely aware of everything good about this rainy day, the smell of the warm damp air, the sound of water, the flowers and happy birds everywhere.

It took just 10 minutes on the porch for my bad mood to be soothed after paying medical bills all morning.

I would definitely classify this experience as a beautiful one—I love a rainy morning in the summer, but it was Apple’s calm, sweetly quiet observing that made my heart melt in the midst of it.  And all at once I felt a revelation about the simplicity of beauty in beingness.  What matters most can be so routine and so right in front of us all the time that all it takes is some stillness and some noticing.

Lisa and AbbyI’ve lived in my house for 16 years, and I work from home for the most part, I can’t remember the last time I made the conscious decision to sit out on the front porch with Apple during a rain shower.

So now I know. These occasions add up; they make a difference in the overall quality of a life lived.  Near the end, I want to say that I lived a beautiful life.  So I intend it now—I’m seeking it and living it—trying  to make enough time for the nourishment of beauty in my definition of health today.

It must be working; I feel pretty good these days too.

I do plan to work on my singing voice now.

Erica & Matt Chua: Sao Paulo Street Art Smackdown

LOCAVORista may have fallen in love with Buenos Aires and thought it had the best street art, but she was mistaken…Sao Paulo holds that crown.  Yes, Buenos Aires offers a wide array of high-quality street art, but it pales in comparasion to Villa Madalena’s paint covered walls.  In fact, it’s harder to find places without street art in this posh Sao Paulo neighborhood than trying to locate art.  Let’s take a quick walk through the neighborhood to check out just some of the paintings.

The minds of the many artists in the neighborhoods have spilled out onto the walls exactly as this mural depicts: directly from brains to spray paint.

One of the larger works, the whimsical scene stretches almost an entire block, even working in the landscaping.

Read the rest of…
Erica & Matt Chua: Sao Paulo Street Art Smackdown

Julie Rath: Gifts for the Dapper Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Father's Day Gift Ideas

image via Moda Operandi

Growing up, my idea of fun was hitting the local menswear store and picking out ties for my dad. (Yah I know, I’m a good time.) And Father’s Day was always one of my favorite holidays because it gave me an excuse to do just that. If you’re not as fanatical about menswear as I am and need inspiration on what to give this year (or if you’re a dad and want to give hints), read on for my Father’s Day gift list.

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Dressy Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Cufflinks

These unique rose gold cufflinks ($550) are refined yet manly. The broad range of colors within the mother of pearl makes them easy to match.

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Snappy Ankles Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Socks

One of the easiest, most low-commitment ways to up your style game is with socks. If your dad needs extra help in this department (if he wears black Gold Toe’s everyday, the answer is yes), get him a few pairs from Paul Smith. They make a great variety of colors and patterns, and the socks themselves are durable ($30). Note that the more colors there are in the pattern, the easier it will be for him to match them to his outfit. For my Sock Matching 101 guide, click here.

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Festive Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Velvet Slippers

Does your dad (a) like to make a statement or (b) know how to have fun? Then these embroidered Dia de los Muertes slippers ($325) may be the perfect gift for him.

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Practical Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Money Clip

Bulky pants pockets are definitely not dapper. If your dad suffers from overstuffed wallet syndrome, help him streamline with this handsome crocodile money clip ($125).

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Traveling Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Multi-Currency Wallet

Many of my clients travel nonstop, often to different countries, and this multi-currency wallet would simplify things for them ($285). Make the gift extra-special by having it gold-stamped — you can choose from a variety of different motifs and/or lettering.

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Aesthete Dad

Men's Personal Shopper: Hermes Scarf Box

For the dad that has everything, this vintage table box inset with a silk Hermes scarf would make a fantastic addition to his repertoire (contact store for price).

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Need more tailored gift-giving help? Contact me. And have a happy Father’s Day!

Julie Rath: Ever Wonder What Colors to Wear?

julie-rath-bio-photoIf you’ve ever wondered what colors will bring out the handsome devil in you, you might want to consider having a color analysis done. This is a process by which someone trained in color drapes you in various fabrics to determine your optimal color palette. The idea is that the “right” colors will brighten skin tone, even out complexion, smooth skin texture, balance the shapes of your features and make you appear rested and younger. The “wrong” colors will dull skin and drain your coloring, making you appear tired and sallow…not cool at all!

Check out this video of me with the ever-dynamic Mary Schook on a Chinese news hour that aired this past weekend. In it, we discuss how colors relate to the Asian population, namely women:

Yes, color analysis may sound super girly, but it’s of particular relevance to guys, and here’s why: women can get away with wearing the “wrong” colors because they use makeup to help negate any ill effects those colors may have on how their skin looks. Most men, however, don’t wear makeup, so it’s crucial if they want to make flattering clothing choices that they know what colors will look fantastic on them.

If you’re in the New York Tri-State Area or metro-Boston and are interested in getting your colors done officially (and in English), contact me.

Julie Rath: My Hands-Down Favorite Hair Product for Men

 

My always sharply-dressed and well-coiffed friend was visiting town last weekend, and both his Mint Tingle Facial Masque and his hair product were commandeered by airline security. So he asked me for a recommendation as to what he should buy to tide his hair over while here. After busting on him for being such a product junkie, I told him – and now I’ll tell you – about my go-to hair product: Kusco-Murphy Lavender Hair Cream. While in all cases one size doesn’t fit all, I’ve seen it work nicely on a variety of hair types, and that’s why I recommend it.

Its texture and weight are perfect, as it’s neither too greasy like some of the heavy waxes out there for guys, nor too sticky like the silicone-based anti-frizz products.

Also, it’s not a gel, so your hair actually looks like hair, not a gravity-defying “blowout” like DJ Pauly D’s signature ‘do from Jersey Shore (check out this amusing video tutorial of him demoing his hair styling technique: “I’m just rubbing the gel around the perimeter”…wha? If your hair has a perimeter, we need to talk. See my Services page.).

Anyway, back to Kusco-Murphy’s lavender goodness.

julie-rath-bio-photoThe smell is amazing, but very subtle, not like you bathed in Axe Body Spray. Although this product is on the expensive side, a little bit goes a long way. The best price I’ve found for an 8 oz jar is $30 plus shipping here or $35 from Arte Salon and Bigelow Chemists in Manhattan. Take a dab and rub it between your palms, then work it in back to front.

Check it out, and let me know what you think!

Julie Rath: Before and After Decoded

Men's Style: Before and After
Have you seen my latest before and afters? I just added several updated sets to my new website.

The before and after section is the most visited part of my site, so this week I’m lifting the hood to show you how it came together for my client in the images above: John Bailey. John is a Management Consultant, and he was looking to create a more appealing image for speaking and presentations. Here’s how he described what he wanted to accomplish:

“Take the package that is me – height, build, bone-structure, baldness and all – and create an image that says ‘authority, approachable’”.

John is located in Oregon, so we did all our work via Skype and email. Here’s how it went down:

Color
The black and silver color combo is too aggressive for business. In addition, because John’s head is bare, the black shirt is overly intense and stark on him – almost making him look like a floating head. Overall, he was coming off too strong in his before look. In contrast, the lavender shirt is more flattering, and in combination with the sportcoat, it’s friendly but authoritative.

Proportion
John is 5’ 8” and slightly stocky, so a main goal was to make him look longer and leaner. The diagonal lines of his sportcoat’s opening “V” are slimming and elongating, and pull him in at the waist. Paired with dark jeans, the jacket creates an overall monochromatic look that also makes him look taller and thinner. We had his jacket cut on the short side to make his legs appear longer.

Detail
The peak lapel on John’s jacket draws the eye up toward his broad shoulders and his face in a flattering way. He looks sharp but approachable with his open collar.

Hair
John had already ditched the moustache pre-Rath. Good call, John! The shaved head is a confident look (studies have been done on this – here’s a great article on the topic). Making the move from contacts to glasses made sense, as it adds dimension to his face so that he doesn’t look so bare.

With no head or facial hair, John’s look was vulnerable. He was attempting to strengthen that, but he was doing it in the wrong way. The end result was “trying too hard.” John says, “Men hate to ask for directions – and I think even more so about their appearance. It’s an admission of helplessness – and perhaps seems a bit vain as well. I think that holds lots of guys back from success … [Now] when I present professionally, the difference in how I feel – and therefore, how I carry myself – and the depth of the confidence I can project – is very significant.”

You can read more about John’s work here. A very warm thank you to him for participating in this article!

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