John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Letting Down Dads Easy

It’s polite to let dads down easy.

The transition from the role of a strong, dominant , all-knowing, father-knows-best, man-of-the house to the diminished role of amusing obsolescence is hard on the male ego.

We are on our way to dinner in the care —my wife, daughter and me. My wife and daughter were talking about me and agreed I had been “good” this weekend. My daughter joked that maybe I …should get a gold star. My wife suggested we have a special board on our refrigerator to track my success.

They were laughing good natuturedly and I was even begrudgingly agreeing I deserved some sort of recognition for my “good behavior” this weekend.” But my daughter sensed I was slightly wounded by the receding role in the in the family and tried to reassure me. And that meant a lot and didn’t take a lot of effort.

She simply turned to me where I was sitting in the back seat and patted me on the leg and told me she was proud of me and would make sure it was a big gold star.