John Y’s Musings from the Middle: Flossing

Find yourself in a hole? Then keep digging. Or flossing.

That is often my philosophy and never serves me well…but I keep doing it anyway.

Today I was trying to floss after lunch with a new dental floss, Oral-B. I didn’t floss for the last 35 years even though I would tell my dentist I was flossing “some” every time he would ask “Have you been flossing, John?” —but now I am flossing.

But this new Oral-B floss broke off between two of my teeth–and part of the floss actually got stuck between my two teeth. And then kept breaking every time I tried to “floss out the floss” that was now stuck between my teeth.

My first brilliant idea was to double-over the floss to fortify it. That seemed like it might work but after much careful and strenuous effort, the “doubled-over” floss broke, too, leaving yet a larger piece of dental floss now stuck between the same two teeth.

But I hadn’t finished digging yet.

Before I took up flossing with real dental floss, I found packets of sugar (or packets of a sugar substitute) worked well as a flossing mechanism. So I picked up a packet of Splenda nearby to try to wedge out the two pieces of dental floss now stuck between my teeth.

And now have two pieces of dental floss and a corner of a packet of Splenda stuck between my teeth.

I think I will fish out the piece of a Splenda packet and leave the floss for when I go to the dentist next time –and just wait patiently for him to ask me the inevitable “Have you been flossing, John?”

I’ll be ready! And won’t have to say a word.