John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Welcome to the Apocalypse!

Anticlimactic Apocalypses

What will you be doing to celebrate the Apolcolypse this Friday?
I wish I could get pumped up for it but, it’s a lot like Halloween this past year, my hearts just not in it.

It was my 49th Halloween and I know the routine and have seen it all and knew there were not real surprises. Nothing new or fresh to keep my interest. So I just took it easy and picked out some candy for our house that I wanted to eat and treated Halloween 2012 just like any other day.

And today’s Apocalypse (I think this is the Mayan variety) will be much the same way. According to Wikipedia Friday will be Apocalypse 59 for me during my lifetime. If you can imagine being bored with Halloween after just 48 of them; try to imagine how checked out I’ll be for today’s Apocalypse?

And add to it that Apocalypses don’t even have candy or gifts or after school specials. They are just cataclysmic disasters that don’t happen.
Like going to the doctor to get tested every few years for leprosy.

Sure, I guess there is a sense of exhilaration hearing the news that you tested negative, but did you ever really think you had leprosy? Or that the Mayans were somehow that much better at predicting the future than the dozens of psychics before them that totally botched predicting an Apocalypse?

I won’t waste the day but I’m not celebrating either. I’m not even sure I want the t-shirt this time.

And a word to clairvoyants and psychics everywhere. I know that predicting the end of the world occurring on a date certain can get a fellow psychic a lot of street cred within your profession. But c’mon. Every year a new prediction? It’s getting to be worse that The Boy Who Cried Wolf. And these are grown men and women crying apocalypse. All the fun has been taken out of it. Look it’ if you are going to predict Armageddon, make darn sure you you either come correct, or don’t come at all.

At this rate, Apocalypses are about as exciting as a lunar eclipse. That hasn’t happened 58 times in a row.